He hadn't kept his eyes off of her.
Not since she had returned to him, his Belle. Not when she was wandering amongst his shop, or playing with his many antiques. Not when she was getting ready for bed, or when she was undressing (or when he was undressing her). Each morning he prepared tea for her and watched her as he poured her a cup in a very much non-chipped teacup, analyzing her movements, her expressions. No, only when he had to, when it was absolutely necessary, did he shift his gaze. Sometimes on accident, when he would just stare off, as if remembering a time when things were different. Sometimes on purpose, when the tinkle of bell at the front door rang across the small shop, indicating that an unwanted visitor had arrived to steal him away from her.
At first, she dismissed it as him being fearful that she would walk out again (though he'd never admit it), the way sometimes he'd come over and brush a piece of hair out of her face, or would stay by her side until she fell asleep, unwilling to be the first to go to bed. "Sleep is a waste of my time, dearie," he had told her with a wave of his hand when she protested the first time, telling him he needed to rest. "There are more important things to attend to in the dark of the night," he said with a toothy smile that said, you will not win this fight.
But now... now, as she laid sprawled across the red armchair in the back of the shop, a book called "Knowing Mythological Creatures" pressed uncomfortably close to her face, her eyes scanning each line with admirable absorbtion, his gaze felt like it was burning through the very pages she read. This time, it was not one of repressed fear.
It was one of worry.
After a good thirty minutes of feeling as though she was being held hostage by his stare, she finally slammed the book closed and met his gaze with a fierce one of her own.
"Alright, you've been staring at me long enough," she said, setting the book down and crossing her arms.
Mr. Gold raised his eyebrows at her, immediately masking his previous expression with one of ignorance.
"I'm sorry?" He quieried.
"You. You've been looking at me like I'm some lost puppy who keeps chasing after her own tail," she retorted. "What's wrong with you?"
He frowned briefly, but then shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Nothing, dearie," he lied.
"That's not true at all!" exclaimed Belle, pushing herself up from the couch and storming over to him. "I can tell when you're lying to me. I'm not stupid. Something is up, I can smell it." She said, giving him a triumphent smile. He stared at her blankly for a moment before sighing and releasing a small, sad grin in return, his eyes searching her for something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Gently, he placed his free hand that wasn't leaning on his cane on her shoulder and nodded towards the door.
"Tell you what, I'll make you a deal. Why don't you go out for a bit? I have some... business to get done. You can stop by Granny's. I hear she makes the best hot chocolate around," he said, his voice persuasive and just a bit seductive, as if there was something tempting to be met outside the doors of his shop. However, Belle sulked, shrinking away from his touch and giving a timid look towards the doorway that led out to the front of the shop.
Furring his eyebrow, Mr. Gold shot her a perturbed gaze.
"What's wrong, dearie?"
She barely heard him, her stomach churning at the thought of setting foot outside again. She had done that once before... twice, really. Once when she had been released by a strange man who came off a bit mad, and again when she had walked out on him. She still remembered it, the pang of fear that coarsed through her. She never experienced that kind of lost feeling before. Even when she had been sent away with Rumpelstiltskin, she had a certain peace about her decision. She did not worry for herself. She always knew she would be fine. But this time... the mere thought of being out there, alone. Knowing no one but feeling as though she should. Set apart from all the others, recognized only as Mr. Gold's best kept secret. The object of their staring, as if she were about to burst with some odd black magic and consume them all with a green Rumplestiltskin behind her cackling like a madman.
Once, she could say she was brave. But now... there was a reason she had not left the shop again since she returned. It wasn't just for him; for his benefit and safety.
It was for her own.
As though he were reading her mind, she felt fingers lace through her own as he squeezed her hand, causing her to break from her thoughts and look at him confused.
"You're scared, aren't you, dearie?" He asked softly.
Belle didn't nod, her gaze returning towards the doorway.
"You know, I still remember..." she began, a sadness in her voice she didn't intend. "I remember what it was like to be a princess. To wear big gowns and dresses and... and to have all the books I could ever want. I went anywhere I desired, and wherever I went everyone knew who I was. Some of them... some of them thought I was a bit odd, you know. I wasn't the social type, I suppose. But... they were kind to me regardless. And... that all changed when I went with you." Mr. Gold frowned, his grip around her hand loosening. "You can leave whenever you want," he muttered darkly, but Belle shook her head quickly, looking at him with big, apologetic eyes. "No!" She yelled, "that's not what I mean. No, never. I would never trade that life for the one I had-have-with you." Mr. Gold didn't seem convinced, looking at her with reproach. But she gave him her most sincere smile, and that appeared to relax him. "It's just... I don't feel like I belong here," she explained. "Or, rather, out there... I'm alone. And... as much as I'd like not to admit it... it's a bit scary, yes - because I don't... I don't remember what it's like to live." Her eyes became downcast and her smile faded. "I was in the dark for so long... every day. Every single day, I was there. And even though I have all my memories back from my old life, my real life... that doesn't mean I've forgotten the ones made for me here."
She didn't like telling him this. Not because she didn't think he'd understand, but because it meant that she was admitting weakness. She'd gotten used to being the stronger one, both in her family and sometimes even withRumpelstiltskin. Not much could scare her, much less something as simple as going outside by herself.
