Better Dead than Never Chapter 1: Better Dead than Never, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer:
Obviously the characters aren't mine or this would be a book rather than a fanfic ;) I'm not making a Knut out of this!

Chapter I

Better Dead than Never

The members of the Order of the Phoenix were slowly filing in to Dumbledore's office and taking up seats around a large table. There'd been a meeting late the night before, but they still had a lot to discuss. It was barely 7.30 and since it was summer, breakfast in the Great Hall would be served at eight. There was no hope of attending it at that time, of course. It had been decided the day before that Harry Potter would be allowed to attend this meeting, though his friends were not given the privilege due to strong protest from Mrs Weasley and some other members.

Everyone arrived and it was a quarter to eight when a letter appeared in front of the Headmaster in a flurry of sparks. They'd all been waiting rather impatiently for the arrival of Professor Severus Snape. The man was never late to a meeting unless he was summoned, but they knew that was not the case this time. He'd only come back from a Death Eater gathering last night.

Professor Dumbledore frowned at the envelope as he picked it up.

"It's from Severus." He explained to the questioning looks he received from everyone.

No-one knew why, but this statement only served to make their uneasy feeling grow. Dumbledore had an unreadable expression on his face when he opened the envelope. As soon as he unfolded the parchment inside, Severus' calm voice spoke from the obviously charmed letter, reciting the words that were written.

'Dear Albus,

My time is growing short, hence this letter contains my will, as well as a few choice words. Do not be alarmed. There is no reason to get up or to send anyone to check up on me. The sight most likely isn't pretty and I'd hate to spoil anyone's breakfast. It is before breakfast, isn't it? Judging by the way I'm going this letter should appear on your table by eight. It's charmed to show up the moment I'm dead. Yes. DEAD. Merry Christmas to all of you! Consider this a long overdue present… or an early present. Whichever you prefer. See? I am capable of friendly gestures.

'I'm afraid this isn't all. I ask you to bear with me and listen to what I have to say. Just one last time. I'm sure you can manage.'

Loud coughing was heard.

'On the other hand, why don't you listen to Albus. Could you please read the rest out loud?'

A raspy voice finished. Where was the silky voice they knew? What happened to that alluring, enchanting baritone? Dumbledore's face was filled with disbelief and sorrow. There was no twinkle in his blue eyes as he took a moment to study the shocked faces around him. The Headmaster looked back to the parchment he was holding.

'This letter consists of several parts. After you read it, it will automatically divide. There are messages to a select group of people (not that I believe many to be interested in what I have to say, but nonetheless). There will also be the will itself, in a form that may be presented to the Ministry.

'You are probably wondering why not separate everything. Why force you to listen to things that don't concern you? Well, after 37 years of being faced with abhorrence, scorn and mistrust I find a perverse pleasure in giving you an insight I have denied until now. Better dead than never, right? You always did consider me far too inhuman for my liking. Then again, I might just want to torture you some more. I won't get another chance to do so, after all.

'To my three true friends: Lily Evans-Potter, Lucius Malfoy and Albus Dumbledore, I have nothing to give.

'Lily passed away long before her time – leaving sorrow and grief in her wake. What you have given me I could not bring myself to give back to your son, which I shall forever regret. I cannot repay your kindness, but I can give back what else I have received.

'To Harry Potter I give anything and all that has, until now, served me as memory of Lily. Much of it may surprise you, Harry. Yes – Harry. Not Potter, not the Boy-Who-Lived, not Dumbledore's Golden Boy, not Dunderhead or Gryffindor. Just Harry. That's what your mother asked me to see you as when I saw you, first and last, in Saint Mungo's as a newborn. Need I say that I failed miserably? All I can offer you now are three meaningless, hollow words: I am sorry. Sometimes I had no choice but to be a bastard to you, in others… I chose not to see a choice. I hope my gift to you will give you some insight to what a wonderful person your mother was. You are very much like her. I have sworn to deny it to my grave, so I couldn't admit it till now. The only thing that you have inherited from your father is your appearance. Of course, your Quidditch skills are James' too. You will understand once you've gone through your mother's things.
As to your father… I'm afraid the truth behind our mutual hatred I have now taken into my grave. Perhaps it is better this way. I do not wish for you to speculate and wonder. Let it rest. However, know this, there are things you don't know and whatever might satisfy your curiosity – it will never be the truth.
Before I move on, Harry, Lily entrusted me with her diary. There are charms placed on it by Lily herself so don't sue me for reading some of it. She knew she and James were going to die. The book can only be opened by those whom she trusted. Even then, they can only see what she wanted them to. The thought of breaking the charms never even crossed my mind, but knowing Lils the way I did, I'm fairly certain there is no way to do it. She never did things by halves.

