A/N – This is somewhat of a cross over story for ICarly and Hannah Montana. The person who crosses over is the character Amber from my story ICarly No More. I do suggest you read that story first before this one but it is not required. It would help through.
Warning – story is M rated for sexual content, sexual abuse, language, and thoughts of suicide.
Disclaimer – of course I do not own the rights for ICarly or Hannah Montana.
Synopsis – Everything that happened to Amber St. Clair in the story ICarly No more happened her junior year of high school, except her parents did die when she was thirteen. When she was in her junior year and sixteen she was attacked by the three girls, Sam Puckett (Amber's first and deep love) broke up with her and started dating Carly Shay (yes they have a relationship now), her best friend Ran Isuel died of Leukemia her junior year of high school, and her brother went back in the Marines and was sent back to Afghanistan (Per his desire).
This story deals with Amber going to live with an aunt and uncle she never met and did not know she even had. They live in Malibu Ca. and Amber goes to a new school and meets the Lilly Truscott, Miley Stewart, and Oliver. She finds herself unwillingly caught in the middle of a love/friendship triangle of two other girls. The story is mainly from Lilly and Amber 's point of view.
Prologue – Sacrifices
Amber zipped up her suitcase as she finished packing the last of her clothes. Her wardrobe was extensive and at one time she would have hoped her Uncle Arthur and Aunt Marian would have room for her clothes and shoes, but now she really did not care. Amber did not get joy from shopping or trying on new outfits or even wearing them as she did months ago. In truth, Amber did not get any joy in life at all anymore. It was the end of August and she was moving to start a new life she did not want and live with people she did not even know. But it was her choice to change. Mr. and Mrs. Isuel begged her to stay and live with her and let them adopt her, but Amber could not allow that to happen, she loved her segregate parents to much to stay. If she stayed then they would be the next victims of the curse that plagued the sixteen year old girl. She could not let that happen to them. Amber looked around the room with sadness and sighed.
She was sixteen and petite. She stood only five three and a small thin body but not sickly thin and had a nice shape for her size. Amber had long black hair that came down to the middle of her back and her very pretty heart shaped face was framed by two locks of that hair that she braided and were died a crimson red. Her skin was a pale alabaster color and her eyes were a brilliant shade of emerald green that used to sparkle with life, but know just seemed to be dull and void of any emotion. She wore her makeup in Goth Fashion with heavy dark mascara and eye shadow (applied heavier in the recent months than before) and crimson lipstick to match her finger nail polish. Amber has always been told she was a beautiful lovely girl, but she never believed it. She thought she was cute, but not beautiful. She smiled sadly and thought once more of Mr. and Mrs. Isuel and what she told them.
Mr. and Mrs. Isuel had been Amber's segregate parents since her own parents died in an automobile accident when she was thirteen and they were also the parents of her best friend Hu-Ran, just Ran to her friends. The Korean couple loved Amber as a daughter since she and Ran first met when the girls were five years old. Amber loved them as much as she did her own parents but she could not stay with them. Amber walked to the night stand in the room that she used to share with her best friend and the Isuel's daughter Ran, until Ran died of Leukemia seven months ago. She took off a silver ring with Korean characters on it and placed it on the night stand. After her brother died in Afghanistan three months ago the Isuels wanted to adopt her and then the court discovered she had an uncle and aunt she never knew. They were contacted and for some reason they decided Amber should live with them. The Isuel's were willing to fight it in court and would have won since they had a very loving and established relationship with Amber. At first Amber wanted them to and when the case was being discussed in the courts, Amber suddenly decided she wanted to move. Mr. and Mrs. Isuel asked her why and begged her to stay, but she refused and even told the Korean couple she loved as parents she did not want to live with them and they would never be family to her and she needed a real family and not two people trying to replace a daughter they lost. The words hurt the couple and crushed Amber, but Amber knew it had to be done because she loved the two so much.
