"Prongsie! Prongsie!"
I looked up at the holler, even though it wasn't directed towards me. Sirius bounded forward across the commons, his messy mop of hair bounced after him, he was grinning but somehow he managed to have his tongue lolling out like a dog with its head out a car window.
I pushed my hair back, and then pointed to a trail leading down to the grounds. As Sirius rushed past me, I closed my book and followed at a slower pace.
"What's so important?" I asked quietly.
Sirius didn't seem to hear, so I cleared my throat he looked back at me, in surprise but smiling wildly. "Well 'ello Moony."
I gave a slight nod. "Why do you need to talk to James?" I asked, speeding up a bit as he slowed down. We fell in quick strides together.
He grinned and shook his head, "no no. can't tell just yet… come on then. You can listen." He grabbed my arm and dragged me with him as he sped into a run.
"Slow down!" I snapped trying to keep up, "SIRIUS! Slow down." I clutched my book against my chest, and glared at him.
He didn't stop till we found the half crumbled wall Lily was sitting on top of. James was standing in front of her- leaning in front of her- into her. One of his hands disappeared into her hair, and the other I couldn't see but I knew where it might be. They appeared to be trying to eat the others face.
Sirius stopped short and I stumbled over my own feet, dropping my book and scattering my notes.
"Git." I hissed bending down to pick up my stuff.
"Hey you two, stop snogging for a second, I've got exciting news." Sirius half laughed speaking.
James turned to us eyes wide.
"Yeah?" he asked. Eager for the news. Lily however was blushing and hiding her face, and not meeting my gaze.
"I turned Snivellus's potions book into a blast ended skrute." Sirius said proudly, beaming smugly.
I sighed and shook my head. James grinned, and looked about to congratulate him but Lily was frowning and glaring Sirius's way and then his.
"That's just awful and mean. You horrible sod." She snapped getting up angrily and storming off.
James watched her frowning slightly.
"I think it's cool." He said grinning at Sirius and giving him two thumbs up before he ran after Lilly.
I watched as he caught up to her and tried to pull her into a hug. She pulled back and started lecturing him… or something like that. I looked to Sirius he seemed a bit put out.
"Mooney?" he asked almost pleaded, he was looking for praise.
"Yeah. That's great." I said rolling my eyes. "Way to go." I gave a sarcastic triumph flag wave.
Sirius slumped. "What's with you guys! You used to love torturing Snivellus." He griped.
I glanced at him as he walked over to the wall picking at the stones. "Well… Lily never did, but forget her…. you and Prongs… and Wormtail… you used to love it." He looked up at me tossing a rock away.
"James is just catering to Lily… you heard him. He still thinks it's cool." I shrugged and leaned against the wall, trying to disappear back into my studies.
"Yeah. I wish he'd never gotten her… he was so cool before. Now he's got to be some nice little boy…" he glared up at their backs, then glanced to me looking me up and down. "Yeah, and what about you Mooney? You're not at all energetic today…. That time of month?" he meant it as a joke, like he was talking to one of his thousands of female admirers.
"Actually… it's getting close." I said blushing. His eyes widened then he started laughing.
"Oh, yeah. I'd kinda forgotten!" he said chuckling. I slammed my book shut and glared at him.
"Great. I'm glad ONE of us can forget." I snarled. "It's not like I grow fangs, and fur and look like a freak once a month!"
He blinked quieting.
"Merlin, you're touchy." He sighed.
I took a deep breath and sat against the wall curling my knees into my chest and hugging them. "I guess I'm just stressed is all." I said softly into my knees looking out across the lake.
Sirius touched my head, I looked up to him surprised, he grinned and ruffled my hair.
"Shake some of that stress off, it's not like you have to study for O.W.L.'s. Come on, let's play catch!" He said running off, changing to a dog as he did.
I stood up. "We DO have O.W.L.'s to study for!" I shouted after him. He didn't seem to hear; I shook my head laughing and chased him.
"That was easy… if you studied." James said as he sat down at the great hall for dinner. He was talking abut pour potions O.W.L. we'd had it as our last class of the day.
"Yeah, and I didn't." I muttered shooting a glare to Sirius, who garbled an incoherent 'what' through his mouthful of food. "Don't talk with your mouth full." I said under my breath and looked back to James. "Since when do you study?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Since Lilly won't snog me when she wants to… roll." The last bit was directed towards Padfoot who handed over a roll, and James tore into it with as little manners as pad.
"You two are disgusting." I said rolling my eyes as they both gave me innocent looks. "At least chew with your mouths closed!" I said in exasperation.
"I agree." Lily said sitting beside me, and eyeing both of the others boys with distaste.
"Did'ya see Snivellus?" Sirius said quickly as he swallowed.
James's eyes grew wide. "No… I hadn't." he said now looking around.
I looked down to my food, cutting my steak. "And you probably won't now. He looked pretty badly burnt; he probably went to see Madame Pompfrey."
"Really? Niiiice."
I glanced up in time to see James and Sirius exchange high fives.
"That's just mean." Lily sniped.
"Oh come on lily… the guys a right git, he deserves to be fried by a skrute." James whined.
Lilly opened her mouth to tell him off, but Sirius interrupted by slapping the table repeatedly.
