Community: 31days
Date/Theme: August 2/Visceral Love
Characters/Pairings: Kazuki Hihara/Kahoko Hino
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Smile
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Kazuki is simple because what he wants most in the world is something small. It isn't fame or money, it isn't anything that many people can give him nor is it something 'material'.
All he wants is for Kahoko to smile.
Just because it is small, though, doesn't mean that it is easy to get. Kahoko breaks easily, too easily, and that smile disappears for a while.
It always comes back, though.
Kazuki wants to make sure it never disappears in the first place.
-x-
"Kaho-chan," he says, "Are you ok?"
The look on her face tells him that she isn't. Even as she tells him that she's fine, that she isn't sad or sick at all, he sees through the lies.
"Kaho-chan, you aren't smiling."
She stops speaking at that. There is nothing she can say against it and instead she falls silent. They remain like that, one looking at the ground as the other watches her.
"If there is something wrong, you can tell me," he tries to pull out the problem, hoping she'll tell him.
She doesn't answer, making him worry more. No matter how much he asks her, no matter how much he wants it, she doesn't tell him the problem.
The look on her face is even more broken, as though she knows the secret would hurt her even more if it is told, and he stops.
Instead, he asks another question. "Kaho-chan, would you listen to me play?"
She looks at him in surprise. "Play?"
"There is this new song I learned. I have to practice it a bit more but would you mind listening to it?"
"Eh? But…" He pleads with his eyes and she sighs. "Sure."
"Good!" He quickly gets his trumpet out of its case and stands in front of her, proud and tall.
Slowly, he plays a song of strength.
Give Kaho-chan courage. She needs it.
-x-
"I'm lost," she tells him one day. They are swinging in the park and she's staring up at the sky. "Everything I know is changing; everyone I know is disappearing slowly."
Kazuki listens quietly, realizing this moment may never come again. When he needs to be, he can be serious.
"My music is changing too. It isn't mine even. It's someone else's and I'm just borrowing it…" Her voice trails off and their swings creak in the silence.
"Everything doesn't always change," he replies, watching her face. She isn't smiling. Instead, there is a sad turning of her lips and a glassy look in her eyes.
"Really? I'm not the same person I was before the concurs," there is a bitter sound in her voice and Kazuki hates it.
"You're still the same girl. You still love music, you still love the violin."
"Oh, really?" she laughs, a broken sound, "That's not true. I didn't at the beginning."
There has to be something he can say to save her. Something that will stop this girl from falling apart.
"I'm still the same," he tells her, smiling. She stares at him, not sure of what to say. "I love the trumpet more than anything." That's a lie, actually, because Kahoko has come to mean a lot to him. She has come to mean everything and…he doesn't know what to say about that. It won't help her knowing that. "I also love to run. Yunoki is my best friend, my nii-san and I still fight over food."
She remains silent, swinging silently as she listens to him.
"I now lo—have more friends," her eyes widen at this and he knows he found the right thing to say even though he nearly slipped with his words, "such as Kaho-chan."
"Friends," she murmurs to herself, in deep thought, and the sad look on her face is gone. Instead there is a contemplative look.
"Kaho-chan, I've been practicing a new song. Would you like to listen?" He doesn't wait for a reply this time, instead he just gets his trumpet and starts to play.
Kaho-chan, the world doesn't always change for the worse.
-x-
It's a beautiful wedding, with a small group of guests and all of his friends. The food is delicious, something that should have made him happy, and the orchestra playing is nearly over, meaning he will be playing next.
He would have been happier had this not been Kahoko's wedding. It had been a surprise when he had received her invitation, telling him of her wedding.
Kazuki didn't even know she had been dating.
"Thank you," she had told him when he arrived, "I'm glad you could make it. Thank you for helping me before."
"It was nothing," he grinned, trying to act normal around her. It was her wedding and he didn't want to ruin it. "Is that food?"
"Deserts." She smiled. "Help yourself."
He didn't reply, instead running towards the table, hiding the disappointed look on his face.
As he watches her dance, Kazuki wishes he had actually told her about his feelings. Over the years he hadn't managed to get around to it. Maybe it was because he liked their friendship as it was, didn't want it destroyed at all. Maybe it was because he didn't want to lose her trust, didn't want to hear rejection.
Now, he wouldn't have minded facing all of that because at least then he doesn't have to wonder about what could-have-been.
"Kazuki, it's time," Kahoko appears in front of him. "I can't wait to see how your music has changed."
It has changed a lot, especially because of today. He doesn't say that, though, and instead tells her to wait and see.
Kaho-chan, this is goodbye.
-x-
Kazuki doesn't want much except to have Kahoko smile. That is why he improves his playing, why he keeps trying his best in his music.
Smile for me he thinks, playing the trumpet. Smile for me. Let me wash away those tears. Let me take away those fears.
He always has a song ready, something to give her courage, something to make her laugh, something bright and light to make her happy. His trumpet is used to show her how to move on, something he tries to help her with over and over again.
Smile, that's all I need. I'm fine with you being someone else's as long as you just smile.
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A/N: A lot more depressing than I expected, but I don't think this came out too bad…
I tried to take that whole idea of smiling, the thing that Kazuki keeps repeating over and over, even when I think he doesn't need to.
(Ohh…he's like a knight! XD)
Anyways, what do you think?
Questions? Comments? Suggestions?
Review!