When In Roanapur

by DianaPrince31

During the War in London against Millennium, one lone soldier was able to steal 50 million worth in gold bars, but since their defeat at the hands of Hellsing, Lt Dietrich Kruger is on the run. He hides the gold in the one place no one would look - Roanapur. 3 years later the Queen sends Hellsing to get it, can they find the gold before the criminals of the depraved city can?

WHEN IN ROANAPUR

A HELLSING/BLACK LAGOON CROSSOVER

Sapphirewyren

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing.

Author's Notes: Since I am not sure what year Black Lagoon takes place, we're going with the year 2002, so this would be three years after Millennium's attack on London in Hellsing.

London, England 1999

They had won and lost at the same time. The Major had achieved his goal of defeating Alucard, but he did not live long to celebrate as he was killed by Integra Hellsing, leader of the Hellsing Organization. It was Lieutenant Dietrich Kruger's mission to steal the cache of gold from the Securior Headquarters West Drayton; Britain's Fort Knox while the battle was going on. This gold would be used to finance the Last Battalion after the war. The Major had plans for more wars with many nations because he loved war. But now he was dead and Lt. Kruger and the remnants of the Last Battalion found themselves retreating and running from Hellsing and British troops.

Roanapur, Thailand 1999

The Hellsing Organization had been relentless in searching for any remaining members of the Last Battalion. All of them had been slaughtered by that blue eyed iron bitch. It was said that she was fueled by anger, the need for revenge and cigars. The woman had been unstoppable, putting silver bullets into the skulls of vampire and human members alike. It was if she never slept and the facts that every member of Millennium was six feet under proved that fact to be true- everyone except Lt. Kruger. Right now he was on a flight to Roanapur with the cache of gold worth $50 million. Lt. Kruger decided the only thing was to get rid of it in a place no one would look. Roanapur was the most deplorable place, filled with crime and criminal scumbags; it would be the last place anyone would look for Great Britain's gold.

London, England 2002

It had been three years, three years since rivers of blood ran through the streets of London, since Nazi vampire soldiers rained down on the people of London and feasted on them like some cheap buffet. Three years since the screams of the dying filled the night sky and the bodies of the dead and undead filled the streets. Even if it was that long ago, Integra Hellsing remembered it as if it had happened just a day ago. This needless battle had cost her everything and the betrayals had not been very helpful. But she was not one to wallow in pity and self doubt, there was no time for that. Instead she hunted down the remaining people of the Last Battalion and personally sent them on a one way trip to the deepest pits of Hell. One would say that she had become obsessed, though Integra would just say she is heavily invested in her duty. Rebuilding hadn't been as difficult either, many people who had lost loved ones and met the proper qualifications joined the Hellsing ranks. Repairs on the manor had begun almost immediately and staff members replaced those who were deceased and new members of the Round Table were found and within half a year the Hellsing Organization was running at full capacity again. Integra was thankful for that. Then the Queen informed Hellsing of the missing gold worth $50 million. That was yet another insult by the Major and Millennium, rob England blind in the midst of the bloodbath. Three years and the gold stealing bastard was nowhere to be found and this frustrated the Hellsing commander. But at this moment, that was not the cause of Integra's frustration. She was in yet another boring meeting with the Round Table and the speaker; Sir Rupert Winston was yakking away about something. Whenever he spoke, Integra made it a point of not paying attention to him. Sir Rupert liked to hear himself talk and would go on for hours if no one stopped him. The director was about to tell the talkative knight to be quiet, when the butler Percy Wordsworth entered the conference room and placed an envelope in front of Integra. She sighed, what could it be now? The information in the envelope however was good news. Sources had found the location of the last remaining member of Millennium, Lt. Dietrich Kruger. He had been tracked to a place called Roanapur and he had taken the gold with him. Sir Rupert, seeing that Integra was reading something, said snidely; "Care to tell the rest of us what is so important, Sir Integra?" The director slowly raised her eye from to the paper and straight into Sir Rupert's, who now winced under her blazing blue, one eyed glare. "The last member of Millennium has been found in Roanapur."

"And where is that?"

"If you would shut your damn bloody mouth, I'll tell you"

Sir Hugh Irons chuckled at this, while Sir Rupert gave the shocked reply of; "Well I never!"

"Well you never what?"

"Are you mocking me, Sir Hellsing?"

"You are the one using incomplete sentences."

Wisely Sir Rupert decided to shut up and not waste anymore of Integra's time.

"Roanapur is in Thailand and it is there where this Lt. Dietrich Kruger has hidden himself."

"I hear that Roanapur is a most disreputable place, full of criminals, gangs, killers prostitute and the such" said Sir Rob Walsh.

"Her Majesty will be informed and she will send soldiers to retrieve the gold" informed Sir Irons.

"No" interrupted Integra. "I will go."

"You?" said Sir Rupert. Integra rolled her eye, was this man an idiot? "No, the Ghost of Christmas past. I just said I was going, didn't I?"

"Are you sure that this is a good idea?" inquired another Knight.

"Would you like to go instead?"

"Well it would make more sense if Sir Hellsing goes" said Sir Walsh; "We wouldn't want the government of Thailand to think it's under attack."

"I will make the preparations with Her Majesty" said Integra as she rose from her chair. "Sir Irons, you can finish up this meeting." With that the director left, leaving the Knights confounded, well almost all of them, Sir Walsh and Sir Irons just smirked at one another. When Integra put her mind to something there was no stopping her. The two older gentlemen almost felt sorry for the lone Last Battalion member, the director was going to tear him a new one and then some.

When rumors get around Roanapur, they got around. For example, when the children assassins Hansel and Gretel were out for Balalaika's head, it didn't take long for the head of Hotel Moscow to learn about it and turn the whole town against them. And when the crazy gun toting maid from Columbia came- twice-the whole town knew within hours. Of course, this happens because the right information is given and proper action -if you can call it proper-is taken. This fine morning, Revy burst into the Lagoon Company's office with a sheet of paper in her hand. "Hey Dutch! There's 50 mil worth of gold hidden somewhere in this city!" The large black ex-soldier just simply lit a cigarette and asked; "Who's feeding you that crap?"

"There's fliers fuckin' everywhere! I just grabbed this one from our door."

"It could be a trap; someone trying to set up. Wonder who we pissed off now."

