You don't even wanna know what little thing popped into my head that made me decide to write a Wolf's Rain crossover... But here it is. I wasn't gonna post it until I finished it, but I need some FEEDBACK on chapter two, some OPINIONS and smart people to DECIDE STUFF FOR ME. Well, they don't have to be smart. They can just be drooling, obsessed fans of mine who worship me because of the sublim-- I mean, because of my wonderful writing skills... -shifty eyes-

CHAPTER ONE
Meet the Lunatic

"Damn it, where did they go to?"

A white-haired man in tight black leather walked through the forest. He was alone, and though he usually seemed to like it that way, now that he had absolutely no idea where his 'pack' was, he wanted to get back to them as soon as he could.

It's all the stupid humans' fault. If they hadn't attacked us, we wouldn't have had to break apart like that. Damn, stupid humans.

"There'll be no more of that!"

Tsume stopped dead. He hadn't even scented this woman, this raggedy, wrinkly old woman who barely came up to his waist. She was hobbling towards him now, looking up at him from under her hood.

What the heck is this senile old lady--

"Senile, am I?!" she cackled. Tsume looked at her, wide-eyed.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"So they're 'damn, stupid humans,' are they? Well--"

"Tsume!"

At the sound of Kiba's voice, Tsume turned his head. The black-haired boy ran towards him, stopping a few feet away when he saw the old lady.

"Who is that?"

"I don't know," Tsume said. "Where are the others?"

"LISTEN TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" the old lady screamed with a frighteningly loud and demanding voice, despite the fact that it still sounded like it was coming from an old lady. Tsume and Kiba stared. "That's better."

"You, young man, will regret your thoughts," she continued.

"What?"

"Tsume, what is she--"

"BE QUIET AND LISTEN TO ME, YOUNG PEOPLE!" She pulled a cloth from her pocket and dabbed her forehead, looking rather exhausted. "Now... You are wolves, so I understand how you feel towards humans. But I will prove to you that humans were not always bad!"

Now all the pair could do was stare at this lady, as she was really, really freaking the both of them out.

How did she know what I was thinking?

"Eh heh heh..." the woman chuckled. "I'm a witch."

"A witch?" Tsume said skeptically.

"Yes. And now you'll see that in the past, humans weren't as bad as they are now. And Earth wasn't such a bad place."

"What are you--"

"YOU'LL SEE!" she screeched, laughing. A strange warmth flooded Tsume's body, and an odd tingle started up his legs.

"What are you doing?!" Kiba asked. It was obvious he was feeling the same thing as Tsume by the panic in his voice.

Of course, so cliché, before he got an answer, he collapsed. Tsume kneeled over, already slipping into unconsciousness before he hit the ground.

"WOLVES! AHHHHHH!"

Tsume's eyes shot open.

"They must have escaped from the zoo!"

"Why would they be lying on a sidewalk then?"

"I don't know! Wolves are just big dogs! They're stupid!"

Tsume growled, stirring.

"Oh my God! Wolves carry rabies! Keep it away from me!"

"Why aren't they doing anything? They're awake!"

"Maybe they're sick."

"THEY HAVE RABIES! AHHHH!"

"Shut up!"

Tsume felt Kiba move behind him.

"It's gonna attack!"

A new voice joined the other three.

"Aww, they're so pretty..."

"THEY'RE DANGEROUS! THEY HAVE RABIES!"

"Shut up!"

The crowd grew.

"Somebody call the zoo! Or the police! Or animal control!"

Kiba stood. Tsume followed his example. The "wolves carry rabies" voice screamed, a piercing scream that hurt the wolves' ears. That set them off. Kiba in the lead, as usual, the two tore through the crowd and down the sidewalk. Tsume's mind was racing.

What did that lady do? Where are we? If this is some kind of attempt to make me see humans aren't all bad... He glanced over his shoulder. Several people were chasing them, a few in uniform, others were mere peasants. ...then her attempt is not going to work.

Kiba turned into an alley and Tsume followed, both instantly reverting to their human disguises.

"What's going on?!" Kiba asked.

"I don't know."

"Who was that woman?"

