Author's Notes: Hey all! I started this one shot before my computer keeled over on me. Thankfully I was able to save most of it and now it's finally done. Bo and Kenzi's friendship is still my favourite, but Kenzi and Tamsin's mother/daughter relationship intrigues me. I love how two of the most powerful fae in history would do anything to protect Kenzi, a human. I'm working on updates to Broken Heart, Lost Soul and Tortura. I hope this holds you over until then :) Please leave a review and let me know if you like it!
Past Problems, Future Consequences
"And do you remember when we tried baking a cake? It looked like a tornado hit the kitchen!" Tamsin smirked.
Kenzi laughed, "yeah that's what I get for letting lil' you pick out the toppings. I've never heard of tabasco sauce on a cake before."
Tamsin scrunched up her face, "that was also before I knew what tabasco sauce was. If anything, it somehow made the cake taste better."
Kenzi stuck her finger in her open mouth, pretending to gag. "That's the last time I base anything off of my babushka's recipes."
Tamsin chuckled, loving how happy Kenzi looked while they sat on the couch, reminiscing about the valkyrie's rebirth. "You're going to make an amazing mom some day Kenz," she told her sincerely, her smile never wavering.
Kenzi's face fell immediately, the light in her eyes dimming, although she tried to cover it up with a mumbled, "thanks."
She couldn't hide her feelings from Tamsin; after being raised by her, the blonde knew her too well for that. "What's wrong?" she frowned.
Kenzi looked back at her with a smile that didn't reach her eyes plastered on her face for Tamsin's benefit. "Thanks lil' T, but you're the only kid I'm ever going to have."
Tamsin furrowed her eyebrows, concerned over her friend's words. "What do you mean? Don't you want to have kids of your own?"
"Nah," Kenzi waved her hand, blowing it off like it wasn't a big deal. "I'm not into the whole kid thing, been there done that. And I can't wear a corset if I'm pregnant. Geeze, think about what it would do to my wardrobe, not to mention the whole screaming-as-if-you're-dying during child birth," she listed off the reasons using her fingers, trying to think of every possible negative. "No thanks, I'll pass."
Tamsin squinted her eyes at the young girl, her Valkyrie sensing a growing despair within her. "Kenzi, don't lie to me," she warned.
Kenzi pointed a finger at her half-jokingly, "don't talk back to your moms."
"I'm serious Kenzi," Tamsin's voice gained an edge she normally didn't use when talking to Kenzi, but the more Kenzi tried to evade her questioning, the more worried the blonde was becoming.
Kenzi folded her arms across her chest defensively, not liking her adopted daughter's tone of voice. "So am I. Just leave it." She rose from the couch, effectively ending the conversation until Tamsin spoke again.
"Do I need to go get Bo?" she asked, knowing the succubus was upstairs. If Kenzi wouldn't open up to her, then maybe she would talk to her best friend about whatever was bothering her.
Kenzi whirled around wide-eyed, fear evident in her features as she glanced between Tamsin and the staircase. "No!" she shouted on instinct before lowering her voice back to normal, "no. Don't tell her, I can't tell her," she rambled, her body beginning to tremble.
Tamsin jumped up off the couch at seeing the extreme reaction her words had caused. She wrapped her arms around Kenzi, "hey it's okay, I won't get her, I promise. It's okay." She tried to ease Kenzi's suffering. She could feel the young woman shaking against her. She led her back to the couch, settling them back down onto the cushions. Tamsin rubbed Kenzi's back soothingly, unsure of what to do in this situation. What could have set her friend off like this? And what would have Kenzi so freaked out that she wouldn't even tell Bo? "Please talk to me," she whispered, needing to know what was causing Kenzi so much pain.
Kenzi's eyes remained trained on the floor. It was a long while before she finally spoke, her voice so soft Tamsin was unsure if she had heard correctly. "I physically can't have children." Tamsin inhaled sharply, not expecting those words to come out of the human's mouth. Kenzi continued, ignoring the gasp. "I was about 14 when it happened." Tamsin remained quiet, listening intently. She was afraid if she made any sound it might deter Kenzi from finishing her story. "I'd been living on the streets for a few years already, I thought I knew everything there was to know about surviving in that world, but I was just a naïve kid myself." She shook her head at her stupidity now that she looked back on it. "These two guys came up to me, asking about a friend we all had in common. They must have been watching me for a while to have known who I hung out with. I had my guard up, I always did. You can't trust anyone. But like a kid who meets a stranger who claims their parents sent them, I wasn't as cautious as I should have been. One of the guys began complimenting me, telling me how beautiful I was. That right there started setting off warning bells in my head. He began toying with my hair as he mentioned how silky it was. I went to pull away from him, but his hand quickly moved from my hair to grip my neck. I kicked him in his shin, causing him to let me go, before I took off running." She paused, becoming lost in thought for a moment, "I could hear their footsteps pounding the pavement behind me." She finally lifted her head to look at Tamsin, her eyes glossy. "I wasn't fast enough," she confessed.
The Valkyrie slipped her hand into Kenzi's, squeezing tightly to provide reassurance. Kenzi returned the gesture, grateful for Tamsin's support. "They knocked me down. I screamed for help, but no one wanted to interfere with a bunch of street kids. They just kept walking T," Kenzi said in disbelief, "like I didn't even exist." Tamsin gritted her teeth; how could no one stop to help a defenseless girl being attacked by two men? She froze, wondering if she would have been one of those people who just walked by with barely a sideways glance. In her last life, she typically didn't a give a shit about other fae, so why would she care about humans? She shuddered at the thought, wondering just how many situations like that she had ignored, how many lives she could have saved but had instead indirectly ruined.