"More like who did Revy piss off now?" snickered Benny looking up from his keyboard. Revy slapped the blond on the back of the head and growled; "How'd you like it if I cram that damn keyboard down your throat?" Benny raised his hands; "No need to get violent, Revy."

"Why don't you look outside, I ain't the only who knows that fuckin' gold somewhere in this city." Dutch sighed and, but got up from the couch and looked through a window and it was exactly as Revy said. Plastered everywhere was a flier that said gold could be found somewhere in the city. Finders keepers, if someone could find the gold they would be able to keep it. Revy laughed loudly at Dutch's surprised expression at seeing all the fliers, but he merely said; "Something still doesn't feel right about this."

"I agree" said Rock, who was sitting at the desk. He had decided on staying quiet until now. "Why broadcast that there is that much gold lying around Roanapur, unless it was a trap of some kind?"

Revy glared at that the Japanese young man; "Cuz the blabber mouth is a stupid fuckin' idiot. But I'm gonna get that gold!"

"Hey Revy, do me a favor and wait until after I speak to Balalaika about this" said Dutch. Revy rolled her eyes, she had a feeling that Balalaika would say the same thing, but she decided to listen to Dutch for once. If anyone could wring information from the city, Balalaika was the one to do it.

Despite the humid heat outside the Bougainvillea Trade Company building, the office occupied by the leader of the Russian mafia known as Hotel Moscow, was airy and comfortable. Balalaika had just hung up the phone, when her second-in-command Sgt. Boris walked in and place a piece of paper on her desk; "They seem to be everywhere, like a plague of locust, Kapitan." The blonde raised an eyebrow; "A strange way to describe the situation, Sergeant."

"I do not trust whatever this is."

"You and Dutch are of the same mind. He says that Revy is excited at the prospect of getting rich."

"And so is every low-life that believes that getting rich is as easy as finding it."

Glancing at the paper, Balalaika had to chuckle at the words 'finders, keepers', it certainly looked suspicious. If there was really $50 million in gold it wouldn't be long before there were bands of idiots tearing up the city looking for it. When Balalaika had seen the fliers that morning, she had sent out some of her men to acquire information about them. And at that moment she received a call from them. When Balalaika hung up the phone a second time, she turned to Boris and said; "Ronny the Jaws is running about claiming that he has information about this cache of gold. He wants to hold a meeting with the leaders." The woman sighed, she loathed this moron as much as his predecessor, all mouth and no brains. But now she would have to be in close proximity of him while he was running his mouth.

When all the leaders had been cleared of any hidden weapons, Ronny the Jaws said; "I want to thank you all for coming to this little meeting."

"We only came because you said you have information" said Abrego, leader of the Columbian cartel, "so spill what is it you know?"

"Don't rush me."

Chang, the leader of the Chinese Triads, took off his sunglasses and began to clean them with a handkerchief; "I have important things to do, so if you could get to the point, that would be nice."

Ronny scowled at him but began his narrative; "A couple days ago some German guy was asking around for a place where he could sell gold. Of course, that got my interest and so we sat down to have a chat. A couple of rounds later, he told me that about three years ago, Britain had a war with some crazy Nazi guy and a bunch of vampires, of course I thought that was shit. But he told me that he had stolen 50 million dollars' worth of gold. Supposed to be their finances or something, but this German guy's boss gets capped and he wanted to get rid of the gold. But when I asked this guy where all the gold was, he wouldn't tell me. No matter what I said this guy wouldn't spill the bean, so I killed him."

"YOU DID WHAT?" asked all three gang leaders at the same time.

"Why'd you do that?" asked Abrego.

"The idiot has no brains" drawled Balalaika. Ronny glared at the Russian woman, but she continued; "When someone with a brain in your little club pointed out the stupidity of killing the German, you had these fliers made, knowing that every fool in this city will be searching for the gold. And if someone does find the gold, your men will be right there to kill them and take it for you. Am I right?" Everyone in the room were silent and stared at Ronny, who looked rather uncomfortable. "That's not true!"

"I would say that he's lying through his teeth, but I guess the lies would have to get through his braces first" chuckled Balalaika.

Chang sighed; "Dutch was smart to realize that this was some sort of trap."

"What if the gold is a lie? The German soldier could have just been spreading a rumor" said Abrego.

"It ain't a lie. There's gold somewhere in this city."

"Doesn't matter now, since you killed the only person who knows where it is. And you plan on killing whoever finds it" said Chang icily.

"Stupid dago has more metal in his head than brains" laughed Balalaika.

"When word gets out of your little plan, no one will go looking for the gold" stated Abrego. "Or a massive war will break out."

"And we don't need that" sighed Chang.

"There's one more little flaw with your plan, Italian pig" sneered Balalaika. "What makes you think that when England realize their gold is missing that they won't send someone to get it back?" The woman tried not to laugh as Ronny processed this new information.

"If they didn't notice it gone by now, they ain't going to send anyone" replied Ronny pathetically.

"Care to make a bet on that?"

Ronny decided not to take on that bet, but if he truly believed that England wouldn't send anyone to Roanapur in search for the gold he couldn't have been wrong. A couple hours later the good residents of Roanapur looked up at the sky as several fleets of military helicopters and planes flew over the city, some of the helicopters were from the Thailand National Army. In the harbors sailed a large fleet of aircraft carriers that flew the Hellsing Organization and Great Britain's Union Jack.

As the private jet flew over the white beaches of Thailand, Seras couldn't help but exclaim; "How beautiful!" even though she knew where she was headed would be considered the exact opposite. Next to her sat Integra, who was fast asleep. This had been the first time in a long time, Seras had seen the director sleeping. She was worried that this obsession with stamping out the Last Battalion was beginning to get to Integra. Seras had once threatened to sit on Integra and force feed her meals, if she did not eat regularly. At least now Integra was getting some rest. Seras contemplated slipping something into her boss' tea to knock her out at nights. At the jet landed at Suvarnabhumi Airport also known as Bangkok International Airport, Integra awoke, which startled Seras. How did she know that they had landed?

Once in Roanapur, Integra did not want to wander around asking for anyone that might have information. Captain Henry Grimes, the man in charge of Hellsing forces, handed the commander a folder; "This is all the information we have on the four most powerful people in the city Roanapur." As Integra flipped through the pages of details, she was surprised at what she saw. A police officer turned head of the Chinese triads and a decorated war hero turned leader of the Russian mafia.

