The Chuunin Exams, with a twist

Chapter One: It begins.

I don't own Naruto!

(Scene, Chuunin talking thing.)

Sarutobi: As you all know, we have some special guests this year. One squad from Russia, one from Canada, and one from the United States. Many say that the genin from these countries are said to be the best in the world. Let's prove them wrong.

(Pathway)

"Oof!" Kankuro picked up Konohomaru.

"Who's this little shrimp?"

"H-Hey put me down! Put me down you ape!" Sakura ran up to the struggling Konohomaru.

"Listen, I'm sorry, he didn't mean anything, please, just let him go."

"Hm, ya know what? I ain't letting the little twerp go. I think I'll teach him a lesson first."

"Hey you big idiot! Let him go!" Naruto ran towards the strange hooded fellow, only to be tripped by some unseen wire.

"Ow."

"Ha, rookie you should know not to mess with m…"

Slam! A fist collided with Kankuro's face, knocking him straight through the fence next to him. A frightening looking shinobi stood where he had not a moment ago. The shinobi wore all black clothing, a black scarf covered his mouth, fishnet covered his arms, he wore a necklace with a red-eyed skull pendant hanging from it, had black hair, and he wore no headband. His face was almost too pale to be human. He just stood, looking at the gaping Leaf Nin (and one gaping Sand Nin.) Sakura actually voiced her surprise.

"W-Where did you come from! You didn't make a noise!"

Two more ninja came behind him. One was a boy, with bandages over his eyes, a bit taller than the first; his hair was red. His necklace was that of a flame, he wore red apparel. A girl came behind him, her necklace was a teardrop, her hair was long and blue, she was a bit shorter than the first two, her clothing was blue, she, like Temari, wore her protector around her neck, there was a third eye tattooed on her forehead, and she looked smugly at the first, scolding him in a light tone.

"Come now Silence, we're guests here, we shouldn't stir up trouble." The first looked at the girl with a "are you F-in kidding me" look. The other ninja defended his comrade in a deep, frightening voice.

"It would seem his actions were justified Foresight."

"Don't start with the male bonding crap Sightless."

"Hey you! Who are you?" Everyone looked up, surprised to see Sasuke in a tree above them. The one the girl had called Silence pointed to himself.

"Yes you." Silence didn't answer. Sakura looked peeved.

"Hey! Sasuke asked you a question, now answer him."

"He can't." Everyone looked at the girl.

"Silence was born with no vocal cords, or voice box. He is unable to make audible noise." The oh so ditzy blonde one made the next remark.

"So why'd that guy call you Foresight?"

"I can see 15 seconds in to the future at any time I please."

"Oh yea? Then why's he called Sightless?"

"Show them." Sightless pulled up his bandages. Everyone screamed. Sakura, and the three academy students passed out. Where Sightless's eyes should've been, there was only skin.

"I was born with no eyes, not even sockets." He put the bandages back down.

"Wait, then how can you see!" It was Temari who yelled that one.

"I have sort of a bat sonar ability, sound bounces off, and I can see it, even the most miniscule of details.

"W-What, huh? You're going down you freak!"

"Kankuro."

"What the? Oh, hey Gaara, um, uh, they started it!"

"I don't care. You're a disgrace to our village. If you do it again, I'll kill you."

"Um, uh, ok." Gaara disappeared into the sand, and reappeared next to his teammates. They began to walk off.

"Hey you. What's your name?" Temari turned around and blushed.

"Who me?"

"No, the one with the gourd on his back."

"I'm Gaara, of the desert. Who are you?"

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha."

"Bet you're dying to know my name!"

"I couldn't care less." The sand squad began to leave.

"Wait, the lands of wind and fire may be allies, but shinobi must have permission to enter other's villages."

"What are you stupid? We have permission." Temari held out the IDs.

"We're here for the Chuunin Exams."

"Chuunin Exams?"

"Numbskull, it's the exam to become Chuunin."

"Oh right, I knew that." As the sand squad was leaving, Foresight tapped Kankuro on the shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to say…"

WHAP She socked Kankuro in the gut.

"…DON'T EVER CALL MY BOYFRIEND A FREAK AGAIN!" She practically jumped into Silence's arms.

"Come on Silence, Sightless. Oh by the way, tell your friends about us, we're the Russian genin, and you're all going down." They all jumped away.

"Ugh…ow."

"Come on Kankuro, let's go." The sand squad left. In the trees three ninja looked down upon the groups. The girl with the silver hair spoke first; she wore a grey set of clothing.

"Okay, this year's crop looks tough. Headset…Headset!" A ninja with headphones on and blue hair answered, wearing a black shirt and a pair of jeans.

