A/N: Due to certain...unpleasantness I've done some character pruning for Project: Arashi. It starts here, by removing the previous character that served as Yuuna's love interest and replacing her with this new character. The standing chapter of Kuro itself will likewise be updated to reflect the changes, and all forthcoming chapters will pick up as though this character has been there the whole time. Apologies for any inconvenience.

Unfortunately, Stupid Tends to Work to My Disadvantage More Often Than Not

- by Yuuna

Howdy, folks. Akashi Yuuna here, student number two of Mahora All-Girls' Academy Class 3-A. I was born June 1, 1991, here in Mahora, Japan. I'm 5'3" with brown hair I like to wear in a ponytail on the right side of my head, sort of like a mirror image of my classmate Sakurazaki, who wears hers on a left-side ponytail. Weird coincidence, huh? My blood type is A, and my measurements are none of your business! As far as academics go, English is totally my worst subject, but I'm an ace on the basketball court! Not only that, I'm also a member of the Electronic Gaming Club and the Military Enthusiasts' Club.

Not a whole lot of people even realize how much into games I am, except my roommate Ako, of course, because she sees me playing Halo all night, you know? That's mostly because I'm a kind of background character in the greater scheme of things. Or at least, I used to be. It's hard to say exactly where the difference was, but if I had to sit and think about it, I'd say that it was probably the field trip to Kyoto that changed things. Changed everything, really.

The trip had started normally enough. A joint field-trip between my class, Class 3-B, and 3-A and 3-B of the international high school (which is a co-ed school, mind you) which meant that there'd be a lot of people crowding the train and hotel. The first part of the train ride was uneventful, save for meeting a student from 3-B who was hitting on me. At least, I think she was hitting on me. I'm usually bad at judging that kind of stuff. Not that I would've minded her hitting on me, but at that point I was still 'in the closet' as it were so it made me a little uncomfortable.

Yeah, that's right, I swing for my own team. Gay like Elton John. Or maybe I'm just bi. Some days I really have trouble telling. So probably bi. I think I used to be mostly on the fence until Negi-kun came to teach our English and homeroom, and the way the other girls in the class have just been all over him since day one kind of turned me off from guys.

Anyway, girl hitting on me on train. Standard fare. Makie-chan got hit on by some of the guys from the IHS group, but she swears up and down that they weren't hitting on her. Better for them, that way. At least that meant I wouldn't have to beat 'em up. See, back around and before the Kyoto trip, I had this hugeantic crush on Makie-chan, but I knew better than to say anything about it because I knew for a fact that she was straight as an arrow. (Dammit, even in my own narrations I can't keep that damn ranger out of my head! Hate that one-upping bastard!)

Regardless, things got kinda crazy when they served up our complimentary lunches and all the boxes were filled not with food but these crazy chameleon-looking things with blue tongues. Wait, don't chameleons already have blue tongues? Jeez, guess I should pay more attention in biology… They went everywhere, like a benign version of Snakes on a Plane. (Awesome movie, by the way. Samuel L. Jackson is one of the best actors out there!)

People were freaking out left and right. Me, I really didn't care. Lizards are kind of cool, after all. Katerine-san, a friend and fellow Halo fan who was along as a chaperone, didn't freak out either, nor did the other girl. Poor Makie-chan, passed right out when one landed on her head. She doesn't handle surprises well. Let's see… That was after she accidentally sat in Katerine-san's lap, who was snoozing in the seat next to me, and startled her to the point where she tossed her lunch. No, really. She had a bento that she was holding onto that went airborne when Makie sat on her. And then it landed on her head. Pea soup and all. What a nasty smell. Good thing she had a spare uniform.

Anyway, so after all the mess with the lizards was cleared up, it was smooth sailing the rest of the way to Kyoto. Unbeknownst to me, a lot of the girls who were then partners with Negi-kun were starting to get a bit antsy from all the strange activities, because they suspected the work of enemy mages. All this was related to me much, much later, after the events of Mages vs. Mars, for reasons you'll find out by the end of this chapter of my memoirs.