'Anyway, good luck Harry. It's a pity I won't be there to try to protect you anymore. I know you can generally take care of yourself, but fighting Voldemort is hardly a walk in the park. And Harry, whatever else you might be tempted to believe – the fate of the world does not rest on your shoulders. At least not on yours alone. Coming from me, it may sound crazy, but here goes: you have to let people in, you can't withdraw into yourself. Let others help. You should be grateful that they care enough to want to, rather than pushing them away.
For the sake of my reputation and our relationship: at least try to follow the rules. They're there to protect you, not to hold you back.

'Lucius Malfoy. Anything I could have given you – I already have. What could friends offer each other in the face of death that they had not given before? Whenever you needed me, I was there for you – just like you were always there for me. Slytherin loyalty and honour. Only true Slytherins know such terms exist.

'Dear friend, we joined the Dark Lord's service together and yet that is where our ways parted. And yet I feel no regret. We have managed to remain friends in spite of our opposing political views. Let me rephrase that. My political views have remained unaltered. I couldn't tolerate the means our Master started using. Maybe not only that. I have always been an individual who tended to have his own judgment and hold his own counsel. Each word He uttered, I questioned and analysed – unlike you, dear Lucius. He is a madman. If He can even be called a man. He seeks nothing more than power and immortality for Himself and Himself alone. Have you ever looked straight into those blood-red eyes? I daresay you have not, Lucius. Or else you would have long ago turned your back on Him. He is a coward. He fears death and He is weak. Not in the sense of His magic. He is strong, He is powerful. Yet where does He draw His strength from? He draws power from the sight of defenceless Muggles or children being tortured and killed at His bidding. Someone with true power does not need endless reassurance, Lucius. Albus Dumbledore does not need to instil fear in people for the whole magical world to show him respect and hold him as the Dark Lord's equal or even as a wizard surpassing His power. The Dark Lord doesn't give a damn about pure-blooded families dying out, about magic being a recessive gene… Surely you must see that by now?

It is too late for you to change your views, much less your ways. And yet you knew I had been a spy and you suspected that I still was a double agent. Thank you for keeping your doubts to yourself rather than sharing them with the Dark Lord or other Death Eaters.

'You have granted me a great honour by asking me to be Draco's godfather. That is why I wish to ask… no… I beg you… I beg you to give the boy a chance to decide for himself. I assure you, I haven't poisoned his mind, I haven't brainwashed him. May the choice be his. It shall affect his entire life, after all. The Dark Mark is a curse that never ceases to burn and haunt. I may have turned my back on the Dark, but I could hardly turn my back on something that was… is engraved into my skin, my soul. No matter what I did, the world always judged me, and always will judge me, by that disgusting Mark on my left forearm. As it will you. Don't sentence your own son to this life. Should he join just to please you, he is likely to follow my footsteps. Should he join because he truly wishes to do so… Well, just remember this, my friend, and tell him this as well: I did not die as a traitor, I died as a loyal slave who happened to look at his Master in a way that displeased Him.
Mind that Draco is proud and has yet to learn to hold his tongue.

'It is a huge relief to me that I will not have to join the final battle. Once our eyes met across the field, we would fight to the death, I now this for a fact, and yet there would be no victory and no triumph – there cannot be between brothers.

'I will endeavour to cool a place in Hell for you, Lucius.

'To my godson, Draco Malfoy, I give half of the money that rests in my vault at Gringott's (something near 2.5 billion Galleons).

Draco, my only wish is for you to remember everything I have told you. I hope you find your way in life. Whatever it may be, I just want you to be happy. Don't make decisions rashly nor blindly. Once you make your choice, be sure that you are being true to yourself. It's not me or Lucius that will have to live with the repercussions. Remember, and I speak from experience, one wrong turn can ruin your entire life and the worst thing is that you will have to live with yourself after that.

Contrary to your beliefs, all is not yet lost and hope is not vain, Draco.

'The rest of my fortune in gold, along with the real estates and the "Oh so noble and grand" (please note the sarcasm) Snape Manor, I offer to Molly and Arthur Weasley.