"I don't know."

The crowd was drawing nearer. Kiba and Tsume ducked out of sight just as the mob tore through the alley. Luckily, it wasn't a dead end. Once the last human had vanished, they stepped out and looked at each other, both having a hint of confusion and fear on their faces, no matter how they tried to hide it.

"What now, Kiba?"

"I don't know. Let's get out of here."

They walked through alleys, mostly, to avoid notice. It seemed like an eternity before they reached the outskirts of the city. They walked with less tension, but were still cautious for any unwanted attention.

However, it seems that today isn't their day. Or maybe it is...

Walking down the sidewalk as they were, it was hard for them to avoid notice when the noticer was blocking their path.

A teenage girl was lying on the sidewalk, not moving any more than it took to breathe. Tsume started to cross to the opposite side of the street to avoid her, but Kiba's sense of... whatever... sent him forward to her side. Now, that "sense of whatever" was a bad sense, as it just led this wolf into a whole new world of doom, a world from which there is a small chance of escape.

"Kiba..." Tsume growled. The boy ignored him and knelt down beside her. She seemed fine. No injuries... It looked like she was lying on the sidewalk sleeping for the fun of it.

"Hey... Are you okay?" Kiba asked.

The girl opened one eye. "Okay? Hey, who're you? Yeah I'm okay."

"...Oh."

There was a pause.

"Are you wondering why I'm lying on the sidewalk like this if I'm perfectly fine?"

Kiba didn't say anything, but he didn't move, either.

"Well then... It's a long story, really, and you'd have no idea what I was talking about, because you don't know me, so I'll just tell you this: I'm stuck."

"Stuck?"

"Yeah. I can't get up."

"..."

"Can you help me up?"

Kiba had been preoccupied talking to this girl, but Tsume had noticed as a short, spikey-haired, black-clad man walked across the yard of the house they'd stopped in front of, headed towards them. Now this little guy was right beside Kiba.

"Shadow," he said dryly (FROM THIS POINT ON, DOOM ENSUES). The girl on the sidewalk looked up at him. "Get up, right now."

"I can't."

"You can't," he stated dryly.

"I can't," Shadow confirmed. He reached down, grabbed her wrist, and jerked her to her feet. "Ow!"

"Okay, now leave these poor people alone." He started to drag her away, but she had somehow gotten a firm grip on Kiba's wrist, and she would not let go. He tugged on her arm so hard she and Kiba both about fell over.

"Hiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!" she whined.

"Let go, Shadow."

"Nyah!"

Hiei sighed and let go of her wrist, then walked to where she'd attached herself to Kiba and tried prying her hand off. She wouldn't let go no matter what he did. Meanwhile, Kiba's hand was turning colors from circulation cut-off.

"Let go, Shadow," Hiei ordered. Kiba and Tsume were completely silent through this all, having no idea what to do about these two odd people.

"Hmmmmm... Wait a second. I never got you guys's names," she said, looking at Kiba and Tsume.

"If they tell you, will you let go of him?" Hiei asked. Shadow nodded vigorously. Hiei sighed and looked expectantly at Kiba.

"I'm Kiba."

They all turned their gazes to Tsume.

"Just tell her. She's harmless," Hiei said, instantly reading the look on his face. Shadow punched him in the head.

"Harmless, am I?"

"Shut up, Shadow."

"His name is Tsume," Kiba said. Tsume glared. Shadow got a broad grin on her face. Then she squinted at the leather-clad man.

"Hmm... You're not quite human, are you?"

"What makes you say that?" Kiba asked.

"He's got gold eyes!"

"You've got red eyes."

"And I'm not human."

"What?" Kiba said, startled.

"Shadow, shut up and let go of his wrist!" Hiei snapped when Shadow opened her mouth. She looked at her hand, still firmly grasping Kiba's wrist. With an innocent smile, she let go.

"Sorry 'bout that."

Kiba shook his hand to get the blood flow going and, massaging his wrist, looked Shadow over.

"So what are you, then?"

"Half demon."

"Demon! What?!" Tsume said, startled. Hiei'd given up on controlling Shadow ages ago and was quietly standing with his arms crossed, waiting for her to do whatever she was gonna do.