We reached Kyoto and checked into our hotel. I got put in a room with Hasegawa-san and Makie-chan, and this IHS guy, Claude-san. I…don't think I ever got his last name. Anyway, Claude-san was weird. He was this really paranoid guy who was totally convinced that everyone was out to get him, and he acted like some super spy. He even had a watch that would make him invisible for five minutes! How cool is that!? Active camouflage in the heezy!

Hasegawa-san, being who she is, didn't want to socialize with any of us, and Makie-chan was hungry, so Claude-san and I went down with her to the cafeteria to get some food. Well, Claude-san came later, but still. It was weird that when he joined us, all he had was a candy bar and a Coke from a vending machine, even though we had an entire shabu-shabu set there that we had no problem sharing with him. He's really paranoid about someone trying to poison him through food or something. Come on! We were eating it just fine, no ill effects!

So anyway, after we'd eaten our fill, we settled in for some good ol' small talk, which, being that it was a couple of girls, swiftly turned to romantic interests. I grilled Makie-chan for a while about those guys from the International High School, but after vehement denials she turned it around and demanded I tell her who I was crushing on. Poor Makie-chan, she fired up my competitor's spirit by doing that. I put on the boldest grin I could manage and told her that I'd give her five guesses to name my crush. Since she thought I was straight, I figured she'd never get it. Inside, though, my heart was pounding a mile a minute. I wanted to confess, but at the same time, I didn't want to ruin our friendship.

Her first guess, obviously, was Negi-kun, but that was a quick 'REJECTED!' and she believed it, because she knew how I didn't care for the other girls who were all over him. She started floundering after that, because she hadn't seen me hanging out with any guys, and here's where the trouble came in!

That sly bastard Claude-san, with his dirty deductive reasoning, accurately concluded that my crush had to be a girl! Damn him! He practically wrote down the answer on a big sign and was waving it over his head!

I was really nervous now, but still kind of hopeful that I'd be in the clear; Makie-chan is Baka Pink, after all. Unfortunately, stupid tends to work to my disadvantage more often than not. She made a blind, dumb guess that she was my crush! Busted! I couldn't even run away, because we were sitting in a circular booth and I was in the middle, with the two of them on either side of me!

Of course, it's not in my nature to lie, at least not about really serious things like that. So, with my face about as red as her hair, I came right out with it and admitted that I had a crush on her. I could tell that she wasn't expecting it. Claude-san, though, looked like the cat that got the canary, like he'd predicted it or something. Bastard. I wanted to stab him so bad right then, but I was too horrified to move, because I knew I was three seconds from a great big 'REJECTED!'

And I have to hand it to Makie-chan, she tried really hard to let me down gentle. I've always been and always will be grateful to her for that, and it's probably why we're still friends. It's pretty much an unspoken agreement between us that we don't talk about that part of the field trip.

Then stupid came to visit me again. We're great pals, Stupid and me.

Right about the point as I was sinking down under the table, some kind of friggen explosion went off and filled the entire room with smoke. The surprise of the thing knocked me right on my ass, and all I could think was how grateful I was for a distraction. It didn't even occur to me at the time that the smoke could've been CS or Sarin or VX for all I knew. Fortunately, it was just a simple smoke screen. But from my position under the table, down near the floor where the screen was pretty thin, I could see an unidentified figure running off with another figure tossed over its shoulder, and the running figure seemed to have been moving from where Konoka-san had come in while Makie-chan, Claude-san, and I were eating.

My mind immediately put together that this person was kidnapping Konoka-san! Granted, it was a pretty shaky theory, even though it ended up being right. I rolled out from under the table and came up on my feet, screaming as loud as I could, "Hey! Stop right there!"

The unknown person didn't listen, of course, and in the second before I took off in pursuit, I turned back to Makie-chan and Claude-san and said, "Go get Negi-kun and the other teachers!"

And then I was off like a shot, busting my ass through the cloud of smoke toward where I remembered the exit to be. I've always been good with visualizing spaces, so I was confident that I wouldn't crash into one of the walls instead of charge through the door. And I was right in that regard.

