As we all know link gets in weird adventures but, this one takes the cake literally...

Link: "I'm hungry... Ooh! Cake! I think I'll take it!"

Ganon: "NOT so fast samurai, oh wait wrong line"

Link: "Ganon! So, you finally decided to show your face, huh? Wait... Didn't my ancestors imprison you? And turn you to stone? And kill you, on many different occasions?"

Ganon: "I dunno maybe, too many links to remember..."

Link: "Right, well, I'll stop you, just like those before me!" Draws sword. "Huh? A paper sword?"

Ganon: "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!" cast some random spell "now your DOOMED!"

Link: "Oh no! My brain feels numb!" Hits self with paper sword over and over. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow..."

Ganon: "Perfect, that's not what I expected to happen; but as long as link gets hurt I'm happy!"

Scene change time! Cut to Ganon's Death Mountain base, about three centuries after the original Legend of Zelda!

Ganon: Walks in. "With Link slowly killing himself with his paper sword, I shall cover the land in darkness! Muahahaha!"

Link: "Ow, ow, ow, ow,"

Ganon: "Why I brought him with me, I do not know. Anyway, it's time to look for the other Triforce pieces! Wait... I don't have any anymore!"

Ganon: "Wait... He doesn't have a piece? GAH! I forgot! This is a different Link!"

Link: "I'll stop you!" continues hitting self with paper sword thinking "urge to kill self -raising cannot control left arm!"

Ganon: "Yeah right, foolish Hylian. Hm... If I was a Triforce piece, where would I hide...?"

Link: "Can I go now?"

Ganon: "Sure." Casts Dispel on Link, then checks under the cushions of a random conveniently placed couch. "AHA! Aw... Nothing there..."

Link: "I'll stop you!" starts whacking Ganon with his paper sword! "TAKE THAT!"

Ganon: "Ahahahahaha! You fool! Do you expect that to bea- AHHHH! PAPER CUT!"

Ganon: Runs around screaming.

Link: "IT'S WORKING!"

Ganon: "Agh! You'll pay for that, Hylian!" Picks up a bag of cotton balls and throws it at Link.

Link: "AH! NO! NOT THE COTTON!" gets hit and falls to the ground crying like a sissy

Ganon: "Muahahaha. Prepare to meet your doom!" Picks something up, but accidentally brushes the paper cut, and, like Link, falls to the ground crying like a sissy.

Link: "Must Run Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!" runs away from Ganons castle like place

Ganon: Getting up. "Curse you Hylian... Mark my words, I shall return."

2 weeks later... In a forest some where

Link: "wow this is a weird forest"

Moblin: Comes out of nowhere. "Blah!"

Link: "AHH!" almost suffers a heart attack "DON'T DO THAT!"

Moblin: "You... You're Link, aren't you?"

Link: "well who else would be wearing this silly outfit?"

Moblin: "Hm, well, Tingle, any Kokiri, Peter Pan..."

Link: "..."

Moblin: "What businesses have you in the Forest of Death and Forbidden-ness?"

Link: "Ummm wandering from ganon?"

Moblin: "Well, since I'm one of Ganon's minions, I should probably try to kill you."

Link: "yeah maybe" UN seethes paper sword

Moblin: Takes a leaf off a tree and attempts to throw it at Link, but it gets blown away by a breeze.

Moblin: "What's with all these stupid weapons?"

Link: gives the moblin multiple paper cuts "I dunno bad authors are my guess"

Moblin: "Oh." Dies of paper cuts.

Link: "Wow is this what exp feels like? It's all tingly!"

Old Man: Walks up. "Hello, there, young weird person in green."

Link: "Hi there old man whom will most likely give useless and some what of riddled advice!"

Old Man: "East-most peninsula holds the secret." Walks off.

Link: "they are always so predictable"

Octork: "Hi, we're Octorks! We're here to kill you!"

Link: Wanders off and trips on a blade of grass "OW!" notices a wooden sword

Octork: Sniff. "He ignored us... We just wanted to be your friend!"

Link: "WOW! A real sword" picks it up "so this is what a real sword feels like it's all tingly!"

To be continued...