"Yeah. So what're you?" Shadow asked suspiciously.

There was a pause, as Tsume was definitely not going to answer.

"Where are we?" Kiba asked, making Shadow cut off her glaring competition with Tsume.

"Tokyo, Japan," Hiei answered. Kiba and Tsume exchanged glances.

"Lemme guess, you've never heard of it?" Shadow said, suddenly not a stupid girl anymore. She sighed. "Why do all the victims of tears in time and space always end up meeting me? Why couldn't they end up on Bob-down-the-street's doorstep? Why me?"

"Tears in time and space?" Tsume asked, cutting her off.

"We're in 2004. Now either you are not from this time, or you're from some dimension in which Tokyo, Japan, doesn't exist. Am I right?"

"2004?!"

Shadow turned to Hiei. "I'm right."

He sighed. She turned back to the two thoroughly confused wolves. "You need somewhere to stay, right?"

"Stay?!" Tsume said.

"Until we can get you back to your own time, of course. Do you need somewhere to stay?"

"..."

"Of course you do!" she said cheerfully. "Come along! You'll stay with me." She grabbed their wrists and had them halfway to her porch before they got over their surprise and noticed they were being dragged.

"Hey!" Tsume yelped, digging in his heels and stopping Shadow dead.

"Come on! I'm not going to kill you! Whatever you are, unless you hurt me or kill me or really piss me off, you're safe. You could be Satan and as long as you stayed on my good side, I'd be perfectly hospitable! Come on, guys!" Shadow tugged on his wrist, but it didn't do any good.

"Com on, Tsume," Kiba said. "She's just trying to help."

Tsume glared. "You're too damn trusting, Kiba. Or are you just following your instinct on this, too?"

Shadow stared cluelessly as the two glared at each other. Finally, Hiei brought the group out of their trances. He walked up to Shadow and stopped.

"I like how you consulted me about bringing in two strangers you met on the street."

"What does it matter if I consult you?" Shadow asked.

"I don't know, I only live here."

"See? It's not important, since you only live here."

"Shadow!"

"I own the house."

"Actually, the fox paid for it."

"Sort of. But I live here."

"So do I!"

"So?"

Kiba cleared his throat suddenly and the two fire demons stopped tearing off each others' faces to look at him.

"Right! Come on, strange guys I met on the street. We'll talk inside."

Kiba and Tsume followed, the latter a bit more reluctantly. Hiei brought up the rear, muttering. He raised his voice.

"So, Shadow, how do you know these two aren't psycho murderers?"

"I don't!" she answered simply with a cheerful smile over her shoulder. Hiei sighed.

A few hours later, they'd made little progress. They'd established that Kiba and Tsumè were from the future, and that Tsume's clothes were really tight. That's it.

I guess I should elaborate on that last thing, so your minds don't wander...

"So... when are you from?" Shadow asked.

"The future, it seems..."

"Really? What's it like in the future?"

"Not good."

"At least we don't have to put up with any annoying little things like you, though," Tsume added.

"What's that supposed to mean, Mister Skanky Outfit?"

"What?"

"Your clothes are so tight it should be illegal!"

Twitch.

When Eclipse walked in at her usual time after school, she wasn't the least bit surprised to see Shadow and Hiei sitting at the dining table with two strangers in the next room. She'd seen so many strangers in Shadow's house, she could have walked in on a kidnapping/rape (Shadow being the victim, of course), and she would have only been mildly surprised.

She pulled up a chair between Shadow and Kiba. "So'd you hear the news?" she asked.

"Nope."

"They said earlier today they found a couple wolves in the middle of the city. They--"

"WOLFIES?!" Shadow screeched. Kiba and Tsume flinched.

"Yeah..." Eclipse said after recovering. "Said they must have escaped from the zoo or something..."

"There's a zoo here? Did they catch them? WOLFIES! EEEEE!!!"

"Yes, there's a zoo not far from here, and no, they didn't catch them. So who're these guys?"

"Wolfies! There's wolfies running around Tokyo! Squeal!"

