Beautiful & Dirty - Pokemon Generation IV

"There are some occurrences in life where the universe tells you out-right what is need by you, that all the pieces will be in place and all the stars in the sky will shine when you finally accomplish this great task. What you need isn't ever hidden from sight and that the world will tell you what your purpose is.

Oh, bullshit."

As I sat on the cold steel of the examination table, I read over my beautiful work of angst and teenage dispense on a repeat in admiration. This was the last journal entry required of me for my over-due stay at Sunnyshore Orphanarium, the kids of Sunnyshore were given the cruel punishment of keeping notes and journalizing their mundane lives. I've read many of these journals over my four-teen years here and most of which consist of the normal day-to-day lives of the residents: waking-up, doing whatever mundane chores assigned to us, going to bed, end of page. It was a simple system. So simple, in-fact, I've seen many children driven to madness from the repetitive and molasses-like pace of the house, one of the many reasons I was eager to leave. I luckily was not one of the ones so unfortunate.

The orphanage had never mistreated me, nor did I have any direct aggression towards the people who ran the place. To be more honest, it was the solitude. To be in the grandest and wealthiest city of all of Sinnoh, you would think the opportunities would be endless. And this would be true in any other situation, throughout all of these years of looking through the metal gates of the orphanage, never had I'd been permitted to leave the premises. This obviously left me with curiosity. I was at first frightened of the outside world, then intrigued by it. Television and news would show me images of the land outside of those bars and with every year I grew older the more that I would yearn for the the feeling of the sun in the streets of Sunnyshore.

Now I was eighteen, too old to be supported by government money any longer. I had been properly educated and developed manners and proper etiquette over my stay at Sunnyshore and I was as prepared as I'd ever be for the real world. I didn't know how I was feeling, somewhere between fear and anticipation. As soon as I got out into the world I would need to find a job and a place to stay as I was informed ahead of time that the state would not give me a parting check like they did in most cases.

Someone would walk into the room a few moments later to obtain my journal, evaluate my mental health and later another to evaluate my physical health, and I would be off into the world with nothing but the clothes on my back and a few possessions I've had since infancy.

I would be going out there into the big, beautiful, horrid world without any guidance or protection. I'll have no one to comfort me or to soothe my bad days. No one to help me when I'm down or to keep me warm. I wouldn't even have a place to stay, but at least I'll be free. To suffer out there is to die of old age after a great war. It's to live after all of the suffrage and torment of the four walls of my old bunk room. I would have my one and only freedom ahead of me.

I look at the Sunnyshore Orphanarium entrance in fear, but also anticipation, as I view this gateway as an end. To my isolation. To my ignorance. And to my captivity.

As this last door between me and the outside world will be the end of this novel and the end of my story, it will be the end of my suffering…

Right?