What I didn't anticipate was a luggage cart being pushed directly through my path as I cleared the smoke cloud. Fortunately, I hit the luggage more than the rack itself, and ended up spilling it, the luggage, and myself all over the floor in a neat little pile of fail. The custodian guy wasn't too pleased about it, this blond, probably American, guy who looked like a friggen bean pole, shouting as hard as he could at me in English. I couldn't understand a glorified word. I may not have been the best English student at Mahora, but even I could recognize those weren't polite words.

Oh, and by the way? That one-upping bastard I mentioned earlier? This was him! I didn't know him at the time, and he didn't know me, but apparently I got him fired from that job for running into that cart like that. How's that my fault though!? That's no reason to run around being a vindictive little bastard who one-ups everything I do!

Anyway, this little incident drew the attention of Konoka-san's kidnapper, who stopped and turned back, giving me a good view. It was this woman in a big monkey suit. We're talking theme park amusement costume here. I've seen a lot of really weird stuff in anime and manga, but this was a special kind of retarded.

So this monkey woman turns around, does this obnoxious nasal laugh, totally with the hand up under her chin and everything (idiot!), and then she says in like the most annoying voice in the long, sad history of annoying voices, "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! This is your rescue attempt? How amusing! Since you've got so much energy to burn, I'll let you play with these guys!"

So she pulls out these two paper charms, and we've all seen these things, those little prayer things that they have at the Shinto shrines, and throws them toward me. Stupid paper charms or not, an obvious threat is still an obvious threat, so I dove to the side, expecting them to explode or something. It turns out that all they did was pop into a burst of smoke and release a giant stuffed monkey and teddy bear.

Wait, what?

I wish I was kidding. Giant stuffed monkey. Giant teddy bear. Came out of those little pieces of paper like she'd summoned them. This was seriously strange. Like, at the time, it was seriously blowing my mind and I couldn't even think about it. Which was why I did the totally smart thing and grabbed one of those little travel cases that you keep toiletries in that had spilled from the luggage rack and was about ready to give that monkey a Halo-style beatdown.

"Yuuna-san, wait!"

Recognizing Negi-kun's voice, I paused before bringing back my arm and stepping into the monkey's range and looked back, to see the little teacher coming down the stairs as fast as he could, his 'walking stick' in hand and accompanied by the girl from the train, Katerine-san, and Claude-san and Makie-chan. Katerine-san was armed with a sword, a giant black claymore almost bigger than her. The girl from the train was carrying a yumi longbow and quiver of arrows.

"Oh, looks like the reinforcements have arrived," the monkey woman said, then looked dead at me. "Maybe we'll get to play next time, little girlie."

Wrong. Thing. To. Say.

See, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's someone acting all haughty and superior when it's pretty damn obvious that they've got no business acting like that. And for a woman in a monkey suit who kidnaps middle school girls and makes giant stuffed monkeys and bears do her fighting for her? Yeah, there's no business at all trying to talk tough. All that woman did was piss me off.

I growled and took off running for the woman, intending to go right between the two giant toys and knock the living daylights out of her. Unfortunately, they were a little better fighters than I gave them credit for, and the monkey stopped me in my tracks with a sweeping club of its arm that sent me flying, right into-you guessed it-the luggage rack that that guy was just starting to sort to rights again. I don't think he liked me by this point.

"Yuuna-san!" Negi-kun called out as Katerine-san jumped down the stairs to engage the two stuffed toys, and he came over to check on me, leaving the girl from the train to start firing arrows from where she stood. "Are you okay, Yuuna-san?"

I pulled myself out of the pile of the luggage rack and suitcases; that time I had hit my head on the rack; and looked down at the boy teacher. "Yeah, I'm good. Don't worry about it."

He nodded, visibly relieved that I wasn't terribly harmed. Now that I got another look at the monkey, it was obvious it had some nasty claws that could've opened me up like a fish. I was lucky. "Please, stay here and try to keep things under control here."

I almost hit him in the face. It took a visible act of willpower to not bring that travel case up and smash it into his face. But I reminded myself that he didn't know me well enough to know that when challenged, I don't quit until I'm dead or I've won. And he didn't know me well enough to know that that damn monkey woman had challenged me.

