Character Conversations: Shira

Tigey Wigey: So Shira...What's up?

Shira: Eh, not much. Islands are nice, but nothing ever happens. But you know, it's- -

Tigey Wigey: WHAT'S HAPPENING BETWEEN YOU AND DIEGO?

Shira: What ? !

Tigey Wigey: Tell us all about your personal life with your new boyfriend. Details please.

Shira: Don't you think that's kind of personal ? ? ?

Tigey Wigey: Yeah, that's why I said "Tell us all about your personal life..." So get cracking.

Shira: *huffs* Alright, fine...Well, neither of us has made a move yet, we're still kind of just friends...

Tigey Wigey: You should totally go for it. Try to get to second base!

Shira: I'm not even sure I'm at home plate yet!

Tigey Wigey: So you want to get to second base?

Shira: What?...No!

Tigey Wigey: *smiles deviously* You like him.

Shira: No!

Tigey Wigey: Shira and Diego, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Shira: Oh be quiet, I don't like him!

Tigey Wigey: Denial is the clincher! You're in love, pussycat!

Shira:...Okay, now you're just copying from the movie.

Tigey Wigey: You so like him.

Shira: Well...okay, maybe a little...but he rescued me from Gutt, and Gutt wanted to kill me.

Tigey Wigey: Hey, speaking of that, what's your favorite color?

Shira: What does that have to do with anything?

Tigey Wigey: Absolutely nothing. I just wanted to see if I could catch you. Good job! You're not an idiot.

Shira: Well, thank you so much for this high honor.

Tigey Wigey: Gotta love sarcasm. Now, on with the interview...Okay, so you've been at sea for a long time, no?

Shira: Yeah...I've been on board with Gutt for three years.

Tigey Wigey: How in the world did you not get seasick?

Shira: No idea. But believe it or not, Gutt and Raz got seasick a lot. When Gutt wasn't threatening everyone and when Raz wasn't throwing swords at people, they were vomiting.

Tigey Wigey: Hm. Lovely. Hey, I have a question for you: what's up with your fur? Why are you grey instead of orange?

Shira: I don't know...my whole pack was grey. It could be that I sailed over a whole ocean...Maybe I'm just from a different part of the world.

Tigey Wigey: So you're from Asia or something?

Shira: What's Asia?

Tigey Wigey: It's a continent with the cutest little bears...You should go there sometime.

Shira: Uh...sure. I like traveling.

Tigey Wigey: Sike! You're trapped on an island!

Shira: I'm not on the island now! I was brought here!

Tigey Wigey: Yeah, well this is Hollywood, honey, anything can happen.

Shira: ...

Tigey Wigey: So, are we friends?

Shira: Uh, yeah, sure, I guess...

Tigey Wigey: Okay, good to know, buddy. So are you and Diego gonna have kids anytime soon?

Shira: I don't know, I try flirting with him sometimes, but he never seems interested.

Tigey Wigey: So you do want kids?

Shira: Yeah, it would be nice to start a family with...Hey!

Tigey Wigey: Hahaha, you fell for it!

Shira: Shut up!

Tigey Wigey: Seriously, though, you should have cubs; your species is going extinct soon.

Shira: How the heck do you know?

Tigey Wigey: I'm from...the future!

Shira: But that doesn't make any sense! You're crazy.

Tigey Wigey: I may be crazy, but a lot of things don't make sense; a good example would be my sister's brain.

Shira: I hate to break it to ya Sally Sunshine, but your brain's a little out of whack too!

Tigey Wigey: *scowls* Wart nibbler.

Shira: Milquetoast.

Tigey Wigey: Popinjay.

Shira: Schnook!

Tigey Wigey: Schlemiel!

Shira: Neer-do-well!

Tigey Wigey: YouloveDiego!

Shira: Geekburger and Ch- -Oh, for the love of...Be quiet!

Tigey Wigey: Let it snow, let it snow, let it snowww!

Shira: What the heck is wrong with you ? ! ? !

Tigey Wigey: If my doctors can't figure it out, then how should I know? But anyway, shall I ask you some more questions?

Shira:...Fine, sure, whatever!

Tigey Wigey: ...When do you plan on seducing Diego?

Shira: DUDE!

Tigey Wigey: OKAY, fine, sorry! Okay...So...is there enough food for you on the island? What happens if you eat everyone?

Shira: I'll eat you!

Tigey Wigey: If I am going to be eaten by anyone, it would be Diego because he is better than you. So answer the question now, this is being posted on a public website.

Shira: *sighs* Yeah, the island's infested with rabbits and deer. I have plenty to eat. There, you happy?

Tigey Wigey: Yes. Yes I am. One more question, though...

Shira: What?

Tigey Wigey: Why'd you leave your old pack? And FYI, every single fan of yours is dying to know, so...I had to ask.

Shira: Well...because it wasn't exiting! It was the same thing every day, and I just got bored of it. So one day I left, found Gutt, and the pirate life...just seemed exciting to me.

Tigey Wigey: Eh, not for me. I'd be puking the whole time.

Shira: Hm. Lovely.

Tigey Wigey: Sooo, since we're running out of time, we're- -

Shira: You told me you were just sitting around the house all day!

Tigey Wigey: I DON'T CARE, WE'RE OUT OF TIME!

Shira: (Get me out of here- -she's crazy!)

Tigey Wigey: Call your boyfriend to come and save you.

Shira: He's not my boyfriend!

Tigey Wigey: Oh. Sure. Keep telling yourself that.

Shira: But- -

Tigey Wigey: *into walkie-talkie* We have a Code 33851, I'm going to have to need back-up immediately.

Shira: Screw you! *Opens up a portal, walks inside, and disappears like a boss*

Tigey Wigey: ...How the heck did you do that?

Sooo, that's that! Hoped you liked it and/or thought it was funny and/or entertaining...Be sure to keep an eye out for more Character Conversations, coming soon to a theater near you! (Not. It might be awhile for this to get into the theaters.)

Please review, or I'll steal all your mustard!