Madness and Mayhem in Minas Tirith
Disclaimer: Both Gollum and the Luggage belong to J.R.R. Tolkien and Terry Pratchett respectively
Gollum couldn't remember how long he had been wandering the cold soulless tunnels of Minas Tirith, he couldn't remember when he had last eaten or what season it was, all he could remember was the fact he had lost his ring. For a long time that ring had been his, or rather he had been the rings', onward he trundled, muttering to himself,
" Nasssty Hobbitsses, took my preciousss, curse the Bagginssesss, yess, cursse all the little hobbitssess, stole Gollum's Birthday present sso they did."
Through the dark gloom of the Orc torches, something moved, while Gollum had come across many creatures the age he had spent there, he was disturbed by the sound of many feet very close by.
"Whatsss that noissse preciousss? Nasssty Orcsses? Nasssty Orcssess come to hurt poor Smeagol, mussst hide, yesss, hide." Gollum dodged behind a boulder, his large moon-like eyes scanning the darkness for the glint of Orc swords but all he could see was something short and square slowly pattering across the damp stones. Seeing that whatever this strange object or creature was, it wasn't an Orc or hostile, he sidled out from behind his rock, crawling on his belly along the floor to the thing, which had stopped a few metres away. As he came closer, the box was still motionless, he was close enough to touch it, he did thus, and felt it to be made of wood,
" Woodsesss?" he mused. He sat and stared at the box for some time, it didn't look dangerous, and as far as his tormented memory served him, trees and wood weren't a threat, but he also remembered that wooden boxes didn't usually walk, or have hundreds of little feet. The feet were all pink with hairy ankles, then he remembered what also had hairy, bare feet.
"Ahhh, nasssty Hobbbitsses, BAGGINSSSESS" Gollum had somehow related the box to his master and nemesis, Bilbo and Frodo Baggins. Overcome with his rage at losing the ring he flung himself at the box, clinging to the smooth lid with his webbed hands and trying to bite into it while screaming in his high, rasping voice,
"I hatesssess the nasty Hobbitssess, thief, thief!".
And then it happened. One moment the tomb like silence was shattered by his wails, the next it was back to the silence, except for the sound of hundreds of tiny feet on the wet floor and of a sapient pear wood tongue licking it's lid.
Disclaimer: Both Gollum and the Luggage belong to J.R.R. Tolkien and Terry Pratchett respectively
Gollum couldn't remember how long he had been wandering the cold soulless tunnels of Minas Tirith, he couldn't remember when he had last eaten or what season it was, all he could remember was the fact he had lost his ring. For a long time that ring had been his, or rather he had been the rings', onward he trundled, muttering to himself,
" Nasssty Hobbitsses, took my preciousss, curse the Bagginssesss, yess, cursse all the little hobbitssess, stole Gollum's Birthday present sso they did."
Through the dark gloom of the Orc torches, something moved, while Gollum had come across many creatures the age he had spent there, he was disturbed by the sound of many feet very close by.
"Whatsss that noissse preciousss? Nasssty Orcsses? Nasssty Orcssess come to hurt poor Smeagol, mussst hide, yesss, hide." Gollum dodged behind a boulder, his large moon-like eyes scanning the darkness for the glint of Orc swords but all he could see was something short and square slowly pattering across the damp stones. Seeing that whatever this strange object or creature was, it wasn't an Orc or hostile, he sidled out from behind his rock, crawling on his belly along the floor to the thing, which had stopped a few metres away. As he came closer, the box was still motionless, he was close enough to touch it, he did thus, and felt it to be made of wood,
" Woodsesss?" he mused. He sat and stared at the box for some time, it didn't look dangerous, and as far as his tormented memory served him, trees and wood weren't a threat, but he also remembered that wooden boxes didn't usually walk, or have hundreds of little feet. The feet were all pink with hairy ankles, then he remembered what also had hairy, bare feet.
"Ahhh, nasssty Hobbbitsses, BAGGINSSSESS" Gollum had somehow related the box to his master and nemesis, Bilbo and Frodo Baggins. Overcome with his rage at losing the ring he flung himself at the box, clinging to the smooth lid with his webbed hands and trying to bite into it while screaming in his high, rasping voice,
"I hatesssess the nasty Hobbitssess, thief, thief!".
And then it happened. One moment the tomb like silence was shattered by his wails, the next it was back to the silence, except for the sound of hundreds of tiny feet on the wet floor and of a sapient pear wood tongue licking it's lid.