"Look! Look!" he said staring smugly towards the entrance to the great hall. We all looked but he spoke up anyways. "Are you looking?" he asked glancing. I caught his eyes.
"Yeah, we are shut up." I snapped.
Our four sets of eyes were glued to a battered looking Snape. Entering the hall, his worse burns were bandaged. His robes singed. He ignored the stairs and sat down at the Slytherin table.
Sirius looked like he was going to make some sorta of cat call, or jeer towards Snape so I grabbed his hand. His attention snapped towards me.
"Come on, leave him be. That's enough for today, isn't it?" I said giving him a steely stare.
"Fine." He huffed shaking my arm off and returning to snarfing his food.
I sat back and returned a small smile to lily's mouthed 'thank you'.
I drifted off to thought as James and Lily talked over me, and Sirius continued his crusade on the food.
Sirius…
I watched him, letting my eyes follow his profile, memorizing his pale skin and light eyes. I ached to smooth my hand over the dark bags under his eyes, the left slightly purple form a healing black eye…
I wanted to run my hands through his long tangled black hair…
And god, I wanted to tell him how I felt…
"What's it… two, three days 'till the full moon." He asked through a mouthful of steak and pumpkin juice.
I was mercilessly dragged out of my day dream.
"Yeah. Two." I bitched, getting up.
"Wait... where you going?" Peter asked, he was just joining us at the table.
"To bed." I said slipping past him. Glancing back I saw peter ask something to Sirius who shrugged noncommittally. Lilly had slid over next to James, and since he was done eating she was leaning against him still talking.
I stormed out of the hall, and up the stairs. Shooting angry glares at little first years and second years who were trying to sneak snog sessions in the hall.
"Everyone's got someone." I grumbled to myself as I reached the fat lady.
"What's that honey?" she asked nicely.
"Butteripple." I snapped, biting my tongue to keep form snapping at her to mind her own business.
She frowned at me but swung away so I could enter into the commons. I trudged up the boy's stair case and into my room.
I tossed on my pajamas, but I didn't feel like sleeping. Instead I threw my robe on and left again. Going up to the top floor then climbing up into the astronomy tower.
It was almost always empty.
I threw open one of the windows, letting the cool night breeze come take away some of the intoxicating smell of incense that lingered. I perched in the window sill watching the grounds. A black shadow moved across them, and my mind immediately assumed it to be a dog.
"Idiot." I hissed under my breath leaning my head against the sill and closing my eyes rubbing my temple. "Idiot, idiot. What's you're problem. He is your best mate." I said the last through gritted teeth, to myself of course.
I sighed and let my mind drift; I immediately could picture my mate in my head, tall, slim. Rugged, and messy. He never wore anything the proper way… someday you could even see his skinny hips, and barely protruding hip bones because his sweater was hitched up so high. I wondered what it'd be like to touch those hips… to rest my han-
"No! Stop it." I growled at myself let ting my eyes fly open and looking at my reflection in the mirror as I addressed myself.
"Stop fantazing… because here's the straight truth Remus. He is your best mate, AND a guy. You won't ever be with him, because bloody hell, he ISN'T gay. And if he was, you are just an unsightly clumsy werewolf, who's to shy to even tell him how he feels." I snapped glaring at myself. Then I sighed and pushed my bangs out of my eyes. I traced the scars on my forehead, they'd just started to fade completely… and in two days I'd go get more.
A thought bubbled in my head.
If I had any chance… any at all. .00000000000001 percent… I might as well tell him before I got any worse looking. And that meant… two days. I'd have two days to tell him.
Two days might not be enough.
"Sorry, I didn't see you… I guess… I'll be leaving." An unexpected, but very familiar voice said.
I whipped around looking to the door way.
"Snive- Snape!" I said in surprise, catching myself.
He stared wide eyed then scowled. "Oh, it's you Lupin." He snapped.
I wasn't alarmed by his quick hostility… not surprising when you remembered who I hung around… what had been done today.
"You ok?" I asked feeling really guilty about the burns.
"What do you care?" he snapped back, turning to leave.
"Wait! Sniv-uh- Snape!" I shouted after him, getting off the window sill.
"What?" he hissed turning on his heel to face me. I stared up that hooked nose of his into his dark eyes.
"Uh, sorry… for… for you know… Sirius. He's and idiot, but if you just got to know him you probably wouldn't-" I stopped seeing the mixture of looks in his eyes. Thanks and distrust.
"Wouldn't what?" he asked sounding degrading.
"Fight." I said softly.
"Doubt it." He turned and left with a swish of his robe.
I gritted my teeth, his icy air made me feel a little less guilty about finding the fun in Sirius's prank. Just a little.
I closed the window, and returned to my dorm. Feeling better after some fresh air… and deep thought. I got to my room and James was just returning, he had a sheepish grin, and I knew that across the commons Lily was sneaking back into bed too.
I said good night to him, and he climbed in bed. I sat on mine staring at Sirius.
He was a lump in his bed. Out like a light.
I bit my lip.
How would I say it? Would I just blurt it out? When would I say it? Breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? Charms or potions… in the hall… before bed? When….?
I slid under the covers.
Best to write a letter….
Definitely.
I slipped into dreams.