***There wont be so many flashbacks once I get you caught up with Bella, I hope you enjoy, First Fanfic, be gentle! As with all chapters I own nothing, all of this is based off of Stephenie Meyers books!:)***

Chapter 1

Italy

It had been four years since Edward Cullen walked out of my life. With every passing day I got better at repressing my feelings, not just any feelings, but all of them. My life had changed since Edward left, everything I loved and held dear was gone. Two months after Edward left, my father died of a heart attack. I will never forget the horror of that day...

Flashback....

I woke that morning with dread, it was Monday and I had to go to school. I hated school now, the memories, the whispers and the sympathetic looks I received from everyone. I just wanted time, time to heal, time to find my way again, but everyone just wanted to help. I didn't want help!

I knew their hearts were in the right place, but I couldn't take one more person asking if I was okay, or if they could do anything. Edward was gone, he was my life, my purpose and unless they could turn back time and give me another chance to make Edward happy, then no they couldn't do anything, and I wasn't okay.

So with that thought I pushed the covers off and forced myself to just make it through the day. I knew my father would be getting up soon, and in a effort to make him feel better and worry about me less, I got up and gathered my clothes and toiletry bag and headed for the shower. When I opened the door I heard the TV on, he must have fallen asleep watching TV again.

So I went to turn the water on in the shower so it could heat up, and then started making my way down stairs to wake my father, he would be late if he didn't get up right now.

I was right he had fallen asleep in the chair in front of the TV. From the stairs I could only see the back of the chair he was in, his arm was hanging over the chair, with the remote in his hand. I walked over and grabbed the remote from him, turning off the TV and walked to the coffee table to put down the remote.

"Dad, it's time to wake up, you'll be late for work" I said putting down the remote.

He didn't stir. I looked over at him, rolling my eyes. He looked so uncomfortable, how anyone could sleep in that chair was beyond me. I smiled just slightly, and walked over to him. I reached my hand out to place it on his shoulder and tried to shake him awake. His left arm was hanging over the chair, his head was bent down with his chin on his chest, and his right arm was laying palm up in his lap. I shook his right shoulder just slightly.

"Dad, come on, you need to wake..." I couldn't even finish the sentence. His entire body fell to the ground with a loud thump.

"DAD WAKE UP!!" He didn't respond, his eyes were wide open staring strait up, they were lifeless.

"DAD, CHARLIE PLEASE"... I shook him again grabbing his forearms this time, he was cold. I couldn't think, I didn't know what to do. I checked for his pulse but felt nothing. 911 was my next thought, my dad keep his cell phone on him at all times, so I reached in his shirt pocket, put the phone on speaker and dialed 911.

"911, what is your emergency?" The women on the line stated.

"This is Isabella Swan, my father isn't breathing!" I said while trying to do CPR.

"Bella?" the women said.

In a town the size of Forks, my last name would have been enough to identify myself, my father and my place of residency.

"Yes, please I need an ambulance, HURRY!" I yelled, I was crying now.

"They are already on their way Bella, do you know CPR?" she asked trying to remain calm.

"Yes, how much longer, he isn't responding?", I was shaking now, trying to keep count on the number of compressions and breaths, but my emotions were getting the best of me.

"They should be there any second Bella, is the door open? Can they get in?" again she remained calm. By that time I could hear the sirens.

"I can hear them coming, I'll met them at the door". I said and jumped to my feet, the lady on the phone said something in response but I couldn't hear her. When I opened the door the ambulance had just pulled up. Two men ran from the ambulance and up the steps, the first guy was holding a couple bags, and the guy behind him was following with a stretcher.

"Where is he?" the first man with the bags asked.

I just ran over to my father, I couldn't talk at this point. They told me to step back and give them some room, and then they began trying to resuscitate my father.

They asked me questions, mainly just what had happened, I told them all I knew, and pushed my self up against the far corner wall. I just starred, I think I was in shook, I remember thinking I had to be dreaming, that this couldn't he happening. The first guy pulled out some "paddles" I had seen enough movies to know what was about to happen, they were going to shock my dad to try and start his heart.

"Clear" was all he said, just like in the movies. My fathers lifeless body jumped.

"Clear" and again his body jerked.

They continued this for what seemed like hours. Each time they shocked my father I felt like my own heart stopped. Then the two men working on my father looked at each other and then at me. They sat back from my fathers body a little and the second guy said...

"Time of death".... after that I just went numb, everything went black.

End of Flashback...