Mr. Gold remained silent for some time, and after a few minutes he let go of her hand and lifted her chin up, staring straight into her eyes. She could see the fire burning behind them; the same one that appeared everytime he was reminded of what Regina had done to her. He took a deep breath, his fingers trembling slightly.
"You are not a prisoner here," he told her. "This shop is not a cage. There are no bars on the doors or windows. You may leave, or stay, whenever you please. I will never not give you that choice." He moved his hand away from her chin and rested it ontop his other one that was leaning on his cane. "It is entirely up to you, dearie, what you'd like to do. Just know you always, always have a choice." Belle smiled, the weight in her heart lifted greatly by those words. Unable to contain herself, she wrapped him into a tight hug that he hesitated to return, still getting used to this form of affection.
"Thank you," she whispered into his shoulder.
"Anytime, sweetheart," he responded, kissing her temple.
And with that, she thought the discussion had been over. So when two days later, while she was cleaning up the shop (she swears that dust collects around the man wherever he goes), she heard the familiar bell go off from the front of the shop and a familiar voice call her name, she had not been expecting what was to follow.
"Coming!" She said happily, bouncing off the step ladder she had been using to dust the top of the cabinets. Making her way to the front, she stopped dead in her tracts when she saw Mr. Gold standing upright, a wide, toothy grin on his face as a pretty, lacey blue dress laid ontop of the countertop, a pair of red heels next to it and a suspicious looking key she'd never seen before set upon the dress. She gaped at him, staring first at the alarmingly colorful set of clothes.
"What is this for?" She asked, running her hand along the fabric which was surprisingly soft to the touch. "Well dearie, you are a princess," he said happily, nodding towards his gift. "Time for you to dress appropriately." She raised an eyebrow at him, sending him a provacative grin. "Oh, really?" He laughed. "Yes, really. Now why don't you go try it on? I think you will find it very... form fitting." She could hardly surpress the giggle that escaped her lips, beaming as she grabbed the dress and the shoes, leaving the key on the countertop as she left to change, forgetting it in her excitement. When she returned, wobbling a bit from the height of the heel, her cheeks were as red as roses and her eyes could've lit up the room.
"Well?" She twirled around (almost tripping in the process), posing for him. "What do you think?"
Mr. Gold breathed deeply, looking her up and down with approval.
"Gorgeous."
She blushed even more, biting her lip at him. This time, she was glad he couldn't keep his eyes off of her.
"Looks like your dressed for quite the occasion," he said hintingly. She cocked her head at him. "And what occasion would that be, Mr. Gold?" She asked, saying his name alluringly. "Well, that occasion as well," he chuckled before pointing his cane at the key that she forgotten. "But first, I think you should see what I've gotten you. A present, I think, you will find suiting."
Giving him a curious smile, she reached for the key, excitement building up in her. However, when she read the ingraved word on the small, round attachment, her smile was replaced with a look of bewilderment.
"It says, Library," she mumbled, memories rushing through her head of all the times she had gone to the library back in her castle and also in Rumpelstiltskins. It was her favorite place to go to get away from it all, to escape into the neverending stories that awaited her with every new page she turned. She hadn't been to a library in... well, a very long time. But what, exactly, was he up to, giving her this?
"Yes it does, dearie," he quipped. "I went through quite a lot of trouble to get that key. It opens up the town library in the middle of the square. I hear there are many books written about the history of this world and ours. Though, our world is considered fictional in this one." He added.
Belle stared at the key, moving her thumb slowly over the words.
Library.
Oh, how she desired to go to one. To run away into that land again. She could already hear the books calling to her.
But...
"That means I'd have to leave," she realized, eyes wide.
"Yes, it would seem to get to another location you would have to leave the one you're currently in," Mr. Gold chided, but Belle ignored his sarcasm, entranced by the key in her hands.
But then, she raised her head up and smiled.
"Thank you," she whispered, her eyes beginning to mist.
"Don't thank me yet, dearie," he said. "Afterall, what good is a gift if it isn't used?"
She laughed. He really did mean best, despite all of his evil, there was still good in him. She knew that. She had always known that, even before she began living with him. Perhaps he was a monster, but she would never see him as such.
It took her awhile before she mustered up the courage to go outside again. He had stayed with her through every minute, talking with her and occasionally hinting at how wonderful the library must be and how many books he knew she would just love to sink her teeth into. Eventually, though, she found herself infront of the front door, peeking out at the town through the glass.
It felt like all her life, in this one and the past, she had been stuck always looking through the glass. But this time... well, this time, she would be on her own. No guards, no father, no lover. Just her, her blue dress, and the key to a world she knew she would never fear. She knew, as her hands felt the cold handle of the door, that she had always wanted to be brave. This was her chance to prove it to the person who was the most important out of all - herself.
So when she stepped out into the sun, the clouds rolling over bright blue sky, the town all a hustle and bustle - she took a deep breath. She held her key tightly in her hand and she walked, one step at a time, towards the middle of townsquare. He had written her down instructions ("I don't want you getting lost in those heels, dearie," he said, winking at her) but she did not bother to take them. If she was going to do this, she would do it completely. Perhaps she did not enter this world as privledged as the last, but it was no less of an adventure to be persued. And when she saw a stranger walking what looked like a dog on some sort of leash pass by her and giving her a smile, she returned it whole-heartedly with no fear in her heart of what he might think of her. Because she knew, deep down, that she was, afterall, a very patient, and very brave, princess.