Eclipse sighed and turned to Hiei. "So who are they?"

"Some guys Shadow met on the street."

"Whoa! What?! How the hell often does Shadow bring home guys she meets on the street? When did she meet them? What was she doing with them?!" Eclipse said, horrified.

"I'M NOT A PROSTITUTE!" Shadow snapped, punching Eclipse in the head.

"Owww..."

Shadow looked mad for about a half a split second more, then a giant smile spread across her face and she squealed, remembering the "wolfies" that were supposedly running loose in Tokyo but were really sitting in her living room staring at her.

Hige and Toboe had been reunited shortly after the humans had attacked them, and were now wandering through the forest, searching for the other two.

"I don't even smell them now," Toboe said nervously. "Where could they be?"

"I don't know, but we're gonna find them."

Heh heh. Sure they are...

Kurama showed up shortly after Eclipse, and he wasn't surprised to see the strangers either. He gave Shadow a disapproving look before going upstairs to talk to Hiei.

Only Kuwabara, when he showed up with Yusuke, had any real reaction.

"WHO'RE THEY? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE SO MANY OTHER GUYS IN YOUR HOUSE? AREN'T YOU AFRAID YOU'LL MAKE HIEI JEALOUS?"

"Baka."

"WHAT?!"

"Well it's not like I'm having a relationship with them! I barely even know their names! They've only been here since noon or something! Stupid boy!"

Shadow then glanced around at the people scattered around her house. "Lessee... Me, Eclipse, Hiei... Kurama, Yusuke, Kuwabara... Kiba... and Tsume. That's nine."

"That's eight, Shadow," Eclipse corrected, sprawled on the couch reading one of her many manga.

"No! Nine!"

"Eight."

"Nine!"

"Eight! Shut up!"

"YOU SHUT UP, I'M RIGHT! IT'S EIGHT!"

"That's what I said, stupid!"

"No, you said it was nine."

"No, that was you, Shadow."

And out of nowhere, Hiei appeared and clobbered them both.

"It's eight. Shut up, both of you."

"Eight! I'm not fixing dinner for eight people!" Shadow said.

"You're planning on fixing dinner? You can't do that! We don't want to kill the guests!" Hiei said, horrified.

"Shut up, Hiei! Let's see you cook better!"

"I said I don't want to kill them!"

"So you admit I'm a better cook?"

"No, I admit we're both horrible cooks."

"Ah. HEY KURAMA, FIX DINNER!" Shadow shouted.

"No!" the fox shouted back.

Shadow sulked into the living room and stood inches in front of Tsume, looking up at him. "What do you want for dinner, Mister Future Guy?"

Tsume pushed her away with one finger. "I can get my own food."

"Heh heh. Who knows. We people may be obsolete and ancient, and you have no idea how to operate anything in this century," Shadow said, crossing her arms.

"Get away from me," Tsume said after a second. Shadow glared as he walked down the hall. After a second of contemplation, she ran after him and jumped onto his back, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

"You've got some good manners there for your host, haven't you!"

Tsume somehow dislodged her and flipped her over his shoulder to the ground.

"Oof!" she said.

But he wasn't getting away that easy. Shadow had latched onto his wrist the same way she'd latched onto Kiba earlier.

"Apologize, Future Guy!"

"Let go of me."

"Not 'til you apologize."

Tsume growled. Shadow's annoyed look turned into a look of confused innocence.

"What are you?" she asked abruptly.

"SHADOW!" Hiei snapped.

"Hello, Peace Keeper!"

"Let go of him! Would you just leave these guys alone? You're supposed to be the generous host!"

"Well this guy's got some really shitty manners for a guest!"

"Maybe that's cuz you're a shitty host! Now let go!"

"Or what?"

"Or I'll sic Youko on you!"

"Ooh scary," Shadow said.

Mind you, through all this, she's still lying on her back on the floor hanging onto Tsume's wrist for dear life... Which really wasn't helping her life. In fact, if she held on much longer, she would probably end up dying. Which would end her life and in that way, it would be really bad for her life. Ya. That.

