A/N: This was written for speedrent; the challenge was to write a badfic. 1000 "Whose Line Is It Anyway" points to anyone who manages to read the entire thing without slipping into a shock-induced coma.
Roger Davis sat at the bedside of his lover, Mimi. Mimi was dying but she and Roger and all the friends were happy because Mimi was about to have a baby! Mimi and Roger had looked forward to this for a long time because they loved each other so much. Anyway. Then the baby is born and Mimi and Roger name her Destiny Hope Esperanza Tiffany Marquez-Davis, but they call her Angel for short. Angel was a friend of theirs that had died of AIDS not too long ago, and everyone was really sad about that, but Collins was the most saddest of all cuz he loved Angel (Collins is another friend of theirs and also has AIDS, and Mimi and Roger have AIDS too, but Joanne and Maureen and Mark don't, even though Maureen and Joanne are lesbians and Mark used to date Maureen and he also used to be her production manager cuz Mark's really smart and makes movies and stuff) and Collins and Angel loved each other so much too that they adopted a kid right before Angel died. Anyway. They named their daughter Priscilla Dakota Zipporah Derryberry Collins. So the babies grew up but before they grew up Mimi and Angel died. Not together, they died at different times, but they did both die. Anyway. Collins and Roger died too but that's not important. So. The two girls became teenagers and what happened in between their being born and the time of this story now doesn't matter cuz the story's not about that so I'm skipping it all. But if you read my fic and write me lots and lots of reviewz I'll write about all that stuff too! Anyway. Angel and Priscilla had just celebrated their 14th birthday. It really doesn't matter that they weren't born on the same day cause I don't feel like writing about two separate birthdays so I decided that they decided they were gonna share a birthday cause they're bohemians and they like to share stuff. Anyway. So the doorbell rings and Angel answers it (Angel the 14yrold cause the other Angel is dead. She had AIDS and died cuz of the AIDS and it made people sad but they sang about it anyway cause they were bohemians and they did stuff like that. Anyway.) She answers it and sees an Indian standing there. Not an Indian like Native American, y'know, like Pocahontas and Tonto (or is it Toto? I can never remember) but an Indian like from India. No, not Indiana. That's different. This guy is from India but is in New York cuz otherwise how else could he be ringing the doorbell here? Anyway. The Indian walks in and tells young-ebony-haired-raven-eyed-beauty-Angel that she was actually a princess. (Do they have princesses in India? I waszn't sure but I'm gonna pretend they do anyway cause otherwize I won't have anything 2 write about). So he tells her she's a princess and he was gonna take her to India to be rich and wear beautiful dresses and stuff. But Angel tells him he has to take Priscilla too cause she and Priscilla are bohemians and they like to share stuff and do stuff together. So. Anyway. They both go to India and live happily ever after. Even though their parents died of AIDS. Priscilla didn't get AIDS cuz b4 she was born Roger and Mimi went to all kinds of really good expensive doctors to make sure there baby wouldn't die of AIDS. Benny paid for the doctors cuz Mimi told Benny that the baby might be his. But it really wasn't his, it was Roger's. Anyway. So they grow up (Angel and Priscilla, not Roger and Benny. Angel the 14yrold, not Angel the one who died of AIDS) and they become lesbians and fall in love and adopt a little Indian baby which they name Drevoughn Dondarius Marzell Davis-Marquez-Collins-Schunard Ramiyahsuitohfi. Ramiyahsuitohfi was Angel's real last name before she got adopted. Angel the 14yrold, not the Angel that died of AIDS. Except she's not 14 anymore. Cause she grew up and has a baby now. Anyway. So they and the baby move back to New York and go back to the loft to live cause they're bohemians and so they have to live in New York and be broke and sing and dance all the time. ThE eNd!