A NOTE FROM THE HUMBLE SCRIBE: I take no responsibly for some of interesting travesties found in this fic. This fanfiction is a result of a fanfiction challenge issued by two of my friends (who happen to be both sick and twisted). This particular challenge is of the list verity. Baiscally one of your friends approaches you and challenges you to a duel. Then you name the anime/book/movie/etc. Next, both parties proceed to scribble down 10 of the most horrifically horrifying, impossible to justify, and just plain weird things to put in a fanfiction. Exchanging lists, the duel then begins. The key to winning a fanfiction challenge is JUSTIFYING everything on the list and making it flow well in the story. Normally, the results are quite humorous. Examples of items that I have gotten in the past are stuff like: character A must only say things that can be misconstrued as dirty, or character F must be caught naked singing Dancing Queen. Things like that. Everything on the list must be included, though it doesn't have to be in any particular order.
Anyhow here is the list I was given:
1) Kaede thinks she is a pirate.
2) Miroku and Sango get it on in Naraku's evil lair.
3) Kilala & Shippo frolic, then wake up in a pile of empty cans.
4) A squirrel gets hit by one of Kagome's "love arrows" and falls for Shippo. I knowKagome doesn't have love arrows, but that is what I got.
5) Inuyasha is caught dressed in drag randomly throughout the story. Must have a boa.
6) Sesshomaru and Inuyasha get into a fight – then break out into a choreographed version of the YMCA (other Village People song is acceptable)
7) Kikyou, whilst making out with Inuyasha, bites his neck. This freaks him out a bit.
8) Inuyasha finds Kagome's vibrator. I still don't know how I'm gonna keep this PG13 with that one (shudder)
9) Kagura must wear a tiger suit.
10) Miroku goes to open his wind tunnel and instead makes his hand into a gun, says "bang", and proceeds to fall over. Okay yeah, that was dirty of them, mixing in Cowboy Bebop with Inuyasha. Booo!
Alright so needless to say, this shall be interesting. On with the fic!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters in the manga/anime. I only wish I was half as creative as Rumiko Takahashi and must be content merely parodying her glorious masterpiece.
What Happens in Naraku's Castle, Stays in Naraku's Castle
It was dark and storming, as such nights tend to be around the lair of an evil demon, when Inuyasha and his band of merry travelers stopped. They had been searching for their destination for so long that now, having reached it, allsix just stopped on impulse.
"So that's Naraku's castle," stated Sango who had, yet again, managed to change clothing in 1.2576 seconds.
"Looks to be that way," Miroku stated coming up beside her and mentally kicking himself for missing Sango sans clothing…again.
"Well all of us just standing here isn't gonna make Naraku any deader," the group's resident surly hanyou pointed out. "Let's go." And with that grammatically incorrect battle pep talk, the Inutachi continued on purposefully toward the castle.
The castle had probably seen better days. The once majestic roof was caving in and the wall, although still standing, looked as though it would crumble if blown on strongly. Not the iron clad, impossible to enter stronghold of all their imaginations, but it did have the advantage of possessing a creepy aura. Oh, and the lightening was a nice touch. However, as evil lairs go, Naraku's current castle was a bit of a let down. Large wooden doors loomed above group, but they opened with a happy creek with one shove from the half demon.
The inside of the castle wasn't much better than the outside. The only notable difference was the increase in the amount of miasma layering the ground. The pathetic outer wall surrounded several dilapidated buildings that seemed to center around a very large, very crumbly central structure, which possessed a great deal of stars leading to the collapsing entrance. The whole castle had the look of a child's play thing that had been discarded for a shinier, brighter evil lair.
Suddenly, the wooden doors slammed shut behind the companions with a loud bang, making Kagome shriek, Shippo hide, and Inuyasha draw his sword. Kagome turned back towards the castle proper, half expecting Naraku to descend the steps and ask in a Transylvanian accent if they would like to stay for a bite. The mental image of this caused a nervous giggle to bubble forth. Inuyasha glanced anxiously at the miko and questioned, not for the first time, if she was entirely sane. Sango ardently hoped that Naraku would get this over with quickly, without his usual posturing. Hiraikotsu was starting to get heavy, that thing was a bitch to hold in battle ready position. Miroku simply took the time to admire Sango's ass in her battle ready position before trying to concentrate on any evil tentacle-heavy archenemies that might jump out. He failed and went right back to staring at her butt. Shippo simply thought, "Gee that was an awfully strong wind," and continued cowering.
"Inuyasha," the evil voice seemed to come from everywhere, "it is so nice of you to join me in my castle. Quite predictable really. And now you have all so kindly walked into my little trap."
Kagome always thought that it was quite rude of Naraku to only address Inuyasha, as they were all there. But she simply added it to the list of the many reasons why he was a total meanie. Oblivious to Kagome's current line of thought, Naraku appeared at the top of the stairs in his little baboon costume and continued his monologue.
"You arenow allpermanent guests here in my castle. That is until the miasma kills you. But don't worry; if you don't want to be slowly poisoned by the noxious fumes, I have left some other surprises for you. The only way you shall depart this castle, is as spirits."
"You first you bastard," Inuyasha snarled. He then proceeded to raise his enormous sword and bring it down with a yelled "Kaze no Kizu!" (because you should always yell your attack at your opponent so they know what is coming). Naraku didn't dodge the attack however, and he dissolved into little baboon bits. The group ran up to what was left of Naraku, only to discover a crude wooden dolly amongst the fur. "Figures," muttered Inuyasha, as he turned back down the stairs and trotted towards the doors.
"Um, Inuyasha," Kagome piped up, "I don't think we can-" ZAP! And like a bug in a bug zapper, Inuyasha was electrocuted and thrown, sizzling back to the bottom of the stairs. "leave," finished Kagome.
"Uhhhh," was all the response she got.
"Well, this is just great," said Miroku sarcastically.
Okay that is all for now. Reviews are very welcome, and if I insulted your mother somehow in this chapter, feel free to flame. Whatever floats your boat.