"Hotel Moscow? Not very creative, are they? Sounds rather stupid."

Captain Grimes replied; "Well we are not dealing with scholars. Also, we found this flier, there are many strewn about everywhere."

"Damn idiots, why not tell the whole nation while they are at it?"

"Whoever posted this must not know where Lt. Kruger has the gold."

Integra sighed, this flier told her that the stupid sod may have killed Lt. Kruger and was too lazy to find the gold themselves, so they were counting on the greed of the populace and then they would spring their trap. How typical of scum, well, there is no honor among thieves or cutthroats. Of course, the appearance of a special ops force did not go unnoticed and soon rumors were swirling through the city. Perhaps they were hired by one of the top four gangs or worse the rumor of gold had spread to the Thai government and they were coming to seize it. Maybe other countries had heard and were sending forces. Whatever it was, it had people arming themselves and making pacts with those they felt that they could trust. If anyone would get the gold, it was going to be a citizen of Roanapur, not some foreigner.

"It's like the whole city is gearing up for a war" sighed Dutch. "This is not good. Balalaika told me of Ronny's little scheme."

"I would suggest forgetting about that gold, Revy" advised Benny.

"The fuck I will! No way I'm giving up on that" shouted Revy. "Besides I'm not afraid of metal mouth. I'll put lead in his whole gang's asses!"

"Getting caught up in shit like that ain't worth it" said Dutch lighting a cigarette. "Besides we've been getting plenty of jobs lately."

"Does any of those job pay $50 million?"

The only thing Dutch could do was sigh, once Revy got that look in her eyes there was no turning back. He had heard her taking with Eda, from the Church of Violence, on the phone, probably making plans on how to go about finding the gold. Dutch hoped that if Hotel Moscow got involved that Revy would be smart enough to stay out of their way. Chang already made it known that he was not interested in the gold, but many did not buy that. Even if the leader was not looking for the gold, maybe his underlings were.

Balalaika, however was more interested in finding out what kind of person would be bold enough to show up in her city with an army. Whoever this person was clearly did not know how things worked in Roanapur and what kind of host would she be if she didn't set the record straight? Early the next morning, after having extended an invitation to the newcomer, Balalaika sat in her office waiting for her 'guest' to arrive. The one thing that upset the Russian woman was since the previous evening she had requested that any information on the invaders and no word had reached her yet. It really couldn't be that hard to find information, could it? Balalaika did not like going into a battle unprepared or without any knowledge of her opponent. But today she would have to go in blind. Balalaika knew that her guest would have information about her and Hotel Moscow, so she would be at a disadvantage. But she would not let this phase her, she had been in far worse situations and survived.

Revy had wanted to come to the meeting and while Balalaika didn't refuse her, she did tell her the wrong time. While the mafia leader liked and respected Revy as one of the best gunmen in the city, Revy had a way shooting off her mouth at the same speed she shot off her guns and both did not require much thinking. Whoever this person was came ready for war and though Balalaika relished the thought of a war in the streets, she preferred that it not start in her office, after all she had just replaced the rug. At the sound of several vehicles pulling up to the building, Balalaika got up from her desk and looked out of the window and saw several armored trucks and a sleek black limousine. Black clad soldiers exited the armored vehicles and took up various positions around the entrance. Helicopters dropped off snipers on nearby rooftops. The soldiers cleared the block of any loiterers and civilians. "This person is certainly going all out" commented Boris. It may look like they were taking great measures to ensure their safety, but Balalaika knew it was also a show of power. She did not miss the high-tech gadgets, state of the art body armor and high-powered weapons. If anyone were to take on these soldiers, they would not survive. They knew what they were doing and they meant business. Then several people exited the limo. A short blonde woman in a red uniform. She had a long black sleeve on her left arm and she wore her hair in a spiky ponytail. The next was a balding man in his late forties with a thin moustache. He wore a black and white suit and judging by the way he opened the door, Balalaika could tell he was the butler or some kind of manservant. Balalaika grinned, so it was some rich prick then. Just then a large man came into view. His skin was suntanned and his brown hair was styled in the typical military cropped haircut and he was broad shouldered with powerful arms. Boris thought that this was the special 'guest' because all the soldiers saluted, but his boss was focused on the last person to exit the limo. A tall tan woman, who was also a blond, but her hair was waist length. She wore silver round rimmed glasses despite the black patch over her left eye. The woman wore a stylish night black suit with a silver neck tie and waistcoat. The way she walked, Balalaika knew that this was the guest she was waiting for. Boris had thought the large soldier was in charge. It would have been entertaining to see him try and get the Kapitan to bend to his will, only to find himself bending to hers instead. But this was a woman, who had a dominating aura just as Balalaika, this meeting would be unforgettable.

Outside the office, Integra and company were checked for weapons and when they were cleared, they entered. Captain Grimes stay outside after protesting about Integra not having any weapons. "Sir, these people are not the most upstanding people, to go in without a weapon is foolhardy. At least demand that a couple of the men go in there with you."

"It's nice that you are worried for my safety Captain, but I do have a weapon."

"You do?"

Integra glanced at Seras, who gave the Captain a small wave and grin. "These fools have no idea what Seras is." Captain Grimes understood, no matter how good these criminals may think they are they would never be a match for a vampire.

"I'll be out here should you need anything, Sir." Some of the Hellsing soldiers stood outside the office with the captain. Once inside the office Integra made herself comfortable in one of the chairs; "I am Sir Hellsing and these two are my retainer Percy Wordsworth and Officer Seras Victoria."

"Sir Hellsing?" drawled Balalaika. "There's no first name in there?"

Integra lit a thin cigar; "I didn't we were on a first name basis, unless you don't mind me calling you Sofiya."

Balalaika's glared hardened, while Boris' eyes widened slightly at the casual use of his boss' real name. No one in the crime riddled city of Roanapur knew her by this name except the soldiers that had served with her in Afghanistan. To hear a complete stranger and outsider use it meant that someone did some extensive research.

"Well someone did their homework" said Balalaika in a bored tone.

"You can call me the teacher's pet" replied Integra in an equally bored tone.