So I reigned in my temper by counting slowly to five in my head, then calmly exploded, "Screw that! We've gotta catch her before she gets away!" Naturally, I would have called her 'that bitch,' but I reminded myself in time that I was talking to a ten year old.

And without waiting for him to argue, I took off again, only this time I had the advantage of Katerine-san and the train girl tying up the enemy combatants. I slipped between the two stuffed toys with a knee-slide, turning back toward the monkey and clapping my fist into the crook of my elbow. Then I was up and into the night.

Negi-kun, bless his little soul, soon caught up with me. "Yuuna-san, how do you know where they're going?"

I shrugged and kept running, scenery whipping past faster than I could catalogue it. "I don't, but think, Negi-kun. What's got direct access to the hotel?"

He was silent for a moment as he tried to think, then his eyes lit up. "The train station!"

"That's a bingo!" I shouted in broken English.

"Umm, Yuuna-san, you just say 'bingo.'"

Huh. Well, you learn something new everyday. "…Oh."

"Hey, wait up!" a voice called out from behind. Coming up fast were Katerine-san and the train girl. Sure hadn't taken them long to take out those things. They caught up with us, and Katerine looked ahead toward the train station. "So, that's where we'll be fighting them, huh?"

"Yeah, looks like it," I answered. "I sense a trap. Next move?"

The train girl grinned and interjected. "Spring the trap." I don't know if she picked up on the Star Wars reference or not-you know, when Anakin and Obi-Wan landed in the bay of the Invisible Hand and were talking about Dooku and traps?-but her grin suggested she did. She stuck out her hand. "Forgot to introduce myself on the train earlier. Name's Kobayashi Hotaru."

I turned and looked back at her, the weirdest bit of trivia flashing into my head. I just suddenly remembered the Battle of Sekigahara, and that Tokugawa's entire strategy had depended on this Kobayashi guy to suddenly betray the Western Army because he'd threatened him. No wait, that guy's name was Kobayakawa. What the hell? That was a weird divergent train of thought. Getting a better look at her, she was about as tall as me, maybe a sneeze taller, shoulder-length brown hair, kind of average rack. She wasn't necessarily spectacularly-hot, but she was cute in that moé kind of way, distractingly so.

Uhh, sorry, what was I saying? Oh, right. I shrugged off the distraction and shook her hand. She had a strong grip, but I expected that from an archer. "Akashi Yuuna," I answered. "Good to meet ya."

"Likewise," Hotaru-san answered, giving me a smile that made my heart skip a little.

I turned away towards Katerine-san, more to try and stop that fluttering than anything else. My fellow Halo player did me the honor of not noticing my flushed face. "So, let's take this nice and slow," the university-level girl said.

Nodding, I moved to the far left of the path and advanced at a crouch, taking cover behind a support pillar wide enough to fully conceal my crouched form. I carefully scanned the platform for any signs of enemy movement, or traps, but couldn't see anything. A glance over to Katerine-san showed she didn't see anything either, then she turned and waved Negi-kun and Hotaru-san up.

Hotaru-san took cover behind my pillar, positioning herself to look around the other side. Across the entryway, Katerine-san and Negi-kun conversed in whispers that I couldn't hear. After a few moments, most of which were spent on my part carefully scanning the surrounding environment for any concealed firing positions of potential enemies, Negi-kun carefully moved out of cover and started to advance along the platform proper.

And promptly fell on his ass.

He proceeded to flail about for a few moments before he managed to grab hold of a bench leg and pull himself back toward the pillar, where he then pulled himself upright. "That was strange," he said. "It's like I didn't have any traction."

Katerine-san looked in deep thought for a moment, then looked over at me and said, "Yuuna-san, throw something from that bag out there."

Nodding, I reached into the travel bag and pulled out a small hand razor, which I tossed out onto the approximate location that Negi-kun had fallen in. As soon as it hit, the razor took off like a shot, sliding across the surface of the platform.

"As I thought," Katerine-san muttered, then reached into one of the pockets on her clothing and produced a small flashlight, which she tossed across to me. "They've trapped the floor of the platform with some concoction that produces a frictionless surface. Likely a mixture of very fine-grained powders. Springfield-sensei, a good wind should disperse it."

