Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own Merlin.

Note: So this is an Arthur/Merlin story. The headlines in the chapters are very important because it bounces back between the span of eleven years. Please read and review :D

Present Day-March 12th

The Final Encounter

"Are you sure you can do this?" Gwen's hand was on his arm, a light touch, but reassuring just brushing against his forearm in an innocent way. The rain was heavy and unpleasant. As soon as they slid out of the cab, the gushing water in the gutter soaked the hem of Arthur's pants straight through to his socks. It pounded relentlessly upon their umbrella.

"Yes." He swallowed thickly, not daring to look at her concern stare, or notice her fingers tighten as they took as step closer.

"Arthur, I mean what if this doesn't work out, what will you do?" Her voice was gentle as they approached the steps. She reached up to touch his cheek, and turn his face towards her.

He shook his head slightly, not enough to force her hand off, and bit back the urge to panic. After all, this was Gwen, and with Gwen he always had to be confident, strong,-he had to be a man. Of course his actions had been less than desirable due to recent events.

"It will."

He knew it took a lot for her to do this for him. Her smile though kind, probably had some lingering bitterness behind those pretty white teeth. Her thumb caressed his cheek in slow small circles; and when Arthur put his hand over hers he absentmindedly noticed how the diamond was not digging into his palm. Her hand felt different vacant- under his without the ring scraping against his flesh.

If you asked anyone why it was gone, what had happened, they would say it was no one's fault. They would put on a solemn face, and lie through their tight-lipped frowns about how it had been mutual, and that they were both still very good friends.

As soon as Arthur was out of ear-shot, that he had fucked up.

"I'm sorry Guinevere." He added, and closed the umbrella when they entered the building.

She kissed him then. Her lips were smooth, and soft against his. A peck, a sweet kiss just at the corner of his mouth, it held no romance, no passion, and stirred no feeling in Arthur.

"It's okay," she spoke as they walked towards the elevator, and pressed the button for the fifth floor. Arthur was antsy, shifted in his stance, wringed his hands-damp with sweat, and let the umbrella soak his left side as it hung against his leg.

Then the words he had been holding back, the panic that had been setting in, was chocking him. The lump in his throat was growing, swelling, suffocating, and the words spewed out of his mouth like vomit.

"What if he isn't okay? I mean sure, the ER released him and everything, but what if what Gaius said isn't true, and he never recovered properly?" His tone was steady; the same as if he was discussing the weather or today's news; there was no urgency or insecurity, just confident Arthur.

Gwen took his hand in hers again, "He'll be okay." She was the one that was unsteady, in fact her breath was shaky in itself, and it was her holding-back-tears voice, because Gwen hardly ever cried. Well, Arthur couldn't say that, because he saw her cry nine days ago, saw her cry and repeat 'I knew it I knew it I knew it all along' over and over again.

"You can't choose who you love Arthur." She was still smiling, but this time sadly, as if it was her duty too. "I always had an idea, you know, that you two were closer than normal."

The words sounded oddly familiar, words from the past that had been buried in his mind, but he ignored it when the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.

He bobbed his head in what could be a nod, and he followed Gwen along the hallway. "I should go alone."

"No, no, he won't let you in. He'll let me in, maybe, but not you." Then she bit her lip, and in a softer apologetic voice continued, "Sorry, I'm sure it will be fine." Her hands clapped together, and she beamed up at him in reassurance.

God, this would have been so much easier if the past months never happened. Gwen was such a good girl-such a beautiful good girl, and now that was ruined. Now he couldn't even look at her with romantic feelings, she might as well just be another acquaintance.

Gwen knocked on his door. Arthur briefly wondered how long Merlin had been living here (in some part of his mind he could calculate it, but that would only make himself feel even worse) but this place was a dump. The walls in the hall way were rotten and there were various holes in both it, and the carpet. Even Merlin's door, the gold numbers were hanging to the side, and the teal paint was chipped.

The said door swung open. And there was Merlin with his sweats hanging loosely off his hips, shirt ending centimeters above his navel, and hair that looked to have been caught in a nasty fight with a hair brush.

"'Lo?"

He wasn't smiling, which was never a good sign, he wasn't even wearing his I-hate-the-world-at-this-early-hour scowl, but the way his eyes were half-lidded told Arthur that it wasn't because he had registered who they were yet. Well, who Gwen was. Arthur was hiding to the side, just out of sight.

Merlin started to take a step out, but Gwen threw her arms around him, that served mainly for a distraction. Arthur didn't see Merlin stiffen, but he could hear him whisper, "Oh Christ." Then he peeked around the corner to see Merlin loosen and return the hug.