Seras, who stood behind Integra, took this time to take a good look at their host. The tall woman was very beautiful despite the many burn marks that marred the right side of her face, neck and chest. She wore a maroon blazer and skirt that showed ample amount of cleavage and legs, along with black stockings and black heels. Her blazing blue eyes reminded Seras of her boss' own, only in a lighter shade. Miss Balalaika was the perfect mix of beauty and strength. The tension in the air was thick as both women glared at each other. Seras thought for a moment that Balalaika was going to kill Integra just for saying her real name. Sofiya sounded so much prettier than Balalaika, to Seras anyway. Integra held out a gloved hand to Percy, who handed her one of the fliers that hung up around the city; "Now, which one of you, let's say geniuses, decided that this was a bloody good idea?"

Balalaika smirked before lighting a cigar herself; "Do you think I look stupid enough to do something like that?"

Please don't say yes, please don't say yes, Seras prayed silently. Her prayers were not answered. "Judging by the amount of greed and debauchery in this city, I am going to have to say yes, I think you would be stupid enough to do something like this and if you are not the not-so bright master mind of this little ploy, some other asinine simpleton surely is. And I would love to meet whoever that is." The office went silent and Percy could swear the temperature in the office lowered significantly as he saw Balalaika's eye twitch. Suddenly Balalaika burst out laughing; "I have to say, you either must be very brave or have a death wish to come into my office and call me stupid. However, you are protected by several governments and if you think you can goad me into doing something violent to you, as much as I would love to, when you have that much protection, then you are the stupid one in this office. Did I pass your little test, Integra?" The only reason that Balalaika had known Integra's name was because the Thai government had called Chief Watsup to inform him Hellsing's arrival. They had hoped that he would work with the organization in locating the gold. Instead the corrupt officer had called Hotel Moscow in hopes of getting some kind of reward. Balalaika could practically hear the pleading in his voice. How she loathed that insipid man. It was now the commander's turn to grin; "Looks like we are on first name basis after all."

"If you want the person behind the 'little ploy' as you call it, you should talk to a little named man Ronny the Jaws, he is in charge of the joke of an Italian mafia."

Integra raised an eyebrow; "Joke of an Italian mafia? I was under the impression that all of the gangs here were jokes. A group of sad people running from past burdens too heavy to bear so they play at being important in a pathetic place like this. A city full of shit, trying to see who is the top shit among shit. Not really a joke worth laughing at."

"Something a foolish and ignorant outsider would say, especially when they think they know everything because of what a piece of paper says. I would advise you be careful where you get your information about us 'shit' from, Integra. I assure you, it doesn't tell you everything. You had better find your gold soon and get the hell out, because if I so feel like it, I will rain hell down on your head and you have no idea what hell is like."

"Why don't you come to London and find out?"

Just as it seemed the two women would tear out each other's throats, the door burst open and Revy burst in; "Sis! How could you do that to me? You knew that I wanted to be here! You told me the wrong time on purpose!"

Judging by the sigh Balalaika gave, Integra could tell that the new person in the office was not exactly wanted.

"Who's the loud strumpet?" drawled Integra. Revy finally seeing the strangers in the room said; "What the fuck you call me, ya dyke?"

"A strumpet, harlot, whore. Prostitute. Mostly because of the way you're attired."

"How about I blow your damn head off, yer fucking four eyes?"

Integra shook her head; "Rebecca, it's very rude to proposition giving me a blow job in front of everyone. At least do your job correctly and extend the same invitation to everyone present. I'm sure you'd make more money."

Balalaika's cigar fell out of her mouth, did Integra just say what she thought she said? This woman really did have death wish. Boris, Seras and Percy all sighed audibly. Revy, on the other hand blew her top (no not a bj). "Ya fucking pervert, I ain't into men-…"

"I couldn't tell."

"Ya know what, just fuckin' die!"

What happened next, Balalaika felt she had to play it back in slow motion in her head because it happened so fast. After her outburst Revy began to reach for her guns, but Integra got to one of them first, at the same time slamming the mercenary against the wall. But wait Revy had two guns on her, not one. Where was the other one? When Revy reached for the other one, all she felt was holster. Balalaika then looked at the second blond, Seras who was not only sporting a very innocent it-wasn't-me look, but also holding the second Beretta. The Russian understood now what happened, Seras had grabbed one gun, while Integra grabbed the second, leaving Revy weaponless and staring down the barrel of her own gun. At the speed that the two women had done that was superhuman, leaving Balalaika wondering how'd each one knew what the other was going to do.

What the fuck just happened was the first thing that crossed Revy's mind. One minute this British dyke was saying some perverted shit and now she was choking the life out of her. There were very few people that could catch Revy off guard and adding another to that list did not make her happy.

"Well Rebecca, we are in quite a predicament, are we not?"

"Fuck you!" The grip on Revy's neck got tighter.

"I would rather you didn't decorate my office walls with her brains" deadpanned Balalaika.

Integra chuckled; "I do not believe you have to worry about that, there are no brains in this one's head or she would have realized by now how much danger she is in."

"You don't fuckin scare me, you eye patch wearin' bitch!"

"Good, I wouldn't want you pissing yourself and getting it on my shoes."

Integra let Revy go and instead inspected the modified Beretta 92Fs that she had 'confiscated' from Revy. "I'll be taking these as compensation for wasting my time, Rebecca."

"The fuck you will and stop callin' me that!"

"I'm certainly not going to call you some ridiculous nickname to placate your frail ego."

A man entered the office and saluted; "Here is the information you wanted on the Hellsing Organization, Kapitan. Sorry it took so long to get." Balalaika sighed while Integra said; "It looks like crime breeds incompetence." As she walked towards the door, Integra clapped the soldier on the shoulder and said; "If you hadn't shown up with that information, I would have given Sofiya my autobiography." The poor man could only gape as the woman in the suit who walked out chuckling. When he saw the expression on his Kapitan's face, he knew in deep shit. Lack of information had made Hotel Moscow look like an ass in front of the Hellsing Organization. While Revy fumed over her stolen weapons, Balalaika decided to calm herself with another cigar and a read through the files. In the folder, however there was only one sheet of paper, a couple of photos and a note from Ronny the Jaws. The sheet of paper had Integra's full name, along with the names of the members of the knight of the Round Table. Apparently, they were employed the Queen of England to dispatch of vampires. Balalaika nearly laughed, this had to be some joke. But she then remembered Ronny's story about a war against vampire Nazi soldiers in London.