"Oh, yes, I could, but, um…" The glance he gave back in my direction wasn't as discreet as he had thought it was.

"Don't worry about that now," Katerine-san admonished. "We don't have time, if we're going to rescue Konoe-san."

"Y-Yes, very well," Negi-kun answered, then moved back out to just before where he'd fallen before.

I looked over at Katerine-san and raised the flashlight. "And this is for?"

The older girl shrugged. "Surefire E2D Executive Defender," she said. "Self-defense light. Sixty lumens of illumination, bright enough to blind someone temporarily who's not expecting it. Both ends are hardened to be used as striking weapons." She pointed to the travel bag I carried. "Better defense than that."

"Sh-shut up…"

As this was going on, Negi-kun was muttering something in a language I didn't understand, and then he thrust his hand forward and a strong gust of wind suddenly blew through the plaza, though there was no obvious visible effect that I could initially see.

There was a reaction though, in the form of the inimitable thwip of a suppressed rifle shot, which struck Negi-kun in the chest and launched him backwards onto the stairs leading up to the plaza.

"Negi-kun!" I shouted, echoed by Katerine-san and Hotaru-san's "Springfield-sensei!" They killed him! I couldn't believe it! Those bastards killed him!

Or at least, so I thought. It came as quite a relief when he groaned and reached up to rub at the spot on his chest, writhing in pain. Seems that they shot him with a rubber bullet. It seems they were at least trying to avoid fatalities.

"Yuuna-san!" Katerine-san called. "Did you see the shooter?"

I shook my head, an irrational sense of shame filling me that I hadn't managed to detect the shooter. Katerine-san played Halo with me a lot, and she knew I was famous for spotting hidden snipers. But then, Halo and the real world were a whole lot of different.

Hotaru-san broke cover to assist Negi-kun, to which Katerine-san warned, "Be careful, they probably still have line of sight."

As if prophetic, a second suppressed shot was fired, but Hotaru-san's reflexes were incredible. She spun around to face the incoming shot, but before she could do anything else about it, she slipped on the last stair and fell flat on her ass, the rubber bullet bouncing harmlessly into the distance.

Incredible reflexes? Eh, maybe not...

As I had been turned to watch Hotaru-san manage not to get shot through either skill or incompetence, a flash occurred behind me, and when I turned back to see what had happened, I found myself staring into a semi-translucent ice-wall that stretched across most of our platform, barring our progress. In the heat of the moment as it was, I didn't stop to ponder how a friggen six-foot-wide wall of ice just appeared out of nowhere.

What I did do was recognize a superior position of cover that offered not only protection but visibility. Unfortunately, there was a lot of open ground between that wall and me, and a sniper I still didn't know the location of. That meant it was time to rely on good ol' Sun Tzu. Specifically, all warfare is based on deception.

I rooted around in the travel case until I found what I was looking for: a metallic silver can of shaving gel. It didn't really look like a flashbang grenade, but I only needed the enemy to assume it was one for a few seconds. Flipping the can in my hand, I reared back and prepared to throw it, calling out, "Banger out!" as loud as I could, and then hurled the can over top of the ice wall.

I was counting on two separate assumptions to fall into place here. First, that the enemy would assume I really was throwing a flashbang grenade, and look away to protect themselves from the blinding flash. Second, that I was an amateur given a nonlethal munition to use, having seen a billion and one war movies and video games, and therefore thinking it good practice to announce the throwing of a nonlethal munition.

Regardless, the die was cast, and I was up and running as soon as I had thrown the can. I dropped to my knees as I reached the perceived edge of the frictionless surface, taking advantage of that situation in order to reduce my exposed area as well as take less time to get behind the cover of the ice wall. Apparently, my ploy had worked, because I managed to get to the wall without getting shot at.

From my new vantage point, I had a better view of the station, and could see Konoka-san's kidnapper boarding a train further down the platform. I related this information back to my comrades.

