Disclaimer - I do not own FFVII, so please do not sue me.
A/N: I previously wrote this story on a different account, but it accidentally was deleted (imagine how upset I was!). So, I have decided to rewrite it on this account, trying to remember all the funny things it had in it. Please tell me what you think!
CHAPTER 1: JUDGEMENT
Sephiroth could not believe it. That hot-headed kid Cloud had defeated him! Now he was awaiting his sentence as to where he would be spending his after-life. As much as he was hoping to go to Heaven, he had a sinking feeling that his eternity was to be spent either in Purgatory or Hell, he was hoping for the former. However, his prayer was interrupted by the sound of something falling. Opening his eyes, he saw two bumbling men in white clothes with a dim outline of gray wings on their backs. He cleared his throat quietly, in some attempt to catch their attention, but it did no good.
"Eh, Trevor, we've got quite a few people dying to get their sentence. Heh, heh, get it? Dying? Oh man, sometimes I kill myself with all these jokes!" the blonde-haired man said, opening a large book that was sitting on a pearly pedestal. "Phew, so where do we start?"
"Well Trenton, we may want to start with this scary looking guy who looks pretty impatient with us..." the other man, obviously Trevor, replied with fear burning in his eyes.
"That might be a good idea, Trevor!" he exclaimed as he scrambled through the pages of the immense book. "Okay, okay, so who is this guy?"
"Is it that feudal era demon Sesshomaru that's all evil and 'grr' and stuff?"
"No, no, no! It's that guy who was a character in that enchanted book, Sanosuke!"
"I'm Sephiroth." the silver haired man stated dryly. He had a sinking feeling he was going to be here for a while. Observing the duo of angels, he waited as they sifted through the large book.
"Sephiroth, eh?" Trevor asked. He practically ripped through the pages to find his name. Yet, when the angel finally did, he curtly elbowed his sidekick in the stomach. "Do you know who this guy is?!"
"Actually no, Trevor, that's why you're looking him up in The Book to tell me who he is." Trenton stated, throwing his hands up in the air. He quickly pushed his nose in The Book, trying to find out who this Sephiroth character was. "Hmm, let's see here...warping the minds of innocent people, destroying a village or two, killing an Ancient...gee Sephiroth, your track record is not looking all too good from my point of view."
"Well, I must agree with you, Trenton. To be blunt, you're royally screwed Sephiroth. You have no way out of this one unless the boss has given you some type of reprieve that we don't know about." the other angel responded. Tripping over his robes, he reached for a red stamp that read 'HELL' in capital letters. He was inches away from committing the sentence, but he was halted by a hand grabbing his arm.
"Trevor, you cannot carry out this sentence, Sephiroth has received a different one," the dark haired female angel stated. Taking a glance at the silver haired man, she opened her mouth to finish her statement. "You have been given a second chance to redeem yourself. You will be sentenced to live on Earth."
"What's the catch?" Sephiroth asked. He had a sinking feeling that something was not right with this situation. He was also beginning to think Hell wasn't that bad of a sentence.
"You must endure the presence of a human being for an entire year. This means, you are not allowed to hurt them in anyway. This includes physically, mentally, and verbally. If you can survive this, you will earn a spot in Heaven. Yet, if you fail, you will immediately be sent to Hell." the female angel said. Pushing her hair over her shoulder, she gave Sephiroth a cocky grin. "Are you going to accept this offer, or would you rather go straight to Hell for all your wrong deeds?"
"Tch," Sephiroth stated. "How bad can this offer be? I accept going to live on Earth."
"Don't believe it to be so easy, Sephiroth." she spoke. Within an instant, she was gone. Sephiroth blinked a few times, then turned his head to face the two angels who had almost sentenced him to a lifetime of Hell with no reprieve.
"So now what do I do?" he asked, desperately trying not to roll his eyes as they scattered across the pearly pedestal.
"Well, you have to wait for the approval from the boss. Just because an angel comes here out of nowhere granting permissions, does not mean it has been approved of by the boss. Trust us, we have had a few bad run-ins with some fellows, remember that one a few years ago Trevor? What was his name, again?" Trenton asked. The other angel merely shrugged his shoulders in response. "Well, the name's not important...anyway, this fellow apparently tried to convince us that he was really meant to go to Heaven, telling us all his good doings on-"
"Trenton and Trevor," a booming voice spoke from behind a set of clouds. "This sentence Marrianne speaks of is true, Sephiroth has been given a reprieve from Hell. I believe he will find it to be an interesting sentence once he arrives there. Good luck, Sephiroth."
Without warning, the silver-haired man felt his feet leave the ground. He was spinning and spiraling down toward the Earth, and he was landing in the heart of Boston, Massachusetts.