As Levi wasn't the dating type, Erwin took to visiting him at his apartment after work. Sometimes, he would meet him in the front and they'd walk somewhere, but, as the days grew colder in their march towards December, they often kept inside. More often than not, they took refuge in the warm, safe haven of Levi's bed.
It was nice, the thing they had going on. They became familiar with each other very quickly. Their informal meeting surely played a part in that, but it was more than just that. After spending the majority of his life never believing in such a thing as true love and soulmates, Erwin was beginning to suspect that he understood the meaning of those words. His mother was always concerned that he wouldn't stop working for long enough to find someone who would take care of him, but perhaps she could finally stop worrying.
With as fast as their relationship was progressing, he couldn't help feeling like maybe it was too fast. He couldn't remember the last time he spent so much time with someone else. When they weren't together, Levi also consumed his thoughts. He worried a little that it would affect his performance at work, but he hadn't noticed any significant changes. If anything, Levi gave him something to look forward to, making his tedious hours feel more bearable.
He worried about it less, eventually. When he noticed the way that Levi would get nervous when he had to leave, he realized that Levi wanted him there as much as he wanted to be there with him. Just the same as the first night they met, Levi still stubbornly kept his thoughts and feelings inside, but Erwin was getting much better at decoding his expressions, at interpreting his body language.
It wasn't just his imagination. He was someone important to Levi now, too.
On the first Friday of December, Erwin decided that he would invite Levi to his house. Since they met, he hadn't had him over to his own place a single time – not for any particular reason, really. Levi seemed to be most comfortable when they were at his apartment, so he didn't feel like there was a need to change things. Things were good the way they were, but if their relationship was going to go any farther, the least he could do was show him his place; maybe make dinner for him, light some candles... Make it romantic.
What was the point of even having his own house if he was never going to have anyone else over?
So, that Friday, he texted Levi before leaving work and asked if he would like to come to his place. It slipped his mind that Levi's hours were different, working at the video store.
Levi agreed, though. As long as Erwin didn't mind waiting for him to get off work, he would gladly come to his place. Erwin wondered if it was just his imagination. It took Levi a while to reply to his text. He could have just been busy at work, or he was a little nervous about finally seeing what his house was like.
There was a big difference between a house and an apartment. It was something that made the gap in their careers look wider, and it made Erwin feel guilty, but there was nothing he could do about that. As if it were any consolation, he decided not to go back home after work, leaving his house in the same condition it was in when he left that morning, and headed straight to the place where Levi worked after he left.
It was the first time he visited the video rental store. He parked his car on the street it was on, but it took him a bit of walking to figure out where it was located. Snuggled in between an old, family-run deli and a hobby shop was Film Reel Life, the proudly antiquated video store. If the worn sign above the awning weren't enough to tell him that he'd found the right place, he also noticed a familiar figure in the shop's front window.
With an intense look of concentration, Levi balanced on his tiptoes with a spray bottle of window cleaner in one hand, and a white cloth in the other, briskly waxing circles around a stubborn smudge on the window. It seemed that he hadn't noticed him watching yet, but that changed when Erwin stepped inside, his presence announced by the hollow jangle of bells from above the door. Noticing who entered, Levi looked down at the bottle in his hand and slowly lowered himself back down onto his heels.
"I think that smudge is on the outside," Erwin observantly noted.
Looking back at the window, Levi tilted his head to the side and paced around from left to right until he nodded in agreement. He shoved the cloth into the front pocket of the blue apron he was wearing and tossed the bottle under the desk behind him, beneath the register.
"Well, whatever," he said, shrugging. "Slow day. Not like I had anything better to do."
Erwin took that moment as his opportunity to look around the store. It was just a small place, so he could see most of it from where he stood. Tall rows of shelves packed with VHS tapes were surrounded by a perimeter of even more shelves. Toward the back, he noticed a sign hanging above an open door that said, in all-caps, "ADULT". All of the tapes looked so dated and used, he would have expected the store to carry a musty scent, but Levi's meticulous cleaning must have been to thank for the lack of it.
"It's really quiet in here," he said, turning back to Levi. "Are you the only one here?"
"Manager's in the back, so I'm not alone. There were two boys who walked in here a while ago, though... I've got a fine guess where they're hiding."
Erwin looked back at the conspicuous adult room.
"Two boys, huh? Did they look old enough to go in there?"
