Faces of the Heart

Chapter: 1

Paring: Robert and Holly

Rating: PG

~Townhouse December 1995~

"Tiffany?" Holly called out from the bedroom. "Can you bring up the box of pins from on the desk in my office?"

"Sure." she replied. "Give me just a moment."

Tiffany walked through the living room to what used to be the communications room and retrieved the box of stick pins from the desk, accidentally knocking a few file folders to the floor. "Damn." she cursed as she bent down to pick them up. She placed the folders back down where Holly had them, but something caught her eye. In between the two folders was a picture. And not just any picture, but a picture of Robert. Tiffany smiled sadly and tucked the photo back into place. Holly had told her that Robert was the love of her life and she would never find that kind of love again and perhaps she was right.

"Here are the pins." Tiffany said, handing them to the seamstress. "I'm starting to think that you need to eat more meat and potatoes. It seems like every time we do a fitting you need more pins stuck in your dress."

"They fall out." Holly insisted. "If it's anything I've gained weight testing out all those wedding cakes. Robin and I ate seven samples last night. By the wedding day I'm going to be so sick of cake I'm not going to want to eat it."

"What is your opinion, Beth?" Tiffany asked the seamstress. "Is she losing it or gaining it?"

"Now, now." Beth laughed. "This is between the two of you."

"Thank you, Beth." Holly smiled triumphantly. "At least I still have one person on my side."

"Two." Bobbie said, coming into the bedroom. "I'm always on your side. I'm so sorry I'm late, I got held up at the hospital."

"That's alright." Holly said. "As soon as we're done here were going to head over to the Versailles room and getting something to eat."

"Just a few more pins and we'll be done." Beth announced. "This is the final fitting so if anything feels uncomfortable you should tell me now."

"Everything feels fine." Holly assured her. "Perfect in fact. You've done a wonderful job."

Beth smiled. "Thank you." she said. "I knew this dress had to be special, after all you are having the wedding of the year."

Tiffany nodded in agreement. "Grand and elaborate."

Holly waved them off. "It's not that elaborate and as for grand..."

Bobbie laughed. "Now is not the time to be humble and modest, Holly." she told her. "You're having the wedding to end all weddings."

She gathered her wedding dress and stepped down off the platform. "I suppose on some levels you're correct." she said. "But not all."

"Darling, you look absolutely stunning." Tiffany told her. "You're going to knock your groom right off of his feet."

"Indeed you are." Bobbie agreed. "The dress is perfect."

Holly smiled, warmly. "Thank you."

"Bobbie." Beth said. "If you want to come into the Robin's bedroom I'll do your final fitting."

"Okay." she agreed. "And then we're off to dinner."

Bobbie and Beth slipped out of the master bedroom and across the hallway into Robin's bedroom. Tiffany walked over and closed the door behind them. She watched as Holly checked her reflection in the mirror, carefully and precisely as though her life depended on the perfect wedding. "Do you want to talk about what's wrong here or do you just want to keep ignoring it?" she asked. "Because I really don't think you're going to be able to go on like this for very much longer."

Holly looked up, her eyes meeting Tiffany's in the mirror. "I don't want to talk about it." she said. "There's nothing to talk about. I'm fine. Everything is fine."

"Holly." she said, softly. "I found Robert's picture in your office."

She closed her eyes tightly. "I got it out for Robin." she said. "I also got one out of Anna."

"The only picture in your office was the one of Robert." she pointed out. "It was almost as if you were hiding it. It was stuffed between two folders."

"Can we not talk about this, Tiffany?" she asked, almost pleaded. "This isn't really something I can deal with right now."

"Okay." she exhaled. "Is this something you intend to deal with after your married? Do you intend to have three people in your marriage even though one of them is a ghost?"

"Okay, I think about Robert." she replied, turning around to face her friend. "I do, I'm not going to lie about that. It's just that as of late I've been thinking about him more and more and I need to see something real. I got out an old photo album and all the pictures of us together were just too much, I didn't get past the second page so I slipped out the solo picture of him. I just need something to..."

"Holly, it's okay." she assured her. "I didn't mean to press the issue. I just hate seeing you like this. You seemed to be on cloud nine but there's something in your eyes, something that shouldn't be in a bride to be's eyes."

"I don't know what to do, Tiffany." she finally confessed. "I feel like Robert's with me now more than he's ever been in the past few years. It's a really good feeling and I don't want to let it go."

"Oh, darling." she sighed. "You don't have to let it go. What you and Robert had was a love that comes along once in a lifetime. It's never going to be something that you get over or forget. It just has to be something that you can live with. Something your new husband can live with."

"I feel like I'm drowning." she told her, tears spilling down her face. "It's like all of the sudden this wave of grief has washed over me and I can't for the life of me swim my way out of it."

"Do you and Robin talk about Robert?" Tiffany asked. "Or Anna?"

"On occasion, but the times are few and far between." she replied. "I don't like to bring up the subject a lot with Robin. Sometimes I find myself biting my tongue when she does something that reminds me of Robert. I want to say the words so badly, but I always end up stopping myself."

"I don't think it's Robin that you're worried about." she told her, handing her a tissue from off the vanity. "I think it's you. You don't think you can handle the constant reminder of him so you just shut it off."

"I don't know what it is." she sniffed and tried her best to dry her eyes. "All I know is that I'm getting married in six days and I need to get these feelings under control."

"I think you just need to relax." she replied. "I think you just need to take a day for yourself and feel all of those things that you've been pushing away. Because if you don't, Holly, your new marriage isn't going to stand a chance."

There was a soft knock on the door. "Mom?" Robin called out as she pushed the bedroom door open. "Wow, you look amazing."

Holly smiled at her daughter, trying to hide her sadness. "Thank you, darling."

"Grant just called he said that he and Sean are on their way to the Versailles room now."

Tiffany looked over at her goddaughter. "Your mom and I are going to get changed and then we'll go, okay?"

Robin gave the both a confused look. "Is there something wrong?"

Holly shook her head. "No." she replied. "Everything's fine."

"Everything doesn't seem fine." Robin observed.

Tiffany wrapped her arm around Holly's shoulders. "It's just a little pre-wedding jitters." she tried to assure her. "It happens to the best of us."

Robin didn't quite believe the explanation, but she didn't want to press the subject at the moment. Although she had a pretty good feeling what was wrong. How could her mother not think of her father? She knew it was impossible. "Okay." she agreed. "I'll be waiting downstairs."

It was a cold December, colder than he ever remembered Port Charles being. He shivered once and wrapped his coat more tightly around his body. Although he wasn't sure if it was the night air that chilled him to the bone or something else lingering in the air. He started to walk. Crisp, white, dry snow crunched under the soles of his shoes as he made his way up the long, dark alley and to the side entrance of the townhouse.

It had been years since he had last stood at this door. Too many years, but the memories were still as vivid as ever. He could see Holly perfectly in his mind. It was Christmas 1984 and the house was full of people and love and food and gifts. Holly the hostess attending to everyone's needs, glowing with happiness. It was those memories that kept him going. That and the possibility of re-creating such happiness.

As Robert went to turn pick the lock he heard the mingling of familiar voices. The voices of Holly and Tiffany and Bobbie and Robin. His hand slid off the door knob. Everything he had ever wanted was right on the other side of the door. But somehow he just couldn't turn the knob.

tbc...