"They dragged me kicking and screaming into a nearby alley, away from the public eye. Not that anyone was stopping to help me anyways," she added the last part with disdain. "They threatened me with a knife before using it to cut my clothes off. One of them…he held me down while the other guy, he um," tears leaked out of the corners of her sorrowful eyes. "They…" she sobbed, unable to say the words out loud. Once the floodgates opened, she couldn't close them. "I tried to stop them Tamsin! I swear I tried!" she cried, gasping for breath.
Tamsin tried to swallow the large lump in her throat, her chest constricting with a physical pain she was unaccustomed to in response to Kenzi's anguish. The Valkyrie pulled the younger woman into her chest without even thinking about her actions. "I'm so sorry Kenzi, I'm so sorry," she whispered in her friend's ear. Kenzi curled up in the blonde's embrace, futilely trying to regain control over her emotions. The Valkyrie smoothed her hand over raven locks, holding Kenzi's head close as she shook violently with the force of her tears. For the first time, the blonde didn't know what to do. Bo was better equipped to handle Kenzi in this state, but Kenzi didn't want Bo to know. She didn't understand Kenzi's adamant reluctance to tell her best friend something like this, especially with how much it was eating the young human up inside. But she would honor Kenzi's wishes, so for now, Tamsin was all Kenzi had.
Kenzi's small frame easily fit in Tamsin's lap. It shocked the Valkyrie how tiny and fragile Kenzi looked in this moment. It pained her to see the woman who raised her so broken and devastated. It was a foreign feeling to her still, to sympathize with someone and feel their heartache, yet it had become increasingly more common for her since meeting Bo and Kenzi.
After a few minutes that seemed like hours to Tamsin, the sounds of Kenzi's despair became too much for her to sit there and do nothing. Not knowing how to proceed, she went with a lesson Kenzi had taught her and listened to her heart, letting it guide her. "Listen to me carefully, none of this is your fault. You fought as hard as you could, I know you did. They're the heartless bastards who do this, and I promise you, if I ever find them, I'll make sure they're unable to bare children before ending their miserable lives." Tamsin clearly envisioned herself chopping off their dicks, watching them bleed out with sheer horror etched into every feature of their faces. Even that wouldn't be good enough, but it would have to do for now. Tamsin pushed aside the violent yet appeasing thoughts, choosing to focus on the woman in her arms. She pulled back to look down into Kenzi's watery blue eyes, even if Kenzi didn't meet her gaze. "No matter what happens, you will always be my mom, and I will always be your daughter," Tamsin told her, trying to push as much love, sincerity, and affection into that one sentence as she could in order to make Kenzi believe her. She must have said something right because Kenzi's eyes suddenly locked onto her for a brief second before her arms encircled the blonde, squeezing her with all of her might.
"Thank you," Kenzi mumbled into Tamsin's chest between sobs. "I love you."
"I love you too," Tamsin said, for once in her many lifetimes saying that phrase out loud and actually meaning it with her whole being.
Bo descended the stairs onto the main floor. She had every intention of going into the kitchen to grab a drink until she heard the unmistakable sounds of someone crying. Her eyes landed on the two women on the couch, surprised to see Kenzi curled up tightly in Tamsin's lap while the Valkyrie tried to comfort her. Panic raced through Bo at the sight, a million scenarios tore through her mind about what could have happened to Kenzi and all of them ending badly.
Tamsin looked up as she heard the succubus' approaching footsteps. The brunette's mouth was slightly agape, her eyebrows furrowed in worry, and her hand seemed to stretch outward halfway towards her friends in response to her need to ease Kenzi's pain. "Is she okay?" Bo asked the most important question, although in retrospect it seemed like a stupid question to ask about someone who was crying. Obviously Kenzi was anything but okay.
Thankfully Tamsin knew Bo well enough to know what she meant. "She's not hurt," the blonde responded. Her answer seemed like a half-truth: while Kenzi was not injured, those two men had caused permanent damage all those years ago.
"What happened?" Bo asked softly. Kenzi's head instantly popped up at Bo's question, fear glistening in her eyes behind the unrelenting tears. Her gaze went from Bo to Tamsin, waiting to see if the Valkyrie would keep her word.
Tamsin shook her head slowly, "it's not my story to tell. Right now, she just needs her best friend." The blonde could feel some of the tension drain from Kenzi's body, realizing that Tamsin wasn't going to tell Bo anything.
Bo nodded, "of course." Her eyes met piercing blue orbs, "she always has me."
Kenzi bit her bottom lip, needing to hear those words. The succubus walked around the couch, settling down on the other side of Kenzi. Tamsin relaxed her grip and Kenzi lunged for Bo, the brunette's arms wide open, waiting to receive the girl she considered her family. Kenzi's sobs increased now that she was in the safety of her sister's embrace. Tamsin's hand still lingered on her back. She was between the two people who meant the most to her, being comforted by them, loved by them, cared for by them. The two men she had met when she was fourteen didn't give a damn about her, leaving her for dead in a filthy alley like she was a piece of trash. She thought they had ruined her past, her present, and her future, denying her the opportunity to ever have a family of her own, to ever know what it was like to have a real family who loved her. But she was wrong. She made her own future. She had found her family. Well technically, her family had found her. And there was nowhere she would rather be than right here.