During the ride home from the Warleggan ball early the following morning, they barely spoke a word nor afforded the other a glance. Demelza hurried into the house, looking for Prudie and little Julia. Catching sight of her daughter finally wrested a smile from her mouth and she lifted the child in her arms, burying her face in the warm, fragrant neck and hair of the girl. Demelza could not help but let out an audible sigh. She asked Prudie to unlace her ball gown and putting Julia back down for a moment, she slipped out of the lavish golden dress and into her daily frock, which had been patiently lying in the window sill for her to return. Demelza then seated herself in the rocking chair by the kitchen window, Julia on her lap.
She sang to the little girl and rocked her, back and forth, back and forth, which always had a calming effect on Julia when she was restless or unable to sleep, and now it was having a similar effect on Demelza. She suddenly felt how tired she actually was from the past few days' events, how tense and profoundly unsettled. After sitting with Julia like this for what must have been half an hour, Demelza called for Prudie again, asking her whether she could take Julia with her and Jud on their weekly visit into town. A visit which Demelza knew would delight Julia and would give her enough time for some proper sleep before returning to her wifely and motherly duties.
Demelza suddenly wondered what Ross had been doing since they arrived back home and went to look for him. When she entered his room, she saw a note on his desk. 'Out to see Dwight. Ross.' Demelza rushed outside and caught Ross just as he was settling into Blackie's saddle, grabbing the reigns rather hastily which almost made the horse bolt, but he checked the animal just in time.
He pulled the reigns and edged Blackie in Demelza's direction. "I just got word from Dwight that there has been an outbreak of an infectious lung disease amongst the miners. I have to go and see them, see what I can do, help Dwight as best I can. My God, those poor families! As if they have not suffered enough. I do not know whether I will be home before supper. I am sorry, my love."
Ross bowed down from Blackie in attempt to kiss Demelza, expecting her to meet him halfway but she didn't. Instead, she took a step back and crossed her arms.
"Am I now?" Demelza remarked rather tersely. "Am I yer love, as ye're so want to callin' me?"
"What on earth are you talking about, Demelza? Are you questioning my love for you?" Ross retorted. "If you are referring to my recent intemperate behaviour, I can assure you that it is a subject upon which we could not agree more. Now, however, if you will excuse me, I have more pressing duties to attend to, so I hope that whatever bone you have to pick with me can hold good until supper."
Ross spurred Blackie, but Demelza, still within ear's reach, shouted after him. "An' how about the duties to yer wife?" Ross stopped Blackie in his tracks and directed the horse back towards the house. "An' wha' a fine figure of a wife! Such a fine frock ye bought 'er an' such fine jewelry!"
Ross stepped down from the horse's back and secured its reigns. He was careful not to say anything to Demelza, yet, not when she clearly had not said all she needed to say in order to clear her head. That much he had learnt about his wife: let the woman speak her mind or be damned for speaking one's own too soon. He stepped towards her but left enough distance between them lest the sparks flying from her emerald eyes set his coat on fire.
"So fine, an' yet ye made no effort to enjoy my company all ev'nin! Instead ye left me to that lech, I forgot his name, yer neighbour, who kept insistin' we dance, ' slidin' his hands down my back."
Ross clenched his fists. "That impudent swine, I swear I will..."
Angrily, Demelza continued."Or p'rhaps ye thought I'd do well fendin' for myself, like I always have, seein' as that I'm from the streets. A rag, even in fine clothin', needs no protectin'."
Ross was close to boiling point now at the suggestion that he had left Demelza to her own devices because she was not worth defending or spending time with, when clearly it had been in order to unmask that fraud Matthew, George's cousin, who had humiliated and bankrupted his own cousin Francis. But Ross had left her to take care of herself nonetheless. Last evening he had been too blind with his own rage against injustice and with his own righteousness and he had failed to see the hurt he was inflicting on his own wife, but it was becoming painfully clear to him now. He was about to speak but he should have realized that Demelza was not quite done dealing her blows.
"Or were ye so unused to me dressed like a lady, that ye needed a real lady to come tell ye that I was alone an' needin' yer comfort?" Demelza paused. "Ross, why did ye come when Elizabeth asked ye too?"