"I'm sorry, Ran, I truly am…but I can't wear it anymore. I don't deserve it anymore!" Amber said aloud and wanted to cry. She wanted to cry, but she had not tears left. She was sad…more than sad, her heart was crushed, but she could not cry. She had cried all year for the losses she suffered and now her heart was growing cold. "Ran, please forgive me…I beg you as you once begged me…please forgive me! I hope your mom and dad will too, but I don't think they will. I said mean cruel things to them I did not mean, but I love them to much to see them hurt and…and to die."
Amber thought of the curse she had on her. The curse that caused everyone she loved to die. First it was her mom and dad. They died when she was thirteen. Then it was her best friend Ran, a girl she loved more than a sister or lover or anybody she ever loved before besides her mother. Next it was her brother, Patrick. He was killed while serving in the marines in Afghanistan. Weeks after the funeral Amber got a letter from his commanding officer explaining how her brother sacrificed his own life to save the life of a ten year old Afghan girl. It was a nice letter telling her she should be proud of him and how he served his country with honor and in the letter was a medal her brother was awarded. Amber did not care for the letter or the medal or the ten year old girl. Fuck pride, fuck honor, fuck the letter, fuck the medal, and fuck the ten year old girl, Amber screamed after she read the letter! She just wanted her brother back.
Then her curse struck Sam Puckett and it was that death that made Amber realize she could not love anyone and to move live with an aunt and uncle she never knew. Amber loved Samantha Puckett even if the girl did not love her anymore. Sam was her first true romantic love and they dated and lived together for a while until that bitch Carly Shay decided she too was in love with Sam instead of being just her best friend. Amber knew the love Sam had for Carly and she could not compete with that love or Carly in general. The Goth girl still vividly remembered the day she came home to the house her and Sam lived in together and found Sam and Carly in bed together. True they had broken up at the time…or as Sam put it "on a break" but that did not mean Amber loved Sam any less. Amber quickly shook her head to get the image of Sam's head between Carly's naked thighs from her mind. She still loved Sam a great deal and cried when Carly called her to tell her Sam was shot dead while she was in a convenience store when two men robbed the place. Carly even extended friendship to Amber then, but Amber rejected her. How could she be friends with the bitch who stole the love of her life from her? Another victim of the curse she had. Another person she loved dead. Amber could not let that happen to the last two people alive she loved. She had to leave to protect Ran's mom and dad.
Amber walked downstairs with two bags, the others would be sent later along with her car that belonged to her brother and now her, and saw the Isuel's waiting for her in the kitchen. Mr. Isuel hugged her tight and choked out he would send her other belongings to her and left the room. Amber knew he would go in private to morn. Mrs. Isuel then hugged her tight and cried.
"Amber, you know you can stay…we want you to…please reconsider. We…we love you so much." The small attractive Korean woman pleaded. Amber just stood there with her arms at her side. She wanted desperately to wrap her arms around the woman she loved like a mother and beg her forgiveness for words she said and did not mean. She wanted this woman to hold her and comfort her while she cried over the loss for the people she loved. But she couldn't. She had to be strong and she had to leave.
"No…I have to go. T…thank you for…for all you have done." Amber said and pried herself from the crying woman's arms and walked out of the door to the waiting cab. She ignored the loud sobs behind her as she walked from the house forever and left behind the two remaining people she loved with all her heart. The only love she had left to give. Amber knew she would never be back and never love again. She looked back one more time and saw Mr. Isuel standing in the living room window looking at her. She quickly turned back around and fought the urge to run back into the house and his arms.
Amber got into the cab and took a deep breath. She wished she could cry again. She wished she could stay, but she could not. Her heart was broken, cold, and dead. She started to ask God to protect the two but then chuckled to herself. God did not exist to her anymore.
Chapter One – Lilly Meets the New Girl.