"What do you want Blank?"

"You follow those freaky guys, the one with the eyeless ninja. Sleeper, you follow the sand freaks. I'll take the leaf Nin. As the genin from America, we have a rep to uphold." A very tired looking ninja with brown hair and green clothing nodded and left.

"Now wait a sec, why do I need to be a spy.?"

"Maybe you could achieve even more if you didn't have your headphones on 24/7. God you irritate me."

"Yes, but you seem to have forgotten the fact that don't seem to irritate you enough, mainly because I can't count high enough to the times you've kissed me."

Above Konoha another team approached the gates. Two guys, one rather tall and skinny, with brownish hair, and a rather sad face, wearing green clothing spoke first in a quiet, airy, voice.

"So Shriek, do you think that we'll make the cut?" The girl with white clothes and purple hair answered, in a light tone, with a cocky grin on her face.

"Hm, you think too much of the genin of this country Depression. What do you think Rage?" The more muscular guy with blonde hair, in jeans and a black skull t-shirt answered in a dark sounding voice. They were the Canadian genin.

"I think Depression has a point babe. We mustn't get overly cocky."

(Back on the path.)

"Sakura-chan, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine Naruto, I had the weirdest dream about a guy with no eyes."

"Well, yeah, he just left."

"He was real?"

"Yep." She passed out again.

(After Prelims and Kakashi handing out application forms…)

"Okay children, the exams will begin in exactly one week. Hone your skills, exercise profusely, or don't, we're not having training this week, so I don't really care." Kakashi jumped away.

"Oh, great way to heighten our self-esteem "I don't really care"."

"Get over it Naruto, if I was him, I wouldn't care either."

"Well either way, you know what this means…"

"What?"

"We have a whole week to ourselves!"

"Well duh."

(This is about to get really funny.)

Silence and Foresight were sitting on a bench, just generally enjoying each other's company. The oh so flirtatious blonde one walked up. (No girls, not Naruto.) (Yes it's Ino. Morons.)

"Well hello there, you here for the exams?" Silence, of course, remained silent.

"Anyways, why don't you come and get some lunch with me?"

"Back off, he's taken."

"I wasn't talking to you whore."

"WHORE!"

"You heard me!"

"Come here you Bitch!" Foresight tackled Ino, resulting of course in a fight. Silence just looked down, after a few moments, his eyes shot open. He walked away and returned with popcorn and a soda, sat down, and enjoyed the show. After a few moments, Shikamaru, Naruto, and Kiba walked up.
"Hey you're that Silence guy aren't…HOLY CRAP! Bitchfight!" The three guys took seats on the bench.

"What are they fighting about?" Silence pointed to himself.

"Oh. Wow, look at em go."

(About 30 minutes and two sodas later.)

"Aw, they stopped."

"What the? Naruto! Why you!" Ino began to chase Naruto down the road.

"WHAT'D I DO!" Foresight got off the ground and dusted herself off. She smirked.

"So did you boys enjoy the show?"

"Yes we did."

"Well, either way I'm taken. Come on Silence, let's go shopping!" She gave Silence a huge smile and dragged him off. Silence looked at the guys with a look that screamed, "For the love of god Help Me!"

(Elsewhere…2 hours later)

Shino, always fascinated with the unusual, was hanging with Sightless, asking about his team's…unique abilities.

"So, the fact that you were born without eyes is an advantage?"

"Precisely, I've developed hyper sense, just because I don't rely on any one of my senses."

"Hm, fascinating. Hey, how is it that Foresight can date Silence, with the whole…silent thing?"

"You'd be surprised how well they know each other. They have sort of a wavelength. Plus, Silence keeps a whiteboard and pen with him."

"Hm, now, like you, is Silence lacking a mouth?"

"Nah, he just wears the scarf to help people figure it out."

"Seems obvious enough with the name." As they spoke Foresight walked by.

"Hey Sightless! Who's your friend?"

"This is Shino, he's a member of team 10 here in Konoha."

"Oh, you must be Hinata's teammate."

"I am, I assume you've met her then."

"Yes, Sakura introduced me to her already."

"Hey, where's Silence?" Silence approached with a stack of shopping bags, stacked high enough that if they fell, they'd land on the roof. He struggled for a moment before the giant stack fell and squished him. After about ten minutes he managed to dig himself out. He then proceeded to walk over to Sightless, take his full bowl of ramen and begin to chow down.

"Hey what the hell man?"

"Ha-ha, chill Sightless, I just dragged him around for two hours shopping, cut him some slack. I think he wants another bowl."

"See? Wavelength."

