I placed my forehead against that horrid barrier keeping me from the most beautiful woman in my life. Sadly I slid my black gloved hand downwards against the wood, "_, please let me in," I whispered. A white cloud escaped my lips as I let out an exasperated breath in the cold winter weather. Holding a package of homemade rye bread with one hand, I wrapped my long coat tighter against me. The black fur lining rubbed against my chilled cheeks and I hoped that _ would open the door.

"No!"

Hesitating, my throat tightened. "I-I brought you some bread. It's nothing much," I glanced down at the wrapped loaf, "but I thought you'd like it."

"Belarus, I don't want any of your favors! Go find someone else!" She shouted.

"But I made it especially for you."

"And I don't care!"

The urge to try breaking down the door flooded throughout my body. It was as if I would die if I continued to suppress my feelings. Gritting my teeth, I closed my eyes as my muscles twitched hoping that it would go away. I thought about sunshine. Sunshine shining brightly upon a field of flax flowers. And in that field stood an angel. _. Her soft (hair color) flowing in the gentle wind as she smiled upon the sight of the field. My my, I wonder if she'd run away from me if I came any closer. Just one step…One chance. But when I saw the frown she made when her (eye color) eyes looked at me, I stumbled. Fell.

What was I to her? Why did I matter? The cold winter air nearly froze the tears sliding down my cheeks as I held the rye bread loaf against my chest. Everyone seemed to frown upon me, I didn't want _ to be part of that. I wanted her to welcome me. To take me to her heaven where we could be together out of love. Here I am. Standing on her front porch crying because she was just like Big Sister. Anya pushed me away. Whacked me with her shovel. _..._ called me a monster. A monster from the depths of Hell. That wretched word has torn me apart many times ever since that day. Such a label! Such hatred put into that word! No one wanted to be around a monster. Monsters are meant to be alone. Or dead.

I placed the bread on the welcome mat and walked away. Soothing myself, I slipped my fingers through my chin-length silver hair, only to have it fall back to framing my face. Cold air wrapped itself in my chest as I continued to take in deep breaths to try calming down. Days like this were common for me. Too difficult to become used to. Dear angels, why can't I be accepted? Why am I a-a monster? Counseling was the Hell you have given me and I have been doing well. Years of being told what I have done wrong in my past has broken me down to nothing. I'm bare. Everything about me is in plain sight. My joys. My hurts…

So I whipped out my cell-phone only to realize I had no friends. Tch. As expected. People are afraid of monsters. There is one person I know, but definitely not my friend. Daina used to have a "crush" on me. I never returned her love for _ means more than life to me compared to her. After explaining that, I told Daina that Andzelika loved her and that she hasn't noticed it for years. My thumb shook as I wondered if I should press the "call" button or not.

Quickly pressing it, I held it to my ear while continuing my walk.

"Sveiki?"

"Daina, it's me, Nikolai-"

"Nik? I never thought you'd call me!" She let out a sigh of relief, "It's good to know you haven't forgotten about me since-"

"Please shut up."

"Okay."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, "I need your help."

(Your POV)

Damn he was annoying. Always asking me to marry him. To be his loving wife. I never wanted to be part of his obsession. Belarus used to go after his older sister when we were younger. Anya would cry out of fear of him and run as fast as she could to get away. After a while, he turned to me. For some reason I became the number one choice when compared to his sister. What I didn't understand was why the change? Why me? Did I deserve this? I have always wanted to be married, but to someone such as Belarus, never. He stalked me. He loved me. He needed some mental help. Calling the police solved but a little bit of the issue a few years back but that didn't stop him from trying to ask for my love in return for his. Filing for a protection order did nothing. Belarus was the government. Keeping me here in his nation. A prisoner.

My boots crunched the snow underneath as I took a walk in my backyard forest. Icicles hung from the branches, threatening to fall but of course they never did. Light snowflakes drifted around me and I shivered when a few landed on my face. Brushing them off with my glove didn't prevent the cold touch spreading through my body. It was freezing and yet I was covered with as many warm winter clothes as I could. I let out a sigh, wishing that the weather would become warmer soon.

Staring at a frozen lake, I began talking out loud. "When will I be free? Will there ever be a day when my hero will take me away from this frozen Hell?" I laughed. Such fantasies were common for me to imagine as a writer. If it hadn't been for my imprisonment, I wouldn't be typing up stories that will never become published. "Has Fate decided to punish me for no reason?"

"I don't believe so."

I whipped around to see Belarus stand a few feet away from me. His ahoge moving slightly from the breeze. Those ice-blue eyes staring straight into my soul.

He leisurely walked forward, "Do you not like it here?" Belarus reached out to tip my head up slightly, "Am I not your Prince of Winter?"

"I prefer the warmth," I muttered before shoving him away.

"Of course you forget that I can give you that."

"Give me my freedom instead!"

"…Please don't shout," Belarus whispered. After years of counseling, he's become more of a quiet person, someone who preferred reasoning. "All I want is to talk."

"You know that I want nothing to do with you."

