The One With the Ouija Board

Summary: During TOW Phoebe's Ex-Partner (Season 3), Phoebe and Monica play with an Ouija board – and get some surprising answers.

A/N: Remember that scene where Leslie calls Phoebe for the twentieth time and Joey confesses about throwing Ginger's wooden leg in the fire? Phoebe and Monica had been using an Ouija board. This is my theory of how the game had been going about a half hour before the scene.

"I can't believe you talked me into this," Monica gazed apprehensively at the Ouija Board, which rested in front of her on her kitchen table. "I mean, it's a plastic game piece and a square of cardboard. There's no way that thing can 'channel spirits.'"

Phoebe shook her head. "Sheesh, what is with you Gellers and narrow-mindedness? Don't you think there's a teeny possibility that it could work?"

"Ok, first of all, I am no where near as narrow-minded as my brother," Monica protested, insulted. "And secondly, I think that our time would be better spent trying to get Joey to tell us what happened with that girl Ginger."

"Come on, Mon! We can grill Joey later! I've been dying to play with this thing since I found it at the bottom of my closet!" At her friend's reluctant face, she pleaded, "Please! Even if you don't believe it, it could still be fun!"

Monica's sigh was one of surrender. "Fine. But you ask the first question."

"Yea!" Phoebe squealed. She paused, contemplating what to say. "Alright, I got it." She cleared her throat, placed her hands on top of the pointer, and tried to make her voice low and spooky. "What color underwear is Chandler wearing today?"

"Phoebe!" Monica chided.

The blonde broke her concentration a minute to explain, "I'm sorry, but his pants were unusually tight and I couldn't help but wonder!" Monica simply smiled, and Phoebe returned to the board. "Look, it's moving!"

Monica raised an eyebrow as Phoebe's hands, and the pointer, glided across the board, picking out the letters P-I-N-K. She laughed after Phoebe removed her hands. "Please, you were pushing it! Chandler is definitely not wearing pink boxers."

Phoebe only smirked. "How do you know that?"

Monica's cheeks turned red. "I-I don't. It's just that, well, I know Chandler would never…You know what, it's my turn." Feeling slightly foolish, she copied Phoebe's previous movements, but maintained her normal tone. "Um…What happened between Joey and Ginger?"

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "Is that all you can come up with?"

"What? I'm a little curious." Monica fell silent, her attention focusing on the board. She groaned when she spelled out A-S-K-H-I-M. Frustrated, she yelled at the board, "'Ask him'? I could have done that myself, you second-rate fortune teller!"

Phoebe giggled. "I guess it doesn't like non-believers, Mon!" Another question popping into her head, she eagerly grabbed the pointer. "Oh, I have one!" Her voice normal this time, she asked, "Will Ross and Rachel ever get married?"

Monica nodded in approval. "Good question."

Closing her eyes, Phoebe looked at the pointer. It had guided her hands to the circle which contained the word 'MAYBE.' "How surprising," she muttered sarcastically.

Monica laughed, "Although you have to admit that it does summarize their whole relationship." Creating a way to get a more definite answer, she took the pointer and inquired, "Will Ross and Rachel ever have a kid together?" Both were surprised when it practically dragged Monica's hands to the word "YES."

"That's interesting," Phoebe commented, "How come it wasn't sure if they would get married, but it's certain that they're going to have a kid?"

"We'll find out eventually, I guess," Monica answered, also a tad disturbed.

A tense silence came over the two, so Phoebe slid the pointer to her side of the board and blurted, "Will Monica and Chandler get married?"

Monica gasped, stunned at the suggestion, but it was unheard due to the sound of Phoebe's beeper. She quickly glanced to Phoebe's bag as its owner took out the offending gadget and angrily stopped the noise, knowing it was Leslie. Something caught Monica's eye when she turned to the board, and she shrieked, "Oh my God, Phoebe!"

"What?" Phoebe looked up from her bag to where Monica was frantically pointing. The sole game piece was moving of its own accord, like it was being pushed by invisible hands. "Wow, we did it! We contacted a spirit! Cool!"

Monica leaped from her chair, but couldn't help saying the letters aloud as they were singled out. "'Y-E-S-A-F-T-E-R-L-O-N-D-O-N' What the Hell is that supposed to mean?"

Phoebe thought a moment. "Are you and Chandler planning to go to England any time soon?"

Still scared, Monica tried to calm down. "U-um, not that I know of…you?" Phoebe shook her head, and the two sat back down in their chairs, thinking.

After a few minutes, Phoebe joked, "Well, congratulations on marrying Chandler. Despite most of his personality, I would consider him a catch."

Monica laughed uneasily, not willing to believe that her fate had been spelled out for her on an Ouija Board. "Very funny. Me and Chandler…that's hilarious."

Phoebe breathed an exasperated sigh. "Mon! The pointer moved by itself! That's probably the biggest sign you can get!"

"Come on, Pheebs! This is Chandler we're talking about! We're best friends! Nothing could ever happen between us!" Monica objected.

"Look at Ross and Rachel! They were best friends first!" Phoebe countered.

"Yeah, but I'm not in…" Monica stopped, then argued forcefully, "It's not like that."

"If you say so," Phoebe rolled her eyes.

"Besides, it's a stupid game anyway. What does it know?" Monica folded her arms stubbornly.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Phoebe and Monica jumped slightly, then glanced at one another. "We're being silly – I'll get it," Monica huffed, then got up to answer it. She tried to keep the astonishment off her face when she saw Chandler standing in the doorway.

Chandler subconsciously leaned on the door frame, bewildered by her ill-concealed reaction. "Yeah, I never knock, but since when do you lock your door?"

Monica grinned sheepishly. She had made Phoebe lock the door, for fear someone would walk in on them playing a kids' game. "Oh, uh…there's been a lot or robberies in the neighborhood, and, well, better safe than sorry…"

"Uh huh…" Chandler walked in, now thoroughly confused. Monica mouthed thank-you to Phoebe, who had thrown the Ouija Board under the table. "So, Chandler, what's up?"

Chandler looked around, unsure of what to make of Monica's behavior. "Um…what were you guys doing?"

"Nothing!" Monica answered, a little to quickly.

"Right…" Chandler paused, then decided that he didn't want to know. "Have you guys seen Joey?"

Phoebe got an idea. "No, but, uh…what color underwear do you have on?" She paid no attention to Monica's outraged face.

Chandler stood there, temporarily stunned. "W-What? Why?"

Phoebe innocently shrugged her shoulders. "Just curious."

Chandler shifted his stance awkwardly. "Well, you see, I had this really great pair of very manly red boxers…most comfortable ones I had…unfortunately color fades after a few washes, so, now, um, they're a deep shade of…pink."

Monica and Phoebe only stared at him in shock, their mouths hanging open.