Swann's Note: Prologue only. Story in next chappie, and it'll be a lot more funny.
Ships: Not that many. Hints of nearly everything, I guess, but if there is one it'll ultimately be Sparrabeth.
Disclaimer: I still don't own it. But owning it shall come with my plan for WORLD DOMINATION….! Not.
Elizabeth Swann was having a semi-normal day. No evil fanfiction authors so far trying to make her swim inside the kraken, dramatically choose between Jack and Will, kill Davy Jones, or travel magically into the future only to be introduced to 21st century fashion.
A knock at the door signaled the daily arrival of Jack, Will, and James for their usual discussion about fanfiction before they were called out to duty for the day.
"Good morning gents. Anything I can get you?" Elizabeth asked happily. Her day yesterday had actually been close to fun…less fanfictions to participate in than there were during the summer.
"Tea. As hot as you can possibly make it."
"Coffee. Black."
"Rum. No honey this time."
"Tough night, I take it?" She asked, sitting down at the table with them.
"You wouldn't imagine," James said sullenly into his coffee, "I had to stage my own death, fall in love with Sparrow's sister, get drunk, fall in love with Turner's cousin, actually die, and then…I had to be in one of those parodies. It was a complete nightmare."
"How's a parody a nightmare?" Jack asked, raising his eyebrows.
"You like parodies because everyone loves Jack Sparrow. Everyone loves his witty, dim-minded remarks and his terrible knack for always getting the girl. I despise parodies because I'm made to be fool and don't use proper English! Read this." James said furiously, shoving a fic under Jack's nose.
"'Pull out the guns with the funny names?'", Jack read, laughing, "'Doth singing is painful to mine ears?' Oh, no, this one's just bloody brilliant-'Get yo piratey hands off her shoulder, dawg!'"
James looked murderous while Jack and Will wiped tears of mirth from their eyes and Elizabeth tried fiercely to bite back a smile.
"What about you, Jack?" Elizabeth asked, taking a sip of her coffee.
Jack's eyes darkened as though he was remembering his own death-well, he was, but still….
"Marysues. I think I'm gonna kill whoever put me with Carella Ana Chavez Barbossa. That was just scary. Oh, and then I had to spend at least half of my time inside the kraken, then on the Dutchman. Nearly as bad as meeting my 'sister', Lauren Marie Starlight Reede Sparrow. Then, this bloke with a big black machine with some glass over it asked me about the making of Sleepy Hollow. What's a Sleepy Hollow, I asked, and he just laughed and walked away."
Will frowned, "That sounds dangerous. Nearly as bad as that one fanfiction….this man, he could be my twin, but had really long blonde hair and pointy ears asked me where Fido, or Filo, or….Frodo, that's it…was. Oh, you should have seen it though. I had to die twice, nearly kill Jack, befriend the Commodore over there, fight these immortal women, and swim four miles. Brilliant, brilliant day."
There was a loud rap on the door, and a young girl with long blonde hair peered through the window.
"….That would be Anna," James said begrudgingly, "My first author of the day. Time to go and feel angst-ridden, ridiculous thoughts. See you."
Swann's Note: Yep, prologue of doom. Second chappie coming soon only if you REVIEW!