Lilly Truscott nodded her head to Oliver who was sitting across the cafeteria waving at her to join him. She smiled and made her way to his table. So far she was having a nice first week of school. They were seniors and this was their last year and she was going to make it the best one yet. She missed Miley, but her best friend would be back in a few weeks after she finished filming her new movie. Lilly talked to Miley almost every day and while Hannah was having a good time, Miley told her Miley's time sucked. She missed her friend a great deal. As Lilly walked to the table she felt a few boys eye her…well more her nice shapely butt…and smiled. She even added a little more shake to it to entice them more. Lilly smiled, she became a terrible flirt over the past year and loved it. Her and Oliver stopped dating after a brief romance but stayed best friends and she and Miley had their fling before that but Miley decided she was just curious and started dating Jake again. Lilly really was not jealous…much…and remained very close to Miley as well. Lilly liked to flirt, date, and was no longer the shy girl she had been last year. Losing her virginity to both Oliver and Miley gave her a new found confidence in herself. Lilly used to tease her two friends and get Miley's agreement how fun it was to be a virgin twice. Once with girls and the other with boys and Miley shocked her when she confided to Lilly later that she was still a virgin with boys. She told Miley she would do things to Jake but she had yet to have sex with him. Lilly was shocked because when the two girls had their brief passionate fling, Miley was full of passion, desire, and seemed she could never get enough sex.
"What's up, Ollie?" Lilly said as she sat down.
"No much, Lillian, just waiting for you and news on our star. How's she doin?"
Lilly sighed, "Don't call me Lillian…you know I hate that…and she is good. She can't wait to get home…she misses me." Lilly said with a smug smile.
Oliver laughed, "Well I remember you used to like it when I called you Lillian…just like I used to like it when you called me Ollie…which I don't anymore by the way."
Lilly laughed, "Yeah...I used to like it when I had your dick in my mouth to, but things change Ollie."
Oliver laughed as well, "God, you can be so crude…and yes I used to like that as well stop looking at me like that…so anyway fill me in on the details."
Lilly told Oliver about her latest call from Miley and what their pop star friend was doing. While she talked to the boy, Lilly noticed the new girl walking through the cafeteria to sit at a table by herself. Lilly saw her a few times over the past few days and thought she was just beautiful; so small and delicate like a perfectly hand crafted doll. She heard the girl did not talk to anyone and kept to herself. Lilly thought she looked very sad. She talked to Oliver and stared at the girl. She very much looked like an outsider in her Goth makeup and dress. Today she was wearing a short black skirt, a red and black corset over which she wore a short light leather jacket. She wore black stockings that Lilly noticed were thigh highs as the girl sat down and Lilly saw her inadvertently flash a thigh under the table. On her hands the girl wore black lace fingerless gloves that went up to her elbows. Oliver had to ask Lily several times to repeat something since his friend seemed to be focusing on something else. The boy followed her gaze and saw the new girl. Oliver had two classes with her and thought she was strange. The girl sat alone and ignored the stares and jokes directed to her as she ate a little bit if her food and focused on writing in a composite notebook. The new girl was very out of place at the school and the only Goth at a school filled with mostly jocks, preps, and skaters.
"Lilly…earth to Lilly…finish telling me what she said. When is she going to be back?" Oliver asked.
Lily turned to her friend, "Yeah…oh…few weeks. Hey, Oliver…you have a class with her don't you…the new girl? What's she like?"
Oliver looked at her friend, "Yeah…two of them…and she is strange. Keeps to herself and ignores everyone who tries to talk to her. Hell she had even been asked out twice and just smiled and told the boys to leave her alone. She was very polite about it through. She…well…she's a freak, Lilly. Why?"
Lilly stood up, "I don't know. She intrigues me a little…and she is fucking hot. I am going to introduce myself."
Oliver sighed, "Lilly, come on…she is a huge freak…look at her and those clothes…plus if she did want to date you, Miley would be pissed."
Lilly smiled, "First, I am just going to talk to her…she looks sad…and second Miley is dating Jake and has no reason to be jealous of me anymore."
The boy laughed, "Yeah I know but she does get jealous; remember when you dated that girl over the summer…Allison…Miley freaked."