Levi grinned and took a seat at the desk so he could rest his chin in his hands. "Yeah, well. If a couple of teenage boys come into a place like this to browse around instead of looking up any of the cheap amateur shit they could find on their computers at home, I feel like I can cut them a little slack. Vintage pornography is an acquired taste. I can respect that."
It wasn't really a matter of respect. Was the manager aware that Levi let kids waltz into the adult section unattended like that?
"You said they came in a while ago. How long is 'a while ago?'" Erwin asked.
Levi lifted his wrist, realized he wasn't wearing a watch, then spun around to look at the analog clock hanging on the wall near the entrance. "...About ten minutes ago," he said. "If they take more than five minutes, that's when I usually go check to make sure nothing freaky's happening back there. I guess I'm a bit overdue. You wanna go break up the party with me?"
"What?"
"Alright, let's go," Levi said, hopping off the tall stool. Rounding the front desk, he walked slowly down the far aisle, waiting for Erwin to follow. Standing outside the adult room, Levi lifted a fist to his mouth and loudly cleared his throat. "I'll give you two until the count of three to zip your pants before I come in, alright?"
That was unusually courteous of him.
Coming from inside the room, Erwin heard two surprised voices and heard a lot of frantic jangling and rustling, confirming what Levi had suspected.
Before Levi could reach 'three', two very red, flustered teenage boys stumbled out of the room, adjusting their clothes. They glanced up at them with startled faces before laughing like nervous idiots and ran out of the store, occasionally tripping over their own sagging pants.
"You see?" Levi said, turning around with a very matter-of-fact nod. "I enjoy what I do. It's always quiet here, the regulars are some nice folks, and the most difficult task I face is having to shoo a few hormonal kids out of the porn section. It's not bad."
It did seem like a job that Levi had full command over. He could only wonder what his mysterious manager was like, to be in charge of such a laid-back, niche business.
Erwin took a few steps inside the room the two boys had been occupying a moment before and took a look around. Levi followed him in and started straightening the things on the shelves.
"I wonder what they were so interested in in here," Erwin said, his eyes roaming over the rows of tapes from decades past. "The women on the covers of these have such big hair... Hair everywhere, really. You really don't see people looking like this anymore, do you? These all look like real people."
"I know what they were looking at," Levi said, proudly holding up an ancient-looking clam shell box. "I know where everything goes and this one got moved."
Coming closer, Erwin took the box from him. He turned it over to read the cover and was immediately shocked by its title. "'The Taming of Adam?' Is this... gay porn? They made gay porn back then?"
"Of course they did," Levi said, snatching the box back, turning it over to view the back cover and description with a glow of admiration in his eyes. "This video's got history. Its main star, Adam Hardy, was the first man to ever lose his anal virginity on film – in our country, at least. It was a big deal when it came out. It shows the whole thing in full, graphic detail, not like the shit you see now that glosses over the realities of gay sex. It was an important statement for the time."
"Did it inspire you?" Erwin asked, letting out a chuckle. "Actually, since I don't have much planned tonight, why don't we check this one out? We can watch it at my place."
"You have a VHS player...?" Levi asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.
Erwin sighed. "I'm older than you, you know. Yes, I have a VHS player."
Levi tried to keep a neutral expression, but Erwin could tell that he was pleased.
He made the mistake of looking at his bare wrist again before asking what time it was. When he told him, Levi immediately pulled off his apron and flew out of the room, disappearing through another door at the back of the store, then reemerging a moment later with his coat on and the clam shell still in hand. Erwin heard the voice of an old man say good night and Levi quickly returned it from over his shoulder. Skidding behind the register, he scanned the video, opened it to stick a slip inside, and then stood in front of the door as if he were the one who'd been waiting.
Levi acted a little skittish during the ride to his house. Taking notice, Erwin felt his own heartbeat quicken anxiously, worried about what Levi would think of his house. It was a fairly modest place, but a whole house felt too big for just one person. Most of the time, he wasn't even there – especially now that he kept visiting Levi. If things kept on as they were, he was going to forget what it even looked like before long.
As he stepped out of the car, Erwin was hesitant to even look at Levi, afraid to find out what he thought by reading his face. He reached the door before Levi to get it unlocked and tried to keep his nerves calm as he allowed him inside. The sound of his pulse in his ears was louder than the door as it shut behind him.
Levi crept into the foyer, glancing around before casually sliding off his shoes. His head stayed down, looking at the place where he put them, then looked toward the bottom of the door, turned around, and followed the edge of the wall all the way to the second floor stairs in front of him.
