"MARRIED?! What do you mean we're MARRIED?"

Daniel felt a slight stir of panic rise as his voice rose a pitch.

"What exactly is it that you have a problem with understanding? We are married! Hitched, a cord has been tied into a knot, as in having knelt in front of an Ori prior and said I-DO-MARRIED!" Vala looked straight at him.

"A cord? What?"

Vala sighed and gestured with her hands. "Any kind of Earth expression for being married."

"Why can't I remember it?

"How would I know?! If you want a brain scan, ask Sam!"

"I think I should've remembered having married, well, YOU!"

"And what is that supposed to mean? I would be a perfectly phenomenal wife. As a matter of fact, I am! I have been married before you know."

"This can't be happening."

"Trust me," Vala muttered, brushing off a non-existent lint from her shoulder, "This is not really how I had imagined either."

"Imagined?"

"Eh…well, yes, you know, if I were ever to marry, again. I was not speaking about you… specifically." Daniel refrained from giving a reply and looked around. As usual she had distracted him from taking in the surroundings. Some thing was very wrong. He was not wearing his glasses and he could not really focus on anything due to his splitting headache, and the fact there was very little light.

"I am not sure what else to tell you. We are married. Deal with it!"

"Don't yell." Daniel rubbed his sore head.

"You started!"

Again he looked around, and tried his best to focus. They were in a small room with barely enough room to manoeuvre with two people in it. It resembles a prison cell. It was a prison cell! He was sitting on the floor leaning against a stone wall. He lifted a hand to rub his sore head and realised that he was chained to said wall, with a thick, heavy chain leaving very little leeway. Not that there was any room to go anywhere. Vala was perched on a small wooden bench attached to the opposite wall in front of him. It was cold, damp and dark except from a candle above a large, wooden door, but it barely gave off enough light, and cast long shadows.

"Okay, one problem at a time. Please. Exactly, where are we?"

"In prison!"

"So I gathered. Why?"

"They imprisoned us."

"Again, stating the obvious. Vala, what did you do?" Daniel sighed. She must have done something. She always did. "Why did they imprison us and why am I chained to the wall and not you?

"I did not do anything, thank you very much." She emphasized, "Honestly! It was YOU! You went berserk."

"What?" Daniel starred at her in disbelief. He considered himself a lot of things, but not violent. He did not go…berserk. Ever.

"You were less than pleased by the prospect of becoming imprisoned, so, they knocked you out, hence, the bump on your head and the chains. She eyed him suspiciously, squinting as if still not believing what she had witnessed, then said in a matter of fact voice, "You were quite hysterical." Smilingly she added, "I did manage to salvage your glasses though."

She got up from the small bench, dropped to her knees beside him and placed them on his nose. "But I think they became slightly dented. Sorry." That was an understatement, but at least he could see her clearly now. She raised a hand to his head to inspect where he had been hit. He winced. "It's just a surface wound. You did not even bleed."

"It hurts like, I don't know what."

"Like you have been hit on the head, perhaps?"

"Don't be a smartass!"

"I am sorry darling, but you must have been hit on the head countless of times by now, and thus far you have survived. You will be fine."

"What are you implying?"

"I am just saying that you have always been a bit…eh… you know…So any damage has already been done. Thick skull." She knocked lightly on the side of his head.

"Ouch!"

"I am sure you have received harsher blows."

Blow this. Daniel closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't care. It still hurts if you poke it!"

Vala leaned forward and said in a seductive voice. "So, being your wife and all, and this being our wedding night of sorts, what would you have me poke, that does not hurt?" Her placed her hand on this thigh and slowly moved it upwards.

"Get off me!" Daniel was starting to feel agitated.

Vala sighed, removed her hand, and leaned back. " I am married to a prude. Who would have guessed? I am starting to realise now why I have never seen you with a woman before. You just, do not, you know, not."

"Don't be absurd."

"But I suppose, that a man in your condition, that do not, you know…"she paused, "it has rendered you more vulnerable, than someone like Colonel Mitchell. What I cannot seem to understand though is how you could have come to join the SGC, not with your…eh…delicate constitution."

"Are you done questioning my manhood or do you want to berate it further? And what do you mean with delicate constitution, a second a go you said I had a think head!"

"Well, that too. They are not mutually exclusive you know."

Daniel sighed loudly as if to calm himself down. "Could we please get back to the point?!"

"What point would that be?"

Daniel tried to rub his temples, but even though he had enough length to stretch his chained arms straight out, the chains were heavy and they chafed. His arms fell back to the floor. He closed his eyes. Worst day of my life.

"From the beginning please. What happened?"

Vala shifted and stretched her legs out, and in the process managed to link her legs with his.

"Do you remember stepping through the gate this morning?"

"No."

"Right. Well, we did, come here I mean. We got married, you started raging, became crazy, then you were knocked out cold and now we are here. In this cell."

"This I already know."

"I though you could not remember anything?!"

"You just told me!"

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh! Could you be a bit more detailed? It doesn't make sense!"

"I totally agree. I do not understand why I was thrown in here with you. I was a sunny as the…eh…sun. Not like you who went on a bloody rampage throwing bits and pieces all around messing up the extremely boring meeting these nice people had set up for us. So, just because I know you, I am apparently guilty by association? That is so not fair!"

"Are you done?!"

"I have not even started yet."

"Vala, please…something must've happened between us coming here and us ending up in prison! What about this meeting? What was it about?

"I was not really paying attention. Sam was talking about some technical thingies, Colonel Mitchell was trying to be polite and Muscles, well, he did not really do or say anything."

"Where were we?"

"Rocks" she sighed, "you found some rocks and Sam suggested that I go with you since my sparkly personality apparently was to, you know, sparkly."

"So, we left the meeting, looked at rocks, then we got married, I got angry and we imprisoned?"

"Yes. More or less."

"And by more and less you are leaving out, what exactly?

"Nothing. At least…nothing important. Daniel, this is not the best time to start doubting me."

"I think it's a perfect time."

"Well, I am not making things up. We are married and in prison and it is entirely YOUR fault!"