Lilly laughed, "Ollie, dear, I love Miley and she is my best friend…but she does not tell me who I talk to or who I date. If I want to get laid I will. Plus I am just…well…intrigued with the girl. Nothing more."
Lilly walked over to the new girl who was so focused writing in her notebook she did not see the blonde sit down. Lilly waited ten seconds. "Hey." She said simple and the girl looked up and at closer look Lily thought the girl was prettier than she thought before. She wore heavy applied black eye makeup and crimson lipstick and Lily thought she was hot. The girl smile tightly at her and went back to writing.
Lily frowned, she was not used to being ignored, "I said hello…I guess you did not see me sit down. Soooo again hello."
The girl looked up, "Yes I saw you sit down and heard you the first time. I was just hoping you would ignore me and leave. I really don't mean to be rude but I want to be left alone. Thank you." The girl said politely.
Lily smiled, normally she would call the girl a bitch and leave, but like she told Oliver, something about this girl, besides her beauty and dress, intrigued her. "Well…I wanted to introduce myself and if you could please stop writing and talk for a few minutes I can be on my way ooor you just may find you like my company and ask me to stick around a moment. So what are you writing anyway?" Lily said with a smile. The Goth girl looked up and closed her notebook. She then folded her hands neatly and lady like over the book, looked at Lilly, and sighed.
"Ok…let's get this over with. I am the new girl and a freak and outsider here so I guess you are the cool girl who hangs with the popular crowd and you were chosen to torment me and make my life a living hell while I am here. Well, popular girl, may I ask we do this tomorrow. I promise I will be here at the same time and you can do whatever you do to me then. I am finishing a letter to a friend and have a few more thoughts in would like to write down before you beat my ass and make me lose them. I promise tomorrow I will be a willing victim. And I am pretty easy to beat up since I am pretty weak and all and it should not be a problem for you. I don't know how to fight so you can hit me over and over to your heart's content."
Lilly laughed, "That's funny…and no it is not me...except the popular part…I am too cute not to be. My name is Lilly…Lilly Truscott…and I wanted to meet you. I am not here to do anything to you but maybe help you get used to a new school and be a friend. So what do you say?"
The Goth girl smiled briefly and Lilly noticed her eyes got a spark when she mentioned her name. Lilly thought those eyes could hypnotize her when they sparkled like that. "Lilly…beautiful name…" the girl muttered and then her eyes went to their cold lifeless green again, "well Lilly, that is a kind gesture, but I am not going to be around much longer…but thank you…it was nice of you." The girl picked her pen back up and was going to write again but looked up when Lilly did not move. She gave the pretty blonde girl a curious look. Lilly smiled again.
"Just wanted to know your name so I could introduce you around to my friends…just in case I run into you later, you know."
The girl sighed, "Amber…my name is Amber St. Claire. So may I be alone now so I can finish my letter?"
Lilly stood, "Sure thing, Amber St. Claire, and nice to meet you. I'll see you around and hopefully we can talk again." Lilly walked back to the table with Oliver and the boy smiled at her. "See…she's a freak. I told you."
Lilly gave Oliver a sharp look, "Shut the fuck up Ollie…she is not a freak," Lilly glanced out the girl and frowned, "She is…she is a sad girl…a very sad girl."
Amber opened her notebook and finished the last two pages left in the book and the bell rang signaling lunch was over. Amber pulled a black silk ribbon from her purse and tied it around the notebook in a bow. She gathered her other belongings and went to her next class. It was gym and she would not dress out and get a zero for the day again. She did not care if she did just like her other classes. Amber thought it humorous in a non humorous way that she used to always strive to be perfect in her school work and most of the time was. She had dreams of going to Berkley ever since she was twelve and she had the perfect grades and an awesome SAT score to go there or any other school she wanted, but know she did not care. She only wanted one thing so she just sat in her class writing in her book the "letter" to her friend when she could and ignored everyone else. During her last class, History, they had a pop quiz and Amber just signed her name to the paper and turned it in. She knew all the answers but she did not care. She did not care about anything anymore. She just wished she had the courage she needed. The courage to do what she needed so she could see the people she loved again. She wished she had the courage to do what she needed to do to see her Ran again.
