Fruits Flip, Chapter 1

By: Kelley Ley

H-honda Tohru here. I'm sad, sensitive, and sweet and I miss my daddy so much. I cry a lot and I feel very alone. Not surprised, are you? Well, you might be surprised to know I'm a BOY.

Tohru wasn't an odd name for a boy. It would have been an odd name for a girl, but that was a moot point. Tohru felt girly as all get out, anyway. Crying was something his father, the "Red Beetle", had never done. Tohru's father was a tough yakuza boss who spent all his time either raising Hell, drinking sake, or being an absolutely amazing, strong, role-model of a father to his wimpy, innocuous son.

But Tohru, despite knowing it made him weak, couldn't stop crying. He'd lost his alpha male dad, and felt like a wolf without a pack. He had been offered a room at his grandmother's, of course. That's where Uoji and Hanaji thought he was.

But Tohru's father had taught him to be a gentleman. It just didn't seem gentlemanly to make his poor, sick grandmother look after him when she was already working herself to her weary, arthritic bones looking after his cousin, aunt, and uncle. It didn't matter if Granny had the space or not. Tohru could never feel right about accepting that kind of offer.

Tohru would've asked Uoji or Hanaji to let him stay with them, but he knew they had enough to worry about at their houses already.

So Tohru was in a tent in the middle of the woods, instead, crying. He'd thought having to live out in the woods would make him man up, or tap into his caveman side, or whatever. But all Tohru had been able to do since he'd started living in the tent was sit around and feel hungry and sad, and cry. Tohru's dad had meant more to him than anything. Now he was gone. Tohru told himself he'd just have to man up eventually, otherwise he wouldn't survive out there by himself.

There were bears out in the woods, after all, and psychos. A boy who couldn't stop crying like a little girl wouldn't scare either.

Reminding himself of that, Tohru unzipped his tent, stretched, and prepared himself for a long walk to school. He started down the path to the road, but soon realized he was lost. Geez, Tohru thought to himself. My survival instincts SUCK. I should've gone to Boy Scouts or something as a kid…instead of, you know, sitting and staring off into space and trying to imitate the stuff I saw on "Iron Chef".

Aw, man….even as a kid I was wimpy. I'd always rather make onigiri than play ball or something like that! Plus, I mean, I'm girly-looking. Small-boned, scrawny, big brown eyes like a girl's…..

As Tohru wandered through the wood, cursing his lack of Daniel Boone-esque navigation and camping skills, he swore he heard a woman's voice. If I'm NOT losing my mind and there's a girl out there who can help me find my way, I'd better find her! Tohru thought to himself. Not that I know that anyone lives out here….or want a girl who lives out here to have to drag me out of this place. Seriously, normal guys NEVER ask for directions.

Not that I'm a "normal" guy. Nah…I'm a weepy, cooking-obsessed, girly-looking orphan guy. So I guess I don't have a lot to lose!

With that thought, Tohru decided to run towards the direction where he thought the voice had come from. He found himself descending down a hill, and at the bottom stood…..

A house. And not just a house- an old-school, traditional Japanese house. And a beautiful woman was sitting on its porch! Apparently some people DO live out here! Tohru smiled to himself.

The woman on the porch looked like she was in her twenties or thirties- not that old, but too old for Tohru. She had shoulder-length black hair and a long, slender black pipe in her smiling mouth. She wore a black kimono with a grey obi sash, and she had a set of zodiac animal figurines in her lap – the quintessential yamato nadeshiko – except for the sly, knowing look she was shooting Tohru.

"Hey, you 3!" she called with a playful smile. "What are you staring at, stranger?"

"N-nothing," stammered Tohru nervously. "Umm…I was admiring your zodiac figurines."

"These old things?" blinked the mysterious woman, looking surprised. "Hmm…not a lot of zodiac fans out there."

"I-I know," said Tohru. "M-my dad used to tell me zodiac stories as a kid. I-I know most guys aren't big on fairy tales, but…."

"It's nothing to feel bad about," the woman assured him. "Actually, it's refreshing to see."

"I always felt so bad for the Cat," Tohru added.

"Really?" the woman said, raising an eyebrow. "I wonder how she'd feel about- Umm, never mind! What's your sign?"

"I'm a D-Dog," said Tohru, blinking with confusion at the woman's aborted comment about his sympathy for the Cat. He realized that he still hadn't asked the woman's name.

"Really?" the woman smiled excitedly. "You, too? I know I felt a deep connection between our-"

The woman was interrupted when the cracking of the door behind her resulted in the swift dropping of a purse upon her head. The door opened fully to reveal a petite, pretty girl in a blue-and-white school uniform with shoulder-length silver hair and wide, silver eyes that grew wider in surprise when they alighted upon an equally stunned Tohru.

The girl was none other than Sohma Yukiko, the "Princess" of Tohru's school!