The Strangest Girl He Had Ever Met

Author's Notes: Hello!! This was written more because I was bored than anything else. I was watching Garden State one evening late at night and my very tired mind thought that it'd be neat to write a little something about what Andrew was thinking during the whole dog-leg thing. I also just wanted to see how well I could describe what was happening cause I haven't written anything in ages and I sort of want to get back into it. I may come out with more thoughts and junk from the movie and I might even write some stuff about what goes on after. I'm not exactly sure yet. But encouragement always helps. This happens at the doctor's office and the blind lady and her dog have just entered. It wasn't betaed and may be all over the place. But tell me what you thinkkkk!

Oh and yes, if you haven't seen this movie yet, your life is seriously missing out on something wonderful! So go rent it and love it and then buy it.

Disclaimer: Yep, no, don't own it.

'Stupid fucking dog,' Andrew thought as he watched the dog continue to satisfy its irrepressible male urges, on his leg of all places. His weak attempts at getting the thing to stop were having no affect, obviously, as it was still working away at it and wasn't showing any signs of finishing.

As if the whole ordeal wasn't awkward enough by itself, the small, child-like giggle he heard confirmed that he wasn't the only person with vision in tact sitting in the bland waiting room. He turned his head to his right and looked up to see a girl perched on one of the far chairs. She was small and wearing cloths that made her look younger than she probably was. Her knees were shoved up to her torso, feet placed on the blue cushion, and her hands were held innocently between them. As he brushed his eyes over her, she continued to laugh at the interesting state he was in, shoulders shaking up and down as she did so.

"Got any suggestions?" he asked, glancing down at the dog quickly. She looked at him for a moment, the smile she wore from laughing still on her face.

"Oh, what?" She said, bringing her hands up to the big, sticker-covered headphones sitting on her ears. She obviously had only seen his lips move at her and not heard the words coming out of them

"Got any suggestions?" he repeated once the headphones were safely sitting around her neck.

"Yeah, kick his balls," she replied not too innocently in a faint Jersey accent. His eyes opened slightly wider and his brow furrowed as he shifted his head to look down at the dog and its progress. Her suggestion was definitely the only solution, but the dog's manhood was at stake. Being of the same gender, Andrew sort of sympathized with it, even though it was only a dog and it was violating his leg.

"Kick his balls," the girl said again, this time getting up and quickly tiptoeing over to him. She placed herself on the chair one over from him, sitting with her legs underneath her like a little girl would, and looked at the whole situation with another playful smile on her face.

"Yeah, but I don't wanna, like, destroy future generations of charitable dogs," he said, voicing his concerns with the whole kick-his-balls suggestion. He pulled his head back a bit and made a disgruntled looking face. The whole thing was a bit too painful to watch.

"No, don't worry about it." she said as casually as if she talked about this sort of thing usually. "I got three Dobermans. If I didn't kick them in the balls regularly, I'd never get anything done."

He looked down at it again. "But he's gotta be close to finishing by now," Andrew replied, wishing the whole thing was over with. He had been going at it for a while now. Long enough for him to have aninteresting conversation with this random girl.

"Not yet," she answered, her voice hinting to him that the worst was still yet to come. The smile she had been wearing to that point finally disappeared and was replaced by a sickened stare as she too looked down at the dog. "Here comes the lipstick." Obviously, he was familiar with the mechanics of the situation and knew exactly what she had meant. He was definitely going to have the clean those pants as soon as he left, with bleach or maybe even hydrogen peroxide.

He put his hand to his forehead and averted his gaze, his cheeks burning in embarrassment. The girl beside him let out a little puff of air as the dog began to slow its pulsing.

"Mrs. Lubin?" the nurse said as she walked up to the blind women seated in the back of the room. "We're ready for you now."

"Okay. Come on, Arthur." The dog gave a whimper and leapt down from his leg.

'Thank the Lord it's over!' he thought as he watched the dog slowly make its way to its owner.

"I feel so used," Andrew said, trying to make light of the situation. He glanced over at the girl who still sat beside him as she laughed at his rather lame remark. He looked down at the clipboard that had been hanging neglected in his hands while the dog was on him and then back up at the girl who's playful grin had returned to her face.

