A/N: New Moon Parody time. Wheey!
By the way, RAJOT means Romeo And Juliet Obsessed Teacher
Location: Bella's Room.
Bella: (Sleep talking) Gran... Edward... sparkles... I'm Old... BIRTHDAY! (Wakes up) Few, I thought it actually was my birthday.
Charlie: Happy Birthday.
Bella: Oh crap.
AC: Way to be enthusiastic, Charlie. I know she's an obnoxious bitch, but, come on!
Charlie: What do you want me to do? Run in screaming 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' a the top of my lungs?
AC: Well, yeah.
Charlie: Well, I'm not, Bella, here's your present, take it or leave it.
Bella: Thank... you.
Charlie: And before I go, you have a grey hair.
Bella: I HAVE A WHAT? (Runs to mirror, banging her head on it)
AC: My God, Bella. He's kidding. I know having a sense of humour isn't part of your job description, but honestly!
----
Location: School Car Park.
Jessica: Today's the big day, Bella!
Bella: (In Head) Crap. She knows, perfect, big-mouth Stanley! Just act normal. (Out loud) Huh?
Jessica: R and J essay, dude?
AC: I knew it! Bella's a guy!
Jessica: She is?
Bella: Oh, right, yeah. (Gets camera out) I want a picture of you guys.
Angela: I take 'em, I'm not in 'em.
Eric: No one will look at you, I'm in the picture!
Jessica: Photoshop so my nose looks good.
AC: I'll Photoshop it so it's HUGE!
Mike: Oh, C-U-L-L-E-N-S here.
Bella: (Thinking face) C-U-L-L-E-N?
AC: CULLEN! CULLEN, YOUR BOYFRIEND'S LAST NAME!
Bella: Oh.
Edward: (Sexy slow-motion walk)
Bella: (Falls because she's high on Edward's sexiness)
Edward: (Picks Bella up) Hello Birthday Girl.
Bella: Don't call me BIRTHDAY GIRL!
----
Location: Hallway
Edward: Why have you got a present from Wolf boy?
Bella: Because I have-- Wait. Wolf Boy?
Edward: Uh...
Alice: Bella! (Jumps over railing and falls) Ahh! (Jumps up) Happy Birthday!
Bella: Shut the fuck up! If anyone says that agin I'll kill them!
Alice: (Hands Bella present) I've seen you open it, and guess what?
AC: She dies a horrible painful death?
Alice: No, she loves it!
AC: Aw, damn it! (Disappears)
Alice: You'll wear it tonight, at our place...
AC: (Appears) Alice, the whole point of a present is that the person who receives it has no idea what it is. You just clued that you wear it, that means CLOTHING!
Bella: A party?
Alice: Please?
Jasper: (Emotion control face)
Bella: (Giggles) Okay!
Alice: Great, I'll see you at 7!
Bella: (Snaps out of the trance) JASPER, STOP CONTROLLING MY EMOTIONS, DAMNIT!
Jasper: Sorry, Happy--
Bella: (Angry face)
Jasper: Never-mind.
----
Location: A lesson (Wait, is the lesson English?)
Edward: (Whispering) Pfft. Romeo and Juliet have no idea about suicide.
Bella: (Whispering) Huh?
Edward: (Whispering) Look at them, he's ranting on about how much he loves her and she's not even dead!
AC: (Whispering) Remind you of someone?
Edward: (Whispering) Shut it. Anyway, vampires have better ways to die.
Bella: Like what? ( Gets out note pad and her 'I heart Edward' pen)
Edward: Go to Italy and provoke the Volturi.
Bella: (Writing) Italy... how do you spell Volturi?
Edward: V-o--
RAJOT: Mr Cullen, repeat what just happened!
Edward: Uh... he spoke to Juliet's no-so-dead body?
RAJOT: Eyes on the screen people.
1st chapter! Wheey!
Next Chapter: The dreaded Birthday party... :O
REVIEW?
AC x