Title: Just What We Had
Author: IndigoNight
Summary: It wasn't until later that night as he watched Rorschach's worn Fedora disappear into the gloom that he realized he'd lied.
Feedback: Yes please, yay reviews!
Pairing: Rorschach/Dan
Disclaimer: I do not own Watchmen or the characters I'm just borrowing them for fun. Nor do I own the lyrics at the end; those are Nelly Furtado's.
Spoilers: Yup.
Warnings: Slash.
Author's Note: Sequel/Companion piece to my previous fic In God's Hands, though this can be read just fine on its own. One again inspired by the song In God's Hands by Nelly Furtado, a really beautiful song. Read, review,
Enjoy!
"Do you ever miss it?"
He paused, though he wasn't sure why. "Naw."
It wasn't until later that night as he watched Rorschach's worn Fedora disappear into the gloom that he realized he'd lied. And suddenly it was all he could do not to run after Rorschach, to brush the dust off of his wings, to float above the city with his former partner in their own little world once more. The desire formed an ache in his chest that he hadn't felt in eight years.
He didn't act on it though. He figured he'd ride it out, just like he had last time. Let it fade into the background to be forgotten like all the other memories he kept locked away in the corners of his mind. Some painful, and some simply tainted by an empty sense of loss, things he couldn't face.
As he'd told Rorschach, they were over.
*R*
But it didn't fade. Every day the ache grew stronger as more and more reminders of what had been poured into his life. Until finally, nearly a month later, his initial desires came true.
There they were; he and Rorschach, costumed just like old times. Archie soaring high, secluding them away from the world and its troubles; a secure moment of peace, brief though it may be.
Dan pretended to focus on the controls, even though Archie was on autopilot and didn't actually need him to do anything. He could feel Rorschach's presence just behind and to the right of him radiating heat like a nuclear reactor. He longed, like so many times before, to know what was going on behind that blotted mask.
Apparently, Rorschach had in fact been thinking along the same lines as he was. "Like old times," he grunted, abruptly breaking the silence.
As much as he'd ached for this, Dan didn't know what to say, so he simply nodded.
"Spent much time in ship." Was Dan imagining it or had Rorschach subtly bent down to murmur close to his ear? Had Rorschach meant to imply the memories that Dan's mind had automatically jumped to, the ones that didn't involve crime fighting?
He shuddered slightly at the thought and suddenly the leather of his costume felt far too tight and constricting. He turned to face Rorschach, unable to stand not being able to see him, to read his posture. Turned out Rorschach was closer than he'd thought; a lot closer.
He was practically looming over the younger man, masked face angled down toward him, his manner serious. "Missed it. Missed you."
If Dan hadn't already been sitting he might have fallen over, He'd thought that their little scene in the Owl Nest earlier had been pushing the limits of Rorschach's sentimentality. But this, he never would have thought possible. For several moments he simply stared in shock.
As the silence stretched he could see Rorschach visibly building up his emotional walls again. "I missed you too," he said quickly, hoping to curb the retreat.
Rorschach paused. It was now or never. Dan stood bringing them so close together that they were toe to toe, chests almost pressed against each other. Looking down at the smaller man he slowly lifted his hands, giving his ever skittish partner plenty of chance to pull away, and tilting Rorschach's chin up he folded the bottom of his latex mask up to reveal chapped lips.
God, he'd missed those lips. Leaning forward he gently captured them for the first time in seven years. They tasted of sugar and latex, just like they always had. But this time, they weren't enough. He broke off the kiss early, provoking a confused frown. Lifting his hands again, he gripped the bottom of the mask for a second time.
"Daniel?" Rorschach's voice was even huskier than usual, broken by a tremor his subconscious worked hard to conceal.
"No more hiding," Dan whispered, "Just this once, let me see." There was a soft pleading in his voice, and after a moment's hesitation slowly Rorschach nodded.
With gentle, reverent motions Dan removed the mask, letting it drop to the floor at their feet. For the first time soft brown eyes met piercing blue ones head on. The air around them practically crackled with tense uncertainty as for a single suspended moment of time they hesitated on the brink of a turning point.
Then for the second time that night Dan leaned forward and kissed Rorschach, lightly at first, but slowly deepening as their lips remembered the old familiar shape and pattern. For the first time Dan was able to run his fingers through coarse ginger hair, reveling in it. He kept his eyes open throughout the kiss, memorizing every nuance, every twitch of this new face.
Rorschach had always been slower to initiate contact, and that was no different now. It seemed like his skin was quivering very slightly, a lifetime of pent up emotions trying to break to the surface and overwhelm him. But Dan's gentle hands and lips kept him above the storm. Slowly he reached out and gripped the front of Dan's costume, pulling him closer, opening his mouth in welcome to him.
Everything had happened so fast lately, such monumental disruptions in his life that he felt lost amidst the frenzy. The Comedian, this plot, Moloch, his face revealed, prison. But now Daniel was here, Daniel was wearing his real face, holding and touching him again in ways that he'd only ever allowed Daniel to do. Archie rumbled around them and heat poured through his veins like liquid fire, making him truly warm for the first time in seven years, and for the moment all was right with the world.
He wasn't going to lose this again, he resolved, whatever happened in the Arctic, if they both came back alive, he'd never let Daniel go again, no matter what he had to do to accomplish that.
*R*
A crimson butterfly lay splattered on the snow.
A world was broken so that it could be fixed.
A hero was martyred for principals he couldn't let go.
A single man cried for what should have been.
Our loved floated out the window,
Our love floated out the back door,
Our love floated up in the sky to Heaven,
It's back in God's hands,
Back in God's hands.