Okay, my first story posted on this site. I had to take a break from my historical fiction to watch the S7 premiere of Castle, and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to consider the first two episodes of the season as we follow Castle's disappearance and return. Probably going to be about four chapters.

Disclaimer: The usual that you find on this site: the characters don't belong to me. But actually I'm okay with that because the responsibility of owning them is far too great for me. Happy to borrow them for a while though.

Chapter 1

It took him a while to find her. When LT had called him from the precinct he hadn't believed what he was hearing, couldn't understand why they would try and push her like, must have known it would force her to the point of breaking. Their team was already on edge, the tension between the three of them growing more strained with every day that Castle was missing; no matter what people on the outside thought Castle was an integral part of their team and they would search for him and for answers until he was back at the precinct. He personally believed that Javi was being a jerk over the whole thing, couldn't see how he could be so quick to believe that Castle had run from the wedding willingly. He could also see that Javi's skepticism was weighing heavily with Beckett and contributing to the stress she was under. The fact that she should now be almost back from her honeymoon, not searching for her missing groom, had to be a harsh reality to live with every day. But that wasn't Castle, his devotion to Beckett was obvious to them all long before the two of them were a couple; she was right, the evidence was a false trail to confuse them. Whatever this absence was it had to have answers that didn't lead them to the conclusion Castle was complicit in his own disappearance.

He found her on the roof terrace curled up tightly in a blanket and staring up at the stars. There was an air of isolation and melancholy about her. She took a while to acknowledge his presence; refused to even look because he wasn't the one she wanted to see. Eventually he had to break the silence.

"Kate." He sounded nervous. "Took me a while to find you. You okay?" The small indrawn breath was an indicator that he knew it was a stupid question, but nothing was as it should be at the moment and she couldn't fault him for trying to get through to her.

"You heard?" Her voice was small, detached, and still she refused to look at him. "Who called you?"

He shuffled a bit closer to her, trying to see her face, wanting the connection with her because this was going to be tough. "LT. He tried Javi first but couldn't get an answer, so he called me."

She shifted restlessly on the ground still staring unblinkingly at the stars. "How bad is it? Enough for Gates to take me off his case? Could I get suspended again?"

He moved at that, standing over her so she had to look at him. "I asked him not to call Gates, told him I'd take care of it. He's talking to the janitor for me at the moment, getting his side of the story." He took a breath and crouched down in front of her. "What were you thinking Kate? Why'd you do it?"

She looked directly at him for the first time since he'd arrived. "Kate? You never call me Kate; I'm always Beckett." The smile barely lifted the corners of her mouth.

"Yeah well, desperate times and all that." His grin was wry, his eyes as weary as hers. "Figured using your name might shock you into actually answering me." There were signs that he might be right as he watched her consider how to explain the earlier events in the precinct.

"It happened so quickly, didn't even realize what I was doing until LT shouted at me to put the gun down." She had her face buried in her lap, sounded so quiet he struggled to hear her. "I caught the night janitor trying to move his chair; somebody told the janitor to take his chair away, his chair Kev. Why would they do that?" She paused to take a breath, tried for a steadying break before continuing. "He's coming back; he's coming back and they should know that."

They both startled as Ryan's phone rang, sounding ridiculously loud in the stretching silence between them. He turned away from her and mumbled a few replies before switching it off and turning to face her again.

"Yeah look Kate. That was LT, he spoke to the guy and it was just a misunderstanding. Nobody told him to take the chair away and that wasn't what he was doing, he just noticed that the area around your desk hadn't been cleaned in a while and he wanted to do something to help. Castle's always been nice to him. You know how he is. Taken an interest in his story, acknowledged him, and he appreciates it."

The crease between her eyes deepened and she slumped forward, her head in her hands. "Oh God, Kev, and I almost shot him. Thank God LT happened to be getting some coffee or I might not have stopped."

"Yeah well they're both freaked out but I'm pretty sure you could get away with an apology for now; he seemed pretty forgiving of the whole thing according to LT. They've both agreed not to say anything so you don't need to worry about Gates." He hesitated and then plowed on with "It was no coincidence that LT was there. You might not have noticed but he makes a point of coming by our floor fairly frequently to keep an eye on you. He isn't the only one."