Ross found himself unable to respond and cast his eyes down despondently. Demelza had had to stoop to asking Elizabeth, her husband's former fiancee, as her go-between in order to reach her own husband. He had failed her, no, wronged her, utterly and completely.
When Ross looked up from his revels, Demelza had gone inside the house. He found her in the kitchen, fretfully polishing the kitchen table, something which she had done only the day before.
"Demelza, stop. Will you stop doing that, please?" Ross grabbed her wrist which made her drop the cloth and he turned her around to face him, though she was still avoiding his gaze. He released her wrist and took her chin in his hand instead, gently this time, lifting it in order to catch her eye.
"Look at me, Demelza, please." She finally looked at him. The sparks in her emerald eyes had died down. He placed his hands on her hips. "I want to and I must apologize for my appaling behaviour towards you last evening as well as my drunken neglect of you these past few days. Ever since Jim Carter died, I have not been in a right state of mind. Come to think of it, I may not have been in a right state before that either, breaking a man out of jail and risking imprisonment myself, which would have left you and Julia as destitute as Ginny. Will you please accept my apology, Demelza?"
An inkling of warmth was coming back to Demelza's eyes. She felt the need to rest her head on his shoulders, when all of a sudden Ross broke contact and started to pace the room. "But you know what I am like, Demelza, you know the stuff I am made of!" Ross dragged his fingers through his hair. "I cannot bear to see the suffering in good and honest men. I cannot bear to see the bias and the downright cruelty displayed by those who are supposed to administer justice and relief to the ailing, towards people less fortunate. I have to act, I have to do something!"
"Like ye did wi' me." Demelza remarked drily.
Ross hesitated but conceded. "Yes, like I did with you."
Tears of anger and hurt were welling up in Demelza's eyes. "Only ye didn't stop wi' me, though, did ye? Ye had to scrub me off an' polish me all nice so I could pass for a lady. An' by the time I realized, ye're already off rescuin' the next poor sod an' forgot all 'bout me."
Ross looked as though he had been shot. "Demelza, you know that is not true! This is cruel and unjust!"
Demelza's tears were now freely falling. "Is it now? So tell me then, truthfully. Wha' am I to ye? Am I yer wife an' yer love? Or am I one of yer ventures an' an helpin' hand savin' mankind?"
For the second time today, Ross felt himself at a loss for words. This time, however, he managed to find his wits again more quickly and realized that words would not be sufficient to convince Demelza. He had to do something.
In a few quick strides, Ross closed the distance between them. He paused long enough to observe the jolt in Demelza's eyes and the flush rising to her cheeks, before wrapping his arms around her waist, firmly locking their bodies together at the middle. He then kissed her with such ardour as Demelza had not yet witnessed, even by Ross' standards. When he finally released her lips, his breathing was uneven.
"You know I love you, don't you? With all my heart", Ross said hoarsely, before assailing her neck with fervent kisses.
"I do, I do", Demelza whispered, as she kissed his dishevelled hair, just as he was tracing the neckline of her dress. "An' I love ye."
Releasing one arm from her waist, Ross scooped Demelza up from the floor and carried her towards their bedroom. Inside the room, he gently put her down. As he was locking the dooor, Ross felt Demelza's hands on the small of his back, slowly moving upwards to the nape of his neck, where they deftly drew his coat up and over his shoulders until it fell to the ground. Ross closed his eyes and smiled.
Demelza's hands were on his waist now and slid towards the front, where she started to unbutton his waistcoast, feeling her way from one button to the next. She could hear his shallow breathing, filled with anticipation, and she could feel it underneath her arms and against her own chest. The waistcoat too fell to the ground.
Demelza tugged Ross' shirt from out of his breeches and slipped her hands underneath it. They were cold and Ross' breath hitched when he felt them on his stomach. Demelza kept them there for a few moments, relishing in the radiant warmth of Ross' body and caressing the soft down around his navel. They then worked their way upwards, as Demelza's fingers took in the curves of his toned frame.
As she slipped the shirt over his head, Ross turned around to face Demelza and met the firy emerald eyes again, only this time, they were molten with desire. His own eyes softened and his smile broadened at the sight he was taking in. Ross quickly shed some of the layers of fabric that Demelza was wearing, thereby levelling the score. They walked to the bed together and let themselves fall headlong onto it, needing no words to show how much they loved each other.
End