Author: The Wayward Angel
Story: Daddy
Word Count: 535
Chapter: 1/1
Pairings: None
Spoilers: None
Trigger Warnings: drabble, feels
Summary: John may have put the weight of the world on Dean's shoulders and never even noticed it until it was too late.
Disclaimer: Nope.
Unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. Please feel free to point out any grammatical or spelling errors.
Daddy
John knows that he's put a lot on Dean since Mary died. He knows he's forced his eldest son to grow up too fast. He knows he's made him become Sam's mentor, his protector, his guide…but he never realized that he was placing the weight of the world on Dean's shoulders by making him into a parent as well. Dean's only eleven years old, Sammy just about to turn eight, when John finally notices.
It's dinner at some crappy diner in the middle of some craphole town in Missouri. Sam's picking at his pot roast with a grimace, pushing around the food.
"Eat, Sammy." Dean says, taking a bite of his cheeseburger.
"Can I have the salt daddy, it doesn't taste so good." Sam says, frowning at his plate.
And it's in that moment, when both John and Dean reach for the salt shaker, that John realizes just what a big mistake he's made. Dean gives John an even look and John's hand retreats. The elder brother takes the salt shaker and hands it to the younger.
"Thank you." Sam says, his voice soft. Maybe even he, at such a young age, has realized the magnitude of what has just occurred.
'I'm so sorry, Mary.' John thinks, his mouth set into a firm line, 'This is never the life I wanted for them.'
Dean and Sam finish their dinners without another word.
John pays the check and ushers his boys back to the Impala, piling them into the backseat where Sam lays his head on Dean's lap and falls asleep. John looks into the rearview at Dean, watching his son pet Sam's hair gently as the younger boy sleeps. Dean looks happy, almost reverent, as he watches his younger brother.
"Dean…" John says but trails off.
"Sir?" Dean replies, raising his eyes, his face hardening. His soldier face.
John cringes internally. He's ruining these boys, but he doesn't know what else he can do. "Never mind." John shakes his head and looks back to the road stretching on in front of them.
"De'n." Sammy mutters sleepily from the back.
"S'okay Sammy, it's nothin'." Dean says in return, his voice soft and gentle. Parental.
John never wanted this. He never asked for this. But what's done is done, and he can't change what has happened, nor will he change the course he has plotted. He will destroy the thing that ruined their lives. He knows Dean is strong and can handle this, being a son, a brother, and a father. In truth, maybe he trusts Dean to raise Sam better than he trusts himself.
'I'm sorry, Mary. I'm sorry, Dean.'
End
AN: Found a tumblr post (wincesthaikus) that reads "Fifteen year old Sam
asks "Daddy" for salt. Both Dean and John reach for it. " and I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be daddy!kink but I decided to make something sad instead.