After meeting Integra, Balalaika knew for sure that she would not make up knowing what hell was like. The Mafia leader also recalled the bio-terrorist attack in London several years ago and after putting two and two together she knew that this must have simply been a cover up. The note from Ronny just stated that he found a bunch of photos in Lt. Dietrich Kruger's person. The first photo in the group was one of a man dressed in a Nazi soldier uniform. There were a few things that were off about him. First, he had glowing red eyes and a mouth full of sharp jagged teeth. Between those hideous teeth was a blood-spattered baby about six months old. He knew he was being photographed because he also gave the thumbs signs. Most of the pictures were like the first, sharp toothed men with their teeth sunk into someone's flesh. The next set of pictures showed Integra and Seras either shooting or cutting down these same Nazi soldier vampires. So that's the kind of hell that Integra was referring to. According to the file, this was a nightly occurrence. Revy, who was done fuming and wanted to actually do something to get her guns back, said; "Sis, ya gonna do something about that bitch, she stole my guns and…"

The look on Balalaika's face as she looked through the photos, shut Revy up. The mercenary got up from the chair and taking a handful of the pictures flipped through them. "What the fuck….?"

"It looks like the Hellsing Organization kills these monsters for the Queen of England."

"You sure that these aren't fake or something?"

"What reason would there be for these to be fake? Also, these were found on the German soldier. I doubt she knows these exist."

"So that eye patch wearing bitch is after the gold?"

"Yes, she was most likely sent by the Queen. After that display in here, I would strongly advise you to stay away from that woman."

"I'm not afraid of her, she's…"

"Also, that other girl with her, there's something off about her. If these photos are real, then you don't stand a chance against them."

"I can take her."

Balalaika just shrugged; "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." Revy stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind her. "The city may be full of shit, but that woman is not good for Roanapur. I can smell a war coming" sighed Balalaika.

Integra's next destination was Ronny the Jaws' office, which was easy to find due to the information given to her. When Hellsing arrived at Ronny's, she was only interested in finding out one thing and it was not the location of the gold. After mowing through some goons of the Italian mob with the help of Seras' superhuman strength, the director was able to get to Ronny. "Hey lady if you want to know where the gold is, I got no clue. The guy who knew is dead, so you have to look for it like everyone else."

"I will find the gold, all I want to know is where Lt. Kruger's body is located. And don't waste my time."

"What will you give me in return? How about that tasty little blond?"

Seras' eye blazed bright crimson and as she lifted the Italian by the throat, she snarled; "Believe me, I'm not as tasty as I look." That got Ronny to spill his guts and tell the two women everything they wanted to know. Afterwards Integra punched Ronny in the mouth; "The next time something like this happens, you alert the proper authorities, you greedy, dirt-eating scum." When the commander left, Ronny then had the courage to go to the sink and spit out blood and some of his braces.

Balalaika had been right; the Hellsing Organization was bad for Roanapur, like a crocodile with a toothache. Since asking about the location of the gold was not an option, Integra went with her next plan: search and seizure. No one was safe, residential or place of business, Hellsing soldiers kicked in doors and searched everywhere. And they were thorough, if anyone had any secret hideaways or compartments, they were no longer secret once the Hellsing storm blew through. Integra did not just search the local residents, the gangs were not safe either, just because they ruled the city, the commander did not see why they should be an exception. Captain Grimes had asked Integra; "What if there is any resistance?'

"If there is any resistance, you are to crush it!"

And there was resistance, especially from the Italian mafia and the Columbian Cartel. Their thugs tried to make things difficult for the Hellsing soldiers, along with groups of many independent mercenaries. But with smarter tactics and better weapons, Hellsing had the upper hand in their skirmishes. The mercenaries even went as far as to set explosive traps, but these also back fired and the body parts of mercenaries were usually scattered about.

The Lagoon Company members found themselves at their usual watering hole, the Yellow Flag bar where Bao the owner and bartender was livid. "Bao, what's up?" Dutch greeted the Vietnamese man.

"What do you think? The bill for repairs! Some crazy blond lady stormed in here and tore up the place!" Looking around Dutch, gave a long whistle; "She really did a number on this joint."

"That eye patch wearing bitch thinks she can just come here and do whatever she wants" Revy growled. Bao looked at Revy and seeing her holsters occupied by guns other than her usual Cutlasses and the bruise on her neck; "What the hell happened to you?"

"She ran afoul the crazy blonde" stated Benny. Revy just mumbled something intelligible. The bar was completely trashed, furniture was overturned, broken glass and bottles littered the floor. The wall had holes, where soldiers had been in search for secret compartments. To make matters worse, there were patrons in the bar of the time of the search and seizure. They did not like having their drinking interrupted, so they showed their displeasure by shooting at the Hellsing soldiers. In return, the soldiers threw in a couple of smoke grenades, blinding the drunks and fired in on them. Dutch and company had arrived after the bodies were removed, all that were left were bloodstains.

"When I asked who would pay for the damages to my bar, that woman said for me to take it up with the government, because she wasn't going to pay for it!"

Two members from Hotel Moscow came in, which was strange because they typically frequented another bar called The Caribbean, which was owned by Balalaika.

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Dutch.

"The Caribbean is closed for repairs" said one of the men, whose name was Viktor. "Kapitan was pissed when she saw the mess left by Hellsing."

"This whole find the gold thing has everyone on edge" agreed Dutch.

"I just hope this Hellsing person finds the gold and leave soon" sighed Rock. When Revy had returned to the Lagoon office, she threw a huge fit, completely pissed that Integra had taken her guns. This bit of news had surprised all three men because Revy was never known to lose her guns. And upon reflection about the loss of her weapons, this was one of the few times that Revy was scared, not that she would ever admit that. She had stared down the barrels of many guns, but never her own. It would be an embarrassment if she had been killed by her own gun. Revy swore to herself that she would make sure that eye patch wearing bitch would pay for taking her guns. Even though the Yellow Flag was in a state of disaster, that stop people from coming in, such as a man named Red-Eyed Ricky. He was called that because he looked like he had a permanent case of pink eye. He looked at the members of the Lagoon Company and said; "What the heck are you doing here?"

