Chapter 1
Happy
Write what you feel. Don't bottle things up. It's not good for you. Let it all out. Tell me about it, help me understand. This is all I've heard every single day for as long as I can remember.
How can you talk about your emotions and what's going on inside your head when you don't even understand it yourself. You can't comprehend what's happened, so how on Earth are you supposed to explain it to somebody. It's all so messed up who you are, what you want. An entangled web of confusion that cages you. You try to break free but you can't. Every time you try and talk you trip yourself up and make the entire situation worse. So instead you put on a mask. A mask that protects you from getting hurt, and allows the rest of the world to think your fine when in reality you're lost, lonely and scared. Constantly reminiscing over what once was and what could have been, unable to feel, unable to allow anyone inside the walls you've so carefully built around you. Protecting you.
Facing the world everyday with an exterior so robust nobody would dare get close.
Nobody except him.
He's not scared, he is the only one who truly understands you. You know this. He knows this. So why can't you let him help? The same reason you've been blocking the world out for years…You're scared. Scared that if you let him in he'll only hurt you. Scared… that he'll leave, that he won't want you. It's not like anybody's stuck around before so why would he be any different.
You're both geniuses but even if you weren't it wouldn't be difficult to figure out that you act all tough and come across as a complete badass but actually you're the most sensitive of the whole team. The only thing is you imprison your emotions and the only way anybody is going to get to them is if the tear down your walls.
Toby
You can see it in her eyes. Fear. She's terrified and you have no idea what you can do to help. You want to help so badly, to protect her. This is supposed to be your area of expertise you're a behaviourist, a shrink, yet you can't help the one person you would do anything for. You slam your hand on the table in frustration. She has her back to you but you see her tense at the sound. Her shoulders back, muscles tensed ready for whatever the world can throw at her. Happy Quinn is a fighter. You'd never know it looking at her, she's tiny, about a foot shorter than you but god is she tough, beautiful, alluring and unbelievably intimidating. (Not that you care, you think it's hot) You on the other hand don't even compare with you six foot skinny frame, even though you've been working out to impress her you've only gained four pounds.
You need to proceed with caution, she may be scared and upset but nobody else would know by the way she's hammering hell out of that bit of metal. You know though, you can tell by the way she shivers as the hammer makes contact with the metal, releasing a sob at the same time the metal sounds so nobody will notice. You notice though and it kills you seeing her like this.
You walk up nervously behind her, stopping a few feet away in case she lashes out. "Happy" you croak cautiously testing the water, she whirls round so fast you jump but quickly recover so not to seem startled by the sudden movement. She almost laughs but you see the sadness in her eyes. "Not now Doc" She replies but not with half her usual fire, she's tired and all you want to do is hold her and help lighten the load.
Happy
Deep down you know he means well but you can't stand being analysed right now, especially not by him, he has this way of seeing through all your walls and making you feel emotions you've never experienced before that you can't quite get your head around. You're only standing a few feet apart but suddenly it feels miles. Instinctively you move to run startled by this new desire you feel burning inside you but before you ca he grabs your arm, he looks at you and for the first time in a long time you feel alive instead of just merely living. For a while you both just stand there as if frozen in time, both spellbound by the other's gaze. He goes to break the silence but you grab his shirt and pull him to you before he gets the chance. Your lips crash into his, at first he's shocked but it only takes his a second to grab your waist and pull you closer to him. You've never felt this way before, there's a fire in your stomach and all you want is to be closer to Toby, you push him onto the couch and in an instant you're on top of him kissing him with every ounce of passion you possess and he's kissing you back with all that and more, he wants you, you can feel it and not just sexual desire. He loves you. You can feel it, all that pent up emotion he's been holding back for so long is pulsing through his veins and you know this is real. This is what it feels like to let somebody in.
