I've been wanting to get this idea out of my head and into words. I am going through a state of depression because of a little witch called "art". I honestly want to give up so badly, and I am just thoroughly, extremely, excruciatingly exhausted. The tears well up, but do not release; and so, for now, the remedy of that pain shall be writing. Since it is a small, dimly lit period for me, it shall reflect in my writing. At least my muse decided to visit. I hope you do enjoy. - and I do not know where this will be headed. I shall simply follow my muse.
Under The Same Moon
Rated: T+ (may change)
Pairing: SebaCiel
Setting: After Alois arc
Summary: It seemed that the butler was so drenched in his own thirst and loss of a divine soul, that he forgot it wasn't truly loss. Loss was pain searing the soul, the heart, the mind, the body. The butler hadn't felt it. The master on the other hand felt it agonizingly, and believed with a bitter heart: it was all because they were under the same moon.
Chapter 1:
"Something once lost,"
What was grief?
"Yes, my lord,"
What was anguish?
"You requested my presence, Ciel?"
What was sorrow?
"Here, you brat,"
What was misery?
"What now?"
What… was true pain?
"..."
Throughout the timespan of being this dark creature, Ciel Phantomhive, for the first time, did not know how and what to feel.
All was well in the beginning. After the reality was broken to Sebastian, he seemed to handle it well with no protests or complaints; excluding the time he tried to kill Ciel to test if he truly was one of his kind. But as time progressed, so did the butler's feelings, and not in a positive sentiment. Ciel had never expected it. Ciel had never been addressed by the butler as several insulting names. Ciel had never imagined the cold demeanor of the butler being directed towards him. Ciel had never known a single moment when the butler would not come to his aid at a simple snap of the fingers. Ciel had never.
The butler. The demon. Never. He had never.
Until a few months ago.
"Are you happy now, child?" The other male's eyes flashed an awry red for the longest time Ciel had seen it.
Without a single word uttered, Ciel simply stood in disbelief and watched as the slender figure left the room in a swift motion. Ciel didn't move. He didn't mind the transition from light to dark. He didn't mind the darkness that embraced him in consolation as the moon waned off far in the distance. It was cold. Was it always this cold?
With a bitter smile at a bitter reminisce of just a few months ago, Ciel had managed to unravel the clumsy knot of his eyepatch that he now tied himself every day. Hugging the eyepatch to his chest, his eyes were glassy. They shined as he moved to watch his reflection in the window. Tears didn't fall. Watching the one odd eye he possessed, he chuckled. The chuckles slowly grew to soft laughter, to chortles of laughter, and then heavy sobs; sobs that wracked through his body; that contained no shedding of precious crystals. With one hand clutching the eyepatch to his heart tightly, and the other tugging at his hair in hysterics, he grit his teeth. The small, fragile-looking body rocked himself, knees hugged close to his chest against the hard surface of the desk. This wasn't the way he wanted to spend eternity or an everlasting contract. But what could he do?
Waking up on the cold ground, Ciel rubbed his eyes in annoyance. It was one of those rare nights once more. What a damsel in distress was he? Huffing, he rose from the awkward position, and stretched his sore body out. With a wince, he walked forward and called out his butler's name. "Oi, Sebastian," he muttered in his raspy voice. "Prepare my bath," he stated simply, not bothering about his appearance when the butler appeared. Sebastian turned on the tap and allowed it to run for a while until the white tub was almost three-quarters full. "Enjoy," the butler had spoke with a smile, hidden sarcasm in his clear voice. Undressing, the younger demon wondered what it was today. Scorching water, or frigid?
It didn't take long until the young master dipped half his leg in to know. "Yes, of course," he mumbled under his breath, "Subzero water for a subzero season."
Without a thought, Ciel dipped his whole body in without a single whimper. He was now used to bathing in such abnormal degrees of water that the normal human body would not be able to sustain. With a minuscule shiver, he proceeded to wash his hair lazily, not minding the products he used to do so.
After getting out, he left the bath and grabbed the towel draped over the rack. Months ago, this would have been folded neatly with no wrinkles whatsoever and sorted precisely by size and colour. Now, it was simply a pile of chaos sitting atop skinny metal shelves, and the same applied to almost everything in the new manor they resided in. After dressing himself with the clothes that were thrown askew on his bed, and tying his eye-patch, he head straight for the dining room.
Demons didn't require the need to eat, but Ciel was set on eating the food despite that. Various reasons it had served; one ultimately being that he would be able to Sebastian at least one more time throughout the day if he did, but he would never voice the thought. Eyeing the carelessly made eggs, sausages, and toast, he blinked, used to the quality of the food now. Rubbing the sapphire gem rested on silver on one thumb, he sat down, then caressed the other ruby ring just the same. Sipping the morbidly made white tea, he wondered, how low could this butler go? Rolling his eyes, he caught a glimpse of Sebastian passing by. Snorting through his nose, he called out, "Sebastian," He crossed his right leg over his left elegantly, "Why don't you just leave?" Ciel rubbed his temple with his pointer finger, releasing a frustrated sigh. "You could leave at any time you wished to, but you don't. Why is it that you don't, butler?"
There was a moment of silence. What could Sebastian say? Truth be told, he didn't know himself.
The older turned away and simply replied, "I need to go out to buy more food. Our stock has been decreasing since you heavily insist on eating like a pig even though we demons are not needed to."
With a blank face, Ciel watched as he let Sebastian leave. "Tch," he scoffed, eyes downcast. With an unclear mind, he didn't know what he was doing until it was done. Porcelain, liquid, and scraps of what was to be his breakfast adorned the floor along with screams and shatters. Breathing heavily, he paused to stare at the mess he had accomplished. Once composed, the boy left; walking steadily with shaky breaths out of the room.
Not one of the other knew that Sebastian heard the outburst whilst his back against the wall, silently listening, eyes containing a small spark the owner could not identify; and Ciel had later on found that the kitchen was full and over-packed in contrary to the butler's words.
"As if I care."
"As if someone cared."
Chapter 1:
"will never return."
and there you have it. This was a rather odd start and I am not used to writing angst, but the music I listened to triggered something in me e.e Please feel free to leave a review. Constructive criticism is much appreciated.