"Na, she just means he finished that one."

"Dammit man, I don't even eat that fast." Silence fell backward and sat against the wall. Of course, as a bit of payback I suppose, he pulled foresight down with him.

"Hey! What was that for?" He kissed her, on the lips.

"So for dragging you to all those shops?" He gave her a sheepish grin and nodded.

"Fine then, I forgive you." His grin faded. Foresight pouted.

"What? That hurt."

(Elsewhere…)

Sleeper was just taking a walk, and yawning, when, BAM, Ino crashed right into him. He got up, dusted himself off, and began to walk away.

"HEY! Aren't you going to help me up?"

yawn "Hadn't planned on it."

"Why you, I'll tell you something you…"

snore

"Wha…you're asleep. Hey, don't fall asleep while I'm talking to you!" She took a shot at the sleeping Sleeper, only to have him move away from her punch.

"Wha? Hm, uh, who are you?"

"WHAT? I'M THE GIRL YOU JUST BASHED INTO!"

"Oh" Yawn "Hello."

"WHAT? YOU AREN'T GOING TO APOLOGIZE?"

"Well, you ran into me, not the other way around."

"WHAT?"

"Huh, you're kind of cute for a crazy psychotic bitch."

"Well I am cute. BUT YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THE BITCH COMMENT YOU, YOU…"

"The name's Sleeper, and you are?"

"It's Ino, and you're going TO PAY."

"But you ran into me, shouldn't you pay?"

"What? No! You're missing the point!"

"If there is one, please get to it."

"Why you…"

"Ah, Sleeper, there you are, aren't you supposed to be…hello." Headset and Blank walked up to their teammate.

"Sorry, is he bothering you?"

"Um, yeah, he ran into…"

"You ran into me."

"What? NO I DIDN'T!"

"Yes you did."

"What the, um, hey what're we talking about?"

"God Dammit, if you took those headphones off once in awhile, you would KNOW!"

"Chill Blank, I'll take em off see." He took off his headphones.

"See, I can take em off."

"Okay, now miss, I'm sorry our teammate bashed into you. You're sorry aren't you Sleeper."

"Blank just do it."

"Ugh, fine." Blank preformed some hand signs and placed her hand on Ino's head.

"What? Where am I? Who are you?"

"Hi! I'm Blank, this is Sleeper, and Headset."

"Oh, um, nice to meet you."

"Well, we'll see you at the" Yawn "Exams."

(Next Morning) (American Genin's Household)

Sleeper walked up to Blank.

"Hey Blank, why'd you leave that drink on the counter?"

"Oh crap, Sleeper, did you drink that?"

"Yeah, what was it?"

"Um, an energy drink."

"Oh…shit." Sleeper twitched a bit before jetting out the door at breakneck speed.

"HEADSET! SLEEPER DRANK ANOTHER ROCK STAR!"

"Again? Ugh, let's go catch him."

(Russian Genin Household)

"Wake up guys!" Silence walked from his room, as did Sightless.

"So what do we have for breakfast?" Silence shrugged.

"Nothing? NOTHING!" Sightless and Silence sweat dropped.

"Then you guys have to go to the store and get something!"

(Canadian House!)

"Um, the milk expired. Dry cereal I guess." Depression said with a saddened face.

"We could use…apple juice?"

"Ew, the last thing we need right now is your cooking Shriek."

"Hey! Fine you know what? You guys are going to the store."

"We'll probably get lost…we have no idea where it is."

"Then you better start looking!"

"Okay."

(Okay, now we skip. A lot, straight to all the genin in the one room.)

"Please, you have to let us in!" Yelled Tenten to the two guys blocking the door.

"Are you joking? None of you are ready for these exams. Some of you will die, other will be wrecked for life, and some of you may go crazy." Tenten jumped forward, only do be hit back by the two.

"Just let us in."

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Sleeper, let us in, now."

"And what makes you think we'll do that?"

"Because if you don't, I'll kill both of you."

snore

"He fell asleep?" The doorman threw a punch at Sleeper, who moved out of the way.

'What the?'

"HEY, This is the wrong floor!" Yelled Sakura.

"We only came up two flights of stairs. This is room 201." All the other nin raced up the stairs. A certain bushy-browed fellow walked up to Sakura.

"You are Sakura Haruno right?"

"Yeah."

"My name is Rock Lee. Would you please be my girlfriend? I will protect you with my life!"

"Absolutely…not."

"W-Why not?"

"Cause, you're a weirdo."

"Hey, who're you?"

"It's customary to say your own name before asking someone else theirs."

"I'm Neji Hyuuga."

"I am Sasuke Uchiha."

