I still own nothing. It gets even weirder.

Jason was out of ideas. Sam's birthday was in less than a week and he still hadn't gotten her a present. Jason turned a corner in the public records room. Due to Dent's law convicted criminals lost the right to a burial. All Jason had to do was find out where Marshall's body was and take him to the nearest Lazarus pit. No sweat. No problem all I have to do is raise the dead. Jason thought sarcastically. Jason had decided to call in a favor Talia owed him. Jason had searched through all the death records from two years ago. It was either Fionna's head on a pike or Marshall alive and well. Lets see her beat that! Jason and Sam had made a game of buying each other better presents, Tallying up the score whoever had the most points after Christmas won. Jason opened a book on a random page and did a victory dance. How many people could say they opened a random book on a random page to find what they were looking for. "Dammit!" Jason yelled. They let Batman take the body?! Come on people! Jason sighed. Now he had to break into the Bat-Cave. Scarecrow might help. Jason laughed hysterically as he walked into the Bat-Cave. He only had to mention Sam and Scarecrow and Killer Kroc were causing chaos all around Gotham. Jason glared at his so called memorial. Even after he came back to life his 'family' refused to say that he was just lacking in morals and not crazy. Before Jason went to the vault where Marshall was he took the time to smash the memorial. Jason was no beginner when it came to hiding/carrying/transporting body's but it never ceased to unnerve him. So, When Jason finally got to the pit he gave a sigh of relief (do you have any idea how hard it is to follow traffic laws?). Jason put Marshall into the pit (thankfully he didn't weigh much more than Sam). Jason suddenly remembered that resurrection caused temporary insanity and super strength. Marshall came out of the pit gasping. "Uh, where am I and am I not supposed to be dead at the moment?" Marshall asked in rapid English. Jason laughed. " Doesn't matter, Yes and you are just like Sam," Jason said happily. In a second Marshall had Jason by the throat. "Is Sam OK? Where is she? Is Fionna alright?" Marshall growled. Jason laughed again. Marshall was a mirror of Sam. "Sam is fine. She's back at home. It's your birthday in a two days. You're going to be twenty four so I figured life is a pretty good gift. Sam is my girlfriend if you're wondering how I know," Jason said, the demented smile not leaving his face. Marshall released him and smiled. "Any friend of Sami is a friend of mine. Thanks for the clothes I know it was your idea because if they had been what I died in I would be wearing a necklace," Marshall said. Jason tilted his head to the side in confusion. "A necklace? Like the one Sam wears?" Jason asked. Marshall nodded. "Well now that we've decided not to kill each other. It's nice to meet you my name is Marshall lee warren. And you are?" Marshall asked giving the mock salute that Sam often gave people. "Red Hood or Jason Peter Todd whichever you prefer," Jason said. At that moment Guards rushed in. "I don't suppose you can fight?" Jason asked as he took out his pistols. "I can do better," Marshall said with a smirk. Marshall raised his hand and lightning flashed. Jason looked on in wonder as an army of skeletons appeared. Marshall's red eyes glinted. The guards didn't stand a chance.

Jason was speeding away from an explosion in a stolen minivan. Apparently Marshall and Sam both had the unique talent of flamey doom. Marshall looked slightly guilty. "Sorry. But that was a crappy gas station anyway," Marshall said looking at his feet. "So… would you like me to tell you what to expect when we get there?" Jason asked. "Yes please," Marshall said quietly. "Damn. You're polite aren't you? Well Sam adopted two wolves, they probably weigh about a hundred pounds each. So dismiss any thoughts of not being covered in fur. Sam doesn't know you're back so that's why she's not here. It's not because she doesn't care. Also supper will be moussaka," Jason said. Silence reigned until Jason started yelling at another driver. "Fionna can make moussaka?" Marshall asked. "Fionna? She left when you died. Blamed Sam for all her problems. They hated each other you know," Jason said. "I just hoped one day they could get along ya'know? I love both of them, but they never stopped fighting," Marshall said sadly. After awhile Marshall asked to turn on the radio. Jason agreed. The fool. Jason had learned to cope with the light rock Sam played but had never gotten used to her metal Cds. For Marshall hard rock was gentle and sleep inducing. It was midnight when Jason pulled into the parking garage. February 27th. The Warren kid's birthday. Jason and Marshall entered the apartment quietly. Not because they thought Sam was sleeping, but because it was a surprise. When they entered Jason could hear Sam playing a song he had heard many times. Jason had never known the words. Apparently Marshall did. "O'my queen you have as your faithful servant alone. We were twins torn apart, when our fates should have shone. Some how in our next life if we ever meet again, let us play together once more, and be the best of friends," Marshall sang. Sam dropped her guitar. She turned slowly. The moment she saw Marshall she lept forward. Knocking him over, Sam clutched Marshall's shirt and cried. "Hello Sami. Miss me?" Marshall asked a soft smile blooming across his face. Sam managed to gain control enough to let Marshall stand. "Well Sam I was thinking what could I possibly give you for your birthday. Then I thought of it! The one thing that would make you truly happy! So happy birthday! Have a twin," Jason said happily. Sam hugged Jason. "If it were anyone else Jason, and I mean anyone. I wouldn't believe this," Sam said through tears. Marshall could see Sam had changed. Her eyes had lost some of their shine. Sam could barely manage to not hug Marshall to death. So she went to the next best thing. Feeding them to death. "Since when can you cook?" Marshall asked. Sam rolled her eyes. "Since your fiance stopped trying to poison me," Sam said as she gave 'her' boys each a heaping plate. Sam sat down in between the two. "Marshall, please don't ever die on my account again. I can't die anyway," Sam said picking up a knife to hack at the brownies she had tried to make. She may be able to cook but she can't bake. "Really? Somehow I doubt that," Marshall said. Jason stood up "I'll get a towel. Please wait this time," he said. Jason left and returned a moment later with a red towel which he promptly gave to Sam. "Jay… Didn't this used to be white?" Sam asked. Jason nodded. Sam took her knife and slit her wrist. She held the towel on the wound for about five seconds. When she removed the towel the cut was healed. "See Mar? No more death for me!" Sam said happily. Lakota and Chinook started howling. "Shit!" Sam said as she rushed towards the door. " Jonathan! What are you doing here?" Sam's voice echoed across the apartment. Marshall's eyes lit up. Jonathan Crane was called a sadistic maniac by many, but he was the best parent the twins could ask for. Sam led the master of fear into the kitchen. "I know you don't eat so sit and if you have to gain twenty pounds in one sitting so be it," Sam said forcing Jonathan into a chair and giving him food. The night passed quickly. It was dawn before anyone decided that it was time to sleep. So here Jason was tiptoeing to his bedroom trying not to wake any of the sleeping people (or canines for that matter). Jason was almost to his bedroom when he tripped over Chinook. Lights all around the apartment switched on. "GO THE HELL TO SLEEP!" everyone yelled. Jason laughed. This was his family. Messed up as hell and twice as fiery. The crazy thing is Sam was planning to top this gift for Jason's birthday.

Thankfully Jason's birthday isn't due for awhile. Sam and I can brain storm. Read and Review!