I don't know what it's like to be normal, all of my life, I felt different.

Despite that, I lived day by day, trying to fit in with the other kids at my school, trying to not let them see how confused and miserable I felt on the inside.

I hid my emotions to the point of becoming pretty much apathetic.

I acted like nothing mattered to me, I couldn't let them see how I was really feeling, why I was feeling that way.

They would never understand.

I think these feelings started when I was six, when I first saw my cousin at her tenth birthday party.

She looked so beautiful, she had her hair braided, with roses intwined in the braids, and she was wearing the most gorgeous dress, an aqua blue dress that nearly reached the floor, with pearls decorating the skirt of it.

I remembered wanting to wear that dress, to have my hair like hers, I wanted to be her.

I was ten when I started to feel attracted to boys, only, I wouldn't label myself as gay, I didn't think I was gay.

When I talked to people online, it didn't feel like it was me talking to them, it was like how I felt on the inside, like a girl.
I loved talking to people online, much more than I liked talking to people in person, I felt more like my true self.

I was fourteen when I created my first online persona, I'm not sure exactly how it happened. I was chatting in a teen chat, when someone PM'd, asking my A/S/L, which meant, age, sex, location. If it had been anyone from school, I would have said 14/M/CO, however, this was online, no one knew me here, I finally had a chance to be myself without ridicule, how would they ever know?

16/F/UK, I typed back instead, feeling very excited, and surpringly happy, I couldn't remember the last time I actually felt happy.

This lasted for a few months, just chatting as a girl on random chats, until I decided to take it a step further, I would create a profile on facebook for my online persona.

As I walked into the bathroom, to prepare to take pictures, I thanked my lucky stars that no one could see how tall I really was. At 6'3, it would be pretty hard to convince anyone that I was just your everyday average girl. However, I was fortunate in the fact that I didn't have an overly masculine face, and my eyes are actually kind of pretty, they were steel grey, and not too small, not to mention I had long lashes. I had also inherited my mother's full lips, which was another plus.

I studied my face in the mirror, checking for any stubble, when I was satisfied with that area, I started to apply mascara, smiling as the action made my eyelashes appear longer and thicker. I knew that it would be hell to wash the stuff off later, and that it felt a bit weird, but I didn't care.

I then decided on dark blue eyeshadow, it looked good with my grey eyes and black hair.

What colour lipstick should I do? I wondered as I held up a tube of dark blue lipstick, and a tube of red.

I finally decided on the dark blue, it would match my eyeshadow better.

Perfect. I thought as I stared at my reflection, however, I noticed that I was still wearing my school uniform. When I was twelve, my parents decided to move so my sister and I could go to a private school, which sucked, but everything pretty much sucked, so I guess it wasn't that bad.

Shit, I thought to myself as I rushed out of the bathroom to look through my mother's closet, thanking my lucky stars that she wasn't home. I finally found a dark blue button down shirt, it had short puffy sleeves, and something a bit like lace on the front of it.

I then grabbed a bra out of her underwear drawer, and a pair of socks, before tucking everything under my arm, and locking myself in the bathroom again.

I started to pull off my uniform shirt, hoping that my wardrobe change wouldn't smear my make-up.

Unfortunately, it did, a little, however, it was nothing too serious, and I was able to fix it in about three minutes.

Now, for the last bit, I thought as I started to place my sister's Halloween wig over my own hair. It was black, and it reached my waist, it also had a fringe that reached slightly past my eyebrows.

When I looked in the mirror, I didn't recognise myself, I actually looked like a real life girl, I couldn't believe it.

I couldn't help but to smile, which made me feel slightly ridiculous, however, I didn't care, I looked beautiful, I looked how I always dreamt myself of looking, and I loved it.

I was now in the present day, chatting with people online, still using my online persona that I had since I was fourteen, I was seventeen now.

I didn't really talk to my friends from South Park that much anymore, I stopped talking to much of anyone after I created my online persona.

However, that all changed when my parents came into my room.

"Craig, we have some exciting news to tell you." Dad said.

"What is it?" I asked in a bored tone, figuring that they probably won twenty dollars from the casino, or something completely boring like that.

"We're moving back to South Park!" Mom practically yelled.

I didn't have time to speak, before my sister was down there in a flash,

"What? We can't move! I was just invited to Hannah Johnson's party! It's the biggest party of the year! I can't miss it!" She whined.

"There will be other parties Ruby." Dad said.

"Not like Hannah Johnson's! Besides, if I move, how will I talk to my friends?" She continued to whine.

"Just email them, Sweetie." Mom said.

"Oh, like that will work out, Craig can email HIS friends and they never talk to him anymore!" She snapped.

I didn't know which stung more, the fact that she called me a him, or the fact that she was right about me not really being friends with any of my friends from South Park anymore.

"Come on Ruby, you'll have a chance to start over at a new school, to make new friends, who knows, maybe you'll be the Hannah Johnson of South Park." Mom said.

As she tried to reason with my sister, something she said struck a chord in my mind, 'you'll have a chance to start over.' That was it! I didn't have to go back to school as Craig Tucker, seventeen year old BOY. I had moved when I was twelve, I hadn't seen anyone from South Park since then, and I surely didn't look the same as I did back then. I could go back as a girl, I didn't have to settle with keeping who I really was a secret, only to be revealed online, I could be who I really was on the inside without getting ripped on.

I could completely start over, I could-

"Craig, why are you smiling like a dumbass?" Dad asked, breaking into my thoughts.

I responded by flipping him off, before turning back to my computer, trying to void myself of all emotion, however, I couldn't, I was much too excited to.

A/N: So, there it is, the first chapter of this story.

I'm sorry if Craig is a little out of character, I will try harder to make him more in character in the next chapters.

Another thing, if you have any ideas of what you want Craig's female name to be, please post them in the review area, thank you.

Also, thank you all for reading.