'Molly, my fellow Slytherin. Do your own children even know that? Rather unlikely. Is it really such a shame? Is it really such a dark secret? Why, Molly? Why, Arthur? Isn't Molly Weasley a prime example of how wrong people can be when their judgment is based on foolish prejudice? Isn't she a good, loving mother? A kind woman? Isn't she a member of the Order?
Why hide, Molly? Slytherin is who you are.
Recently you have begun to show me some more kindness. You almost acted as though you knew me from our schooldays. Far be it from what we have once shared. Dare I call it a friendship? Definitely. At least after you graduated. Of course, when you were helping a lost, frightened eleven year old boy find his way to Platform 9¾ and then when you were helping him settle in at Hogwarts and in the Den, our relationship was more a mother-son one, wasn't it? I was forever grateful for that, Molly. You know why, so I need not elaborate. Alas, things change. I'm sorry if I disappointed you. No. I know I did, so there is no "if".
I hope you might find use for that Manor of mine. No hard feelings if you tear the place down, of course. I know I have no right to ask anything of you, Molly and Arthur, but I will risk it. Could you keep my house-elf? Even if you decide not to keep the house itself. Zira is a good elf. One of her more recommending traits is her ability to use English without abusing it. An amazing feat, I assure you. Consider yourselves warned, she is quite used to her status as a free elf and it would be appreciated if you allowed her to maintain it. She's got nowhere to go, but if there's anyone with whom she'd stay out of good will – it's definitely you.

'Best wishes for the future!

'I've been working on improving the Wolfsbane Potion. I got to a stage where there are only three ways to go. I believe there's a 90 percent chance that it will work. One of the three options that is. I hope it does, Remus Lupin, for your sake. I'm not being cocky or anything, but I believe that right now there is no Potions Master who will be able to help you if it fails. You'll just have to wait for Miss Granger, if she finds the desire to pursue her impressive skills in potion making. It will take time, though. Once again, I'm not being cocky, but you don't become a Potions Master just like that – brilliant mind or not, Miss Granger. Until then, dear werewolf, you are free to use the original formula. I've managed to simplify it. You still won't be able to brew it yourself, but Harry will. Not that I'm admitting the boy has any skill whatsoever. All I'm saying is that you've always been hopeless. As long as Harry concentrates on his brewing rather than hating my guts and glaring at me – I'm sure he'll do fine.
Oh and by the way, Lupin: I knew you weren't in on that prank. You couldn't have expected me to admit it though, now could you?

'Last but not least, dear Albus. I placed all my trust and my hope in you. I gave you my loyalty, my service and, in the end, my life. I am eternally grateful for everything you have done for me and painfully aware that I didn't deserve any of it. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you. I'm sorry for being the reason other people began questioning your judgment. I'm sorry for being such a disappointment. I only wish you didn't blame yourself for that. It wasn't your fault Albus. It was mine and mine alone. James and Sirius were right, so please don't blame yourself or find excuses for me.
You were like the father I never had and you have done more for me than anyone else. There were things I denied you, there were questions I left unanswered. I will answer one of those, but only so that you can see for yourself how weak and worthless I truly was. You know why I sulked in the dungeons year after year? Why I applied for that Defence Against the Dark Arts position year after year? You see, I may have known that I did not deserve a second chance, forgiveness or your trust, but I still yearned for it. Every time you gave the position to someone else it was like a slap in my face. I was aware that I'd earned it, but it hurt.
I grew even more bitter and angrier than before. I was never angry at you, Headmaster, I was only angry with myself. It was a stupid thing to demand of you. I should have been satisfied with what trust you did place in me… I mean, if you trusted me during the war, then what more could I ask? That's all that should have mattered to me – not a public statement.

I can't say how much I regret that I won't be able to provide information for the Order anymore. Maybe it's just as well that I wasn't found out, but rather just killed outright. I would hardly be of any use to you or the Order if that happened and then… well… It's better this way, though I was hoping for something at least slightly more glamorous. Dying in a battle would have been nice… Oh well, you'd probably like to know exactly what happened at that Death Eater meeting. Like I told Lucius, I looked at that snake-faced bastard with a tad of disgust. Funny. I handled potion ingredients that were truly disgusting on a daily basis, but there's something about that slimy skeleton body… I already had a rough day, as I reported, and I hate it when people intrude on my personal space. A pitiful way to end my spying career, I know, but when that snake started whispering in my ear and touched a bony finger to my face I must have flinched or my disgust may have shown in my eyes for a moment. Voldemort's crazy. I'm not the first one to end up with the Haemorrhagia Intra Curse for something like this. I'm really sorry, I was tired and obviously wasn't in total control. I should have stayed focused. I failed to mention it last night because I didn't see any reason to. The Curse has no cure anyway so why be a bother. That's to the Order, as for you, I wanted to spare you as much worry and concern as I could.

