Remus sat slumped in front of one his best mate's grave, tears threatening to pour out of his eyes.
'Here lies James Potter, beloved friend, husband and father.
R.I.P.'
Remus smiled at the grave. There was so much to be said about James, so much that couldn't be said on a cold stone slab. The way he could light up a room with the twinkle in his eyes. The way he knew just when to crack a joke. The way he ran a hand through his jet black hair. The way he wouldn't stop till he got what he wanted. His wife was living proof of that. For five years he had pursued the hot tempered red head until in seventh year she had finally said,
"Sod it all!" and kissed him firmly on the lips in front of a shocked common room.
Remus would often come to his grave after the death of James and the arrest of Sirius. He had no one to talk to, not even Peter. So he had taken to sitting in front of the grave and talk to James. Once Sirius and him were reunited, he dropped the habit, as Sirius was there for him. But now, Remus thought with a dry sob, he was gone too.
'Hey mate," he began.
"I haven't come to see you in a long time, so I'm sorry. I know what you'd say to that. You'd say, Moony my friend, stop bloody apologizing. And every time I'd say sorry."
Remus let out a laugh.
"I remember once we had a fight because you said I wouldn't stop apologizing for being a monster. I ended up saying sorry for saying sorry."
"I miss you mate, and I miss Lily and I miss Padfoot."
He looked up to the sky.
"Are you three up there? Are you looking down on us and smiling? Are you proud of me?"
He let out a shaky breath.
"I feel so lost without you guys. Remember the nights plotting our pranks, and sneaking around in your Invisiblity Cloak? Remember asking Lily out again and again? Remember giving Snivellus hell? I'm glad we did that. He betrayed us. What happened to those days? What happened to the Marauders?"
"You know, when I first taught at Hogwarts, I found out there was another set of Marauders. And I know what Sirius would say to that, he'd say, 'Never, will Hogwarts have pranksters like the Marauders.' But I'll have you know James, they're pretty damn close."
"They did what we always wanted to, but never could. They opened a joke shop. It's the only shop in the whole of Diagon Alley that makes me smile. Fred and George, their names are. You know Harry? Course you do. They're Harry's best mates brothers. The Weasley family, remember them? Red hair and freckles?"
He chuckled.
"I think Harry's fallen for one. The youngest. Gin, he calls her. The whole summer they've been sending each other glances, and Harry's had many a self battle. He's trying to protect her by staying away after Dumbledore's death. Until I convinced him in times of danger, you gotta love with all you've got. I caught them snogging in the Weasley's brookstick shed that very night."
Remus chuckled again, but his expression turned sombre.
"He's so much like you James. What is it with Potters and girls with red hair and tempers? And boy oh boy, has that Ginny Weasley got some temper. She'd give you a run for your money Lily. And she can create one helluva Bat Bogey Hex. You'd like her."
Remus smiled, remembering the story that Harry had told him.
"She's fancied him since first year, and he only realised in his sixth. The dolt was too scared of his best mate, Ron, who's very overprotective of his little sister, to make a move. You Potters like to do things on big scales, don't you? He went and snogged her in front of the whole Gryffindor Common Room after they won the finals!"
"He can fly James. The youngest player in a hundred years. He plays Seeker. You would have made a good Seeker, I reckon. But you always enjoyed being part of the action, right in the centre of it. Harry has patience, he can wait for the Snich to show up, and then, he flies. Merlin does he fly. No offence, mate, but he's even better than you! We never thought it was possible, that someone could outfly the Mighty James Potter, but someone did. I'm just glad it was your son."
Remus wiped away the tears.
"But every time I convince myself that he's more like you than Lily, some odd quirk will jump out at me and make me change my mind. You know he's got knobbly knees? I remember you kneed James in the crotch one day in sixth year, and when we asked you where you learned how to deliver a blow like that, you'd said,'I've got knobbly knees.' And you know how you loved your hair messy James? Remember how you'd run your hand through it to make sure it looked windswept? Harry never does that. I caught him glaring at the mirror one day, trying in vain to tame his locks. He gave up eventually, but I think I heard him mutter,"One day..." It was actually quite threatening."
"When people see Harry, they say,'You look exactly like James. But you have Lily's eyes.' And he does Lily. You can tell exactly what he's feeling if you look into his almond shaped eyes. And that fierce passion to protect those he loves? I think that comes from both of you. He's got quite the hero complexion. He gets that from both of you."
"Harry...you'd be so proud of him. He faced Voldemort when he was eleven, and he still had no idea what was so special about him. He saw someone die when he was fourteen, dammit! Fourteen! And now, now he's the Chosen One. Because of some prophecy a crackpot made when she was high."
Remus let out a sigh.
"Sorry guys, I'll talk about more cheerful things."
But he couldn't. He was sobbing.
"I'm sorry I believed that Sirius betrayed us. I'm sorry I couldn't write to Harry. I'm sorry I couldn't get Pettigrew. I'm sorry Sirius had to die. I'm sorry I trusted Snape and didn't believe Harry. I'm sorry I didn't tell Tonks that I loved her. I'm so so sorry."
He looked to the skies, tears blurring his vision. He felt a whisper of a touch, so soft he wasn't sure he felt it. He turned and saw three figures standing there smiling at him.
Lily.
James.
Sirius.
Together they nodded, and smiled. Remus wasn't sure if he'd imagined the whole thing, but he was fairly sure he heard someone whisper,
"Moony my friend, stop bloody apologizing. There's nothing to forgive."