"What's it look like, ya dumb fuck?" retorted Revy. "We're fuckin' drinkin'.

"Hey, don't get pissed at me, I'm just asking cuz I saw that Hellsing group over by your place."

"WHAT?!" cried Dutch, this volume was pretty rare for the normally mellow man.

"How? Isn't that illegal or something?" asked Rock. Ricky laughed and shook his head; "No, not that I know, this is Roanapur. They are probably tearing up the place right now." All four pirates ran out of the bar and leapt into the red '45 Pontiac. Benny hadn't driven that fast since the first coming of the crazy maid. Bao meanwhile grumbled how Revy left again without paying, at least Dutch would pay for his drinks.

When Dutch and company reached their building, they saw a large group of soldiers and black armored vehicles outside. "Hey! What the hell do you think you idiots are doing?" called Revy. Some of the soldiers surrounded the groups with their rifles pointed at them. "It would be a wise idea not to interfere with the search" one soldier said. Rock tried a different approach- being polite. "Can you please tell us what is going on?"

A second soldier looked at him in a funny way and said; "What? You got a rock for a brain? What's it look like?"

Revy looked ready to punch the soldier in the mouth, but before she could, the first soldier said; "We are looking for the gold Lt. Dietrich Kruger hid in this city."

"By tearing up the whole city?"

"I don't make the rules, I just follow 'em."

A third soldier called out; "Oi Bailey! Sir Hellsing said you can let them in."

When Dutch and the rest entered the building, what they saw was the result of if Hurricane Andrew and Hurricane Katrina had a baby named it Integra and turned her lose on the Lagoon company's office. Furniture was overturned, papers scattered and every door opened. Some soldiers wielded hammers and crowbars as they tore up floorboards and walls, looking for any secret compartments. A group of soldiers had connected their own computers to Benny's, searching for any information that might even mention the word 'gold'. To Rock, the soldiers seemed to be enjoying their work a bit too much as they laughed and chatted with each other as they worked. Rock looked around for the person in charge and found her casually leaning on the wall, smoking a cigar with a bored expression on her face. Approaching, Rock asked; "Isn't this a bit excessive?" Integra stared at him for a long moment before saying; "Is it? I haven't noticed." A soldier came near and said; "Sir, it would appear that one of the rooms is occupied by a female tenant …perhaps it's best if some of the female soldiers…" The soldier was talking about Revy's room.

"I don't care, if the slag can occupy a room in such close proximity of three men and dress like that, manners are off the table." That meant 'she gets no special treatment".

"Yes sir" replied the soldier.

Of course, Revy was not happy about that; "Hey you bastards, stay the fuck out of my room!" But the soldiers had their marching orders and would not do anything else unless ordered otherwise by their commander. The Lagoon members could only watch in despair as their personal quarters were trashed.

"Hey Eye Patch bitch give me back my guns!"

"I'm afraid I no longer have them, I sold them for 5 dollars each and in this crooked city, I was cheated and given counterfeit money."

Integra took out two crumpled five-dollar bills that looked obviously fake and handed them to Revy. The irate mercenary could only look at the bills in shock; "How could you not know these were fake?!"

"I'm wearing glasses and I only have one eye. The eye that could see color and detail is the one that is missing."

"YOU BITCH!"

Dutch grabbed Revy before she could lunge at Integra and dragged her outside. After some time, the soldiers began to pack up and leave, after reporting that there was no gold to be found. Even the Elco-type PT boat in which Dutch and his crew did business was searched and torn apart. Dutch was not happy to hear this, especially after Integra told him the same thing she told Bao, to ask the Thailand government for money for any repairs that was needed. Rock had never seen Dutch look so pissed.

Hellsing's search for the gold did not stop the groups of mercenaries in conducting their own searches for the cache, in hopes of finding it before Hellsing. If one thought that Integra merely had a bunch of troops busting up places looking for gold, they would be wrong. She also knew if her soldiers didn't find the gold, someone would and based on what she saw in the city, they would try and keep it for themselves. So, the soldiers kept a close eye on the groups of gold seeking hopefuls and kept Captain Grimes and Integra informed. The only person who seemed to be benefitting from all this confusion was Bao. Disgruntled, angry gold seekers came to the bar to vent their frustrations. The day after their 'meeting' with the Hellsing commander, Rock and Revy saw Eda at the Yellow Flag. Eda was one of the nuns that worked at the Church of Violence. The church was a cover for a weapon selling business and judging by the half-hearted greeting that Eda gave them, Rock and Revy knew that she had a run in with a certain British woman. Actually; Eda had two run ins with Integra. The first time Integra saw Eda, she thought that Eda was a prostitute and told her so. Most likely because Eda was dressed in her usual in her pink sunglasses, mini shorts, flip flop sandals and a white tee that barely covered anything. The second time was at the Church of Violence. Hellsing soldiers kicked the door down and Sister Angelica was not happy; "This is a church! Show some respect, Miss Hellsing!"

Integra chuckled; "I would, if this was a Protestant church and if it weren't a cover for selling and smuggling illegal weapons." If Sister Angelica thought that Hellsing barging into a place of worship was bad, it was about to get worse. Along with Hellsing troops, Integra decided that now was a good time to use the Thailand National Army forces, but they were not there to look for gold. The Thai government had been after the stash of illegal weapons and drugs that the Church of Violence had gathered over the years and now was a good time as ever to confiscate their whole inventory. Sister Angelica nearly had a heart attack; "You can't take that! We have customers!"

"You'll have to take that up with your government and if I were you, I'd pray that they don't have you arrested."

Eda walked in on the destruction of the church and when Integra saw her, she burst out laughing; "Just when I thought this place couldn't get any more deplorable, you prove me wrong. Tell me Eda, was it the CIA's idea or yours that you go undercover as a prostitute nun?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I think it's best if you leave."

Integra merely smirked at Eda, and only left when Hellsing's search was over. The Thai National Armed Forces left after confiscating every weapon and drugs from the Church of Violence.

"The weapons that Hotel Moscow ordered were even taken, Balalaika is going to be so mad" moaned Eda. Balalaika rarely did business with the Church of Violence and when given the news that her order was taken by the army under the orders of Hellsing, she was none too pleased.

