Stupid Slytherins with Stupider Smirks

Summary: Of course, Hermione always gave her books back to the library on time. Never once has she been bested on a test. One day she gets a letter: a reminder notice. On top of that, she's beaten on a surprise quiz! What does a certain Slytherin have to do with this?

Disclaimer: If I owned any of the characters, I would be living in a mansion throwing chocolate at pedestrians walking by my house. But since I love chocolate, and I don't live in a mansion, all characters and places belong to the respected J.K. Rowling.

Stupid Sardonic Silly Sabotaging Sadistic Sagacious Saprophyte Sarcastic Satanic Sexy Stupid Slytherins…

"No. Definitely not, no way! This can't be happening!" Hermione looked at the letter that one of the school owls had brought her with a look of utmost horror upon her face.

"What's wrong Hermione?" asked Ron from across the table, his mouth full of treacle tart. Hermione handed him the letter with shaking hands.

Dear Miss Granger,

This is just a reminder to inform you that the book that you checked out, "A Genius's Guide to Transfiguration," by Lappet Doge was due on May 11th. I certainly hope to see it soon.

Hoping you are well;

M. Pince

Ron read the letter and looked up at her, "I don't see why you're so upset. I've got about a thousand of these," he said. He read the letter again to see if he was missing anything. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Neville edge away subtly.

"Don't see why I am so upset?!" Hermione demanded through clenched teeth. She stood up haughtily. "Ronald Bilius Weasley, my reputation has been tarnished! I have a late book… I probably will never trust myself with a library book again," her voice sounded distinctly faint. "Madame Pince has taken the liberty of writing me a reminder notice and you're asking me why I'm distressed?" By this point, her furious tone had returned and she was towering over the redhead, attracting quite a lot of stares.

"No Ma'am," whispered Ron weakly, leaning back in his chair with his eyes wide. Neville was watching the scene with trembling knees. When Hermione drew her wand, he ran out of the Great Hall entirely.

"Hermione, you don't have anything to worry about, these sorts of things don't really matter," Harry interrupted hastily, concerned with the safety of his rather thick-headed mate. "They don't even go on your permanent record." Harry said, with an innocent hint of amusement in his voice.

Hermione sat back down slowly. "That's what they want us to think," she muttered in a dark voice.

If Hermione thought she was having a bad morning, she was definitely having a dreadful afternoon. Blaise Zabini beat her on the idiotic surprise potions quiz. Really, what difference did it make if the wolfsbane potion could go bad if it was left with a status charm on it for more than two full moons? She then decided she hated him. Officially.

"Damn that Zabini," she grumbled loudly as she walked down the empty third floor corridor, tardy book in hand. She had decided to sort things out with Madame Pince… After all, she couldn't let the librarian think she was irresponsible.

Lost in her thoughts, Hermione tripped over a quill that someone dropped and bumped into someone. The someone lurched unsteadily, then grabbed onto her robes to secure himself. This proved to be useless, as she wasn't much of a sturdy pole. Both lost their balance, and she fell down on top of him.

"Eeek!" Hermione said in surprise. She found herself on level with bright blue eyes, which were blinking at her hypnotizingly. His blue eyes. Oh, how she hated him.

"Um, Granger, as much as I appreciate girls declaring their endless love for the handsome, charismatic, charming old me, I think jumping me might be going a bit far." Blaise Zabini said quietly.

"I- I didn't- I never jumped you!" Hermione stated indignantly. "You--"

"Merlin, I didn't know anyone's face could go such an interesting shade of red…"

"What?! Zabini, you- argh!"

"I am assuming that under regular circumstances, you are able to form appropriate sentences."

Deep breath. "Okay. Just shut up. Now."

"Err, alright, but I was just curious as to whether you're ever planning to get off of me. You know, people might presume things. I do have a reputation as a Slytherin."

Hermione blushed and stood up clumsily.

"Returning your book are you?" Zabini asked with a smirk on his face as he got up elegantly, not at all affected by the fall or their rather disturbing conversation. She crossed her arms and glared him for daring to ask her another question.

Blaise shrugged in a nonchalant manner at her discouraging response. "Well, good day to you too."

"You should never argue with an idiot, Hermione, they drag you down to their level." Hermione murmured to herself. She continued glaring at his back as he strutted away. Oh, how she despised him.

She entered the library and found Madame Pince shelving books in a corner, and immediately wondered why Madame Pince wasn't using magic to shelve them. Ignoring that thought, she half-walked, half-ran to the librarian.

"Madame Pince." the librarian looked up from the book she was holding and gazed at Hermione absently.

"Hello, Miss Granger. Ahh, I see you have the book."

"Um, yes, and I would like to say that I am really sorry for bringing it in late, I would have brought it in earlier but it just slipped out of my mind, I honestly don't know what got into me. I know they're little mistakes like this that turn a person horrible and forgetful," Hermione ranted, then gasped in realization. "What if I'm turning into a – a – a Ron!?" She covered her mouth with her hand.

Now, now, it's all right dear." Madame Pince patted Hermione on her shoulder comfortingly. "Things tend to slip out of our minds. I probably wouldn't have even remembered to send you your reminder notice if Mr. Zabini hadn't reminded me." Hermione's left eye twitched.

"Blaise Zabini?" Her hands balled into fists as he smirked at her from a nearby table, having followed her discreetly into the library. Oh, how she loathed him.

"Yes, yes, that very one. Oh, let me check that in for you." Madame Pince took the book from her. The un-shelved books lay forgotten on the trolley.

Hermione marched over to where Zabini was sitting. "How did you know when my book was due when I myself had forgotten?" Blaise opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by Hermione, who seemed to be raving. "How did you score above me on the potions quiz? How do you act so unaffected after falling down so hard? How do you smirk your stupid smirk and make it look so perfect?-" She stopped, having said it all in one breath.

"I've liked you since the beginning of the year," the Italian answered. It was calm. Too calm. Hermione's eyes narrowed and he decided to expound. "I knew your book's due date because I came to the library every day to watch you. I've always been able to remember the tiniest detail. I studied until I fell asleep because I didn't seem to catch your attention from coming to the library, and what better way to do so then to beat your arse on a quiz? I walk and smirk perfectly because – well there's no explanation – I just do."

Silence. All he received after his sort-of confession was silence.

"I've heard enough of crickets chirping, Granger. I want you to come to Hogsmeade with me this Saturday."

One Second.

Two seconds.

"No," Hermione smirked evilly and Blaise raised an eyebrow in question. "Ask me tomorrow when I'm in a better mood and I might actually say 'yes.'" And she turned around and walked away.

Zabini sighed pensively, unaffected by her rejection as he leaned back in his chair. He was going to have fun in Hogsmeade on Saturday. Oh yes, he was.

The End

A1: Author 2 gets all credit, but for editing. That part will always be mine. Mwahahahaha!

A2: First of all, a BIG hug to Author#1 for editing this story. Con-Crit welcome. Please review! Thanks for reading. :)