After my fathers death I decided to stay in Forks, I couldn't leave. The death of my father seemed to have almost pushed me over the edge, I totally fell into myself. I didn't talk much anymore, I didn't go out except when I absolutely had to, and I avoided people as much as possible.

My mother came to visit as often as she could, she was determined to get me to come back home with her. She had no idea what Forks meant to me, and why I couldn't leave. Forks was all I had left of Edward and my father if I left now it would be like I was turning my back on their memory.

It was four months after my fathers death and the end of my world was just that much closer.

Flashback...

I was sitting at the kitchen table, starring at the floor. I wasn't doing anything but sitting, I was trying to focus all my energy on not remembering, not thinking, just for a while I wanted to be alone and free of the pain. I did this a lot lately, I depended on moments like these they were all that kept me going. Just then the phone rang, I had seriously considered having the phone shut off.

The only time someone called was to check up on me and this was my alone time. I got up slowly and dragged myself to the phone, with one more deep breath I picked up the phone and placed it to my ear.

"Hello" I said, in my annoyed voice.

"Bella, it's Phil". This was new, usually it was my mom, only on rare occasions did Phil call.

"Hey Phil, what's up?" I'm sure he was calling to tell me that my mom was worried about me and he wanted me to come down.

"Bella, there has been an accident, your mom was killed in a car wreck today. Bella, honey I'm so sorry. I'm going to come get you and bring you back, we have arrangements to make. Don't leave the house, call a friend to come over until I get there." he said, I could hear the tears in his voice, the concern and the heartbreak.

"Bella?" he said.

"I'm here, when will you arrive?" I was calm, it amazed me I was so calm. But I could tell it wasn't going to last.

The shock would wear off soon and when it did I couldn't be on the phone with Phil. He would call the cops to come stay with me, but what would anyone expect, she was my mom, my best friend, she was all I had left.

"Tomorrow evening". he said, there was so much sadness in his voice, I couldn't hear anymore, I couldn't let him hear me fall apart.

"I'll be ready, Phil, see you when you get here". I said still calmly, and then I hung up the phone. I sat down right there in the kitchen floor, I cried and screamed and all that was left of me died that day, I was only a shell now, nothing more.

End of Flashback...

I couldn't think of these things anymore, why did I always torture myself with these memories. I was a vampire now and eternity is a long time to remember all that has happened. I thought human memories were suppose to fade, but not mine I remember everything and with perfect clarity. I thought most vampires only remember the burning and the pain of the change, and the day I was changed was the other memory I would love to forget.

I flinched at the thought. I put my head down and forced myself to clear my thoughts, I would not let myself remember that day or any other from my human years. I needed to find something to do to distract myself. So I started running I had no idea where I was going or what I would do when I got there, but for now I just ran, convincing myself to leave behind my past and my pain.

I was near Italy, and I knew the Volturi where located in Italy, but seeing as how I have been alone all this time since my change I knew of nothing more. I keep my distance not really wanting my presents known, I was planing on leaving Italy the following day but I needed to hunt before I started to head elsewhere.

I never knew where I was going, I was just running, running from my past, from my pain. Much to my surprise when I was changed I found that I had talents, much like Edward. I could hear thoughts, but only from other vampires, not humans.

This was helpful to me because I knew that if I heard any thoughts that meant I was near a vampire, and I knew to keep my distance. I was hunting now, I wasn't really thirsty but I was still young and I couldn't risk killing anyone. The last thing I needed was to kill a human and bring attention to myself, especially from the Volturi.

As I was hunting I heard someone's thoughts, it was a familiar voice, comforting in a way, but I couldn't make out what the thought was. I focused, trying to hear it again, I needed to know where this person was, I didn't want to be found.

"Bella?" I stiffened!

The thought was only "Bella". Who would know me out here, and where was this man at? I had not come across anyones scent. I didn't want to stick around to find out who this man was, so I sprang up from my prey and started running, and then the scent hit me. It was a vampire, of course and it was male, the scent was familiar but I couldn't place it. I stopped, frozen and again focused to find out who this man was and how to get away without being confronted.

"It can't be" was the only thought I heard, and then I heard something approaching directly in front of me.

I crouched, ready to defend myself if necessary, I didn't enjoy fighting, I had seen enough death in my life, I just wanted peace and to be left alone, but I would defend myself. Then he stepped into the clearing, I stood straight up and gasped it couldn't be.....

***Well I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, please let me know what you guys think :)***