Look on the bright side, Lord Snake may finish at least some of his Death Eaters off if he keeps this up.

'Take care of yourself, Albus and good luck with the war!'

Professor Dumbledore paused. Everyone was lost in their own thoughts and most were staring at the tabletop as if terribly ashamed and weighed down. Mrs Weasley had tears in her eyes. She bowed her head even more while her husband pulled her closer to him. Mr Weasley had been trying to comfort his wife in vain ever since Professor Snape's voice had announced the Potions Master's untimely death. His face was filled with guilt and sorrow just as was Molly's.

Harry sat in his chair in utter confusion and disbelief. Professor Snape's death had come as a shock to him, but the part of the letter that was addressed to him was completely beyond his comprehension.

"He knew. Last night he knew he was going to die and he didn't even bother telling anyone." Moody growled. "Some spy he was. Leaving out information like this."

"Alastor!" Dumbledore's eyes flared with outrage. All the witches and wizards jumped in their seats.

The old Auror met the Headmaster's gaze, but guiltily averted his eyes. He shouldn't have said that. He knew it. The young Slytherin had proven himself over and over again. Moody, however, couldn't bring himself to fully trust the boy. He'd been his mentor when Snape was training to become an Auror and the knowledge that the younger wizard had been a Death Eater and then Dumbledore's spy had come as a shock. He'd always been rather eccentric and a loner himself and that he'd bothered to make an effort to befriend the reclusive boy spoke volumes of his high esteem for the lad. Alastor still bore a strong feeling of betrayal. Now that he thought about it though, he couldn't say that he blamed Severus for keeping him in the dark. Not with a clear conscience. The boy had apparently joined the Dark Lord before graduating – in his seventh year – and he'd already turned back to the Light by the time he joined the Aurors. Moreover, Snape hadn't known the names of most members of the Order at the time. If he'd shown Alastor his Mark, the older Auror would have undoubtedly thrown him in Azkaban – friend and protégé or not. How could the boy have defended himself if he hadn't known that Mad-Eye belonged to Dumbledore's Order?

"I know you and Severus have had issues that were never really resolved, but you have no right to speak of him this way." Albus spoke sternly. There was so much pain in his eyes and sadness so great, that the old warlock suddenly looked the age he truly was.

Moody didn't answer. Usually he wouldn't have answered out of stubbornness and pride – now he was lost in thought.

"Why didn't he say anything, Professor?" Tonks ventured quietly.

"My guess is as good as anyone's, Miss Tonks, though I believe we all have our suspicions." The Headmaster's voice was rough and he cleared his throat. "There's more. Perhaps there is an explanation as well."

'It was long, I know, but I didn't feel like sitting around brooding or sleeping. There is an upside to this whole waiting, you know. It helps put things into perspective.

'There are many things concerning the Order of the Phoenix and its members that I often wished to say out loud. Unfortunately, the vain hope that I could earn your trust and perhaps some respect always held me back – not anymore, though.

'Dear everyone, with the exception of the aforementioned people (even if their name is only mentioned briefly), there is one thing that comes to mind first when I think about this being my goodbye to the Order's official and unofficial members: FUCK YOU!
I'm sorry, but try as I might, I couldn't find a more suitable phrase.

'You say that pure-bloods (a.k.a. Death Eaters in your eyes) are: prejudiced, cruel, unreasonable, inconsiderate, arrogant etc. etc. etc. Let me tell you something – as much as I respect you, you are not so different from them as you'd like to think. Why?

'1. You judge pure-blooded wizards as harshly as Voldemort's supporters judge Muggles, Muggleborns and Half-bloods. What right does the Almighty Order of the Phoenix have to condemn on such grounds? Pure-blooded does not equal Death Eater or even future Death Eater. Whether you like it or not, you owe a lot to these ancient families. If not for them, where would the wizarding world be now? The war is against Voldemort and His followers, not against wizards of certain bloodlines. You cannot dismiss the achievements of old wizard families. They are all related to each other and thus related to wizards such as the Founders, Morgana and even Merlin himself.

