True Love Always Prevails... Right?
A/N – This was only ever meant to be a drabble-icious crack-fic submitted to a contest months ago on the Tsubasa Forums. However, I ran across it a little while ago (ie, just now) and decided that it needed to be retouched ever so slightly, lengthened ever so slightly, and then shared with the general public, simply to assure everyone that I am not dead - I just haven't had any good fanfiction ideas for awhile because I've been running with something else, and doing homework (which unfortunately takes precedence). Believe it or not, this came from the prompt-word "collision"; and believe it or not, I do mention it in the story, and not just within the author's note. Do enjoy, although if you are liable to brain-breakage, you might, maybe, possibly, want to click on another fic.
Just kidding, it's only slightly "WTF?!"-inducing. Really.
Disclaimer – I OWN TRC, BIZZATCHES!!!!!!!
... So I'm a compulsive liar. So sue me. (Sigh)
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In the beginning, there was CLAMP. And from CLAMP, a creature white and fluffy and round and small and adorable - and somehow also inordinately sexy - was brought forth, and named Mokona. And everything was good, as well as inordinately sexy. And it came to pass that Mokona became lonely, and bored, even of reading all the smut fics that fanfiction writers kept posting on the internet ("How interesting," Mokona would say, in the midsts of all his pr0n. "Mokona never knew Kuro-rin and Kusanagi had a thing for each other. Mokona should ask Kuro-rin for pointers...").
So Mokona decided to go searching for true love. He searched low, because he was so tiny. He searched high, which was aided by Kurogane freaking out and attempting to throw him into a tree, where he collided with an angry mother bird and had numerous adventures that did not end in true love, which was very disappointing, but did end up in a lot of scratches and wounds, which hurt like hell.
He had trouble searching midways up, unless he sat on Sakura's shoulder, but Syaoran was always suspicious of Mokona's intentions towards his beloved after he caught the white-yet-inordinately-sexy manju reading a Sakura/Yuuko/Mokona threesome fic.
Mokona was growing desperate, and ever more lonely, until the fateful day when Mokona dropped the group through the dimensions and landed on top of the most beautiful person Mokona had ever seen.
His hair was sweeping, spiky, and pointy, a most delectable combination of black and white lending a certain elegance to his strong manly face, with a manly cleft in his chin that only emphasized his manly manliness. His monocle brought out the beauty in his big, expressive, yet cold and beady eyes – or at least in one of them. Mokona was overcome by his stunning looks, even though he had never seen this person before in his life.
"Mekyou!" went Mokona, eyes popping open with the strength of the power of instantaneous love. "This collision of fortuitous circumstances must be proof of my excellent luck with hitsuzen! You are the most beautiful person in the universe, and I am going to make you my bride!"
"WHAT THE FRIGGING HELL?!" screamed Kurogane, frothing at the mouth even as Fai was choking to death on the overload of sparkles emanating from Mokona in an adorable yet inordinately sexy manner. "THAT'S FEI WANG REED, YOU STUPID MANJU! HE KILLED MY MOMMY!!"
"He kept me in tubez for over half of my life!" yelled Syaoran, waving his arms frantically (to keep the excessive sparkles away from his face).
"He... did random bad things to me that made me randomly angst to random degrees of angstiness, even though I look incredibly hot while doing so, and eventually ended in me sealing my king because I didn't want to kill him, but you're not supposed to know that yet because of something called plot!" cried Fai in one very long dismayed sentence.
"Can I plan the wedding?!" Sakura cried excitedly, completely oblivious to the angst-inducing backgrounds of her closest comrades.
"I want to make the dresses!" yelled Tomoyo and Hokuto simultaneously. Everyone wondered where the heck they had come from, and finally decided it was better if some things remained a mystery. Meanwhile, the two fashionistas fell to fighting furiously with each other over who deserved the honour more - at least until they realized how inordinately sexy the other was, and fell to doing something else just as furiously, yet with considerably less pain caused to the other. Syaoran attempted to turn Sakura away, but needed Kurogane's help because her eyes were riveted on the inordinately sexy scene of sexing before her.
Meanwhile, Mokona had been cuddling up to his one true love. "Our love breaks all barriers," the manju declared happily, snuggling down under Fei Wang Reed's oversized coat. He was determined to move their relationship on to the next level, and preferably the next few levels beyond that next level, even though they had only met a few minutes before. That's what every fanon OTP does, after all.
"Neither age nor species nor lack of gender can keep those in love apart!" replied Fei Wang Reed in an inordinately feminine voice, which clearly indicated that regardless of size, manly looks, or inordinately cute sexiness, he was most definitely going to be uke in this relationship. He snuggled right back, although with considerable more difficulty. It is one of the main downfalls when the one true love of your life can sit on the palm of your hand. "I don't care about you being a pedophile, Mokona my little honey cupcake, because I love you so."
"And I don't care that you're a genderless non-manju, darling, because I love you so."
Fei Wang Reed looked shocked, and horrified, and his big, expressive, yet cold and beady eyes started to shimmer beautifully, like a crystalline crystal waterfall, as they filled with beautiful shimmering tears. "I thought you were going to keep that a secret for me, Mokona my dearest little chocolate and vanilla swirled pudding! I'm totally and utterly destroyed!" He ran off, crying his big beautiful crystalline tears of crystal-ness, heartbroken.
"Oh no!" cried Sakura, truly distressed for this sudden turn of events in the about-to-become-intimate-relationship of her dear manju friend and the group's archenemy. "Don't go! True love always prevails!"
Fai patted her arm reassuringly, smiling kindly. "Don't worry, Sakura-chan. Everything will work out just fine. After all, neither of them are Subaru."
"Shut the hell up!" screamed Subaru from where he was angsting in his corner, in an extremely out of character display of bad language and bad temper. But who could blame him? CLAMP had left him angsting on Tokyo Tower, with only the eye of his dead love to console him, for years on end.
However, there were more important things to think about than CLAMP's now-bitter whipping-boy, for Mokona had gone just dashing off after his one true love, and Sakura had returned to watching Hokuto and Tomoyo with signs of envy and occasional suggestive glances in Syaoran's (still very oblivious) direction. Love was in the air... or something was, at any rate, and love by nature must outrank even the angstiest angst-muffin.
After all, it is a universally accepted truth that true love always prevails...
... Unless you belong to almost any given CLAMP canon.