There are different types of drunkards in this world. Happy drunks, dancing drunks, cursing drunks, depressed drunks, horny drunks, suicidal drunks, and many more.
This is what Reborn helpfully noticed as he watched an intoxicated Colonello run around the bar, kissing any unlucky woman or long haired man he could get his hands on. I wonder what type of drunkard Tsuna is?
A few hours later, Reborn left a bar with a knocked out Colonello (he was punched by Squalo in the face) and plans on how to torture Tsuna.
KHRKHRKHR
"What the hell did you do to Jyuudaime?" Gokudera watched in horror as his beloved Jyuudaime sang along to the karaoke machine, ever so slightly off tune.
I'm walking on sunshine…
Whoa…
I'm walking on sunshine…
Whoa…
And don't it feel good!
Tsuna had, at this point, dropped the mike- thank god- and was beginning to do that weird American shuffley dance. Reborn watched, amused.
"I wanted to see what kind of drunkard Tsuna was. So I warmed up some beer, told him it was soup, and made him eat it." Gokudera stared at Reborn in horror. "Shouldn't you do something to help your boss?"
"Ah! I'll get hangover medicine for Jyuudaime."
Gokudera quickly left, leaving Reborn and Tsuna alone, the latter doing a boogie to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
"Ne, kid, why did you call me here?" Yamamoto peeked his head into the Sawada household. "That."
Yamamoto's eyes widened as he took in the spectacle Tsuna was making. Currently, he was yelling at the television for being too loud. "Stupid TV… why won't you be quiet…" He was obviously drunk. "I'll go get some medicine for hangovers."
Reborn chuckled as he watched Yamamoto leave. That role has already been filled…Oh well. Gokudera will tell him later. Rather violently, too.
"Herbivore. I have received complaints about… What the hell is this?" "Oya, oya, I'm not sure, but it looks like Tsuna got drunk."
Reborn tilted his fedora over his eyes. "It's true. He is drunk. Hibari-san, please refrain from biting him to death as I was the one who tricked him into drinking." Hibari opened his mouth to complain but was silenced by Reborn. "You can bite him to death when he's not intoxicated. It'll be more fun." Hibari closed his mouth. It was a fair deal.
It'll also be more painful, Reborn mentally added. What? Did you seriously think Reborn was being nice? Pffftt….
"Um, Mukuro-sama? Can you please knock Boss out? His song choice is kind of… disturbing." Chrome shyly peeked out from behind Mukuro, pointing towards the Vongola Decimo. Three sets of eyes followed her finger to the source of her blush.
When I walk in the spot, this is what I see
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show, show it, show it,
I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT.
Tsuna was doing a very suggestive dance, rotating and shaking his hips while singing along to an equally suggestive song.
Mukuro put a gloved hand over his face, trying to hide a bright pinkness. Hibari looked away, his face seeming to have a healthy glow, or a faint blush. Chrome burned bright red, not even trying to obscure it.
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah!
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah!
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah!
Do the wiggle, man.
Apparently the twist is the new wiggle. Or vice versa works too.
Hibari and Mukuro sat down on the couch. "What are you doing?" squeaked Chrome. "Getting blackmail info." "Making sure the herbivore doesn't do something too stupid."
Chrome sighed and sat down in between them, just to prevent any fights.
"Baseball freak, I already got him hangover medicine!" "Haha, but this one works better. When people get drunk at my dad's place, he always gives them a pill or two of this before sending them off." "Who cares what your dad does?"
Gokudera and Yamamoto walked in, wrapped up in a more or less one-sided argument. Gokudera quickly shoved two medicine boxes at Reborn before storming away to check on Tsuna.
Tsuna had somehow gotten ahold of nail polish and was quietly painting Chrome's fingernails. Mukuro leaned over to look at a flower design he was creating. "That's nice, Tsuna." Tsuna smiled. "Thanks. You're next, by the way. I hope you like Flashbulb Fuschia." Mukuro blanched while Hibari laughed. "And Hibari gets Sakura Pink!" Their roles reversed.
"I'm leaving." Hibari stood up; trying to escape his fate, but Tsuna stopped him. "Sit back down. NOW." Hibari's butt reacquainted itself with the sofa.
Gokudera laughed at the sight. "Damn, that's pathetic!" Tsuna ignored this statement, temporarily leaving Mukuro to guide Gokudera and Yamamoto over to the sofa. "I can get to you guys eventually. You'll just have to wait." Gokudera quit laughing and Yamamoto glared at him for getting him dragged into Salon de la Drunk Tsuna.
Salon de la Drunk Tsuna gave the following manicures that evening:
Chrome: An azure color with a flower design on each finger.
Mukuro: A hot pink with a pineapple painted on each of his thumb's nail.
Hibari: A pastel pink with a Hibird on each thumb.
Gokudera: A neon green with a flower on each finger.
Yamamoto: To everyone's envy, he just got his nails trimmed and a clear coating.
After Yamamoto's manicure (he was last) Tsuna passed out. Gokudera threw a blanket over him before leaving to buy some gloves. The others filed out, on a mission to buy mittens or gloves. (None of them thought of nail polish remover, except Chrome, who kind of liked her nails as they were right now. Yamamoto decided that he didn't need gloves or mittens since he lucked out on clear polish. His nails would just look shiny for a while.) Reborn concluded that Tsuna was just a regular drunk person who simply got a bit more weird and bold when intoxicated.
The next day, as Tsuna struggled to get through school due to a hangover, he tried to remember what had happened. He also wondered when Hibari got his nails painted, who wasn't wearing gloves or mittens because the store only had pink ones, and because he puts the 'man' in 'manicure.
When he asked, he got 'bitten to death'.
This is hopefully a oneshot. This story took a while for me to write, even though it was fun. I really don't want another idea to pop up and demand another chapter. I'll leave this as 'in progress' for now.
Also, can anyone guess why Squalo punched Colonello? XD