She took a moment to reflect on recent events. To be honest the whole thing had unsettled her, made her reconsider how well she was dealing with Rick's disappearance. She thought she was coping reasonably well, hanging on to her sanity better than she ever thought was possible a few weeks ago as she'd gazed on the burning car in disbelief and horror. But this, tonight, the chair incident had proven how far from well-balanced she was and maybe the right thing to do would be to let Gates know what had happened and accept the consequences. There was no way she wouldn't keep looking for him anyway with or without her badge; she'd told Special Agent Connors that right at the beginning, the less-than-useless FBI liaison that had been sent to "help", and she meant every word of it. She would never stop looking, would work solely on her own murder board at the apartment like she did with her mother's murder.

Ryan moved towards the stairs and gestured for her to follow him down in to the apartment. She took a deep breath and got up, wrapping the blanket more snugly around her shoulders before locking the door behind her. Walking down the stairs she found him leaning against the kitchen counter, arms folded across his chest as his eyes followed her down the stairs. As she turned to face him he finally said what he'd wanted to say to her before.

"You didn't ask me how I got in to this apartment earlier. Aren't you curious how I found you? How I got in?" He gave her a chance to respond but she didn't offer any reply except to stare at him defiantly. "Okay then. Well I rushed to the loft when I got the call from LT, only when Martha opened the door she seemed surprised that I thought I would find you there." He paused again and watched her eyes shift evasively around the room while she shuffled from one foot to the other. "Seems you haven't been spending much time at the loft since Castle disappeared and she looked as tired and defeated as you Beckett."

At that her head shot up and she rushed to speak. "How can I stay there Kev, how can I look at her and Alexis each day and have to tell them that we still have no idea where he is or what's happened to him? I can barely force myself to believe that we have nothing each day, I can't do it to them as well." Her breathing was ragged as she paused and sucked in a breath.

He forced a smile and made a point of making sure she looked him in the eye for the next part. "Martha is well aware of what's happening in the investigation and of how tirelessly you're working to bring her son home again, Kate. Nobody doubts you. Everybody knows how hard you push yourself and we all strive to follow you. What she wanted me to make clear to you was that both she and Alexis want you home at the loft. Both of them. That was emphasized. Her words were that you need to go home at the end of the day, Kate. Home, to the loft. Not to this apartment that used to be yours. Home to the family, and she said to remind you that they've been your family for a while now and a marriage certificate doesn't make them any more your family than they already are." Still he pushed on. "Don't fight this on your own, not when you don't have to."

By now it was clear that she was failing to stop the tears, but he refused to feel guilty about making her cry. They were all feeling the loss of Castle and he couldn't help but feel that Martha was correct in emphasizing how important family was. They all needed their families now, more than ever. He was desperate to get home to Jenny and Sarah Grace but needed to know that Beckett had really heard him before he left.

Finally she wiped the tears and nodded, to herself or him it wasn't clear, but she stood straighter and seemed to gather herself. "Okay, thanks. For everything. Probably for saving my job actually. And I promise I'll go to the loft and see Martha, but I can't stay there, not yet. Maybe when I've got myself together, thought about how I can explain to them that we're getting nowhere fast. Three weeks and we have nothing. They might not blame me, but I blame myself for missing whatever was going on before the wedding, and for not being able to find any leads now. That money dump makes no sense, none of this does. But I promise I will go and talk to them and maybe spend what's left of tonight there."

"Okay. Good enough I suppose. I'm going to go home and see my own family. I'll see you at work later and suggest we don't mention recent events to Javi, but I'm happy to call Lanie though if you want; maybe it would be easier to see her?"

"No, it's okay. Lanie might be tougher to talk to actually. I'm going to close up here and head to the loft before you threaten to take me there in cuffs or something." This time a small grin did make an appearance. "Go home and see your own family; tell Jenny I'm so sorry for keeping you from them. I'll see you later."

As he arrived home his phone vibrated, alerting him to a text from Martha: Katherine just arrived looking as tired and defeated as we feel. Thank you for getting her to come home. Breathing a sigh of relief at having discharged that responsibility he dialed LT and asked him to put the night janitor on the phone so he could have a quick word with him. He wasn't going to mince his words, was passed being subtle or diplomatic as this point.

"Yeah this is Ryan. Just letting you know to pass on the message that if anybody else touches Castle's chair it will be me with the gun. And I won't miss."

So that's it for now. As I said, aiming for four chapters but that depends on what the first two or three episodes bring us. Can't wait to see what happens though :)