"Gwen…what are you doing here? I thought you would never want to see me again." His eyes were closed now, and he let out a relieved sigh. Obviously this had been on his mind. His body relaxed into Gwen's.

She sighed too, and let her fingers weave through his mussed hair. "Oh Merlin. No matter what happens, you'll always be my best friend. I'm just surprised that you stayed by my side so long."

Arthur took this wonderful, bonding moment, to sneak into the room, and close the door softly behind him. Merlin pulled back, his eyes focused on Gwen's face and completely oblivious to Arthur observing the two. Arthur would have remarked about the idiotic trait, but with the current situation he doubted that would be appropriate.

Merlin laughed, "I could never leave you, I mean, you're my friend too, Gwen. I'm sorry I haven't been it's just you know. Did Gaius tell you where I was?" He raised his eyes up in his bumbling. Gwen shook her head, but it was too late, he already caught sight of Arthur. At first there was no reaction, he just stared, mouth agape, and completely shell-shocked. Then he backed up, out of Gwen's arms, and had to grab the couch for support.

The moment of silence was awful. It was more gut-wrenching, more frightening, than anything else he had experienced before. Merlin's face fell, his jaw set still, and his lips formed into a flat line.

In a low, calmer than he usually used voice, he growled, "Get out."

Arthur detached himself from the wall to approach cautiously, and crossed the carpet slowly. Maybe it was the scanty space or Merlin's quivering skinny body, but Arthur felt giant. Not in the commanding, secure way, but like he was too much, as if he had too much being, and Merlin's eyes were drilling into him as so.

"Get the fuck out." Merlin's panic was showing as his self-control on his language gave out, "How did you even fucking find me? Who else did you bring with you?" His tone ended in a higher sound, the fear apparent, and Arthur could tell he was losing it.

Then his eyes flickered to golden, and the room started to shake ferociously. The meager television set began to project strange colors and blare static. A crash came from the room that lay past the front, and objects on the sleeves began to shift towards the edge.

"No one's with me!" Arthur tried to steady himself using the back of the couch. He was whispering now as he touched Merlin just above his elbow, "It's just me."

It triggered the recognition, and Merlin's eyes flickered back to sapphire. He wiggled away from Arthur's hand on his arm, as if the touch physically wounded him.

"Why," He coughed as the pitch came out too high and cracked, "Are you here Arthur?"

Arthur had to drag his gaze away from the spot his hand had once been to meet his stare. He cleared his throat, "We need to talk." The line felt too…cliché. Arthur regretted it the minute it came out of his mouth.

"No." Merlin backed up with clumsy stumbles, his ankles clashing with his bare heels.

Arthur moved closer, he held his hands up in the air, palms exposed; to display nothing was hidden from him. That was ironic really, he was trying not to hide thing from him now.

"If this is about-"Merlin started dangerously.

"It's not." Arthur quickly answered before he could get any ideas in his head. But it was though Merlin had not heard a word he said. Merlin curled his arms around himself; his eyes were wide, terrified, but not particularly looking at anything. Goosebumps spread up his skin like wildfire.

"I'm not going to-"

"I know," Arthur's patience was wearing thin, as it always did with Merlin, and he had to keep repeating to himself that the last thing he wanted to happen was to lose it. He didn't want to screw up again…again. Merlin was a good person, but not enough to give Arthur another shot. Arthur didn't even know if he was getting this one. "I'm not here to ask you that."

The conversation became more telepathic than verbal. Gwen interjected before it deepened and she completely couldn't comprehend what on earth they were saying.

"I'm going to leave," then her voice was quavering again, "I really only came here to make sure that you didn't slam the door in his face, and," Her smile was sweet again, when she caught Merlin's stare, "I wanted to see you Merlin, and apologize. If I knew-knew how much I've hurt you, then I wouldn't," and then her breath caught in her throat, and she hiccupped to hold back tears, "I wouldn't have done what I did. I'm sorry."

"Gwen." The both said unanimously, and moved to stop her, but she was already up next to Merlin.

She cupped her hand over her mouth to conceal whatever she was saying, and prevented Arthur from reading her lips. Whatever it was, it caused a sad small smile to appear on Merlin's face.

She was already at the door before he could ask.

The silence was more painful than the loudest shrieking. Arthur knew Gwen couldn't stay. It would be improper, but still when she was there it was as if his courage tripled. She, somehow, acquired this warm aura of protection.

"Can you leave?" His tone was softer, "You know why you can't Arthur, and I don't want…" It was one of the few times that Merlin had ordered or even asked him for something. The unspoken words were harsher than the ones he said. The blatant undertone that finished the sentence, I don't want you here.