'Lord Voldemort is a Half-blood and yet He has devoted His entire life to ridding the world of His own kind as well Muggles and Muggle-borns.

'You are hypocritical. You say you fight against Him and the crazy prejudice He spreads. Okay. But honestly, aren't you just as prejudiced yourselves? All of you consider the House of Slytherin as the source and stronghold of evil. Every innocent, eleven year old child to be sorted into my House was always viewed as the Devil incarnate or the next Dark Lord. I'm not sure if you are being deliberately obtuse or perhaps you truly don't see what your actions can – and already are – leading to.

'With Voldemort back, Slytherins need your acceptance more than ever. You can't just abandon them. Even students such as Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle aren't sure whether they want to follow in their fathers' footsteps. Crabbe and Goyle are imbeciles, there's no subtle way of putting it. If not for Draco, they would already be Marked. There's not much hope for them because they couldn't think for themselves if their lives depended on it, but Malfoy can be swayed.

'The entire Order has been preaching me about how I shouldn't treat Harry poorly just because I hated his father. My response: look in a mirror. In regard to Draco, I'm biased so may he be excluded, but you judge all the other kids by their families or just by their belonging to Slytherin. You give everyone else a chance to prove themselves, be fair, they deserve a chance too.

'You could not possibly understand what it's like to be in Salazar's House unless you are Slytherin. If you don't believe me, ask Molly. It's not as black and white as you would like it to be.

'Something has to be done and fast to bring Slytherin closer to Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. While Umbridge helped the other three Houses and the staff to unite, she also managed to make the rift between Slytherin and the rest of the school greater than ever before. Right now I know that my students are very confused. They need guidance. Truth be told, they needed it from an outside source long before now. My duties as a double agent made it rather impossible for me to fill that role properly. I needed all the cunning I could spare to at least make them feel insecure enough to wait and ask questions. Someone needs to point them in the right direction or they'll all join Voldemort either out of bitterness or lack of options. Don't get me wrong, some of them truly believe Him to be the most powerful wizard of all time and think serving Him is the greatest possible honour, but what more can be expected from Death Eater children or kids who have no idea of what this war is really about?

'Pure-blooded families in general and Death Eater families in particular are far from being peaceful households filled with love and affection. Children coming from such homes need a place to belong, they desperately want to fit in and be accepted. Their House and housemates usually provide them with the surrogate family they desire. There's one cardinal rule in Slytherin: What happens in the Den, stays in the Den. Parental influence aside, that alone keeps the students from mingling with others. If you continue to incriminate and alienate Slytherins just for being who they are, I'm afraid Voldemort will indeed gain an army out of them. Cunning, ambitious, slippery, sarcastic, evil – whatever you call us, Slytherins stick together. Personally, I would do all in my power to mend fences if I were you. When they turn to the Dark Lord, they will do it as one. The Light cannot afford the loss.

'2. The use of Unforgivables and torture has always been abused by the Ministry. Even before it was legalised, the law was being constantly manipulated to suit the purposes of influential wizards such as Lucius Malfoy or overambitious Ministry officials such as Bartemius Crouch. As a Death Eater, I used both and not always with hesitation. The point is that, due to my position, I could , or had to use them. You, on the other hand, under no circumstances should degrade yourselves like that. If someone joins Voldemort, they can't have high moral standards… or rather they shouldn't have them at all and definitely not for show. Thankfully, I have given up hope of having a clear conscience nearly two decades ago, but I have a feeling that you haven't. Knowing that you have sinned beyond the possibility of redemption hardly means that you should continue, nonetheless, I suppose it does put a dent in your enthusiasm. That was my excuse when I was fighting for the Light, when I was fighting for the Dark – I convinced myself that it was for a good cause, that I had to remain at Voldemort's side for as long as I could in order to help the Light win this war. Niccolo Macchiavelli's idea of politics may have merit on the large scale, but it's a lot more complicated when you actually have to choose between a greater and a smaller evil on the spot on a daily basis. It's easier to be the prince commanding the lions and foxes and more so being the lion than it is being the fox. Each of these decisions has a troublesome tendency to haunt ceaselessly, just as the face of the victim you cast an Unforgivable upon or like the eyes of a tortured person that plague your dreams. No excuses are truly valid when it comes to your conscience. You can find reasonable and logical excuses, you can even convince yourself that they are rightful, but in mind only I am afraid.