"Salt," he said, his nose wrinkling.
Erwin followed where he looked, noticing that, yes, there was quite a bit of white salt stuck around his door from when he'd tried to clear the snow around the front steps. He knew it didn't look good like that, but it was just a seasonal thing. He planned to clean it eventually.
"How long did you intend to leave it like that?" Levi asked.
That darkly calm tone of voice scared him. "I don't know. I'm busy, you know. Haven't had much time to get to something like that yet."
Besides, he intentionally left things the way they were so that Levi wouldn't feel intimidated. Perhaps that had backfired...
"You're going to ruin your shoes if you leave salt around like that. It spreads everywhere. Your shoes are leather, aren't they? They'll crack."
He hadn't realized what he had started. What was intended to be a romantic night turned into a night of intensive cleaning. He showed Levi around his kitchen and showed him to his supply closet where he kept his broom, buckets, and various cleansers. His closet apparently wasn't up to Levi's standards, but he still managed with a bucket and some sponges. With his work slacks rolled up to his knees, Erwin got on the floor with him and spent the first hour of their evening turning the landing into a much cleaner, neater place.
Just when he thought they might be finished, Levi dove back into the closet for a duster and acquainted himself with every dust-covered surface in his living room. Before he knew it, it was dark out and Levi was still busily rearranging and straightening his things. By the time he was finally satisfied with the living room, it was well into late evening and Erwin's stomach was starting to cramp from hunger.
"Are you done now?" Erwin asked when he noticed Levi pausing, looking around at the living room with a thoughtful look. He hoped that he didn't sound irritated. His stomach was to blame.
Levi nodded, peeling off the dirty duster sleeve, retreating to his laundry room to toss it into the hamper. He already knew where that was. It was... astounding. He seemed to have a very specific set of priorities.
He came back looking a little guilty, his chin tilted toward his chest. "Sorry," he said softly. "I... Can I use your shower now? I got pretty dusty and I was all over the floor, so..."
Quirk or something more obsessive, Erwin wasn't too concerned by it at the moment. It sounded like there was something else he wanted to say, but he couldn't quite get it out the way he wanted. This was a new situation for Levi, so Erwin could forgive him for his impulses. It wasn't like he was interrupting any super plans or anything anyway.
Before Levi could climb the stairs to shower, he called after him, holding up the phone and asked, in an embarrassingly desperate voice, if he could call for Chinese to save them from further hassle.
The food was quick, arriving before Levi even came out of the shower. Erwin took that time to figure out how to plug his old VHS player up to his new TV, getting extremely frustrated more than once before realizing how simple it had been all along. Sensing that Levi would be out soon, he dimmed the lights in the living room and brought out some plates for their food in an attempt to make things look at least marginally more romantic before he got back. At last, with a deep sigh, he sunk into the couch to wait.
He turned around, almost dropping the TV remote when he saw Levi walk in, toweling his hair, wearing one of the white, button-down shirts he wore for work.
"Oh yeah, I hope you don't mind. I didn't feel like putting my other clothes back on and I saw this sitting around so." Levi paused, eyes narrowing at him. He must have noticed the way he was trying to avert his eyes, tempted to stare at his bare legs. "You can ogle me. That's why I put this on."
"I thought you said it was because you didn't want put your other clothes back on yet."
"Just testing to see if you could hear me," Levi said with a small smirk.
True. His brain function slowed with each step Levi took toward the couch. The shirt was just long enough to cover him, but every movement he made threatened to expose a precious glimpse of what was underneath. He couldn't quite tell if he was wearing anything underneath there... Levi told him that it was alright for him to stare, so he shouldn't feel guilty if he kept his eyes there for a little longer...
"Oh, the food's here," Levi said, sniffing the air. He sunk down into the cushion next to Erwin and began rooting through the various carryout boxes on the table in front of them, looking for what he told Erwin to order for him. As he leaned forward, Erwin's eyes carefully watched the shirt slide up, revealing more and more of his thigh until he was sure that Levi wasn't wearing anything underneath.
How was he supposed to eat with a boner...?
They were going to put in that old porn video of Levi's, so at least he had another excuse if he needed it.