"Bet you want to know my name!"

"No."

"A-A weirdo?"

"Ugh, nobody wants to know my name."

(Moving right along…)

"MY NAME'S NARUTO UZUMAKI, AND I'M GONNA BEAT EVER LAST ONE OF YA!" Sasuke looked up.

'Cocky dumbass.' Rage spoke.

"Little runt will get himself killed."

"It'll just mean dying faster. Eventually, it happens to everyone." Headset spoke.

"What'd he say? I didn't hear." Silence…stayed silent.

"Hey there, you're Sasuke Uchiha right?"

"Yes."

"Hey, I'm Kabuto Yakushi."

"And?"

"I thought you might want information. We leaf Nin must stick together. I have these." Kabuto pulled some blank cards out of his pocket.

"So what, you're giving me blank cards?"

"No, these contain an infinite amount of information. Watch." Kabuto put one card onto the floor, and spun it under his finger to reveal…a full 3D graph.

"This shows the different amounts of ninja entering this exam from each village. So, do you want info or not?"

"Do you have that for specific ninja?"

"Yes. Who do you have in mind?"

"Rock Lee, Gaara, and that Silence guy."

"Rock Lee seems that his Genjutsu and Ninjutsu are not very good, but his Taijutsu is phenomenal. Gaara, don't have much on him, twenty d-ranks 15-c ranks and get this, one b-rank mission. And he always returned without a scratch. Silence, the American Genin, dating Foresight, another American. Other than that, I have nothing on him."

"Hey, what about the sound village?"

"I don't have much on them, they're really weird, and it just sprung up out of nowhere."

(Sound Nin)

"Did you hear that? He called us weird. Let's go give him some info to put on his little cards." The sound three jumped into action. Two threw kunai at Kabuto, who dodged them, while the third jumped forward and…was stopped in mid flight by a back-fist to the stomach. He looked up into the angry eyes of Rage.

"No one is to fight before the exams start."

"Listen up maggots! I am your proctor Morino Ibiki! I will be hosting the first exam, which will be a written test!" After a thorough explanation of the rules, the test began.

'Hm, I already know these, but I'll probably fail anyway…maybe I should…nah.' Depression, being the intelligent one of his team, answered all nine with ease.

'I hope Naruto and Sasuke do okay. Well, Sasuke will be okay, but Naruto…' Thought Sakura as she answered her test.

'Oh, I'm so not gonna pass this test, then Sakura and Sasuke will be mad at me…'

'Naruto had better pass, oh well, Sharingan!' Sasuke began to copy the pencil movements of the guy in front of him.

"WOW! THAT'S A TOUGH QUESTION!"

"Hey! No talking!"

"SORRY!"

'Dumbass.' Sightless began to copy down the answers his sound waves gave him. Blank smiled.

'This'll be fun.' She grabbed the guy's test next to her.

"Hey!" She grabbed his arm and slipped her test over to him.

"What? Oh, the test started."

'Score!' Silence thought for a moment.

'Oh, I know.' He silently pulled a kunai from his pouch and threw it at the breaker switch. When the lights were out everyone began to freak and Silence snagged Sakura's test. Unforeseen by him, Sleeper and Headset also snagged some tests. The lights came back on. Foresight waited, waited, waited.

'Aha, that guy's finished. Let's see what his future holds. Ah, good, 10 seconds from now he's still looking, thank you retard.' As luck would have it, Rage and Shriek were next to each other and communicating with sign language.

"Easy, eh Shriek?"

"Simplistic, and no way Depression will have any troubles."

"Alright! Times up, time for the rules to the…oh, you're back, I hope you found your trip to the restroom…enlightening."

'Crap, he knows about my cheat-sheet.'

"Okay, here's the deal, I will give out the tenth question, but there are some special rules that pertain to this question. First off, you may decide to choose whether or not to take this question. If you decide not to take it, you and your teammates will fail, and may try again next year…"

"Wait, why would we do that!" Yelled the overzealous Kiba.

"…if you decide to take it and get it wrong, you will be barred from taking the Chuunin exams ever again."

"What?"

"You heard me, this is your choice." A few moments past before a random ninja raised his hand. Then another, and another. Then…Naruto raised his hand and…slammed it down on his desk.

"No way are you gonna scare me away!"

'What, that little show seems to have given the others some backbone.'

"Well, anyway…"

poof

"Okay listen maggots! I'm your next proctor! Anko Mitarashi!"

"You're early, again." Anko sweat-dropped.

"Well, follow me!"

(Outside the mysterious gate)

"This is the second phase of the exam, the 44th training ground…but we call it…The Forest of Death."

Abrupt chapter end!