I THINK I REALLY LIKE YOU
The first time I saw her was in a coffee shop. She was wearing a hijab making her more standout than others. Her pants fit perfectly on her shapely legs. She was in deep concentration, I could tell, as she was reading something on her book. Across the table was a DSLR camera and some notes.
Her eyes were solely focused on what she was reading in front of her and I am more than happy to check her out without thinking that she would notice me and think that I'm a creep. Damn. This girl. What is her name?
For 15 minutes, my attention was just focused on her. I actually think that I memorized every knitting of her eyebrows whenever she turned the page of her book. Her lips were her best assets. I like looking at her lips. Talking about how creepy am I being right now, right? But she was just so sexy. I just can't help myself.
When I finally stood up to leave the coffee shop, she lifted her eyes and I caught her gaze for a few seconds. And then I realized that she was just staring at the person behind me. It was her friend.
The second time I saw her was in the same coffee shop. The book was gone, her camera was still there though but her attention seems to be on her phone. Again, she didn't seem to notice me. So I continued my intense gaze on her. I tried to be subtle while I sip my latte. My eyes were on those sexy pants she is wearing. Seriously, this woman's pants should be illegal. It was just so damn sexy on her. And when I realized I was staring too long on her legs, I immediately looked away.
After a few seconds, I subtly look at her again and my breath was caught in my throat when her eyes met mine. I was mesmerized. Time seem to stop. She was staring at me like I was staring at her. I swallowed nervously. And when I couldn't hold the stare for any much longer, I looked away and let my attention go straight to my phone. I'm pretty sure my cheeks are red from embarrassment.
I was catching my breath so I stopped running. "Wait!" I breathed.
My friends, Sutton and Jane laughed as they jogged back towards me. Seriously? Why do they have so much energy? I'm so out of my game lately.
"Still can't keep up huh?" Sutton teased.
I glared at her. "I'm just distracted."
"We could tell." Jane said. "You're thinking about your crush again. Your girl crush." She emphasized.
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not thinking about her." I lied. "I'm hetero and she's probably same as me. I just admire her. Admiration and crush is a total different thing." I explained.
"Hetero, huh?" Sutton chuckled. "You told me that you stared at each other for more than a few seconds right? In the book of lesbianism, that is kinda considered not straight, Kat." She laughed once again. "Your gaydar sucks."
"What do you know?" I furrowed my eyebrows.
Sutton grinned. "I have my fair share of girls in college. It was a phase but it was an experience I wouldn't forget."
Jane looked at her. "I didn't know that."
"It was a phase. College girls experiment." Sutton replied.
"I need a more detailed explanation…"
"GUYS!" I interrupted them with a sigh. "This is serious. This is about me. I kinda get the whole girl thing too. I just can't imagine myself being intimate with a girl. And for me, this is different. I just can't get the vibe." I breathed. "She is difficult to read."
Jane rolled her eyes at me. "It's because you haven't spoken to her. Yet."
"Are you a coward, Kat Edison?" Sutton smirked at me. "The badass social media director is a coward when it comes to pretty girls?"
I sighed and rolled my eyes. Then I jogged away from them.
My friends jogged their way beside me. "Okay. Just continue your creepy staring then." They laughed as they jogged past me.
We spent the next hour over pancakes analyzing my coffee shop crush' sexuality.
The third time I saw her was very convenient for me. We were in the line together waiting for the barista to get our order. Again with that hijab that covered her hair but conveniently uncovered her neck. My eyes were glued on her sexy and smooth neck. Oh god, it was very tempting. I think I'm not totally being legit hetero right now, am I? She smells absolutely amazing too. What is this woman's perfume?
Fortunately for me, she didn't notice me staring at her again. She probably doesn't remember me anyway.
And when she told the barista her name, I smiled.
Adena. That's her name. Nice. I finally have a name to associate with her gorgeous face.
When I got my order, I went to my usual spot and tried to stalk her name on instagram. I'll be lucky if I find her.
She was on her usual spot too. On instinct, I looked at her and I felt flushed when I caught her staring at me while drinking her coffee. The corners of her mouth turned upwards. She just acknowledged me and I might have died on the spot if it wasn't for the person who taps on my shoulder.
"Hey Kat. Sorry I'm late."
My full attention went on my friend, I was clearly irritated that she just disturbed my moment with my hottie crush. I was about to say something snarky when she spoke.
"Hey Adena. You're here! It had been so long since I saw you. How are you?" Sutton said as she was on her way to my crush.
My eyes went wide. They knew each other!
"Hey. I'm good. How are you?" Adena spoke. Her voice was music in my ears. Damn. What a sultry voice and accent.
They were having their little conversation when Sutton probably realized that it was rude to not introduce me.
"Kat, come here." Sutton said.
I lifted my cup and went to their table. I was trying so hard to not be obvious in front of them both.
"Hi." I greeted. My eyes darted towards her.
She smiled at me, looked me up and down and then smirked. "Hi. I'm Adena El-Amin." She offered her hand and immediately I took it.
My eyes were smiling. "I'm Kat Edison."
"It's nice to meet you. Finally." She said with a smirk.
My cheeks were red and when I looked at my friend, her eyes showed recognition. Damn it. I tried to warn her with my eyes.
"She just got out of a toxic relationship." Sutton said as soon as we stepped out of the coffee shop.
The three of us had little conversation earlier but mostly I just listened to them catching up. I tried to not stare at her for too long so I just busied myself looking at my phone.