'This is yet another warning. Be wary. You are currently following a path that will cause your gradual descend into darkness. Believe me, I've been there myself. You're the Order of the Phoenix so don't sink to Voldemort's level.

'3. Like I said before, you accuse the Dark Lord of being prejudiced and narrow-minded. While His true reasons for discriminating (or rather exterminating) witches and wizards not of pure-blooded lineage are unreasonable and quite pitiful, most Death Eaters join His ranks due to their ideals. Have any of you heard about genetics? It's a Muggle thing and it's only been quite recently that they made some very interesting discoveries with it. Thanks to their latest technology and new methods, I was able to determine, once and for all, what the wizarding world has feared for centuries. Magic is a recessive gene, which translates to it being weaker than the inability to use magic. There are three types of genes that determine whether or not a person will be able to perform magic. Everyone possesses a pair of each of these genes. I've hidden my research from Voldemort, naturally, but during a surprise visit, Lucius found out about it. I explained it to him, but he is sworn to secrecy. Of course, there's some Dark Magic involved in that promise, so you have nothing to fear. He is bound by both his honour and a variety of spells not to reveal the secret even now that I am dead. As it was that I was still courting Voldemort's trust at that time, I'd told Lucius that I wasn't finished with the research anyway.

'I'm afraid the papers are charmed and it might take a while to actually find them. Sorry, I wouldn't have been able to get home even if I tried. I will give you a condensed version of the results.

"D" will stand for dominant and it means a gene without magical ability

"r" will stand for the recessive gene of magical ability

Possible genetic combinations in regard to magic:

Muggle:

Muggle – with great insight, a sixth sense or a Squib:

Wizard – every pure-blood and some lucky Half-bloods:

Wizard – average one:

Wizard – with weak powers, possible enhancement of Seer abilities (varies depending on which pair of genes is "DD"):

'These results are somewhat different from what could be expected after reading what Muggles have discovered of genetics. It's merely because we're dealing with magic here and not hair colour. Magic can bend the rules a little.

'These are facts and you would do well to accept them. I've also been struggling to find a means to resolve this problem. I already know that there are no spells or charms, Light or Dark, that could be of use. I managed to concoct a potion that lessens the chances of conceiving a Squib by 20-60 percent (in each possible instance and the effectiveness depends solely on the individuals involved). It's not perfect, but at least it's something to placate purebloods with.

'Anyway, at least you can see for yourselves that the pureblood mantra does have some merit. They fear the decreasing numbers of wizardborns and they don't appreciate the changes in our culture. Muggle influence is growing stronger and it concerns politics, clothing… to put it bluntly, there's Muggle influence everywhere in our world nowadays. Sometimes it is a good thing, but not always.

'4. I'm not the first person to point out this particular flaw in our society: the treatment of house-elves and half-breeds. There's no need to elaborate really. You all know Lupin and Hagrid and some others as well. While you treat your friends justly and not based on what they are, that tolerance does not stretch so far as to include strangers who are in the same condition. And most of you who have wealth enough, keep house-elves. My own house-elf remained with me out of choice, because she was freed right after the death of my father (may he rot in Hell). So, despite always expressing views to the contrary, I actually did something to promote an equal status for other races.

'Well, I guess that covers it. I don't think there's much more I could say to you. Writing this letter was probably rather foolish and undoubtedly pointless, but it's not like I'm going to be there to suffer from it. I hope you can put aside your hatred of my person and give some thought to all this. I never really was one of you and I chose not to be one of my own kind, so my judgment is fairly objective. This letter is free of most of the bitterness and cynicism with which I'd come to regard the world. It could prove useful.

'With that same spirit, I wish all of you the best of luck, I'd ask you to forget about me, but that's hardly necessary. Goodbye then.'

Signed,

Severus Snape

A/N

Reviews are very welcome! It's my first fic (first posted one at least) and I don't think it's very good, but I had to start somewhere. I'm working on a Sirius… serious one (though Sirius is going to be there) that's going to be veeery long. Hopefully it'll turn out better than this. English isn't my first language so there's another reason for you to be kind ;)

I'm not sure whether I should continue or leave this one as it is. Initially, it wasn't supposed to be one-shot. What do you think?

Haemorrhagia – bleeding

Intra – internal, inside

At least that's where my curse came from. I need to look some things up and perhaps change it. I should ask my teacher how to say this correctly. Not that it's really that relevant. If I decide to write more of this story, I'll give more details about this curse, though I suppose everyone has a fair idea of what it does… poor Severus.