Imma Firin Mah Lazar
Contains mild language and things of that nature. Don't like, please do hit the back button.
"Once upon a time… wtf is this? Why would you want to hear such a stupid story?" Lust flung the picture book at Wrath. "Ow! Ok ok Lust, you don't have to be so mean, I thought I was Wrath!" Wrath growled. "Hey guys guess what!" Envy shouted. "What?" asked Lust hopping of Gluttony (whom she was using as a chair). "I found this odd tv channel humans watch!" Envy exclaimed. "Fascinating." Lust looked unfazed by Envy's amazing discovery. "Come take a look." Greed shouted from in the other room. Lust sat in front of the tv. "Gluttony, get over here! You know I hate sitting on the floor!" "Ok Lust." Gluttony said and lumbered his way over to Lust. "The people in this show sure sing a lot." Sloth observed. "That's because it's the music channel." Pride pointed out. "Shut up, the song is coming on!" Envy barked. "Who is Lady Gaga?" Lust asked "I don't know, she reminds me of you though." Greed remarked. At first Lust seemed to hate this Gaga woman, but as the song played on it struck Lust; "Oh my God, this woman is brilliant!" she remarked at the sight of Lady Gaga's lazar bra! "What is?" Envy asked. "That lazar bra!" Lust shouted. "No Lust. That's just stupid." Envy insisted. Lust ignored him and bought one anyhow. "Are you kidding me?" Envy asked at the sight of Lust wearing a lazar bra "You look stupid." He did a small facepalm. Lust frowned, clearly unhappy about Envy's disproval. "Imma firin mah lazar!" Lust shrieked and blasted Envy with her new bra. "Damn it Lust!" Envy shouted. "Whoa.' Wrath gasped "The power level of that bra… it's over 9000!" "Wait, what?" Envy asked. "I don't know, I heard Greed say it." Wrath answered. "Greed has some issues." Envy sighed. "And Lust… she has even bigger ones." "That's what he said!" Sloth screamed and dashed across the room. "Lust, what are you doing?" Envy asked at the sight of Lust leaning over the table firing her lazar. "Making toast with mah lazar! It's like sooo much funer then using a toaster." Lust informed him as she continued heating her toast. "Awww, I burnt it." Lust whined. "There is something very wrong with you, Lust." Envy frowned. "Imma firin mah-" Lust started. "I don't think so!" Envy growled. Before Lust could fire her lazar again, Envy left the room. "Lust" Dante yelled "What are you doing?" "Well… I was firin mah lazar at Envy because he said there's something wrong with me and it hurt my feelings" Lust answered. "Lust, you don't have feelings…" Dante pointed out. "Oh yeah. Well… I refuse to stand here and be insulted!" Lust declared. "Well then have a seat princess!" Greed grinned. "Imma-" Lust started. Dante thumped the back of Lust's head. "No you aren't!" Dante yelled. "Bitch, shut up and make meh a sammich!" Lust glared at Dante. "I am in charge here!" Dante shirked "You make me a sammich!" "What time is it?" Lust asked "Adventure Time." Wrath yelled. "NO, YOU IDIOT! It's lazar time!" Lust positioned her lazars. Bzzzt! Lust fired at Dante, who let out a chain of profundities and leapt out of the way. "Are you out of your mind?" Dante got louder with every word. "No! You people just don't appreciate my creativity!" Lust insisted. "I appreciate it." Gluttony called. "At least someone here is open minded." Lust took another shot at Dante. "NO, he is small brained. A brick is smarter then that mindless human-ape!" Dante told Lust. "Imma firin mah lazar!" Lust yelled and shot at Dante for a third time. "Ya know, maybe you'd actually hit me if you don't tell me when you are going to shoot!" Dante suggested. "Or I could just do this!" Lust smirked. She then began firing her lazars non-stop at a high speed. Dante screamed and tried dodging. "Honestly woman, doesn't that hurt your boobs!" "Not at all." Lust yelled over the sound of her lazars. Lust began cackling madly "I am Sailor Lust, and in the name of the moon I shall punish you!" "Calm yo tits!" Dante scolded. "Silence, I keel you!" Lust declared. With that said, she blasted Dante with her lazar and scorched the woman. "I am victorious!" Lust bellowed. "Can I eat her now, Lust?" Gluttony questioned. "Sure, Gluttony." Lust answered with a self satisfied smile. "Dear lord, what just happened, what did I just witness?" Pride asked. "Lust went berserk with her new attire and murdered Dante" Envy explained. "You're next Envy" Lust grinned "I'm gonna blast you so hard, you won't even have time to scream." "That's what she said!" Sloth laughed and darted across the room. "Imma firin mah lazar!" Lust blasted Sloth "Your bra creeps me out." Envy's eye twitched. Lust blasted him with the lazar. "Weren't you going to warn me by saying Imma firin mah lazar?" Envy asked. "Dante said that was an ineffective method." Lust pointed out. "She was right… wait a minute, you said it before you blasted Sloth." Envy said. "Yeah, but then I put some thought into it…" Lust trailed off. "Can you just take that thing off?" Envy asked. "Of course not, this bra is my pride and happiness!" Lust shared. "I ain't yo bitch!" Pride interrupted. "Shut up, can't you see Imma fighting with Envy." Lust yelled. "Lust, you fail at life." Envy stated monotonously. "Let me count the f***s I give 1…2…3… Oh no, they just flew away!" Lust frowned. "Ugg, why did Greed introduce us to this human stuff anyways?" Envy groaned.
For those of you who are wondering; yes I Lust, I make fun of my favorite characters. Yes I do plan on continuing this fic in the near future.