| I've messed up a long free-talk with some explanations points "
Disclaimer: I do not own Skip Beat! or any of its characters, those are property of their rightful owner: Nakamura-sensei and her publishers.
1- My hard-drive is threatening me, so I am posting this before I had in mind.
2- Excuse the cheesiness. This follows my previous and only fic (in here) What I Was Thinking?
3- I am trying to see what happens 'after' sorry for making up plain characters and situations
4- I will try finishing it soon, if my hard-drive lets me. I'll be fixing that next week, sorry.
5- Thanx for bothering to read this part, I cannot promise the fic will be good: this time is longer and at some points I just skip on things that perhaps should be more developed.
6- OK I shall leave now, and publish this. |
Kyoko Mogami was travelling back to Tokyo, sitting in another Nozomi. She had insisted she could travel in a current express, or take a simple Hikari… but Kuon had insisted she should take the fastest train to get back home safe and sound. At her arrival, she would be picked up by a company car and, before going home, she'll meet the president.
Kyoko was a little bit nervous, not knowing what his reaction would be. Would he be mad? Or would he be simply disappointed because she had dared to start a relationship with his top star? Whatever it was, Kyoko's memories from the last week and half wouldn't go away even if the president scolded her and intended to make them break up.
Kyoko's memories flew from the moment he had confessed his feelings, to when they had finally stepped out of his bed:
"What made you say all those horrible things about yourself?" she had finally decided that maybe he needed to confide it to someone else, someone that could trust him and believe he wasn't a monster. And she had been the first to refuse to believe he was what he claimed to be.
"I grew up in a world filled with adults, and I wasn't treated as the child I was Kyoko" they were eating the food that the housekeeper had prepared for them. She couldn't stop looking at those little golden roots that kept betraying Ren Tsuruga's façade "When I came here and I met you, I felt I could do anything…" she felt flattered, Kyoko's memories of Kuon were something precious, but she'd never thought he would appear again as him "But when I came back to the United States, as I grew up, my life got more complicated. I was being rejected because I wasn't completely American, and the person who took me in, Rick, was the leader of a gang" Kyoko tried not to be scared, but the image of her fairy prince becoming an underdog of someone like a gang leader wasn't amusing "Rick transformed me into someone who could only feel anger and rage, someone who would take all those feelings of rejection and use them to hurt. I fought, I beat people to the extent of leaving them unconscious… and then, one day, while I was trying to catch someone up, Rick went after me. He was hit by a car, and died" Kyoko felt the pain of his eyes while he was giving on the details "I always believed I had killed him. His girlfriend called me murderer, and that's how I saw myself ever since" Kyoko wanted to speak, but he had something else to say "That let me in shock. I couldn't speak for a while, nor feel… my parents didn't know what to do with me. I don't know how but I resumed my dream of becoming an actor, and because I couldn't escape my father's big shadow, I came here. Lory Takarada is an acquaintance of his, and he took me under his wing" Kyoko had figured out that part of the story already, since she had seen the president making comments on him from time to time "I came here still carrying part of Kuon's wildest nature, and it took me time to polish myself into Ren Tsuruga… I think you already know the rest" he became silent.
"That is why you told me we couldn't keep in touch, because you were going to the US?" Kyoko had remembered the last time she had seen the younger Kuon "That must've been really tough" her eyes were teary, as she was seeing the days he had been fighting and being such an underdog "You fell into the wrong hands and escaped in the cruelest way" she said out of pity "I guess we kind of have similar troubled pasts" her sight lowered.
"What do you mean, Kyoko?" she had always avoided explaining anything about her own past. But he had been so honest, that she couldn't just lie about it now.
"You knew how my mother treated me" Kyoko had already told Kuon that her mother was strict "She was never satisfied with me, she had never time for me, and she didn't hesitate to leave me at the Fuwa's Ryokan" she was opening a wound she rather not touch "And I thought about the Fuwa's as my saviors, but I also became too dependent and too submissive, because I didn't want them to kick me out too" Kyoko didn't dare to look at him "I think that I put all of my frustrations into the reasons why Sho treated me as a maid. I used them as one more excuse to repel love" she felt ashamed of herself.
"Perhaps" he sounded worried "I've shouldn't have forced me into you"
"No!" Kyoko raised her head, and his face couldn't hide the surprise of her answer "I was already thinking about all those feelings. I thought that being in Love Me section was about making people love you and, so far, I've managed to make some friends appreciate me, and some colleagues too…" Kyoko's eyes were sincere "I just needed a push to realize all the misery I was putting myself through, was because I felt useless for not being able to help you, and because I couldn't stop thinking about you, I kept denying what I was actually feeling" she lowered her sight again "I was scared".
Kyoko felt how Kuon's hands reached for her face, to dry the small tears that she was shedding "We have so many things to be scared off" he said "We're not current people who can freely date" Kyoko knew that already "But while you're here, let's just forget about all that" he kissed her to erase her fears.
They had spent the day relaxing, watching some TV and simply cuddling. Kyoko felt like she could never have enough of him. The next days, she had talked to him about Saori's role, and she had started to read the script.
"There's going to be a couple of male leads" he said.
"Are you jealous already, Tsuruga-san?" she teased, of course he didn't like the possibility of her being near other male who could hint at her. But Kyoko didn't see herself as someone who could be of interest "There will be other female main characters. Mine is just the one that's expected to be the group's leader, no love interests predicted" she smiled "However, depending on the success of this drama, I might get a new role, one that will possibly have a love interest, Tsuruga-san. And as an actress those roles will eventually come, don't you think?" Kyoko hoped that he could understand that part of her. After all, they had become closer because of their jobs "Aren't you going to support my goal to be a great actress anymore?"
"That's not it" he protested "I would never try to stop your career, I do believe in you, Kyoko. But I would lie if I say I am comfortable when you get exposed to other men like this"
Kyoko didn't answer. She knew that they wouldn't be able to make their relationship public. They had spoken on that the day before she took the shinkansen back to Tokyo. He was famous already, and even if it could cause a scandal, his image wouldn't be as damaged as hers, since Kyoko was an aspiring actress, it could be seen as an attempt to take advantage of Ren Tsuruga's fame. There was also, the fact she was still in High School. He wanted to wait until she had graduated, and that would take longer than they both wished.
"You haven't asked for my help regarding Saori's character" he had told her three days after she had arrived there.
"Oh" she saw a little sign of disappointment in his eyes "I think I've got her figured out. Saori is someone from a common but non-poor family. Is not like she can have everything she wants, but she lives well. Her situation at home is fine, and she had four brothers who have taught her to be strong. She is not an open person, but she's friendly inside. She communicates in a weird way, because she's rather quiet, but she knows how to make her be respected. She is someone who cannot stand injustices, so she gets involved when she sees the newest girl of the school being bullied, despite she's a year older, and since she's already pals with the most feared boy in their school, they start their own circle. They keep appearing as the leads as the drama proceeds, always meddling into any troubles that overcome the students"
"And you know how you're going to play her?" Kyoko suspected that he was afraid she couldn't get rid of the bully role.
"I have a small idea" she smiled confident "She reminds me of someone I know. She could be Moko-chan, I only need to add in the gentle attitude and instead of appearing always angry, make her be mysterious" his jaw dropped "Are you surprised?"
"I am" he said "I envy you. You progress so fast" he confessed.
Sitting in the train, Kyoko grinned as she replayed the days she had spent intimating with the man she had fell for. She wasn't a fool. She knew that everything they would face from now on wouldn't be easy. But she couldn't help but feel the small victory of overcoming her hatred for love at such a fortunate time.