Slytherin is supposed to be for the cunning and ambitious. So why was it that no Slytherin plan ever seemed to succeed or included even a modicum of sense? The near black and white separation of good and evil in the books offended me, and got me thinking. This is the result. Will probably have three parts.
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"…Slytherin is the best house."
The blond had been extolling the virtues of Slytherin house for twenty minutes now and Harry had had more than enough. While he didn't agree with the beliefs some held about Slytherin being the house of evil, neither did he want to hear a twenty minute speech about how superior it was compared to others. It was the blond's misfortune that Harry had Marauder blood in him.
"Why is it the best house?"
The blond opened his mouth to answer, but Harry bulldozed on.
"You said Slytherin is for the cunning and ambitious. Which everyone else in the world interprets to mean that you desire power and will stop at nothing to get it. Which means everyone will be constantly on the lookout for underhanded plots from Slytherins, making it that much harder for any plan of yours to succeed. People will be wary of allying with you, as they will always be waiting for the double-cross. Having friends will be a pipe dream. In turn, this means what allies you do manage to get will be much more likely to betray you. After all, they're simply doing unto you what you will ultimately do to them."
"But-" the blond made to protest.
His efforts were once again ignored.
"People will be hesitant to place you in any positions of power, for fear that you would abuse your power to further your own, selfish goals. Even if you do achieve a position of power, people will not respect you as they will believe you only manage to attain your position through dishonest means. Furthermore, three of the four houses holds anti-Slytherin beliefs. Therefore simply being sorted into the Slytherin house alienates you from seventy-five percent of the population. Any potential support you may receive will come from the twenty-five percent which is least trusted and least likely to hold power."
By now, the blond's face was an unflattering shade of red as the insults being given to his favorite house and the lack of respect being given to him roused his anger.
Harry continued blithely.
"So in effect, being in Slytherin would prevent any of your cunning from being utilized and any of your ambition from being realized. How is Slytherin the best house then if simply being sorted into the house renders the very reasons of your sorting useless?"
The blond's mouth worked uselessly a few times as he struggled to come up with an appropriate answer.
Harry delivered his final words of wisdom, "Being sorted into Hufflepuff on the other hand…"
Then, with those parting words and a jaunty wave, Harry turned and left the shop, whistling tunelessly. Today was going to be a good day. He just knew it.
Please review! What did you guys think?
Next part should be posted next weekend.