SNB: Ok, now, this is my first fanfic, or as I like to call them, Fuff's. (Fucked up fan fiction)
It is set it the world of kuroshitsuji, and many will find it not even vaguely funny. For it is just utter stupidity and silliness. Now, let me introduce the character despite you already knowing them all. (If you don't know all these guys, then get out of this fuff. You wont get the references if you haven't seen the real thing.
Ciel: Stop being so tedious!
SNB: Okay okay- Now, as you all know, I am SebbyNoseBleed- I am the creator of this Fuff, and I have terrible punctuation and incoherent thoughts. I apologise for both in advance.
Sebastian: My bo-chan is becoming impatient, I suggest that you continue with the introduction.
*Smirks evilly* Or else...
-Grell's genitals explode-
Grell: ARHHHH, SEBAS-CHAN, YOU'RE SO CRUEL!
Sebastian: ... He's in this story too?
SNB: I live to torment you Sebby. o_O
Grell: *Hanging off sebby's arm* Your eyes glimmer with rage! *He shivers* MAH SEXY MAN SENSES ARE TINGLING EVEN HARDER NOW!
Ciel: My life... o_-
Alois: Don't forget about me!
Ciel: ARGH! WHY DO YOU WANT ALL THE GOOD CHARACTERS TO BE SEXUALLY HARASSED!
Alois: I'm a good character...
Everyone: O_o (Sorry to Alois fans, I don't really like him but he's good for comedic purposes)
Alois: Claude, I'm a good character aren't I?
Claude: O_o Your highness, I have disliked you ever since you surprise buttraped me.
Everyone: O_o
Ciel: Why am I not surprised that that actually happened?
Alois: Cielly-Poo! I'm so glad we are in this Fanfic together, we will have so much fun!
Ciel: Not everyone is a man-whore.
Sebastian: Bo-chan, I believe you are secretly a man-whore too, however, unlike Alois, you fail to embrace your true self.
Claude: I agree, *smiles creepily* (He actually just wants to see Ciel in a slutty costume)
Ciel: That is not true!
Sebastian: Well, lets test this then, *hands Ciel slutty halloween cat costume* if you enjoy wearing this, you are a man-slut if not, then you were right.
Ciel: Sebastian! You just want to see me in a slutty cat costume!
Everyone: :/ No duh.
SNB: Wasn't this supposed to be an introduction? Instead it just branched off into a conversation about Ciel's secret manwhoreness.
Alois: Claude! Give me my minutely leg massage!
Sebastian: Why do you need a leg massage every minute?
Alois: My shorts are so tight that they cut off the circulation in my legs. *Slut-Pride* I really work hard to make those constant booty shots worthwhile!
Ciel: is that an achievement to you?
SNB: AGAIN WE ARE OFF TOPIC! Lemme just introduce you all now! Over here in the black tailcoat, we have this super sexy milksop ninja piece of hot shit Sebastian Michaelis
Sebastian: I believe you are mistaken, I am no ninja, I Am merely one hell of-
*Cuts him off*
SNB: And over here we have-
*She is stopped by the sound of Sebby suffocating*
Everyone: WHAT THE FUCK?!
Ciel: OH NO, SEBBY DIES IF HE DOSENT GET TO FINISH HIS LINE!
*Choking sounds*
SNB: NOOOOOO NOT SEBBY THE STORY WON"T WORK WITHOUT HIM BECAUSE YOU OTHER CHARACTERS ARE WEAK AND UNCOMEDIC WITHOUT HIM!
Undertaker: (when did he get here?) He can be saved by CPR.
Grell: THEN I, THE SELF-SACRIFICING GRELL SHALL SAVE HIM!
*Grell presses him lips to Sebastians and doesn't do any CPR at all.
Sebastian: *choking* Ciel...
Ciel: OH MAH FAHCKING GAWD.
*Ciel thinks, what the hell and dives in to do CPR on Sebby*
*Sebastian starts kissing him and Ciel finds out that all his breath is back*
SNB: HAHHHAHHHHAHAHAHAhHAHAHAHAhHAHAHAH SEBBY NEVER NEEDED CPR! I JUST TRICKED THE PRUDISH MAN-WHORE IN DENIAL INTO GIVING FANSERVICE!
Ciel: NURRRRRRRRRRRRRR
SNB: Can you blame me? Dese fucking weird-ass readers need hot Sebby Ciel scenes.
Ciel: That wasn't hot, you went into no detail!
SNB: SHUSH! too much Sebby/Ciel right away makes it lose its heat you idiot!
Ciel: then what was the point of...
SNB: SHUSH CHILD!
Ciel: ARGHHHHHHHHHH I am surrounded by morons.
Undertaker: You sounded like a pirate just then.
*Ciel turns to look at him with an absolute death stare.*
Ciel: Never, ever, call me a pirate.
Everyone: HAH, PIRATE
*Ciel silently fumes with rage*
SNB: Ok, so thats Sebastian, now, this pirate looking one here is Ciel.
Ciel: NOT A PIRATE!
SNB: *Ignoring* And over there in the red-
Ciel: YOU WILL NOT IGNORE THE EARL OF THE HOUSE OF PHANTOMHIVE!
SNB:*continues to ignore* -is Grell Sutcliff. Who no one likes.
Grell: SHUDDAP, I AM BOOTIFUL AND TOTALLY FEMALE.
Everyone: Keep dreaming...
Sebastian: Why with the transphobia?
Grell: SEE, Sebas-chan loves me.
Sebastian: No I don't,
SNB: YOU ONLY LOVE CIEL *fangirl shriek*
Sebastian: I love no one..
Ciel: I'm not gay.
Everyone: ... Silence for full minute.
AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAhAHAHAhHAHAHAhAHAHAhAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAhAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAhAHAhAH
Undertaker: OHMAHGARD , WHEW, heh.
*Everyone still stifling giggles*
Ciel: Seriously?
SNB: Ok, despite the hilariousness of Ciel's denial of his inner gay-man-whore. We should continue with introduction! here with the awesome hair and creepy smile we have the undertaker.
Undertaker: I rape children's dead bodies.
Everyone: O_O
Undertaker: what?
Ciel: That wasn't a funny line.
Undertaker: None of you were funny, it least I was honest.
Everyone: O_O
SNB: Ok... moving on we have Alois Trampy- I mean trancy!
Alois: Ule! *Alois goes up to Ciel and twerks in his face*
Ciel: AARRRRGH, NOT APPRECIATED!
Sebastian: for some strange reason, that just gave me a boner.
Everyone: What? O_O
Claude: me too, lets go into that dark soundproof room to discuss our urges.
Sebastian: I enjoy discussion.
Grell: I COMANG WITH YAH.
Sebastian/Claude: No.
SNB: And the pedophile who just left with the other pedophile is Claude.
Ciel: That took forever, you really cannot stay on topic can you?
SNB: Heh.
Ciel: Imbecile.
AND SO THAT CONCLUDES THE FIRST CHAPPIE! It wasn't really a chappie though, more of just an intro. The next one will be better. I hope you enjoyed this collection of utterly retarded randomness! Sorry this was so short, you can only write so much for an introduction right?
Until next time!
Sebbynosebleed.