"Thanks for your help." For some reason he thought he should say something to her. "For, at least, your good intentions." He awkwardly turned his focus back to the clipboard. Maybe she would go back to her original seat if he looked like he was occupied with it. He was still a little embarrassed by the unpleasant experience.

"I recognize you," she said a moment later. He turned his head to look at her once more.

"Oh, did you go to Columbia High?"

"No, not from high school", she said shaking her head slightly. "From TV."

"Oh," he mouthed, giving her one of those slow I-get-it-now nods. He knew this was going to lead to something strange. People didn't really recognize him for his work as an actor as his parts were few and far between. The ones he had played were mostly disabled people, the ones in those made-for-TV movies based on true stories that were played on extended cable late at night. But now that someone had recognized him, he wasn't exactly sure how he should react.

"Didn't you play the retarded quarterback?" she asked. It had obviously been his most memorable character as she was not the only person to mention it.

"Yeah," he replied looking up to answer and then back down at the clipboard, trying to remember what section he had left off at.

She lowered her voice a little and leaned towards him a few more degrees. "Are you actually retarded?" she asked ponderingly. His head turned suddenly in her direction and he paused for a beat before answering. No one had actually asked him that before.

"No, I'm not," he said slowly.

"Cool," was her reply. Somehow he knew she actually meant it. "Great job man. I mean, I thought you were really retarded. You're just as good as that Corky kid, and he's actually retarded. I mean, if there is some sort of like retarded Oscar you would win like hands down, kick his ass."

"Well, thank you. Thanks, I appreciate it," he replied. Really, how were you supposed to reply to something like that? It was a compliment, sort of. "I have to fill out this form though, so…" He wasn't having much success with it. It was kind of hard to concentrate with this girl sitting beside him talking constantly. It was strange but he didn't really mind.

"Right on."

"Thanks." He wondered how long the silence would last for.

Andrew turned back to the clipboard and let his eyes fall on the black typed out words. What section was he on? He quickly scanned the information he had already jotted down and about halfway down he saw where the ink writing stopped. He grasped the pen a little tighter and prepared to get down to business. Have you ever experienced this type of…

"My cousin's an actor," she said as if the conversation had never ended. He drew in a slightly exasperated breath, lifted his head, and stared at a space on the white wall in front of him for a moment before turning back to look at her. "Jake Ryan Winters. Doubt you've ever heard of him. He was, like, on Xena once as gnome or something." She paused. "That's really cool though."

He nodded at her again, said thanks, and looked down at the clipboard once more. He had barely gotten three quarters of the way through it.

"Oh, my God," she said, the tone of her voice quickly turning serious. She brought her hand up to her temple in slight shock, the bright red of an elastic band wrapped around her pinky grabbing his attention. She really was like a little, innocent girl.

"That scene. That last scene…" Andrew inwardly sighed. She was talking about that role again. "…where you give the speech to the whole stadium…and your dad—oh, your dad gives you the thumbs up. Aw. That was, like—that was emotional."

Andrew nodded his head again, still unsure what to say to her. She was the king of person that never turned off. The ones that keep going and going until their internal battery eventually crashes. Her battery wasn't even nearing the endpoint yet.

"So, you got anything else coming out?" she asked as she adjusted her weight on the seat.

"No. You know, I'm just auditioning--"

"I can't believe you're not really retarded!" She blurt out, slapping her hand on her temple in childlike disbelief. "I mean, Jake's not a very good actor. You can't really tell on Xena 'cause he's in the hairy gnome suit and everything, but when we were little, he used to put on these really, really low-budge renditions of Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals in our attic. And they were…aweful! Like so bad." She paused for a second and let out what sounded like a laugh and a sigh. A wide grin took over her beaming face and her eyes were directed down at some unknown spot on the floor as she retraced her random childhood memory.

And then just as easily as the random surge came out, it started to leave. Still with eyes unfocused, her voice lowered and gained a settled tone. "Ah, it sucks, though, because there's not that much work for little people, you know?" Andrew suddenly let out a little pent-up snort and looked down again. It was amazing how this girl could both bother and amuse him at the same time without trying.

"Anyway, I'm talking too much." She glanced over at him, down at his forms, and then back at him again before starting to shift away. "I'll just—You got to fill out your forms." Her hands grabbed the sticker-covered headphones that were still around her neck and pulled them from behind her head, readying the speakers to place back on her ears.

"What are you listening to?"