Hotaru-san moved forward toward my position, deliberately provoking the enemy to fire at her. Realizing what she was doing, I kept my eyes forward, waiting for the telltale flash of the rifle. The sniper took another shot, and I spotted the bastard, hiding beneath some kind of tarp in the rafters of the station.

"Katerine-san, got him! Twelve o'clock high, in the rafters!"

The chaperone drew a pistol from a tactical holster, and the design of the weapon prompted a double-take from me. "Is…Is that an M6!?"

Katerine-san nodded and sighted down the perfect reproduction of the Halo 2 pistol, firing an incendiary shot that set the sniper's cover ablaze. "Reproduction I got from my university club," she answered, watching for any sign of the sniper fleeing his burning position. She saw no movement, so she probably plinked him in the process of setting his cover on fire. "You should join when we get back. I'm sure you'd enjoy it."

Hell, if they gave her a Magnum for being in the club, I bet I would like it. I grinned. "Yeah, I'll check it out. Now come on, we've gotta stop that train!"

Both Hotaru-san and Katerine-san were up and moving forward, carefully navigating the cleared areas of the platform. "Yuuna-san, stay behind with Springfield-sensei, please," Katerine-san said. "I've sent for backup."

I didn't argue her. I was still a civilian, after all, totally not prepared to fight the way they were. Keeping the tactical flashlight close at hand, I wandered down to where Negi-kun had been sat down on a bench, his shirt off and a big angry red spot on his chest where the rubber bullet had hit him.

He looked at me mournfully as I approached. "I'm so sorry to have gotten you involved in all this, Yuuna-san," he apologized.

I waved off his concerns. "Don't worry about it. I was there when they kidnapped her, so there was no way I wouldn't have got involved anyway." This brought back a reminder of what I had been doing when Konoka-san was taken, which prompted a sigh. "I could use the distraction anyway…"

"Did something else happen to upset you?" he asked. I wouldn't call him perceptive, as I was radiating a feeling of crap at that point.

I thought about telling him for a second, then wondered how he'd react to knowing one of his students was gay. He seemed to be raised in a rather prim and proper, black-and-white world, after all. After a moment's consideration, he didn't need that kind of issue on his plate. Poor kid would probably try to help solve all my woes, anyway. I smiled faintly and shook my head. "You're too young to understand."

By that, he seemed to take it to mean I was referring to matters of the heart, which, indirectly, was true. And he was smart enough to know that he wasn't experienced enough to help me there. So he just gave me a brave little smile and said, "Well, if there's anything you'd like to talk about, you can always come talk to me."

Well, he gets credit for trying, at least. I shrugged, then pointed to where he'd been shot. "Enough about me, Negi-kun. I think you've got enough to deal with right now. So just lay down on this bench and take it easy."

He nodded and laid down, bowing to my authority on the situation, and I sat down on the ground and leaned back against the bench, looking back up toward the platform, and the ice wall that was still there.

Now that the main combat was over and adrenaline was beginning to abate, I could start thinking about things more clearly. That giant monkey and that giant bear that just appeared from nowhere when she threw out those two paper charms? This big wall of ice? And that stuff Negi-kun did by saying a bunch of stuff and waving his hands? It sounded like magic and fairy tales to me. I probably would've been more freaked out by this stuff were it not for the fact that I was a gamer and was exposed to this stuff on pretty much a daily basis.

Though, in my experience, a teddy bear and a stuffed monkey are about the lamest summons in pretty much any universe. And yet they beat me. Man, that was totally a boost to my already-low esteem. Even not being a real fighter wasn't enough of an excuse for me.

And then there was Makie-chan. I couldn't avoid thinking about it now, not without anything going on to distract me. Fucking Claude-san. If he hadn't said anything, she would've never figured it out. I tried to pin the blame for my rejection on him, but that didn't stick for too long. I just couldn't get past the bottom line that Makie-chan was straight, wasn't into me, and now probably thought I was a total freak. I sighed and then bit my lip, lowering my head to hide my eyes beneath the brim of my olive green Halo 3 hat so that no one could see the tears that I could feel forming.

Right about that time, Katerine-san and Hotaru-san returned, empty-handed. Negi-kun sat up slightly, noted their expressions, and said, "I take it then, that they got away?"