"Yeah, you know it's 'ooh scary,'" Hiei snapped. "You're just too stupid to admit it."

"I'm not afraid of some stupid fox!"

"Why do you call him a fox?" Tsume asked abruptly. He'd apparently given up straining against Shadow's grip, because now he was just standing there with one hand on his hip, listening to the "conversation" between the two fire demons.

Shadow's face went blank, like the answer was the most obvious thing in the world, and answered simply, "Because he is."

"He's a fox?"

"Spirit fox. Fox demon. HEY YOUKO!" Shadow hollered.

"Shadow!" Hiei snapped.

But, of course, Youko had been summoned, and managed to somehow persuade Kurama to let him out (it wasn't really all that difficult, cuz Kurama doesn't really bother controlling him anymore). A moment later, the fox walked around the corner and stared at Tsume with a raised eyebrow.

"Hello," he said.

"See! A fox!" Shadow said. She's still lying on the floor, by the way.

"What did you want, Shadow?" Youko asked, kneeling next to her.

"Just to show you off."

"'Show me off?'"

"Yeah. No! Tsume wanted to know why I call Kurama 'fox' all the time."

"Uh-huh. And?"

"Nothing."

"Tsume, huh?" Youko stood up.

"Yup. He's got gold eyes."

"So I noticed."

"Um... Shadow?" Hiei said, interrupting the small talk (much to Tsume's relief).

"Hail-oh," Shadow said (variation on 'hello').

"Get off the floor, let go of Tsume's wrist, and go fix dinner."

"YES, YOUR ROYALTYNESS!" Shadow said, letting go of Tsume (who instantly stepped back, massaging his wrist) and crawling on her knees to Hiei. "I SHALL OBEY YOUR EVERY COMMAND, EVEN IF IT REQUIRES ME TO THINK! YOU ARE THE ALL-MIGHTY CONTROLLER! YOU HAVE BRAINWASHED ME INTO BELIEVING THIS! I SHALL FIX DINNER!"

And she promptly ran away. Tsume, Youko, and Eclipse (who had been standing nearby watching all this) stared at Hiei with wide eyes.

"What did you do to her?" Eclipse asked. Hiei smirked slightly.

"Oh, nothing... I'll go see what she's gonna make..."

"You mean you'll go tell her what to make..." Youko muttered.

"Something like that." Hiei walked away with a slight smile on his face.

"Wait..." Tsume muttered. "What was that?"

"Exactly what she said. He brainwashed her," Eclipse said, sounding clueless.

"But..."

Youko chuckled. "As I'm sure you've realized, we're not normal humans. Everybody here, except for you, your friend, and that baka orange-haired Kuwabara, are at least partially demons. Myself and Hiei are pure demons. Shadow, Eclipse, and Yusuke are half breeds. Hiei had a third eye implanted years ago that gives him psychic powers, and he can control humans and weak demons. Shadow is neither, but her mind isn't exactly... normal. So, he can control her. And he does."

Tsume stared. Youko looked him over for a minute.

"You aren't either."

"What?"

"You're not human."

"You said I was just a moment ago," Tsume said, hiding his uneasiness.

"No, I said you're not a demon. You're something else. The disguise you use to fool human minds can't fool mine," Youko said. Eclipse stared cluelessly.

"What the heck are you talking about, Youko?" she said.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen...

"Hey Shadow."

"YES, YOUR ROYALTYNESS? WHAT DO YOU ASK OF ME? I AM YOUR SLAVE UNTIL MY USEFULNESS EXPIRES."

"I just wanted to ask what you had planned for dinner."

"OH. WELL, I WAS THINKING OF FIXING SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR OUR GUESTS. AND YOU, TOO, OF COURSE, YOUR ROYALTYNESS. I LIVE TO SERVE YOU."

Somebody coughed from the doorway. Hiei and Shadow glanced back to see Kiba and Yusuke.

"Yeah... Ri-i-i-ight. I didn't just hear that," Yusuke said, one eyebrow raised.

"You didn't?" Hiei asked innocently.

"So, Hiei, what are you ordering for dinner?"

"Well, I was gonna take peoples' votes... What do you want, Kiba?"