"Oh." I said nonchalantly as we walked.
"She's 100% into girls. If that's what you want to ask." She said, her tone teasing.
"Okay." I said, pretending that I wasn't interested.
Sutton laughed. "You're really gonna pretend that you're not interested in what I was saying, huh?"
I rolled my eyes at her.
"How do you know her?" I asked.
"She was one of the photographers for the fashion photoshoot I attended three years ago. She was amazing. Her ex girlfriend was one of the models at that time, I think."
"Oh. Model." I reacted. "Wow."
My friend smirked. "Yup. Anyway, so… She is coffee girl crush huh? You are so out of your game earlier, Kat." She laughed.
I rolled my eyes. "She's just so… intimidating."
Sutton sighed. "Oh yeah. She is. She loves making people uncomfortable."
"Yeah. She's very good at it." I replied with a nod.
"But that won't stop you." Sutton smiled at me.
"I don't know. It's just a crush."
"Okay. Whatever helps you sleep at night, Kat." She laughed. "Do you want her number?"
"Shut up."
It had been a week since I last saw her. But I was able to stalk at her social media for quite some time now. I had mustered my courage to follow her and then to my surprised, she accepted it and followed me too.
"Hey. Is this seat taken?"
Recognizing her voice, my heart beats triple fast as I lifted my gaze. Damn! That accent! "Hey. Sure. Sure."
She smiled at me and took the sit in front of me. She placed her coffee, book and camera on the table.
It felt awkward. I couldn't even open a conversation without making a fool of myself.
"So, how long have you been friends with Sutton?" She started and I actually breathed out. I'm a complete mess in front of her. It was embarrassing.
"A long time. We worked together. How about you?"
She smiled, "Three years ago. I didn't see you on the last photoshoot I had with her."
"Oh. I was on a different department."
She nodded and looked at me. Her eyes made me uncomfortable. She is really good at it.
"Uhm, I followed you on instagram." I blurted out.
She chuckled. "Yeah. I believe I followed you too."
I scratched the back of my neck. "Yeah." I chuckled nervously. "You were probably wondering whose this girl who followed you on social media."
She chuckled. "At first yes, you have a different name so I looked at your picture and I told to myself 'she's kinda cute' so I accepted it and followed you too."
She called me cute. She called me cute! Oh my god. I was screaming internally.
"You're cute too." I replied and when I realized what came out of my mouth, I blushed.
She chuckled. "Thank you."
And then we stared at each other's eyes again. I was lost. It was her turn to look away.
After the awkwardness between us fades, I had a decent conversation with her without me making a fool of myself. Thank god!
We became coffee shop friends for quite sometime before we exchanged numbers with each other. I just can't make the first move. She was the one who asked for my number first.
She told me about her exes and how the recent one hurt her the most. We became friends. My crush on her faded but was replaced by something deeper, even though I already knew she wasn't ready. And that sucks.
Sutton knew my feelings for her go deeper. She wanted to help me forget so she set me up with another girl at work. Natalie was her name. Just so I could explore my new sexuality, she said.
Adena invited me to go hang out with her but this time, I refused. I told her that I have a date and her reply was a short 'Have fun'. She didn't text me afterwards.
"How was your date?" We were walking at the sidewalk when she opened up about my date. At the coffee shop earlier, she didn't even bother to ask me about it.
"It wasn't good. We have nothing in common actually." I replied.
"Hmmm…" She mumbled. "I thought it was good. Sutton was talking about your date a lot. She was telling me how this girl has a big crush on you at work."
"Oh yeah?" I laughed a little. "I'm just not into her, I think."
She stopped.
And then I stopped.
She turned towards me. "So, is there someone you're into with?" She asked, her voice sultry making her accent thick.
I swallowed hard as we stared at each other's eyes.
I was speechless as we caught each other's gaze.
She gave me that sexy smirk again as she slowly walk into my personal space.
My heart beats tripled fast.
My eyes drifted on her lips.
Time seems to stop.
"You're not really going to make the first move, are you?" She said as she started to lean towards me.
"Wha-"
And then her lips were pressed against mine. Butterflies erupted inside my stomach.
She pulled away a little. Her eyes met mine once again. I smiled. "Oh my god." I blurted out then I felt embarrassed. "Sorry, you just completely throws me off my game."
She chuckled lightly. "You are something, Kat Edison."
Lifting my hand, I caressed her cheek. She leaned towards it and smiled at me. "I was waiting for you to be ready."
"I am." She replied softly. "I was waiting for you to make the first move."
I smiled.
"And just so you know, I noticed you the first day I saw you in that coffee shop gawking at me."
"I wasn't." I denied immediately but her eyebrow raised and I surrendered. "Yeah, I was." I admitted. "You are just so beautiful."
She smiled at me and my heart soar, "You are beautiful too, Kat."
Butterflies erupted inside my stomach once again! Seriously? What are these butterflies doing inside of me?
I stared at her deep into her eyes. "This is really new for me. But I think…" My heart was bursting out of my chest, "I think I really like you…"
She smiled and I leaned towards her and kiss her lips once again. Deepening the kiss, I angled my head. She welcomed the intensity of the kiss. My knees felt weak. Her lips were so soft. Her tongue was asking for permission in a very subtle way but I immediately granted it by opening my mouth and massaging her tongue with my own.
I've never kissed a girl before until now. And I liked it…
I felt her smile while we kissed. I can't help but smile too.