Both nodded. Katerine-san explained, "We tracked where they took the train using the station, and called in some expert trackers to follow their trail. They won't escape for long."

Negi-kun nodded. "Well, that's good news at least."

It was, but now I felt even worse. Not only had I gotten rejected by Makie-chan, I had utterly failed to do anything to save Konoka-san. Standing up, I walked back up to the platform, approached the ice wall, stared at it for a moment, and then started punching it as hard as I could, repeatedly, trying to cover my inner pain with physical pain.

I didn't realize I'd been followed until Hotaru-san caught my elbow on a draw back. I glared back at her, angry for interrupting me, and briefly thought about turning to hit her. But she hadn't done anything to me, didn't deserve for me to lash out at her. So I grudgingly sagged, indicating that I was willing to stop hitting the block, and wrenched my arm out of her grip.

"Let's talk, Yuuna-san," she said quietly, putting an arm around my shoulders and leading me to a bench nearby. She gently pushed me down onto it, then sat beside me. "Now, what's wrong? You're not so upset just because we didn't rescue Konoka-san here."

Unlike Negi-kun, I actually could talk to her. She was my age, or thereabouts, and I suspected that she was of the same, shall we say, alignment, that I was. So I decided to talk. "I'm just one big damn failure," I muttered. "First I got backed into confessing to my classmate Makie-chan, which I got rejected, and then Konoka-san gets kidnapped right under my nose, and I get beat by that damn monkey, and now we came all the way here and I couldn't do anything to stop that monkey-suited bitch."

Hotaru-san shook her head slowly. "That's not true, Yuuna-san," she said. "You were very helpful here. Your spotting that sniper saved us a lot of time. If you hadn't been here, that sniper would've held us down for long enough for them to jump trains and get away. Thanks to you, we can track them now. And, that trick with the shaving gel can was very clever. I don't think I would have been able to think of that one."

I shrugged, uncomfortable with all the praise and, due to my state of mind, unbelieving of it. "I only thought of it because I'm an unrepentant gamer loser with no life outside of games and basketball."

"There's nothing wrong with that," she said, smiling. "I'm a gamer, too, though I tend to favor strategy and role-playing games." She tapped a finger against my hat. "I can see you probably prefer shooters. But that worked out well, because it makes you more accustomed to tricking your opponents on an individual level."

I didn't say anything to that, just looking toward the ground in the direction away from her. Unperturbed, she gave me what was intended to be a comforting hug. It didn't achieve the full affect she desired, but I wasn't unmoved by it, either. At the moment, though, I just didn't feel as though I deserved the attention.

"And I know how bad a rejection can make you feel, especially from a girl that you like," she said softly, confirming my suspicion that she was, at least, bi. "Though, I haven't quite been backed into a confession, so I can easily imagine that you must feel much worse for it." Her arms still around me, she gave me another squeeze, then said, "But if it makes you feel any better, I think that you're a great person, and very attractive. I know you'll probably be a while in getting over Makie-san, but when you are…" She smiled, then leaned in and kissed my cheek. "…Come look me up."

By now, I was as red as a goddamn fire truck. As I've already made abundantly clear, I found her physically attractive, and she had a damn good heart, too. She was right about it being too soon after a rejection; my heart still hurt just thinking about Makie-chan, but I was definitely going to take her up on that off-

Right about then was when my train of thought came crashing to a halt, due to, as I was later told, Negi-kun double-tapping me with a sleep spell and a memory erasing spell. So the remainder of this little part of my history will have to be told in third person, as I gathered from the three who were there in the process of writing this little autobiography.

And you can bet I kicked that little bastard's ass for breaking up that scene!

April 28, 2007
Arashi Hotel Train Station, Kyoto, Japan
2018 hours, local time

Katerine grabbed Negi by the shoulder as Yuuna and Hotaru slumped to the bench, asleep from Negi's spell. She leveled the full intensity of her glare on the child teacher, tightening her grip on him as she snarled, "What the hell did you do that to them for!?"