"I think the Eye Patch bitch is enjoying this too much" grumbled Revy. "Once I find that gold and get my guns back, I'll send that fucking bitch to hell!"

"Revy, Dutch said not to go after the gold…" stammered Rock.

"I don't give a shit! That bitch is going to pay for this!" Rock sighed, he knew that this would not end well.

The last week had been bad for everyone in Roanapur, but Red-Eyed Ricky was bemoaning his own loss as he wondered onto what was known as the Slip Knot bridge because of the nooses that hung from the metal beams. He had lost his small time smuggling business because of the British warships and air craft carriers that blocked anyone from coming or going through the Sea of China. At the entrance of the bridge Hellsing armored trucks could be seen barring the way, the only person allowed to leave the city was Integra. She knew better than to spend the night in Roanapur. Ricky looked up at the nooses, several people had used them in the last couple of days alone. Just then a flash caught Ricky's eyes. He blinked, there was the flash again. The smuggler took out a pair of binoculars and took a closer look. There heavily duct taped to the beam was a brick of gold! The crafty German had taped the gold on the bridge, a place no one would think to put it. Little did Ricky knew was, that he was being watched.

Captain Grimes contacted Integra; "Sir, it is possible that one of the citizens has located the gold."

"So, they were useful for something after all. Have all the troops converge on that bridge at once. If there is any resistance, make them a permanent stain on that bridge!"

"Yes Sir!"

Ricky took out his cell phone and called his smuggling partners, telling them the location of the gold. A secret like that could not be kept hidden too long. As Ricky's buddies made their way to the bridge, something must have given them away, maybe it was the look on their faces, or maybe it was the urgency in their movements, whatever it was, someone yelled out; "Ricky's gang found the gold!" When Revy heard the news, she flew out the door and ran towards the bridge. When the gold seekers reached the bridge, they met a wall of armored vehicles, riot shields and armed soldiers. These blocked the way, while more soldiers searched bridge beams for the gold bricks and secured them onto large cargo helicopters.

Captain Grimes held up a bullhorn; "This gold belongs to Great Britain, and we, the Hellsing Organization will return it to its rightful owner. Please return to your business, we would prefer for this to be a non-violent affair." One mercenary took out a knife and ran towards the captain; "Yer should have thought of that before you came here, ya bastard!" Four shots rang out and the man was relieved of his arms and legs.

"I think it's best if you clowns go home, unless you want to go to hell today" said Integra acidly as she glared at the limbless mercenary. The crowd hesitated, in front of them was an army of highly trained soldiers and a crazy lady who just shot off some poor fool's limbs. Circling the bridge like a flock of menacing vultures were several military helicopters, most likely to give air support in case of a gun fight. Even if the mob really wanted the gold, most of them were weighing their options. They had already lost a lot of people to the Hellsing Organization, were they willing to lose a couple more for the sake of 50 million dollars in gold? The group of Roanapur's criminals and Hellsing and Thai forces stared at each other tensely. Then one of them yelled; "Kill the blond bitch!" As the crowd opened fire, Seras stepped in front of Integra, using her Shadow arm to deflect the bullets.

"You know Seras, I get the feeling that I am not very well liked here" sighed Integra as she calmly returned fire, taking out several mercenaries.

"Well we did pretty much tear up their city looking for the gold Lt. Kruger hid, pissed off the most powerful people here, halt many of their businesses and killed or injured many of the citizens. And while they had to pick the shattered pieces of their day or bury their dead; people and businesses alike, we dined in fine restaurants and slept in fines sheets and fluffy pillows at night."

"Don't forget that massage that was exceptionally good. At least the masseuse is getting a better paid job, a promotion of sorts."

"Oh yeah, she had such soft hands. It's like she knew where every kink was. I suggest another one before we leave."

"Fine by me. What were we talking about?"

"No one in this town liking you, Sir."

"I was simply doing what had to be done." Four more mercenaries were taken out.

When Revy arrived on the scene it was a full-blown war and Roanapur was losing. The Italian and Columbians gangs had joined in but they were just more fodder. Mr. Chang, Balalaika and the Lagoon Company stood on the roof on a building closest to the bridge, observing through binoculars. "I never thought there would be a war that I wanted no part in" mused Balalaika.

"This is crazy!" cried Rock. "Revy is down there. We have to stop this!" The looks everyone gave him told him that there was no stopping anything.

"If you want to get in the middle of that be my guest" shrugged Dutch. "But I bet you won't be able to do anything."

"I say, let this storm blow itself out" said Benny disinterestedly, he would have rather been back at the office tinkering with his technology.

"Revy can take care of herself" assumed Mr. Chang.

"I told her not to get mixed up in that search for the gold" sighed Dutch. "Now that bridge is a shit-fest of a war."

After a couple of minutes of more decimation, the losing mercenaries of Roanapur decided that the gold was not worth it and ran off with their tails between their legs. On seeing this, the Hellsing soldiers returned to loading the gold back onto a waiting chopper, when a single shot went off. Integra sighed, what idiot now decided to be so stupid? Turning around the commander saw two women, both dressed as pathetic, tawdry hookers (her words, not mine). Eda, who looked extremely nervous and Revy who looked extremely pissed. "Well it isn't my two least people since Enrico Maxwell and the Pope. I would say you two have some balls to still be here, but for you I'm sure that means a completely different thing." Some of the Hellsing soldiers chuckled.

"Where do you think you're going with that gold, fucking Eye Patch bitch?"

"You already know the answer to that; so why waste time asking questions you know the answer to?"

"Well if ya gonna bring that gold over here, then ya better hop to it, bitch."

"If you want this gold so bad, you're going to have to kill me for it."

"Fine by me."

'Revy, wait if you shoot her, the soldiers will kill us and they will still get the gold."

"Oh please, I've killed better people than these chumps."

Integra couldn't believe what she was seeing, was this woman that greedy that she would risk her life for gold that she probably wouldn't be able to do anything with? Revy took out her second gun and started firing, but the bullets were just blocked by Seras.

"Hey stop being a pussy and hiding behind the freak! Fight me fair and square, bitch!" One bullet managed to turn the cigar that Integra was holding into a stub. From the rooftop, Balalaika muttered; "Revy's made a big mistake." The Hellsing director dropped the destroyed cigar; "You miserable slag, I was still smoking that." Sensing the change in her boss' aura change, Seras stepped out of her way. "You are going to regret wanting 'fair and square'". Two shots relieved Revy of her guns. Integra kept firing until the magazines of her Sig Sauer and Beretta were empty.