"The Shins. You know 'em?" Andrew shook his head slightly and answered that he didn't. "You gotta hear this one song. It'll change your life. I swear." She lifted herself up, headphones in hand, and edged towards him. She was about to put the headphones over his ears when she stopped herself short and drew her arms back.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said with a hint of sarcasm. "You have to—uh. You gotta fill out your forms." She hunkered herself down in the seat directly beside him, feet under her and looked down at the forms.

"Conundrum," she blurt out suddenly. Andrew's lowered head turned towards her for the hundredth time as she moved the headphones back and forth in front of him. "Thank you could, uh, maybe listen while you fill out your forms?"

As she was halfway through her sentence Andrew put down the pen he was still holding and grabbed the headphones from her. "Yeah, I think I can handle it."

"Yeah? Okay."

He put the headphones on his ears and adjusted them so that the foamy cushions were placed properly. The song started out slow, vocals growing louder as it progressed and a tambourine clapping out the beat in the background. A hint of a smile caught the corner of his lips as he listened to the guitar strum out the melody. It wasn't bad.

To this point he had been looking down, his eyes focused on nothing in particular. He suddenly shifted his gaze upward and let it settle on the girl beside him.

Gold teeth and a curse for this town,

Were all in my mouth.

Only, I don't know how,

She looked at him with embarrassment in her eyes as she crouched in the chair beside him. Her mouth curved delicately into a smile and as she watched him sit placidly with the headphones on. Andrew stared back at her and for a brief moment he stopped thinking about everything and let himself really see the girl beside of him. Her hair was a normal shade of brown but its twofold nature of being both wavy and frizzy was what suited her about it. Her eyes were also brown, set in an oval face and surrounded by long lashes, whose edges were lost in the corners of her never-ending smiles. Her cheeks were round, her nose was slender, and her chin sat between two innocent dimples. His eyes finally settled on her lips as they broke into another bright smile. They had a pleasant rosy hue to them and as he looked at beaming, he couldn't help but do the same, in a less noticeable sort of way, of course. She was a normal girl who didn't cover her face in layers of make-up and didn't spend hours on her hair. But as he looked at her more he realized she was probably very far from normal.

They got out, dear.

Turn me—

Andrew took the headphones off his head and placed them around his neck, the tinny sound of the song still audible. "It's good," he said truthfully. There was something very reassuring about that song. It made him feel like everything would be okay it you just let it happen. "I like it." She smiled and glanced around a little, the embarrassment she felt when he looked at her still evident in her features.

"So, what are you here for?" she asked.

"What are you here for?" he asked back.

"Waiting for a friend, you?" she asked, the tone of her voice telling him she didn't want him to know. He stopped and turned away. It was sort of hard for him to explain, let alone even understand it. The simple answer was that he was there to see if the headaches he had been getting were indicative of something worse. But he was starting to figure out that there was more to it and wasn't sure how to handle that.

"I, uh—"

"Oh, fuck, that was nosy. I'm sorry," she said scolding herself as she pulled her feet out from under her and sank her bottom into the chair. She gave a little 'ack' from her throat as she moved away from him. "I am so nosy. I ddin't—I didn't mean to be. I'm sorry." She brought her hand to the side of her head and rubbed it awkwardly, giving him a side-glance to see if he was annoyed with her.

"No, I just—I get these headaches. I just want to have it checked out."

"Cool."

"Andrew Largeman?" came the voice of the nurse. Andrew moved his gaze from the girl in front of him to the nurse waiting for him in the nearby doorway. It was his turn to go in so he quickly took of the headphones and handed them back to her.

"Thank you," he said lifting himself up from the seat. "Nice meeting you." He started walking towards the door when she spoke again.

"You didn't," she said sticking out her hand for a proper introduction. "I'm Sam."

"Andrew," he replied taking her small hand in his.

"Nice to meet you. Good luck with your head." She looked up at him from where she still sat, unsure of what to say next. He slowly turned towards the doorway again but as he was about to enter, the nurse popped out once more and addressed the girl still waiting.

"Don't worry, Sam. We'll be with you next." Andrew turned his head towards her and watched her as she looked down disconcertedly and put her headphones over her ears, trying to block out him and everything out around her. They both knew she'd lied to him.

He left the waiting room without looking back again. She was the strangest girl he had ever met and he wondered if he'd every see her again.