He shrunk backwards nearly ten feet, bumping into one of the healers that had arrived with the support force. "I-I'm s-sorry, Katerine-san, but I had no choice! They saw so much magic!"

There it was again. That goddamned magic versus mundane rules bullshit that Katerine absolutely detested. It was taking all her willpower not to reach for her blade. "So? At significant risk to their own lives, they came out here to help us rescue Konoka-san, and if not for them, we'd still be pinned down by that sniper, and we'd have absolutely no means by which to locate and recover Konoka-san! I think letting them keep their memory and just swear them to secrecy would be the least we could do for them in exchange!"

"Katerine, calm down," said a new voice. Both she and Negi turned to see another college student, and Katerine's boyfriend, Koike Fujimoto, having arrived with the support force. "It's out of all of our hands. Yuuna-san's father gave Springfield-sensei explicit instructions to keep Yuuna-san away from any events involving magic that might occur, and to promptly erase her memory of these events should she stumble upon them. It's to keep her safe and protected from her heritage, as per her mother's final request."

Katerine scoffed. "Her father? I've seen Akashi-sensei around, and he strikes me as a total screwup. 'Protect' Yuuna-san, he says." She sneered. "Sounds like a copout attempt by a father too wrapped up in his own work to give a shit about his daughter, to me."

Koike looked Katerine in the eye, and the young woman saw regret deep in his gaze. "Yuuna-san is my friend as well, Katerine-san, and I don't like it any more than you do. Unfortunately, we have to respect her father's wishes."

Sighing, Katerine looked down at the basketball gamer and her newfound friend, whose sleep looked anything but peaceful. "So what'd you do, Springfield-sensei?" She spoke the honorific title as though it were a foul-tasting foodstuff. "Erase her memory starting from the moment she saw Konoka-san get kidnapped?"

The boy mage nodded fearfully. "Y-Yes, from there up until n-now."

Katerine's lips curled in disgust. "Wonderful. Then the last thing Yuuna-san will remember is getting rejected by Makie-san. And the adrenaline from the fighting will probably leave her with the residual sense of failure on top of that." She turned to glare at Negi again. "You probably just scarred her for a long time by erasing her memory like that. So you're going to keep an eye on her for a while, and if she has any lingering depression or acts completely unlike herself, you better report it to me right away, otherwise you're going to answer to me." The swordswoman shook her head. "Protect her, indeed. You'll be lucky if this doesn't scar her for life, Akashi-ojisan."

Negi felt compelled to make one last attempt to appease the angry girl. "I-I'm really sorry that I had to do-"

Turning on him, Katerine silenced him with a glare. "Just stop. Do what I asked you to do." She looked Negi dead in the eye, and warned, "But mark my words, Negi Springfield. If you ever do something like this to her again, I'll cut you to pieces and mail you back to England."

Of course, I still don't believe that Katerine-san really said all that stuff. I mean, that's just not her. I've only ever heard her curse like, three times since I've known her. But both Katerine-san and Negi-kun swear up and down that she really said it all, and Negi-kun, even to this day, still gets terrified when I ask him about it. I mean, I'm not doubting that she went off on him, because she's really prone to doing that. I just don't believe she really cursed like that.

And for the record, the tracking teams that Katerine-san called managed to find and rescue Konoka-san that night, though they didn't get her kidnapper. Of course, the bastards turned right around and kidnapped her again the next day, and used her for some kind of summoning ceremony for this four-armed, two-headed ogre god demon thing, but I wasn't involved in any of that. Katerine-san made sure to steer me well clear of all that nonsense, and I remained blissfully unaware of magic again up until Mahorafest.

Unfortunately, that damn memory erasing on Negi-kun's part made me also forget about Hotaru-san's offer to look her up once I was over Makie-chan, which took me about two weeks. I know that it doesn't sound like that big a deal considering what all went down during and after Mages vs. Mars, but come on, that was like a full month and a half that I was single when I totally didn't have to be.

Oh, well. Still and all, that first night of the field trip was the turning point in my life. It was the deciding factor that turned me from the path of remaining mundane and unaware of things, and set me down the path of adventure and craziness that I've lived my life by since then.