Toby
You never thought this would ever happen but now that it has you never want it to end. You love her with every fibre of your being and what's more you know she feels the same. Your bodies flush together has re-lit a fire in you that you feared was dead forever. In this perfect moment you don't care about the consequences. You don't care about the rest of the team finding out. All you care about, all you really want, is Happy and being everything she needs.
Hours later you just lie there holding each other, finding sanctuary in each other's arms. You whisper in her ear, so softly you're not even sure if you're saying it aloud. "I love you Happy Quinn" the silence that follows almost assures you that it was in your head, but then she replies. "Doc you know this isn't easy and you've been grea…" You cut her off before she can finish. "But you don't feel the same" You say the greatest sorrow laced in your voice as your heart sinks. You move to get off the couch but as you stand up she grabs your arm. "You never let me finish, idiot" she scolds hitting you "So do me a favour, sit your skinny ass down here and listen!" She commands, you obey not sure where this is going. "What I was going to say Doc was that you've been great and I appreciate that I'm not the easiest to read bu…" You interrupt her again.
"Try damn near impossible!"
"DOC I LOVE YOU!" she yells, taking you slightly aback, but she's looking deep into your soul and you know she means so you cup her face with both and show her how sorry you are.
Happy
For the first time in your life you feel content, perfectly happy and safe. Protected by his warm embrace. You don't even care that he might leave you because you know that he never would. Even though your impatient and hot headed and frankly down right impossible but he knows why, that after all you've been through you thought that everyone just left you but not Toby. He never gives up and you love that about him. You know he's in this for the long haul and that is why you couldn't possibly bring yourself to leave the comfort of his arms tightly around you holding you close. The rest of the team will be here soon though and although it won't bother Toby in the slightest (he never has been subtle) but you've only just come to terms with your feelings and can't bear the thought of the team judging you. So you slowly unwrap his arms, kiss his cheek softly so not to wake him and walk to the kitchen to make you both breakfast.
Toby
The sunlight that streamed through the garage windows woke you, that and the smell of bacon wafting from the kitchen. So sleepily you follow the sent almost face planting a strewn motorcycle wheel Happy had left lying. You groan as you haul yourself off the floor and continue on your journey to the kitchen. A grin spreads across your face as you see her expertly flipping pancakes and putting rashers of bacon onto plates. She hasn't noticed you and you take a moment to just watch her before commenting cockily "look at you all domestic" She turns and scowls unable to throw anything at you due to the pan in her hand, you see her frustration at this and laugh. "Shut it Doc" She warns but still slides a plate across the counter to you before retreating to the couch ahead of you. She sits down cross legged with the plate in her lap and tucks in. As you go to sit down you lightly brush her forehead with your lips, she swats you away playfully with a mischievous glint in her eyes so you feign extreme hurt and she laughs. "Everything you do is such a performance" She jokes rolling her eyes at you before going back to her plate. "You've never experienced one of my performances…yet" You reply with a devilish grin. She almost chokes on her breakfast and makes a swipe at you, but you block it. "Way to make it creepy Doc" she scolds but then grabs your shirt and kisses you before returning her attention to her plate once more. "So violent" You tease, she laughs before countering "don't pretend you don't like it Doc" you can't help it, she's right. You move quickly catching her off guard playfully pinning her down sending both of your plates flying in the process. You grin cockily as you lean in and whisper in her ear "Looks like I got you, what are you going to do about it?" You see the fire in her eyes rising to the challenge and before you can blink she's got you on the floor looking up at her, she's grinning wildly her black curls falling loosely around her face and for a moment you just stare in awe before making a stuttering attempt at telling her how you let her do that. She just laughs and raises her eyebrows and replying "How gentlemanly of you" her voice dripping with sarcasm as she picks herself up off you and tidies up the plates you sent flying and setting them in the sink. "The rest of them will be here soon" She explains, you give her an understanding look knowing it's too soon to expect her to be comfortable with everyone seeing them together. So you saunter over to your desk just as Paige arrives in the door with Ralph.