Levi grabbed the remote from nearby and turned on the TV, then got up with the video to put it into the player. Erwin made himself avoid looking as Levi bent over to put it in, but his mind decided to fill in all of the details for him, whether he looked or not. He was glad that he plugged it in before Levi got back, because he seemed impressed with the way he had everything set up. The tape started, Levi came back to the couch and started rolling up the shirt's long sleeves, getting ready to dig into his food.
The video had the direct opposite effect on his boner than Erwin had expected. When Levi said that it showed the realities of gay sex in 'graphic detail', he hadn't realized how graphic he meant. There were parts that really showed the age of the video that got some good laughs out of both of them, at least.
Before Erwin realized it, he became so engrossed in the video that he completely finished his box of Chinese. Next to him, Levi looked wiped out already after just half of his box, rubbing his stomach with a satisfied look on his face.
Things had gone much better than he thought they would. His first impression, that he didn't have to try hard to impress Levi, must have been correct after all. Their day together felt like any other day, and it was comfortable. It was familiar, and fine just the way it was. If he could spend every day like this, with the warmth of Levi beside him...
"You know, I got this place thinking that I would have people over all the time," Erwin said during a lull in the video's action. "I don't know what I was thinking, though. I've never been that social. It's kind of depressing when it's just me here."
Levi looked up, holding his box with both hands. "It's a nice place as long as you keep it clean."
Erwin laughed. "Now you know my secret; that I'm too busy to clean it. I'm just one person, anyway. It would take me too long to clean it all by myself."
Levi looked down at his box and slowly started closing the flaps on top to seal it. "Are you... saying that you need me here to clean your house for you?"
That wasn't quite it, but he could tell that Levi was joking. Though, the sudden cleaning spree had made a difference that he was quite grateful for now that he wasn't starving.
"Actually, I was wondering if you have any plans for Christmas. I'm going to be at my parents' for Christmas Eve, but I don't have any real plans for Christmas day. I suppose I could go back to my parents' house again because some other family will be there for Christmas, but I haven't decided yet..."
"Your parents, huh..."
Was there something wrong with that? "Are you visiting family then?"
For a second, he could've sworn he saw something dark flash across Levi's distant expression, but it was immediately replaced by a grin. "Don't have any," he said.
"What do you mean? You don't have any family in the city or..."
"Don't have any. Like, I'm on my own. My parents died when I was little and I never got close to the rest of my family. My grandmother on my mother's side took care of me until she died. That's all there is to it." He turned toward him, hesitantly meeting his eyes. "But, look, don't get bent out of shape about that. It was a long time ago. It doesn't bother me. So don't worry about it."
It didn't really sound like it didn't bother him, but Erwin wasn't going to press it.
It was still probably way too soon to take Levi to meet his parents, especially on Christmas Eve, but if he had no one to spend Christmas with, then it seemed that Erwin had plans after all.
"We'll spend Christmas together."
"Don't say something like that just because you feel sorry for-"
"I don't," he said. Quickly realizing how that sounded, he said, "I mean that I'm not saying that because of what you just told me. I already planned to ask you to spend Christmas with me. If you think it's too soon for us to spend a holiday together, then we don't have to, but I thought I'd ask."
Levi's fingers drummed on the sides of the carryout box. His eyes remained down, ignoring what was on the TV, avoiding looking at Erwin.
First taking a deep breath, Erwin said, "You're important to me now, Levi. It's not unreasonable for me to want to spend a special day of the year with someone special to me, is it?"
Levi finally leaned forward to put the box on the table, then placed his hands on his knees.
"I'm sorry," he said suddenly. "About before, I mean. I was nervous, coming here for the first time, so I needed something to distract me, so I- I went crazy and started cleaning everything."
"It's fine," Erwin said slowly, unable to figure out why he was apologizing for that now.
Finally, Levi turned to look at him. There were rings under his eyes, darkening them, making him look tired. Whatever he was thinking about must have been exhausting. "I'm not used to being special to someone, I guess," he said quietly.
Erwin couldn't help but smile at his honest response. Setting his box down on the table next to Levi's, he scooted closer to him until their thighs touched. Careful not to startle him further, he slowly put his arm around Levi's shoulders.
"Am I special to you, too?" he asked, leaning close to nudge his forehead against Levi's.
And received a light headbutt in return. "Shut up. Don't say stupid shit like that," Levi scoffed. "...Of course you are. I feel like you've been special to me for a really, really long time."
A long time...
From somewhere in their past to far into the future, Erwin would be glad if he could always remain special to someone like Levi.