Disclaimer: I do not own CCFF7 or any of that stuff.
Warning: complete and utter crack. Insinuations of yaoi. Hilarity.
Author's Note: I've been meaning to write this for a while. Sorry it took so long Chaos?
THE SUMMON FROM ANGEAL'S PANTS
The cadet program was insufferably boring. Constantly they were being coddled over as if they were infants, not soon to be SOLDIERs, but that was ShinRa's protocol, and there was no sly way to slip through it. Every cadet had to go through the same training, potential star or no.
That was how Genesis had been stuck here for so long, so bored that he had nearly memorized all of LOVELESS and he was quite certain Angeal, as patient as he was, had grown far past tired of hearing him read it aloud. To each their own. Genesis loved his voice, and he wasn't about to stop until he could get the whole epic poem out without a single awkward pause.
Whether or not Angeal killed himself first was an entirely different matter.
Letting out a long yawn, Genesis stretched, feeling his forming muscles strain under his plain, boring uniform. The clothing was worse than the long stretches of time when he had absolutely nothing to do. Somehow he had managed to keep his earring, its dangling as a loud statement from his right ear, but beyond that, he was in ShinRa's cage, and would be for a long while. Most SOLDIERs never even made it to the rank of First Class. Thankfully, he wasn't most SOLDIERs.
Angeal jolted, eyes flying open. He frowned for a moment and then stood up rapidly, linking his hands behind his back as he started to pace. It was a very futile attempt to hide the fact that he had dozed off. Genesis' bright blue eyes narrowed, following Angeal's every movement, trailing down his friend's strong frame.
His mako enhanced gaze locked on an irregularity, perhaps the results of his quick snooze, a bulge in the front of Angeal's pants.
A devious smile coiled on to Genesis' mouth as he stood, gracefully, stepping into the path of his pacing friend. Angeal stopped, blinking a few times. His black brows drew in, confusion painting his features.
It was time for revenge.
"What is that bulge in your pants, Angeal?" Genesis purred, thrusting his hand into his friend's pocket before any answer or protest could be mounted, eyes remaining locked on Angeal's face. A deep blush was Angeal's first reaction, followed by him stammering something incoherent. Genesis really didn't care what Angeal's excuse would be, anyway.
His fingers wrapped around a ball, smooth, pulsing with energy, and most disappointingly, the source of the bulge. Genesis ran his fingers caressingly over the cool orb, humming to hide the fact that he had really been hoping the bulge would be something else, something fleshy and hot.
"I wonder what this is." Genesis breathed his words into Angeal's ear. The raven haired teen was standing completely still, like a statue, afraid to move at all for some reason or another. Yes, Genesis had a bad temper, but surely it didn't merit that sort of reaction? Genesis closed his eyes, stopping himself from rolling them with that action. Leave it to Angeal to ruin his fun.
Genesis pulled the ball out from Angeal's pocket, turning immediately to face away from him, holding the thing at eye level to inspect it. Materia. Suddenly his interest was back again, full force, as he rolled the ball in his hand, between his fingers, getting familiar with it. It was a summon materia, but felt different for some reason.
"Do you mind if I play with it?" Genesis spun around with a wide grin, mischievous glint in his eyes. Angeal was blushing deeper now, as if he knew exactly what his friend was thinking about. Oh, if only. Genesis would have been all over Angeal back in Banora if his raven haired friend hadn't been so up tight and straight laced. That was the most frustrating part about their friendship. Genesis would spread his legs for him in an instant.
"Go for it." The words were croaked out, barely. Angeal looked petrified. What could he be hiding?
Genesis walked swiftly to the far end of the tiny room, clearing a miniscule space for the summon, whatever it was. Thinking of the size of most summons, the act was practically worthless. Genesis wasn't thinking though, raising his hand, calling on the power inside the materia.
What came out totally wasn't what he was expecting.
A girl—young woman, whatever—was standing there, black hair somewhat disheveled, a notebook and pen in her hand. She did not seem to notice at first, until Genesis cleared his throat, cocking a crimson brow at her.
"Who are you and what were you doing in Angeal's pants?" Genesis' voice, normally flourishing, melodramatic, was flat for once. He did not like the idea of a girl, summon or no, being in his friend's pants. That was his conquest, after all.
Genesis knew he should have been worried when a delighted, devilish smile to match one of his own pulled on her face. What was that look in her black eyes? "I'm Chaos. And you just interrupted this great fic. How am I supposed to concentrate with the two of you in a bedroom together!?"
Angeal sounded like he was choking. On what, Genesis did not know, nor did he really care. "Pardon?"
"Actually, can you two act this out for me? It would really help." Chaos batted her eyelashes, holding out the notebook.
With a swipe, Genesis took it, eyes quickly scanning over the hand written piece of prose. He himself almost choked when he got halfway down the page. "This, ah, fic of yours—"
"Yes?"
"Why am I in fishnet and why is Sephiroth pulling out a bottle of lubricant?"
Angeal actually fainted as the contents of the 'fic' were spilled for them to know. Genesis handed her back the notebook with a devious grin of his own. "And why wasn't I here for this? Do you have any finished pieces?"
"Only if you let me watch when it actually happens."
It took a moment—ok, closer to half a moment—to consider before Genesis offered his hand forward to shake. The easy part would be getting her into the room. She could fit neatly in a materia orb, set on a bedside table for a sideline view. The hard part would be seducing Sephiroth. "You have a deal."