"That's it? If ya gonna kill me, you're gonna have to do better than that, ya blind bitch!" laughed Revy. But she stopped laughing when she saw the smirk on Integra's face; "Whoever said I wanted to kill you?" First Revy's shoulder holster fell to the ground, in pieces, followed by her black tank top, which was also in tatters. It took a couple seconds for Revy to realize what happened. She was standing topless in front in hundreds of Hellsing soldiers, the people on the rooftops and a couple of mercenaries who straggled behind. The first person who laughed was surprisingly Balalaika as she had no clue that could happen, then followed by the loud boisterous laughing of the troops and mercenaries. Dutch and the rooftop audience had descended to the street and Chang draped his coat over the shoulders of the mortified Revy.

"You didn't even have the decency to wear a bra, Rebecca. Who taught you how to dress?" smirked Integra. Revy just stomped off without saying anything.

"That was not nice nor necessary" said Rock. "You humiliated her!"

"I'm sorry, doesn't she look like that on a nightly basis?" This remark earned another round of loud laughter from the soldiers and what was worse some of them had taken pictures! A couple of hours later the Lagoon Company found themselves at their favorite bar. Revy would have preferred to stay behind, but they had ran out of booze and just as she had suspected rumors and pictures had gotten around Roanapur rather quickly.

"That bitch!" growled Revy downing another shot of bourbon.

"Maybe you should go easy on the drinks" said Rock.

"Maybe I should fucking punch you."

"No use talking her out of it" said Dutch. "It'll be over when this whole thing blows over."

"I hope it's over soon" moaned Benny. "I don't think I'll survive another one of Revy's punches." The skinny blonde sported a black eye and a fat lip because he had commented; "For someone who claims that she is color blind and can't see detail, she's a great shot." With a couple of bullets, Integra ruined Revy's reputation as one of the most dangerous person in Roanapur. People actually called the Lagoon Company's office saying that they wanted to hire Revy to take off her shirt.

"That English bitch! Wish I could shove her fucking glasses down her throat. With her stupid accent and stupid glasses. If I ever see that bitch again, I'll punch her in so hard in the throat, she'd lose the accent…."

"None of what you said is very lady like or possible, Rebecca."

"What the fuck are you still doing here?!"

"I was thinking of moving here permanently."

"Seriously? Here?" asked Rock.

"Yes, why not?"

"You can't be serious…."said Dutch.

"I think I'd fit in nicely."

"Sir, you're joking right? Living here would be…." said Seras.

"Yeah listen to fucking Giant tits and leave."

"At least the whole city didn't see mine."

"What did you say!?"

"Look lady" said Dutch. "What is it you want? You already turned this city upside, what else do you want?"

"Well nuclear action against this city…."

"Sir Integra!"

"I came to give Rebecca something." Integra slid a box towards Revy, who eyed it suspiciously.

"What the fuck is that? A bomb?"

"If it was, I wouldn't still be here."

"Well I ain't gonna be your friend."

"Cute, but I have no use for friends."

Revy opened the box, inside were her twin Cutlasses, she gave the director a shocked look; "You said you sold them!"

"I figured you're going to need to rebuild your reputation up from the 'nude gunman', Rebecca."

"Well now I can kill you." The mercenary pointed one of the guns at Integra and pulled the trigger. Integra chuckled as she left the bar; "Silly girl, what makes you think I'd leave the bullets?"

In her office Balalaika leaned on the edge of her desk staring through the haze of her cigar smoke; "Did that Sir Integra Hellsing leave yet?"

"Yes Kapitan, she stopped at the Yellow Flag Bar first, apparently to give Revy back her guns" answered Boris.

"Hmm is that so? Wonder why she did that?"

"I'm sure it was not to apologize for what she did to Revy."

"That woman has sure left an indelible mark on this city and has cost us plenty of good weapons. Who knew that one woman could destroy so many businesses here?"

Many smaller businesses were shut down and the top four gangs' businesses had been stalled. The cleaners of Roanapur such as Sawyer had a large job to do because of the many casualties, however there were no casualties on Hellsing's side, a few wounded but they would be up and about soon. The Thai government was glad to get a hold of the inventory of the Church of Violence.

"Let's hope Sir Integra Hellsing never comes back to Roanapur" sighed Balalaika tiredly.

Integra was happy to be finally headed home to London and to civilized people. How anyone could live in that hole called Roanapur was beyond her. But even the world's unwanted needed a place to rest their heads, even at the risk of getting a bullet in it.

"I am so glad to be out of that god forsaken place" said Captain Grimes in a relieved tone.

"Me too" said Seras. "Just being there made me feel dirty." Percy just nodded in agreement, he had been worried for Integra's safety ever since they arrived, and everyone in that city carried a weapon of some kind. There were moments that he thought he was going to be bringing back Integra's body to London. How the woman was so damn bold, he would never know. Percy chalked it up to youth, after all he worked for a twenty-five-year-old woman and one that saw hell on earth, so Roanapur was a walk in the park for her.

As Integra watched the country of Thailand grew smaller, she had to smirk before drifting off to sleep; "Seras, when Alucard gets back, remind me to take him to Roanapur, he would love it."

"Yes Sir."

The End

Author's Notes: I am definitely going to be writing a second part to this because this was fun to write.

I have seen many Hellsing/ Black Lagoon Crossovers, where Integra and Balalaika had this mutual respect for each other, and while they were pretty good reads, I personally do not believe that would be the case. Integra is more of a black/white kind of person; you're either a human or a monster. Balalaika is more a gray area person, good people could turn bad and bad people could turn good, depending on their circumstances. Integra fights evil on a daily basis and seeks to destroy it. Balalaika sees evils being done and even does evils herself and revels in it. These two polar opposite beliefs would clash, whereas Balalaika may have some respect for Integra, that feeling would not be reciprocated. I hoped that I was able to portray that in this fic. And for all the Revy fans, I am a big fan of her myself, but let's be honest, Integra would have no respect for the woman whatsoever. I had no intention of bashing Revy. So, look forward to another one in the near future, with Alucard this time. Oh boy, this is going to be good. See you in the next fic.