Cloud woke up with a groan. That had hurt. He'd never crashed Fenrir before, what had caused it to happen this time?

"Oi, he's awake!" a voice yelled. A familiar voice. An impossible voice. Zack was dead.

"Good, I want answers," another voice answered. An even more impossible voice. Because it was his voice, but he knew that he hadn't said anything.

"You're not the only one," the voice that sounded like Zack said cheerfully.

Cloud opened his eyes slowly, aware that the room was lit. What he saw only confirmed the impossibility of what he had heard. There was Zack leaning over him, and another him standing not too far beyond, wearing a suit for some reason. Not a Turk suit, but a suit all the same.

"This is impossible," Cloud croaked.

Zack pressed a glass of water against his lips and Cloud drank gratefully.

"Don't tell us that," the other Cloud said. "You're the one who crashed your bike into the wall of the old ShinRa cadet barracks. Who are you?"

"Cloud Strife."

"And there's where we have a problem, because I am Cloud Strife," the other Cloud studied him intently. "Only it looks like you went through the SOLDIER program."

Cloud shook his head. "Failed the exam, was a grunt in the army."

Zack frowned. "Then how'd you get mako eyes?"

"Puppy," the other Cloud scolded. "You have things you have to do. Let me question my doppelgänger."

Zack nodded and left.

"Now, run that by me again?" the other Cloud said, sitting down beside Cloud, handing him a glass and poised with pen over paper, ready to take notes of what Cloud had to say.

~oOo~

It was two hours since Zack had left Cloud to deal with ... Cloud. It was confusing as hell, but he was done for the day now, and he wanted to get back before Seph got to find out that there were now two of the cute chocobos.

He opened the door just in time to see Cloud slapping Cloud soundly on the cheek, spilling the glass of water that he'd been holding. Er... Cloud in the suit slapping Cloud who had mako eyes, spilling the water that mako-eyed Cloud had been holding.

"Hey, what gives? What did I miss?"

"You know that phrase you all of one time to describe Vincent, back when he was fresh out of the casket?"

"Er... delusion-riddled angst-muffin?" Zack offered tentatively.

Cloud-in-suit nodded. "That's him," he said fiercely, pointing at mako-glow Cloud. "To a wretched T."

"You're not serious," Zack said, blinking in shock. "Come on Cloud, you're one of the happiest, most well-adjusted person in the world! A little twisted in your punishments, but otherwise very -"

Cloud silenced him by pushing the filled note-pad against Zack's chest firmly, his blue eyes blazing, and just the very tiniest glow of mako around the edges from years of putting a tiny little bit of the stuff in his bathwater.

"Where he comes from Zack, he's never met Angeal or Genesis, you and Aerith are dead, and because Sephiroth went mad in Nibelhiem because he read Hojo's reports himself, locking himself in that room and not eating for three days and then not even finding all of Hojo's notes, the whole world went to pot. And he blames himself on top of all that!" Cloud-in-suit whisper-yelled. "He even blames himself for things that are blatantly somebody else's fault, like all the experiments Hojo, Gast and Hollander left behind."

Zack pulled a face. "Okay, slap justified. Go cuddle with your boyfriend or find a scientist to poison, I'll set him straight."

Cloud-in-suit chuckled weakly and smiled. "Thanks Zack," he said. "I think I'll just practice my sword-work for a while though. The Generals are all in a meeting with the President and the head of the security division. Won't be out for another hour at least."

Zack nodded his understanding, and when Cloud-in-suit had left, Zack took the chair next to mako-eyed-Cloud's bed and read through the notes Cloud-in-suit had taken.

"Well, that is a mess," Zack said when he'd finished reading through everything. "Poor little angst-muffin chocobo," he added with a smile, patting mako-eyed-Cloud on the head, squashing some of his spikes. "You do know you can't go on like this, right?" Zack continued, holding up the filled in note-pad. "It's not healthy."

"It's my fault everybody dies," mako-eyed-Cloud said softly.

"Nah," Zack said. "That's Hojo mostly, and Jenova too. A few other psychos spread around, but it mostly boils down to them, far as I can see." Zack gave mako-eyed-Cloud a look over. "Look," he said, laying a hand on the mako-eyed-Cloud's shoulder. "Your version of life sucked. I get that. Not fun at all. But you seem to be focusing on the bad stuff way too much."

~End~

Thanks to inuani who suggested that my version of Cloud from 'Secretary to the Generals' meet his canon counterpart. I really liked that idea, so I wrote this. I feel it isn't as good as it could have been, but it's what I could come up with.