He was standing in the direct center of the room. The left side of his pants was completely soaked, and the umbrella opened against his leg, it was then that he noticed that he had tracked in a layer of street muck from his shoes.

"I'm not going to." Arthur took a breath, and the authority in his voice was cool, calm, and unmistakable.

He had seen Merlin angry only a few times. It was always at injustices or when his loved ones were hurt, it would cause his body to tremble and tighten, a volcano rumbling and shaking before it –he- exploded. The anger this time was not steaming fresh lava that acted rashly, and annihilated everything in its path. But instead, stale, tired, even more so, exasperated.

"It's been days, shouldn't we?"

He was stumbling forwards now, closer to Arthur, his hand running along the back of the sofa in support.

"No, Arthur it's been a year." Arthur visibly cringed, and blazing fires in his eyes didn't help. The expression melted, "And there were reasons, why I haven't…since the hospital…" He scratched the back of his head, and a fake nervous smile plastered onto his face.

Then, Arthur's fingers were traveling against the edge when he moved closer, and with unintended venom he spoke, "Let me guess it wasn't the best time. You ran away Merlin! Twice! Like a coward."

And there it was. Merlin went stiff, his hands clenched, limbs twitched, and teeth grinded back and forth. The anger was bubbling up.

"That was not the reason." Then in harsh defined words he gritted out, "Don't you dare talk to me about time and cowardice, Arthur Pendragon."

His retort vanished; it snapped back into his vocal chords like he had been punched in the teeth.

Merlin continued, "I was doing fi-"the word disappeared on his tongue, "I was surviving. Which was pretty hard to do after what you, what you…Do you have any idea how people looked at me? I was going to do it; I was going to do it my way! Do you know what they did to me? Fuck, how did you find me? Why are you here?"

Now they were only so far apart that Arthur could smell the faintest whiff of tide laundry soap, and shampoo. The light placed on the kitchen table behind them flickered when thunder rattled the apartment, and the white glare of lightening filled the room before fading in the next instant.

The lump in his throat had swelled again, and the words were bursting from his lips.

"It's a long story. It's, I'll explain. And I admit, what happened was not one of my better plans. But, I didn't intend. Bloody hell, Merlin! There was nothing else I could do! It was just, that night at the hospital I just realized that-"

"Get out." Merlin murmured weakly.

"No."

"Get out Arthur!" Then he was pointing at the door, cursing.

"I'm not leaving." He grabbed Merlin's shoulder, and traveled to the back of his neck.

Merlin slapped him across the face.

Open-palmed, with a trembling hand, that left a pink mark across Arthur's cheek. It didn't hurt-Arthur had been in more pain than that, but he still backed up a little in shock more than anything else. Merlin did too, and was staring at his hand like he had strangled someone with it.

He was never of violent sorts. His entire body was shaking now, quivering from his shoulders to his buckling knees.

"Please, Arthur, just leave, you shouldn't be here. Just leave. I'll call the cops or something."

Arthur in spite of all that was happening almost grinned at the ridiculousness of this suggestion. "C'mon Merlin, who do you think they will believe?"

The look on Merlin's face told Arthur that he did not find that amusing in the slightest. In fact, he didn't even seem to interpret it as a joke. So he promptly replied, "Get out of my house you bastard."

"Merlin, I'm not-"

"I don't want you here! I don't want to see you Arthur!" He yelled right back, and his body shuddered as it tried to repress the magic outburst, triggered by his emotions.

"Shut up, and listen to me Merlin!"

"No!"

Arthur wasn't thinking clearly. The anger and frustration running through his veins, and Arthur…Arthur was scared. Merlin could easily make him leave, easily, not legally and certainly not something Merlin would be likely to resort to. But he wouldn't shut up, wouldn't stop telling Arthur to leave him alone, wouldn't stop arguing in that voice filled with despise. Just the sight of Merlin pulled him in so many directions that he felt ill. There was rage mostly, frustration, lust, and annoyance that rumbled inside of him, and chocked whatever air he could breathe.

So Arthur hit him. Not one of his better decisions.

Merlin crumpled to an unconscious lump on the ground. He had fallen sideways, and knocked his head again on the sofa.

Great.

He was still softly breathing, perhaps the only good sign of this situation. Arthur came here to fix everything. This wasn't exactly the start he had been aiming for.

He stared down at Merlin's body, and then pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a sigh.

"Shit."

Arthur Pendragon wasn't going to mess this up.

He wasn't going to let Merlin go.

Not this time.

Please review and let me know what you think! It would also help out for my first serious Merlin fic….