Felicity looked down at the glittering diamond on her left hand. If she was honest with herself she had always thought that this was too good to be true. Her mind going a mile a minute she remembered something she had read once about why the ring went on the left hand. Something about how there was a direct vein from that finger to the heart. Funny enough she could feel the weight all the way to her heart.
She couldn't stop the tear as it silently slipped past her lid and started sliding down her face. Her hands were shaky as she removed the ring from her finger and placed it on the table.
She heard the door creak open then heard Oliver say, "Felicity?". He had only whispered her name but somehow it felt like there was so much more in it.
Felicity slowly turned around and saw Oliver standing there. His face was hard to read with the shadows dancing across his face from the dimming light coming through the large windows.
"Oliver I thought I would be gone before you got back."
Oliver started to say, "Fel...", but Felicity threw up her hand to stop him before he could say anything. She was afraid if she let him say too much she wouldn't be able to say what she needed to say. The pain etched on his face was like a knife to her already bleeding heart.
Felicity steeled herself and spoke with what she hoped was firmness, "Oliver I just need some space right now. I need time to think and being here with you I can't do that. It's like you're the sun and I have to orbit around you. I need to be free from that. Just for a little while."
A sudden display of emotions swept across Oliver's face as he took in what she had said before he said bluntly, "What do you mean by a little while? Is it completely over or?".
Felicity squared her shoulders and looked Oliver straight in the eye before saying, "Oliver right now I want to hold off on the wedding. Right now I'm angry and upset. You didn't trust me enough with..."
Oliver cut her off mid-way through by stating with an anguished tone, "Felicity I explained that..."
Felicity couldn't hold it in any longer. Everything she was feeling the hurt, the betrayal all came bubbling up to the surface as she half-screamed, "Yes, I know. I just..." Felicity let out a long sigh, "I just want some time please give that to me Oliver. I think you can do that."
Felicity sucked in a breath waiting for his reply. She didn't think he would respond but finally he gave a small dip of his head in a slight acknowledgment. Felicity released the breath she had been holding waiting for his reply.
She had to get out of the loft. She had to get away from him. She was already starting to feel the pull towards him but she needed to think. She just needed some time to think.
Felicity started towards the door and Oliver shot his hand out and held onto her wrist. Felicity instantly came to a stop. She listened as Oliver chocked on his breath before pleading, "Please don't go".
Felicity tugged at her hand and Oliver gave her no resistance as he released it. Felicity felt every callus on his hand as it rubbed against her skin. She couldn't stop the sudden flash of memories that sped through her mind. Suddenly she remembered them in bed, in the shower, on the floor over by the fireplace. The shiver that came over her was unstoppable.
Felicity finally was free of his grip and she continued to the door without looking back because she would be done for if she did. The tears started to gather in her eyes more ferociously and as she reached the door she said swiftly over her shoulder, "Goodbye Oliver."
Felicity shut the door behind her and walked a short distance down the hall before she just stopped. She felt drained. Her heart pounded so loud her ears were making that weird swishing noise. She leaned against the cool wall. She just knew that Oliver would come storming through the door at any minute ready to continue this. But when Oliver didn't come busting through the door after she stood there for several minutes Felicity's legs gave way and she slid down the wall. She leaned her head back and just let the tears fall. She didn't even bother trying to stop them.
Her mind was full of so many thoughts. She was angry and she wished could scream but if she did she knew Oliver would come storming to her. She was hurt. She wanted to pull her hair and punch him at the same time. Her heart felt like it had exploded into a million pieces inside of her chest. However, more than anything she was disappointed. Disappointed that Oliver felt he couldn't trust her enough to tell her about his son. Disappointed that he felt he had to lie to her. HER! Of all people Oliver should have known she was the one person in this world he never had to hid his true self from. That was the knife that wouldn't stop twisting in her chest.
Felicity wanted to hate him she really did. But she just couldn't do it. She felt she had every right to hate him now but mostly what she felt was sadness. Suddenly her mind flashed one of her favorite movies 10 Things I Hate About You and she remembered when Kat had said, "but mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all". Felicity had never understood that line until this very moment.
Felicity sat there unmoving just staring at one spot on the opposite wall for far too long. She finally decided she needed to get of the hallway she looked like a lunatic. But where was she going to go? She could always stay with Thea or even John and Lyla but she really just wanted to be alone right now with her thoughts. She didn't want people hovering over her asking her how she felt or how she was doing. She decided to check into the Ivory Rose Hotel. She would order a ton of food but mostly chocolate and wine. She would soak in one of their huge tubs and have some time to herself to think.
While lying in of the plush robes and in the large bed of the penthouse suite Felicity couldn't help but think there were perks to running a billion dollar company. But no matter how fluffy the robe or delightful the bed Felicity was miserable. She might as well have been wearing one of those horribly itchy sweaters and lying on a bed of jagged rocks. She was used to curling up to Oliver's strong form at night feeling his warmth surround her. She had grown accustomed to falling asleep listening to the sound of his heart beating in his chest. She had tried turning on the TV to break the silence but it only irritated her because it wasn't the same. Felicity curled up in a ball and looked out the large windows of the penthouse suite and saw that it had started to rain. She watched transfixed as the water trickled down the glass. She didn't know what tomorrow would hold for her or Oliver but she would face it with the steely strength she knew she had.
Felicity finally started to drift asleep while watching the rain cascade down the windows and as tears slid down her face. It had to have been her subconscious but Felicity let out a soft, "Oliver" right before drifting off into a restless sleep.