(Belarus' POV)

Taking out a bouquet of flax from my overcoat, tied together by a single white ribbon, I held it out to _. She kept her gaze on me as she slapped my outstretched hand aside. Seeing the flax lying on the snow would've angered me but I kept myself calm. It was expected from an angel to not accept a gift from a monster. A desperate one. My lower lip began to quiver until I bit it, wishing I wasn't so weak towards that word. Monster.

_ smashed her boot on the flax, "I've had enough, Belarus! Can't you see that?"

I was sorry that I couldn't give her more. That my nation was slowly losing money and depending too much on Russia for trading. Sure I wasn't as worse off as my older brother, Heorhiy. The Ukraine definitely needed help. Feeling awful, my eyes lowered to stare down at my leather boots. _ continued to rant and I listened willingly. Daina, being a friend of _'s, told me that I should use moment's like this to learn to become a better lover. Knowing that _ liked flax was the main reason I brought the bouquet for her. I did bring the engagement ring too, but I kept that safe in my coat pocket just in case _ became even more upset.

"And I hate you! Hate you more than anything!"

My eyes watched her angry expression as she said more. That urge came back. The one that made me want to shake _ and yell at her if that was the only way to make her understand how much I love her. How much I care. Anya told her things to turn _ against me. My feelings for _ are real. And they've always been that way. Realizing that my sister hated me, I had to accept it. I had to realize that my soul belonged to _, and _ only. But she didn't realize that. No. She ignored the fact that her heart has my name written all over it. That it belonged to me just as my heart belonged to her. Forever.

"You used to be innocent!"

Busting doors…Carrying knives…Hurting people…

"A good person!"

Threatening Anya…Nearly killing Heorhiy…Harming myself…

_ grabbed my coat and pulled me forward, "Then you became a monster!"

I shook so hard at that name. My eye twitched and my gloved hands balled into fists. Gritting my teeth, I focused on _'s eyes. Wanting to lose myself in them before I caused her any real harm. Scaring her would only make things worse. Tips to restrain this anger ran through my head but I couldn't focus on one. The wonderful field of flax drifted out of my thoughts and focusing to get it back hurt.

"See? You can't even control yourself!"

"_..." I warned.

"This is another reason why I don't want to be around you!"

"_...Please stop."

"No! I have the right to speak whatever I want!"

Tears welled in my eyes, why did she have to hate me so? I tore her hands away from my coat and turned away. Lengthening our distance apart. "If you don't want me around, so be it."

And that was that.

(Your POV)

Belarus was never seen afterwards by my eyes. I never had to rush into my house just in time to avoid him. I never had to be scared to leave my house. It was as if he disappeared from my life. Everything was normal from here on out. People were still afraid to be around me just in case my presence lured Belarus to come. Hopefully the after-effect would go away though.

One night I was walking outdoors for fresh air. A bitter temperature nipped at my skin so I kept myself bundled up in my thick winter jacket. No one was to be seen from where I was except inside buildings, I would be too if it wasn't for my house's crappy ventilation. I turned a street to walk on a road in between a road of businesses and a river down below. My gloved hand trailed upon the railing keeping people from falling in as my brisk pace slowed down. It was a beautiful night, with the stars and a full moon up above. Such a calm felt good to be in.

Then I stopped at the sight of men pushing out one drunken man from the Riverside Bar. Quickly I stood in the shadows hoping that the man who was kicked out didn't see me.

(Belarus' POV)

"Become one with me, yes?" I shouted. When I saw the door slam shut, I grumbled some incomprehensible words. Irritably I walked towards the railing with a bottle of vodka in one hand. "Stupid fucktards…"

Watching the river flow beneath me didn't help my pounding headache. Angrily I tossed the bottle far into the distance before it slipped into the fast paced water. With no way of finding any means to get over _, I bit my lip. If I died, I would never be able to see her again. But it would make her happy. Isn't that what counts? Daina said so. If _ was happy, I should be too.

Quickly I began climbing over the railing, my heart pounding fast. "For _..." A crazed laugh briefly left my lips and a wide grin spread across my face. "For _!"

Then someone pulled me back, "Belarus! Don't do it!" A woman shouted.

"I must! I must! _ would want me to!"

"Belarus! I am _!"

"You don't understand!" Angrily I got distance from _. Pulling out a revolver, I held it to my head. "If I'm not alive, you'll be happy! I want you to be happy!"

"Put the gun down."

Shaking my head, my finger prepared to pull back the trigger.

"N-Nik…Nikolai! Put th-the gun down!"

She said my name.

"Please, Nik! Please!"

I couldn't believe it.

"Nikolai! You'd be doing more wrong than good!" _ cried.

She was sobbing uncontrollably…

"I shouldn't have yelled at you! I-I should've appreciated you from the start! You aren't a monster, Nik!" _ swallowed hard, "I care too much about you to see you dead!"

Dropping the revolver, my hand shook. I would've walked over to _ but I threw-up instead. My head swam from the alcohol and I was ready to pass out any second. Then _ tilted my head up and I cleared my throat, "I love you, _."