Hermione's Fairytale

There once was a maiden
With skin so fair
Lips red as the rose
And bushy brown hair

Sat alone in a cottage
Waiting for her prince to come
She waited so long
That her butt had gone numb

"How long will this take?" Cried the maiden
Whose name is Hermione
"How long will it be?
For my Prince Charming to come find me!"

She cried every night
Tears streamed from her eye
And with her tears
Came the queen in disguise

She offered her an apple
And her words of bliss
But how could she eat
At a time like this

So the queen finally left
And the godmother did appear
Did her bibbety, bobbety boo crap
And a pumpkin coach came and a coachman to steer

"How am I supposed to go to a ball?"
Cried the maiden in spite
"My Prince Charming isn't here
And the ball was last night!"

So the Fairy Godmother
Feeling like a baboon
Retired shortly after
On a beach in Cancun

"This is taking forever!"
Cried Hermione in rage
So she opened her fairy tale book
And turned the next page

The next day a young lad
Who came with animals to wash her dishes,
Held out a lamp
And offered her three wishes

The genie appeared
She wished for brush
She wished for her Prince Charming
To come there in a rush

But the genie replied
Who sat on a stool,
"I can't make anyone fall in love,
It's against the rules."

So the boy and his genie
Left in a hurry
To avoid the bushy-haired maiden's
Outburst of fury

Hermione starred at the window
She might as well bake
So Hermione cooked up
A chocolate and pumpkin cake

Just then a light shone
In the middle of the clearing
Came a boy on his steed
Who just came from the Order of the Phoenix hearing

He rode his white horse
His red hair quite outstanding
When he got in the cottage
Hermione started demanding

"Now this is just foul,
This is just rude
All I had to do to get you to come
Was bake you some food?"

"Why yes," Replied the boy
Who was now stuffing his face
Stuffing so much
Why, this was no race!

He wiped his mouth
Threw his napkin on the floor
Picked up Hermione
And started out the door

Still confused, still upset
She hopped on his steed
"But wait!" Cried Hermione
Aren't you going to kiss me?

The boy turned bright red
He hadn't kissed in a while
He puckered up
And Hermione smiled

But oh dear! What happened?
What was wrong with that snog?
For the Prince had metamorphosed
Into a bright green frog

"This is just perfect!'
Cried sweet Hermione
"My husband to be,
Has a bright green behiney!"

"Oh well,"
She thought, "This will be easy"
Dumbledoor can poof him back
Into Ron Weasley

So off they rode
Witches and Wizards roared with laughter
But eventually Hermione and Ron
Lived happily ever after.