Title: If You Can't Beat Them, Trick Them

Author: Forsaken2003

Pairing: S/X

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon

Comments: Always welcomed!

Summary: Spike is tired of Xander eating unhealthy.

Warnings/Spoilers: Season 5ish

Beta'd by: Unbeta'd

Prompt #332 from Tamingthemuse- If You Can't Beat Them, Trick Them

Note: From now on most of my Tamingthemuse stories will be named as the challenge.

Spike was sick of Xander eating unhealthy. No matter how much he nagged him, Xander would still only eat crap. Half the time their apartment smelt like takeout food. More once did Spike cook Xander a meal and ended up tossing it out because Xander would make a big stink about what was made. It wasn't that Spike put the blame entirely on Xander there were a lot of factors. His parents had been the big problem. For the first eighteen years of Xander life more than half the time his parents would be so drunk that they wouldn't cook. Xander didn't know any different. Then there were the Scooby's saving the world took a lot of time and being able to plan a meal was almost impossible so again takeout. Work just added to the problem. Xander saw no way to be able to make an effort to make a decent home cooked meal.

For weeks Spike thought about how to fix this and one night during kitten poker it came to him. If you can't beat them, trick them.

It only took a few days for the plan to come together.

The door swung open and Xander all but dragged Spike in. Blood seeping from Spike's chest. "It's okay, Spike. We'll get blood into you and you'll feel better."

They made it to the couch where Xander disposed of Spike before he rushed to the kitchen. Pulling open the fridge door Xander fell to his knees and searched for Spike's blood. A frown marred his face when all he saw was pigs blood. He grabbed a bag and tossed it into the microwave.

Spike lay on the couch. His injuries weren't that bad but he let Xander fuss and it would help his plan along. He heard the microwave beep. A few minutes Xander appeared with a steaming mug of blood. Spike took the mug and guzzled the blood quickly.

"Spike, why is there only pig blood in the fridge? Where's the human blood?" Xander asked as he sat on the coffee table.

"Hmm? Oh, I haven't had time to go pick some up. Been busy with all the new demons lately," Spike explained. He snuggled down and closed his eyes.

Xander frowned. "Just how long has it been since you've had human?"

"Only eight maybe twelve days," Spike answered with a shrug. "Not that big of deal. Pig's blood works."

"No, it doesn't, Spike! Sure it fills you up but it doesn't keep you nourished. What if you had been hurt worse? The pig's blood wouldn't do any good!" Xander ranted.

Spike tilted his head and looked at Xander. "If you can survive off of burgers and pizza I can survive off of pig's blood."

Xander's mouth fell open. "Y-you tricked me!" Spike raised an eyebrow and Xander sighed. "Fine. I'll start eating better. But I still get takeout three times a week."

"One," Spike countered.

"Two times a week and I get a junk food night," Xander re-countered.

Spike considered it. "Only if you start going for walks that doesn't include patrol."

"Okay, but you have to come with me on these walks," Xander replied.

"Deal," Spike pulled Xander so he toppled onto the couch and sealed it with a kiss.

The End