"I don't care... Why is she acting like that?"

"She's being controlled," Yusuke said.

"Controlled? Who's controlling her?"

"There's no need to sound so concerned," Hiei said. "I'm not going to hurt her."

"You? How?"

"Have Kurama explain it," Yusuke and Hiei said in unison. Kiba looked confused.

"What does it sound like I'm talking about?" Youko asked.

"Well if he's not human and he's not a demon, what's he? An alien?" Eclipse asked.

"Nope."

"Well then... WHAT THE HECK IS HE? Are you sure he's not human? He looks pretty human to me..."

"Hiei noticed it too... Tsume's a wolf."

"A wolf? You're kidding. He looks nothing like a wolf. Well, yeah, he's got gold eyes... But that doesn't make him a wolf."

"Come on, Tsume. Lose the disguise," Youko said, crossing his arms.

Tsume glared. What the hell are these people? Demons? I don't believe in that shit. How did they know about me? We've gotta get out of here. Past or not, humans and wolves can never live together.

"I'll go talk to Kiba, then..." Youko muttered.

Tsume watched the silver-haired man walk away.

How can I not believe it when it's obvious? Normal humans don't have fox characteristics... Who is he?

"So, are you really a wolf?"

He'd forgotten about Eclipse.

"Get lost, girl."

"Well that's not nice!"

"I'm not nice."

"You know, you sound exactly like Shadow."

"Shut up."

"You know, it is a little suspicious... Two wolves found, two men show up at Shadow's... Then Youko, the genius fox-man, says you're a wolf. There's got to be something to this..." Eclipse muttered, more to herself than the man in front of her. He snorted and walked away. Eclipse, however, continued muttering.

Meanwhile again...

Shadow was slaving over a hot oven and sink and microwave and toaster and toaster oven and freezer-- Okay, wait, freezers aren't hot. Sinks can be hot, if you fill them with boiling water.

"DINNER IS ALMOST READY, OH GREAT LORD AND MASTER!"

"Good job, Shadow."

"GASP! HIS ROYALTYNESS HAS COMPLIMENTED ME! I AM--"

"Stupid," Hiei finished for her. "Just finish dinner."

"YES, YOUR ROYALTYNESS."

Meanwhile yet again, elsewhere...

"Kiba."

"Huh?"

"I don't like this place. I think we should leave."

"Leave? Why?"

"These people are strange. There's nobody like them. I have a bad feeling."

"Are you sure it's a bad feeling and not just a strange feeling?"

"Kiba!"

"I admit, they're different. But give them a chance."

"I have. They can see through our disguises."

"What?!"

"No joke. We have to get out of here."

"Tsume--"

"Going somewhere, gentlemen?"

The wolves looked up to see Youko. He put an arm around their shoulders.

"There's nothing wrong with wolves."

"What are you?!" Kiba asked.

"We aren't wolves," Tsume snapped.

"No use in lying, Tsume. I can see right through it."

Then, a voice pulled all three out of their little discussion.

"DINNER!!!!"

Shadow stared at the huge meal laid out on the table.

"... How'd this get here?"

Hiei snickered. Shadow's eyes got wide and froze on him.

"HIEI JAGANSHI!"

Ooooh, no. Have they discovered the secret of the wolves? Will Tsume and Kiba be forced to run and hide in the nearly-endless forest around Shadow's house? Will they ever make it back to their time? Will they want to make it back to their own time, after seeing what it's like in the past? And what about Hige and Toboe? TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF THIS-- AAAAACK.

Pardon me, but the narrator has tragically died. Come back later and there won't be a giant mess of blood all over the walls from his sudden demise...

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Lovely, isn't it. Now REVIEW THIS CHAPTER, AND THE NEXT ONE, AND THE ONE AFTER THAT WHEN I GET IT UP! OR YOU WILL SUFFER AND I WON'T CARE! MUWAHA! MY GENETICALLY ENGINEERED MINIONS WILL FIND YOU! YOU CAN'T RUN, AND YOU CAN'T HIDE!
(Because your shoe laces are tied together and I put a tracking device in that soda you just drank...)