Over the next two days, Lilly sought out the strange new girl but did not see her much. Lilly tried to talk to the girl again at lunch the next day, but again got told to leave her alone. Lilly grinned at how polite the girl had been and was even more intrigued by her. The next day Amber stopped coming to the cafeteria to eat and Lilly only saw glances of her in the halls. She asked Oliver about her and the boy told her the same. She was quite and a freak. Lilly slapped him across the head for his comment. It wasn't until Friday afternoon that Lilly got to interact with the new girl. Lilly had her back pack across her shoulder and was going to meet Oliver at the beach later. She was glad school was over for the day and about to make it out the door when she noticed a small commotion out of the corner of her eye. It looked as if a fight started. Lilly was curious to see who was involved and pushed her way through the small crowd. The pretty blonde saw the bitches Ashley Dewitt and Amber Addison standing over the new girl. The Goth girl was on her knees picking up her books that were scattered on the hall floor. Lilly felt her anger rise and pushed Ashley from behind and the girl fell against the locker.
"God, bitch, leave her alone!" Lilly yelled.
Amber Addison smiled at Lilly, "Aww…did we bother your new girlfriend? God Lilly, your taste in girls sure has gone downhill. At least Allison was pretty, but this whore is a freak.
Ashley giggled as she walked to stand next to her friend. "Yeah Truscott, the new girl is a freak and I thought she may be a dyke like you and now we know she is. If you can't at least fuck boys, get girls with more class than this trashy whore. I warned her once to stay away from my boyfriend but she couldn't keep to herself. Umm…maybe she likes both boys and girls…do you whore? Do you like both dick and pussy?"
Amber looked up, "I didn't talk to him. He came on to me. I told you I would not talk to him and I didn't. I did as you asked, so please leave me alone." Lilly noticed that while Amber was not really defending herself there was no pleading in her voice. It was just a dead pan sounding statement.
"Please, whore, Michael would not even let a girl like you lick his shoes. I warn you, leave him alone!"
"Ashley, your boyfriend is an asshole and will fuck anything that moves…look at you…so leave the girl alone or I will kick your ass."
The two popular girls backed up and then walked away. Lilly bent down and helped Amber pick up her books. She handed the Goth girl the books she picked up and the girl took them, whispered a thank you. Lilly noticed for the first time the girl had a loose sloppy wrapped bandage on her left hand.
"Yeah, they can be bitches but don't worry about them. They would really never hurt you physically, just words. Here give me your hand, your bandage is falling off." Lilly did not wait for an answer and gently grabbed the girl's arm. Amber tried to pull it back, but Lilly was much stronger than she was. Lilly unwrapped it and her eyes grew wide.
"God, girl…what happened…it looks awful!" The hand was burned and Lilly could see small imprints of an iron burned into the girl's palm.
"I…I burned myself ironing." Amber said and jerked her hand back. "I…I have to go. The man…I mean my uncle…is waiting for me and he does not like it when I am late."
Lilly smiled sadly at the girl, "You should get that looked at and put something on it…it looks bad. It must hurt and don't worry about those bitches…they are really harmless.
Amber looked at Lilly and let out a harsh non humorous chuckle, "Well…they could not do anything to me that had not been done before anyway…again thank you." The girl muttered and walked away. Lilly watched her go and felt sadness for her. Something was wrong with that girl and she wanted to find out. The blonde shrugged and was about to leave when she noticed a black and white notebook with a black ribbon tied around it on the floor that slid under the lockers. Lilly picked it up and was about to run after Amber to give it back then hesitated.
"Ok…yeah it's so so wrong, Lilly, but I have to read it! Maybe then I could find out what is wrong with her. I can then just turn it in to a teacher and they can give it back to the girl." Lilly stuffed the notebook into her back pack and went to meet Oliver at the beach. She would change into her bikini there.